Every game has become a 'podcast' game. Help?

Since buying a second screen several years ago I have become incapable of playing any game for more than a few minutes without a video or podcast playing on the second monitor. Since I use my TV as one of the monitors this also applies to console games. It's a fine idea, as I thought at the time, but it has become a problem. I spend more time looking for something to watch than anything else. It makes me lose focus and unable to fully enjoy my games. On the other hand, without it I can't keep my attention on a game and quickly look for a different game to play which also only lasts a few minutes, or I stop playing. It gives me anxiety for no logical reason, so I end up putting on a random giant bomb video.

So, yeah, it's become a problem and not a cool or efficient thing any more. I suspect there are a few people who also have this issue. Any advice? It's not the end of the world but freeing myself from needless anxiety would be a nice bonus.

Edit: A more succinct explanation I wrote as a comment - "To clarify, if I try playing a game without any secondary video or audio going on I can't enjoy or focus on a game. I feel a pull in my mind to have it there, coupled with anxiety. I'm doing it just to placate the compulsion/anxiety but then I can't really enjoy either thing because I can't multi task."

I have similar issues. I've also been diagnosed with ADHD, if that's something you've considered looking into.

I tend to use my phone as my extra screen. Doing that allows me to pause/quiet my extra content quickly and without affecting my game. It also allows me to keep more focus on my game as the screen is much smaller.

@bobeta: both of my brothers and my mother have ADHD, but I wasn't diagnosed. I do have aspergers.

Try finding a game where you really want to take in the story and/or the mood? Those are the games I don't want to "taint" by having background noise from podcasts/videos/tv, so I make sure I only play them when I can exclusively concentrate on them. I could never imagine playing a game like LiS with someone talking about wrestling or Taco Bell or poop tubes in the background.

@hans_maulwurf: That's the problem though. I don't mind it distracting me in No Man's Sky but I get really bad anxiety when playing something where I want to pay attention to the story or be immersed in the atmosphere unless I have something playing. It's getting in the way and it's not something I even want to do a lot of the time. I definitely played life is strange with something else on.

@alistercat: Yeah, sorry, I kinda realized shortly after I've posted it that this was kind of a "It hurts when I do this" -"Then don't do it"-non-advice.

@alistercat: Get rid of your second screen. Eventually the distraction of it will go away and you'll be able to enjoy games on their own again.

If I need to do something else while playing a game to keep enjoying it my conclusion is I dont enjoy the game enough to warrant spending time on it and I just stop playing it. Same goes for GB videos for me though, If its not interesting enough to me to hold my attention on its own its clearly not properly 'reaching' me anyways so why would I bother wasting time on it? It seems weird to me to justify spending time on stuff that doesnt fully interest me by doing other stuff at the same time that also doesnt really interest me. Those were the thoughts that led me to stop the constant multitasking. I totally used to play gameboy while watching tv allllll the time when I was little for example and told myself I enjoyed it but thinking back on it the only reason I did that was because I wasnt really allowed to play outside or with others a lot so all I really did was play gameboy while staring at the tv. Sometimes you teach yourself some behaviour to deal with stuff which might become less practical as time goes on and depending on how long you've kept it up it becomes harder to break with to the point were just thinking about it causes anxiety.

Sounds to me like the anxiety you are feeling is you feeling like you HAVE to keep playing games/watching videos even though you know you arent getting much out of either anymore. I realize this is assuming a lot and I hope you dont mind the semi armchair psyching hahaha. I've studied neurolinguistic programming for a while and stuff like this is super interesting to me. I dont really have any real concrete advice though. You probably know best what you are feeling and what you need atm yourself. Admitting or even seeing that is the hardest part most of the time though.

Hope my post isn't completely useless to you.

Edit: Oops I took so long to write this I didnt see your reaction to other people. Im about as ADD as they get btw :) and getting rid of the 2nd screen might help. I also had a facebook problem with needing to keep up and deleting my facebook worked like a charm :D

@lestephan: I would say that needing a distraction indicates not being interested, in a normal situation, but this is with every game (except 3DS and vita oddly enough). It's compulsive and anxiety driven. I definitely wouldn't call it multi tasking because I find that impossible, but it's soothing/comforting though I think that might just be the feeling of the anxiety going away. I have a similar problem with web pages and compulsively checking them even though nothing would have changed in 5 seconds, and I removed my facebook and twitter like you did which really helped though that was replaced by reddit and imgur which I like browsing even less.

Thank you for your thoughtful reply, though I do think I am certain of my interest in playing games and watching other content but I would like to do so separately and at different times rather than both at the same time because of compulsive behaviour which renders it all an exercise is misery.

