Puts the "ucks" in sucks.
NYC begins to witness power surges and blackouts due to a temporal disturbance in cyber space. The Turtles are convinced Shredder is behind this. However, due to the blackouts local thugs are taking advantage by looting banks. The Turtles must see to the madness drowning the city before they address their nemesis. -summary
Man, there's no other way to put this, Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: Arcade Attack straight up sucks. I mean there is almost nothing I like about this game. Awhile ago I wrote a review on how TMNT: Turtles in Time felt like a step back during its time in regards to brawlers, with the only reason it's actually remembered fondly being the name of the game, in other words, Konami just aped off the TMNT franchise and got away with it. I am looking at the exact same situation right now when evaluating Ubisoft's TMNT: Arcade Attack, except this game not only feels dated in the year of its original release back in 2009, but if not for the TMNT name, it wouldn't have survived back in 1992. This is a two player brawler stripped down to its bare bones. It can't get any simpler than this. Believe me when I tell you if you're a serious gamer with some type of standards, Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: Arcade Attack is no fun at all. It is the worst TMNT game I have ever played and possibly the worst brawler ever.
Game Play:
Arcade Attack follows the Turtles through 2.5D stages as they battle random thugs and Foot Clan ninjas. You can go at it in two player mode through the wireless card play with 2 DS's, or go it solo with a CPU partner assisting you. The game has a very interesting premise as it takes under consideration many people whom don't like to play brawlers alone, as it allows you to select your turtle and a secondary. The cool thing about this part is that your CPU partner actually does help you, and he never dies. He only gets pummeled to unconsciousness and you have to lift him off the ground with a single button. You on the other hand can be defeated, but you can continue right on the spot depending on how many points you accumulated; but don't worry about this though, because you're never going to run out of continues. In fact, you can probably make it to the 6th stage without dying once.
Now the games easy difficulty is only some of the problem, a large portion is in the game play. Redundancy has never been your enemy until you played this game. You slowly move through 8 stages fighting, fighting, and fighting some more. Yes, I understand that this is what makes a brawler, but there is nothing besides waves of enemies attempting to halt your progression. There are no stage traps, nothing to surprise you and snatch a blob of health, no vehicle stages, nothing, nothing but waves of enemies. You remember those hidden devices in Turtles in Time that sprung from the ground and froze you? Or how about falling debris from the ceilings? Forget it, there is nothing but the same lame ass fighters with the same moves and weapons. The stages are the definition of simplicity as they're only broken up into segments with nothing in their design separating what you just ventured. The only difference between chapter 8 from 1 are the backgrounds. The enemies are about as generic as can be and their weapons change only slightly. Outside of design swaps there isn't much variety among them. Even the bosses feel like the grunts. The only difference between them is some sort of secondary or special attack. The only thing that barely stands out here is the battle with Cyber Shredder, and this is easily the corniest battle with him I seen.
The Turtles are given various combos and at least three team moves. This is just pitiful window dressing pretending there's more to this horrible game, but the window dressing doesn't stop there though. Apparently, someone lied to the developing team in Ubisoft by claiming this game has deep game play. They decided to add as unlockables a Survival Mode and a Boss Rush. Who the hell in their right mind would want an extra serving of this?! There's also something extra to unlock by completing the game on hard mode. I have no desire to see or even look up what it is.
The game also has some bad hit detection and some pretty bad enemy feedback. For example, there were times I had an enemy in my combo string, and for some crazy reason they wouldn't flinch back, and they would instead break through and run pass me. There's also a move where you can grab the enemy, but it's sometimes hard to tell if you're even close to grabbing them. There are additional weapons to pick up, and for some strange reason, a lead pipe to the head does more damage than a katana blade through the body.... Interesting. The game play is a total mess, and it's way too damn boring to just turn off your brain and let the action guide you. The 8 stages are said to be short but they feel so long. I had to take breaks in between this thing.
The story mode maintains the personality of the TV series that took place in the 2000's, as the Turtles venture through different areas with the narrative delivering parts of the story, yet the story is kind of funny and not in a ha-ha type of way. Shredder is located in the future and he's sending Foot Soldiers to the present, but it's never explained why. From what I gather this takes place at some point towards the end of the 7th season Back to the Sewers. The Turtles mention Shredder is back, so that means he some how survived his apparent death after Wedding Bells and Bytes. Perhaps the story isn't even canon since these things aren't even addressed. I'm not going to shatter my brain trying to figure this out. I will point out that there's some fan service delivered through their rogues gallery, where you will face warriors such as Hun and the female ninja Karai, plus the cyborg mad scientist Baxter Stockman.
Controls:
The control set up feels weird too with all functions on the face pad: block, two different attacks, and a jump. The combos are responsive enough and there really isn't a learning curve here. I would say read the instructions to learn how to grab and perform team moves, but you can get along just fine mashing your way through this one.
Graphics/Sound/Music:
The animations and pixel character designs are horrible.They're among the worse you will see for the DS. I am not joking, there are plenty of 16 bit games with far better animation than this. The movements feel way too sluggish. The backgrounds are the games highest point but this really isn't saying much. There is some detail here with a few stand out stages with cyber space being the most memorable to me, because it does feel like the Turtles are in a computer network; yet as you advance through these stages everything just looks the same. There really isn't much variety. The game does have cut scenes influenced by the original black and white comic series that assist in telling the story of the Turtles going after Shredder, plus here you'll meet those familiar faces such as Stockman and Karai. Now I'm among that small group that never really cared too much for the artwork of the comic, and I don't care for it here either so the cut scenes are pretty much lost on me. Nothing stands out in regards to sound effects, and the music is the definition of ordinary. The TMNT video game franchise has always been known for its highly energetic soundtrack that reminded you of the TV series; Turtles in Time, Hyper Stone Heist, and the original Arcade game felt better than what they were because of the BGM's. The energy in this game feels as dead as it plays. Ubisoft made no effort in roping the player into the TMNT's world.
Final Thoughts:
This game takes the low road in its attempt to milk out replay value. I can only imagine the hardest TMNT fan hoping to unlock everything. I seriously do not recommend this game to anyone. Outside of this game being the only Turtles game to completely suck, there's nothing truly unique about it. Ignore anyone trying to land this bomb in your lap; either they're just trying to sell their copy or they're playing a cruel joke.
Rating: 1/10
Pros:I'm seriously reaching saying cut scenes and backgrounds
Cons:This game is a really bad mess.
