Whispers in the wind perhaps, but holy hell there will be a damnable reckoning by the video game gods if they permit this! Postal, I understand. No one cares, but Metroid??????
What the hell would the movie be about? There's not a lot in Metroid that could be made into a movie. It'd be like making The Novelization of Die Hard.
She's America's cotton, readily available and virtually useless. He's Canada's largest waster for sets made of plaster and wood. Together, awesome if you just did the math.
@Godzilla_Sushi: I'm Canadian, he's a German ex-pat with dual citizenship. Speaking on behalf of the Government of Canada, we take no responsibility for the heinous acts of Uwe Boll.
" @Godzilla_Sushi: I'm Canadian, he's a German ex-pat with dual citizenship. Speaking on behalf of the Government of Canada, we take no responsibility for the heinous acts of Uwe Boll. "
that sounds pretty damn conjectural. even considering how shitty almost every video game adaptation has been to date, you can tell they're at least TRYING with some of them now. prince of persia at least has a capable cast, and some others like silent hill still sucked but had some things going for them (christopher gans is a good director, at least they gave it a go). but hiring uwe boll and jessica simpson just sounds like some website's idea of a funny joke. that would be an outright admission of defeat before the bell even rang. i don't see that happening. studios want to see video game movies succeed right now. like comic book adaptations, they have to go through some rough first, but every hollywood exec out there appreciates the value of a ready-made audience. i think metroid will get a full-trimming, big budget treatment with a decent action director and an a-list star. and it will still probably suck
" What the hell would the movie be about? There's not a lot in Metroid that could be made into a movie. It'd be like making The Novelization of Die Hard. "
Um....you know Die Hard is based on a book, right?
So, here's the "official" rumour:
"Actress Jessica Simpson is rumored to have secured the role of Space Bounty Hunter Samus Aran in a Hollywood version of a Nintendo game. In the game, Metroid, the hero controls Samus on her goal to rid the world of energy sucking beasts called Metroids. Think of it as a cross between Aliens and Dracula.
Simpson is excited to restart her movie career and is reportedly taking part in the selection of Samus' love interest. Simpson's publicists has also confirmed that she will be contributing to the plot. "Ms Simpson feels the plot is too complex and would like to move the plot closer to it's core story of love and adventure.
The movie, rumored to be directed by famed director Uwe Boll will feature a wise cracking ethnic Metroid played by the fat kid from good burger."
You all laugh but that seems no more ridiculous to me than a Resident Evil movie starring Milla Jovovich. And there are THREE of those abominations, with another on the way!
I was trying to think of an action movie that wasn't based on a book of any type. Rambo's out of the question, and The Matrix could kinda be a book, so I thought Die Hard. No idea that there was a book. I'd have gone with Caddyshack, but Family Guy did it.
@Video_Game_King: What would be more impressive is if we took the reverse approach. Let's get some more books based on video games out there. I think the world is now ready for the novelization of Geometry Wars.
" What the hell would the movie be about? There's not a lot in Metroid that could be made into a movie. It'd be like making The Novelization of Die Hard. "
Um....you know Die Hard is based on a book, right? "
lolololol one of the best forum pwnages I've seen for a while.
Hah, that's a laugh. Gunpei Yokoi would never rest in peace if the rumor is true. What an awful combination. Uwe Boll + Jessica Simpson + Metroid = ....IT JUST DON'T ADD UP!!!! Now that is why Uwe Boll is in my Douchebag list and My Villanous Cronies list.
This stuff reminds me of the time Boll spoke something about doing a Metal Gear Solid movie and Kojima almost immediately responded "No, FUCK NO, NEVER".
Log in to comment