@jesus_phish: Removing the second screen would be a good idea, but I just got a 1440 monitor and now my second screen is a HDTV where my consoles are hooked up. I can't really get rid of it, but I may try just unplugging it from my PC (though I'm likely to just plug it back in again).

@hans_maulwurf: It's OK, I took it as not understanding rather than being dismissive. My family are like Dan's dad when it comes to any problem "just don't do it". I feel that only works for people when they don't realise what the problem is.

@alistercat: I would say try unplug it for a while from your PC. If you're not using it for anything other than watching tv you're just creating a distraction for yourself.

I'm not sure what the problem is here. Is the issue that you can't get into games without some sort of video/podcast playing? That you feel like you're behaving compulsively?

You can try strategies like disconnecting the second monitor when you're playing a game you don't want to have a second screen going during, or setting a specific time you're going to play something and not allowing yourself to play anything else during that time, but that stuff seems extreme for something like video games.

I think it's pretty normal to have other stuff going during a video game. I'm trying to remember the last game I played through without any second screen experience and kind of drawing a blank. Even the best game soundtrack gets boring after awhile, and even the most story-driven games have lulls in them (I'm thinking of Uncharted 4, where I wouldn't put anything else on during story parts but definitely listened to podcasts during some of the longer climbing/shooting sequences.)

If this really bothers you I think the best thing to do is start setting aside small period where you force yourself to focus on the game only regardless of what you feel (E.G. "I am going to play this for 20 minutes with no other distraction or switching games no matter what") and see how that feels and whether it naturally transitions you to more focused gaming or brings out compulsions or what.

But as I said before, I'm not sure that this is worth doing for videogames. You enjoy them how you enjoy them, and a lot of people listen to other media while playing. I'm sure as hell not going to fly 20 minutes to some location in No Man's Sky without something else to distract me. If I was in a real space ship I'd think it would at least have a dang tape deck!

There are ways to work around anxiety like this. Have you read Dans book "Anxiety as an Ally"? In it he describes irrational anxiety such as this and details his coping strategies. It helped me somewhat with my own craziness, maybe it can help you too?

Remember the anxiety can't kill you, no matter how bad it feels, it will pass. The only constant is change and you can learn to have control over it. You can do this duder!

@bigsocrates: To clarify, if I try playing a game without any secondary video or audio going on I can't enjoy or focus on a game. I feel a pull in my mind to have it there, coupled with anxiety. I'm doing it just to placate the compulsion/anxiety but then I can't really enjoy either thing because I can't multi task. If it works for you, then that's good. It isn't a bad thing in itself. It's only a bad thing when it begins to cause problems like not enjoying anything and wasting my time. Forcing myself to go without it may work, but the thing that causes me to do it is compulsion fuelled by that anxiety, so fighting through that won't be easy. I have pretty bad depression and anxiety as it is, so this extra annoyance over something so trivial would be nice to get rid of.

If you feel your behaviour is compulsive and is stopping you from doing things you'd like to, talk to a professional!

@alistercat: If you can't multitask and don't seem to enjoy the second screen experience (which you don't) can I ask why you started doing it in the first place?

I used to have this problem, and still do, but to a lesser degree. I found I just had to force myself to play story heavy games, or atmospheric games without something else going on. After a while of doing this I adjusted. There's no quick fix for this, if you want it to change. Just good ole fashion discipline. Maybe just having one game that is good for podcasts that you allow yourself to play with one would help. Then when you got bored with whatever you could start playing that one with something on in the background.

I feel similar compulsions sometimes but not the anxiety associated with yours, so it probably won't be of any help, but I suppose a basic technique technique to focus completely could help. Try turning off the second monitor and the lights and put the game sound very loud, and embrace the anxious feeling. Do it for as long as you need to until it goes away.

I'm not a professional, but as far as I'm aware, anxiety is rooted in the same basic fear everyone goes through when facing the unknown, and the way to get rid of it is to face it head on. But as always, if you feel you're unable to do it and it makes you unhappy -- by all means, SEE A PROFESSIONAL.

@alistercat: Ok, reading this I'm pretty sure now, you REALLY need to go do something undigital and possibly social! I know it sucks when you have no motivation to come up with something else to do (especialy when depressed) but It SUPER sounds to me like your body/being is telling you to do something else with your life but your head just won't listen ;)

Could be wrong but I've totally been there and you sound like you're there now as well, sorry if I'm projecting, I'm trying to be as transparent as possible about where im coming from so you know whether you should ignore my advise or not :)

I always have something playing on my second monitor, even when i work (its pretty distracting though). The only time i don't have something on my second screen is when i play overwatch because of the attention it requires. I never seen this as a problem, most games have long boring parts in them and having something else to look at helps me.

