Having a little trouble writing mine, since I find it difficult to convey something in a natural prose when I'm deliberately trying to piss people off with every sentence. Anyway, I gave it a '10' (natch)...

This is the best Devil May Cry game since before the first game even came out! The game has great art direction that alternates between two distinct worlds with a brilliant soundtrack, and the plot has a kitschy '80s feel about it. I particularly like the design of Dante, who wears a stylish coat and has amazing hair (there's a hilarious moment where Dante tries on a white wig and notes how ridiculous it looks... so funny). And above all, the combat is great fun, with lots of combos spanning across numerous different weapon styles. The game has an extensive range of unlockable difficulty modes and good replay value. An absolute triumph and a real breakthrough for the series.

You need to add "I should preface this review by saying I've always been a fan of the series".

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i just rubbed my face over the keyboard. that's about as useful and insightful as most user reviews isn't it?

I think you should do something constructive instead, like planting a tree.

Fanboys have sad existences.

"Metacritic trolling user review" is redundant. You could have just said Metacritic user review.

@Klei said:

I think you should do something constructive instead, like planting a tree.

Why not just buy SpeedTree?

Don´t you have something better to do? Like, actually playing the game/any other game ever?

Meh it's too obvious you are trolling. 4/10.

...what?

And this is why I avoid Metacritic at all costs.

@doobie said:

r7dfgrtujtrd5piol9-0o4e53r786t-0c vfghpo'l;[c vp,okl;ygtc vp,[.l;c mócyt vgbik n

i just rubbed my face over the keyboard. that's about as useful and insightful as most user reviews isn't it?

Yes. This.

I've spent many a night reading 0/10 user reviews. Always provides a good laugh. Super Meat Boy and Fez provided an especially enjoyable time.

sigh

Eh, 5/10, I got a chuckle out of the thread.

@Klei said:

I think you should do something constructive instead, like planting a tree.

At this point you're pretty much as bad as the haters.

User reviews are the most useless things in the universe.

People give professional reviewers a ton of flak for their reviews, At least they can form a coherent argument...mostly

@Video_Game_King said:

@Klei said:

I think you should do something constructive instead, like planting a tree.

Why not just buy SpeedTree?

Well if you already own it he clearly doesn't need to buy it twice

@WolfHazard said:

You need to add "I should preface this review by saying I've always been a fan of the series".

Yes. I also missed out by not registering my username on there as 'dmcfan420'.

@NegativeCero said:

At this point you're pretty much as bad as the haters.

I'm not above a little complaining at the direction some franchises went in (Prince of Persia 2008 being an obvious one), but those guys are this generation's Fallout 3 haters. Utterly conceited to the point they think Ninja Theory literally pissed on a Van Gogh.

@Deusx said:

This thread is sad. Fuck you OP. The game is great. Go back to /v/. That's a good place to hate video games and write reviews about things you haven't played. /thread.

FYI I'm about five levels in. Not the best character action game I've played, but massive improvement on my last experience with Ninja Theory's work (I absolutely hated Heavenly Sword) and for better or worst it's the most interested I've been in DMC since the first one. The comments in the 'trolling' review are honestly what I think are positive attributes about the game, but I can't resist the idea of fucking with the contingent of people who are actively going back to Metacritic each day and voting down the positive reviews and upping the negative one, when critical consensus is so blatantly against them.

@Ghostiet said:

@Deusx: I'm pretty sure the OP is mocking the haters and the "trolling" part is about trolling the haters by having a positive opinion of the game.

Yes I just noticed, I'm a complete idiot. Sorry.

@EvilNiGHTS said:

@Deusx said:

This thread is sad. Fuck you OP. The game is great. Go back to /v/. That's a good place to hate video games and write reviews about things you haven't played. /thread.

FYI I'm about five levels in. Not the best character action game I've played, but massive improvement on my last experience with Ninja Theory's work (I absolutely hated Heavenly Sword) and for better or worst it's the most interested I've been in DMC since the first one. The comments in the 'trolling' review are honestly what I think are positive attributes about the game, but I can't resist the idea of fucking with the contingent of people who are actively going back to Metacritic each day and voting down the positive reviews and upping the negative one, when critical consensus is so blatantly against them.

I misunderstood your goal with this. Sorry for acting like a douche. You're a cool duder.

@Deusx said:

I misunderstood your goal with this. Sorry for acting like a douche. You're a cool duder.

No problem. I'll admit there's a sort of pettiness to it, it's just the right sort of petty, if you get my meaning.

wait, are the troll reviews on metacritic becoming meta now?

It's not very good trolling since most of your points pretty accurate.

@Klei said:

I think you should do something constructive instead, like planting a tree.

Heh.

But yeah, we don't need a thread for this. If you want to discuss your troll tactics then do it elsewhere.