I get it. I do/did the same thing a lot with legit podcast games (no story, mildly repetitive, etc..). Recently, I tried to do it with games like Uncharted 4 and suddenly I was like "what am I doing?" when I found myself pausing the podcast to hear cutscenes.

I can't speak for you but for me it stems of a feeling that I'm wasting my time, as if a well crafted video game is not enough to solely enjoy, that I need to squeeze in more media. I don't know how you can stop the feeling of anxiety though, maybe slowly lower in the volume of the podcast with each session or something until it's gone.

@bigsocrates: I used to like it. It started off with wanting a second screen for efficiency with work like Photoshop and video editing. Plus it let me watch videos while playing games with a lot of down time like Hearthstone. It's constant now though.

@alistercat: I had the exact same problem and I handled it the same when I was drink too much soda, I stopped. It sucked for awhile, it was a little weird, but then I suddenly realized I didn't miss it. I also recognize when games have podcast sections like Ratchet and Clank, once I understood what to do in the areas where you collect crystals, or the combat arenas I would listen to a podcast while I mopped up those parts but I made sure to turn off the podcast as soon as I went into a different section.

@citizencoffeecake: Yeah part of it definitely comes from feeling like I don't want to waste time. I don't think I've felt that a game isn't enough to keep my attention, but more that the amount of media out there is so overwhelming I need to cram as much in as I can so that I don't miss out. Something like that. I definitely had that problem during Uncharted 4, especially since the cutscenes were so good.

@lestephan: I should spend more time away from the PC in general, but I don't think that would solve the problem. I would still do it when I use the computer. It's not an issue of over exposure or boredom. After my diagnosis with aspergers I became comfortable with not being a social person and having a limited set of interests. It's fairly typical of people on the autism spectrum, and I had hated myself for not fitting in up to that point. Rather than abstaining I prefer to find solutions to particular problems, like this one, so I can continue to do what I enjoy and not pretend or force myself to do things I know I don't like. I feel like I would spend less time playing games if I can change this, because I would get more out of the time that I do spend with them rather than sensory overload.

I totally understand. The only thing I can say that works for me is just get in the mindset of "No, I'm just playing this game" and just do that. Sounds simple but really it's mental discipline. I have had this problem big time trust me but it went along with a lot of things I have done to achieve more mental discipline. I started meditating a while back and it goes along those lines really.

I understand the feelings of "missing out" or needing to see it all out there. But in the end, you need to sit back and see how you ACTUALLY feel about that. Like are you really enjoying all that media so much? I mean, you're sitting here writing a thread up about how it bugs you so clearly you are unhappy with it to some degree. Just get in the mindset of "I'm turning off this second monitor and that's that". I say that knowing it isn't so easy to do but it can help.

I've been fighting against this stuff lately by making sure to focus my attention more and also finally sitting down to just read a book for the first time in a while. For me it was motivated by overall feeling like that multi tasking time was not all that enjoyable and also often not actually relaxing, depending. Having constant stimulus is not a good thing. Fight those feelings of needing to see it all because I find the satisfaction gained is very hollow and overall distracting on my mental well being.

I have the opposite problem, with most games I can't concentrate on the game if I'm listening to a podcast.

This is interesting because I hate having second screens, because I always have to pause whatever's on there when a story beat pops up on my game. I recommend slowly "inching" away from or lowering the volume on your second screen so that eventually it becomes pointless. Removing it completely right away could solve the problem, but might be harder to deal with if this is an anxiety problem.

i play every 3ds/vita game with the sound off and usually listening to a podcast or music. i probably shouldn't do this with persona 4 though,

This is definitely my deal. It exponentially increased when I got majorly sucked into MLB The Show's Diamond Dynasty mode over the past two/three months, there are SO many boxes to check and challenges to complete that I find an enjoyable challenge, but it's also just a sports game in which I've already heard the dialogue hundreds if not thousands of times so I was able to bang out a fairly lengthy podcast and Giantbomb backlog to the point I'm mostly up to date on everything.

But it's become an issue in the sense that I then can't or won't play a game like The Witcher 3, or the Telltale Batman game, even when I want to play them because I can't find a video to watch or podcast to listen to if I'm going to play those games. I'll also stall out on my DD progress spending 20 minutes looking for some fucking video or podcast I can listen to if all my current lines are tapped; I've never been able to justify watching a TV show or movie on my laptop while playing video games, which is kind of weird since I'll often browse the internet while watching a show or movie even if I've never seen it before.

@alistercat:Sorry, I keep feeling the need to react.

I understand you'd rather just learn to deal with it. But sometimes walking away from something for a bit can give new insight, thats all, not saying you should quit forever. Just long enough to make you realize what it all might bring and/or take from you and if its all worth it. I agree just walking away from it completely would maybe be missing the point.

And artisanbread' piece about how you ACTUALLY feel about it all is kinda what I ment except my mind immediately goes to needing to disconnect from the issue for a sec for that sitting back to be able to happen. Thats a weird assumption on my part I guess.

Anyways, I wish you the best duder! I'll try to sent some extra positivity your way ^^ I know it doesnt solve much but who knows right? ( its AT LEAST slightly better than nothing)

@alistercat: So does the anxiety stem from not having enough different material to listen to while playing the game (e.g. you're out of podcasts, nothing interesting on Netflix), or just the feeling of need to do so? If the former, have you tried music? Maybe a Spotify or similar streaming music service would be good? Spotify, at least, also has a lot of spoken-word stuff, with a selection of audiobooks and stand-up comedy routines. You could also try to curate your list on Netflix (or, again, similar streaming service) in advance, and just play it in order. That way, you don't have to worry about picking something, but just start off from the point at which you left off. Or, maybe just start listening to a lot more podcasts?

I play most games like that, but once in a while I will sit down and immerse myself fully in a big story heavy game, and to me that makes the experience feel even more retarding. I am currently looking forward to doing so with Deus Ex, which (hopefully) unlocks in 5 minutes :)

Are you like that with movies? Hit up Netflix, shut everything else off, pick something interesting and roll with it. Then apply that mindset to a game that also interests you.

I play a lot of games with something going on in the background too. I get a bit anxious as well when it's just me sitting here playing a game, to the point where I'm actively less inclined to play games I'd wanna play without anything else in the background. For me I think a lot of it stems from not wanting the moment in more story driven games to potentionally be ruined by it not being the right time because of mood or circumstance.

That also kind of applies to movies for me, including the indecisiveness that comes from having so many options of what to play/watch. I've found the start's the most important thing for me. Just pick something and roll with it. Sometimes there's an urge to do other things while letting the movie play that I follow through for a bit, and then rewind and go back to sticking to the movie. Othertimes however I'm just genuinely fuckin bored and it's actually just that kinda movie that I'll half-watch while doing something else.

I've been trying to do the same thing with games, with some success. Important for me because I found myself not having those Mass Effect/Demon's Souls moments where I'm really drawn into a game as much anymore. Overwatch and stuff like that are fun, but they often leave me feeling like I'm not actually finishing anything. But the stuff I would get that feeling from I'm always so indecisive to start or anxious while playing. It's just a mind game.

I think people with this issue (myself included big time) and things along similar lines, dealing with impulsiveness, needing stimulation, and getting sucked into wasting or unsatisfactory ways to spend you time need to really reflect on the end result of how your actions make you feel. Like if at the end when you spend time like this, you feel unsatisfied or disappointed or unhappy, you need to really realize that and keep that in the front of your thinking the next time you are about to start getting into that same situation. It's all about mental discipline then.

I can relate it to meditation, which for me isn't really fun to do in itself but when I do it I feel great afterwards and day to day. Sometimes I can feel good and then get out of the habit of meditation and then I see my mood suffer. So I always try to really keep how it positively affects me as a result in my mind because the act itself is not fun. It's not an exact correlation but in the end it's about mental discipline and considering how things make you feel.

I used to be that way in my twenties. I always had something playing on my second monitor. Once I got into my late twenties and early thirties, I found it difficult to do a good job if I was distracted. Now in my late thirties, between looking at nursing homes and shaking my fist at clouds, I almost feel like I'm frozen if I'm trying to write while something else is going on. It's not that I can't think multi-threaded; I play the piano, sing, read, keep tempo with other performers and correct tuning, at the same time. I can work on four different dishes at the same time. But ask me to read a paragraph and listen to music at the same time and... nope!

@lestephan: I think I have pretty good perspective on it, as I'm aware of the issue and how it is affecting me. Stepping away is harder than it should be because I have health issues going on and haven't been able to do much else for a while. I should read more. In fact, after what you said I read one of my favourite books for an hour to cool off.

@theht: I can't sit and watch a movie either on Netflix. I used to be better at that but now I have to be playing a game or browsing the internet while it's on. Even something I love like Arrested Development. That's why I don't think it's a game thing, or an interest thing. It might have come from a time when I was really worried about not being efficient and now it's just compulsive behaviour, and as someone with aspergers who is very much about routine changing that behaviour causes the anxiety. It's one possibility. Just looking for a way to change it that won't cause me to freak out because I can't reason with anxiety.

@ralphmoustaccio: I can't explain the anxiety, but it happens when I'm not watching a thing while playing. Not finding something happens regularly, and is one of the main problems with feeling like I need to watch something because I can spend a long time looking for something but isn't itself the source of the anxiety. A time wasting effect of it. I will be happy to get back that time if I can shake this issue. Music might fill the need to have some other sound going on but I think that interferes with the atmosphere of a game almost as much. It might be a lighter option as I won't feel like I'm missing out on whatever video I usually put on in the background.

@nordicgamer: did you mean rewarding?

I feel you AlisterCat.

I don't think I have much useful, applicable, advice, but I can tell you I've experienced the same challenges. There was no silver bullet solution, only raw effort. I make very conscious, consistant efforts to do only one thing at a time. There's no secret to it, just self-policing. I create blocks of time for myself when it gets really bad. For example, last night I set a 45 minute timer on my phone and turned on SFV. I refused to allow myself to do anything outside SFV until the timer clicked. While in these contcenrated modes, I always play with headphones, lights off, and really try to get immersed or sucked into the game.

As a reverse, I create multi-tasking binge sessions where it's just raw madness. PS4 and PC on at the same time? Two games going? Done. Cell phone playing a podcast at the same time? Done. Silent movie running on another PC screen too? Also done.

I am on a pretty good flow these days, and need only make a conscious decision about what kind of "Time" I am spending with myself.

I think your problem is more of a symptom of modern gaming than any personal issue. The last game that had me turn off all other media was Withcer 3, which had a well acted and presented story, and the world was immersive as hell. Fallout 4 has a terribly weak story and a short loop of a radio station, solidifying itself as a podcast game. Deus Ex thrives on exploration and choice, with a fair concept but uninteresting execution for story, PODCAST TIME. I yearn for the days of lore when games had no share buttons or social media integration. I had no mulitask going when playing Bully, or GTA 4. Nothing in the background during Dragon Age Origins, or the first Mass Effect. Games have been far too high concept low immersion lately, and that is a problem.

For me it's actually a few things.

One, I assume (since I've seen you on these forums for years now) that you're getting older and as you do your time becomes more valuable to you (as I'm sure has already been mentioned so I won't get into it too much).

As you get older you start to notice things that are bad. Some things may get to you more than other things. This can really make a game drag which can make you want to do something else.

Also, at least it seems this way to me, a lot of games these days tend to be a lot less engaging. There are still great games, but there's so many games, of varying quality and styles, that a lot of the time some large part of a game you get is not that engaging even if other smaller parts of it are really interesting (such as the games mechanics or maybe the story is really good). For me at least it tends to leave me liking one aspect of the game but the rest of it really drags.

When this happens to me for long stretches I tend to feel like maybe I've just outgrown games. Then I play an older game (either one I've played before that I already like or one I haven't that I end up liking) and I realize I still love playing video games. The problem isn't my want or desire to play them it's that the way they tend to be made now is a lot less engaging to me. Great games are still great games, though.

I feel your pain. I like playing certain games while I listen to podcasts (MMOs and Diablo type games are perfect for that), but I have found I don't have to with every game. If I do for games that should be engaging and I should be invested in the world but I find myself not caring I've decided they're just bad games because they are missing something that keeps me engaged in the world and I'm only liking some part of it rather than all of it. Sometimes that is ok, and other times I move on.

This is, of course, just my experience. Everyone's mileage will vary. For me it doesn't have anything to do with my second monitor. I've had a second monitor for almost a decade now and that's just a requirement because of all the things I can do with more than one monitor at a time. It doesn't really affect me beyond that. I don't have to listen to a podcast while I play games because of the other monitor. There are other reasons why I would.

I'm kind of similar in that I need something to listen to in the background if I'm just grinding in a game or the game I'm playing is purely gameplay with minimal or no story. That's just an issue I have in general where I need to distract myself from getting too far inside my own head. Unfortunately, I don't really feel anxiety if I am or am not listening to something else so I can't necessarily relate. However, I think you need to find what works best for you. I know that for me, using headphones keeps me from being distracted from whatever I'm playing. Perhaps changing the scenery might help? Moving your console or even just your monitor out of reach of distractions may make it easier? Another option might be to turn on something you've seen before. If I need to throw something on in the background I like to go to Load our Last Souls. I've watched it a billion times and if I'm playing a game and don't pay attention to the video, I don't really care, I've seen it so many times already.

I can't say what works for me will work for you, but as someone who struggles with anxiety on a daily basis, I get it. Good luck and I hope you find something that helps even just a little.