My Worst Moment

I appreciate the apology for saying that word, but I wonder why this word is especially bad as apposed to others. There are many times when I listen to the podcast where I head ableist and semi misogynistic remarks that bother me, but I say nothing because I don't have the emotional energy to fight an uphill battle on forums. Don't get me wrong, the word Ryan said is very heinous, I just don't see why this word is apologized for while other degrading remarks on other types of people are okay. The word he used does warrant an apology that is for sure, I'm just saying why this word and not others?

The staff at Giant Bomb say bigoted things all the time, even going so far as to defend the misogynistic comment scandal around the fighting games community a while back. Why is this so different it warranted an apology? And by defend i don't mean all of them, just some of them.

I'm sorry if I broke any rules unintentionally with this post. I am still kind of new.

It's also kind of weird that people use "lame" as an insult all the time. I sometimes wonder what people with a bad limp think about that.

It happens, dude. Patrick was extra aggressive, Brad was extra peevish, Will was ezcetra foolish and you were extra blue with the language. The lantern run brings out the worst in everyone. That's kind of why they're awesome, but I guess that's not really the correct observation to make at the moment.

Honestly, the fact you immediately apologized probably raised you up in some estimations. If the impressionable kids watching the stream finally get that the other, other f-bomb is something absolutely verboten, maybe the FPS online servers of the world will become a better place.

Ryan <3

It's also kind of weird that people use "lame" as an insult all the time. I sometimes wonder what people with a bad limp think about that.

I didn't watch and don't know what was said, but this video sums up my thoughts.

Keep calm and carry on, duder.

I know the feeling. Sometimes words just come out of your mouth, and you immediately wonder what messed up part of your brain thought that was a good idea. It takes a lot to actually apologize for it, and I commend you for that.

I absolutely hate that word, and I'm glad so many people on this site agree.

As a queer I've even let it slip a couple times. Context is key to understanding slip ups like this. Thanks for being so forthright about this.

i think anyone who was offended to begin with is silly. Ryan never was nor will ever be the kind of person to offend groups of people. honestly i see no reason for anyone to be offended. its all about context imo. but then again i never care about what people say.

@sashimi_biscut: I don't think they necessarily defended that skeevy fighting game dude, just some of his thought processes specifically made about the e sports stuff; they made no defense against his blatant misogyny.

and I agree with you, even though they're probably one of the better groups with regard to language like this, they still have a few trouble spots. I was personally pretty offended when Jeff and Vinny did a deep voiced drag queen thing during the otomedius QL. it's just hard to stop using every other kind of derogatory word (I still use lame on occasion); though I think retarded should be the next one to go.

I still dot think he did anything wrong, that word doesn't mean the same thug it did years ago.

But Ryan David disagrees and apologized like a stand up gentleman. No matter what your stance is on words, it's hard to argue that he's not one classy man.

@slowbird said:

It's also kind of weird that people use "lame" as an insult all the time. I sometimes wonder what people with a bad limp think about that.

And the Galgun Happy Hour? And "from the fine makers of c**t"?

I still dot think he did anything wrong, that word doesn't mean the same thug it did years ago.

@AxleFGK said:

i think anyone who was offended to begin with is silly. Ryan never was nor will ever be the kind of person to offend groups of people. honestly i see no reason for anyone to be offended. its all about context imo. but then again i never care about what people say.

It's not that people feel like Ryan is personally attacking them, it's just every time the word is used in casual conversation (especially by people as influential as the GB crew), it just promotes more use. It's a terrible word with bad connotations, and the more that people get called out on it, the less it's going to be said, and that's a good thing.

You're classier than most to even go this far and be a man about your missteps. The stream was a great piece of content and I hope it goes up as uncut as possible even though I understand you'd might want to cut it down slightly.

As far as my strictly personal opinion is concerned - you didn't do anything wrong other than drop an overused curseword in a moment of excitement and frustration. I don't know a single gamer who hasn't done something similar. How much of a fucking pussy do you have to be to get offended at something like this? How do you grow up on this planet without being called every fucking name in the book anyway? No matter your predilections. I'd say, don't worry about it!

@Animasta said:

I was personally pretty offended when Jeff and Vinny did a deep voiced drag queen thing during the otomedius QL.

Aww, I missed that? It sounds hilarious.

Ryan we still love you. Thanks for being professional about this though.

Stay classy Ryan

All is forgiven!

@The_Reflection said:

I still dot think he did anything wrong, that word doesn't mean the same thug it did years ago.

Yes it does.

@cyraxible said:

As a queer I've even let it slip a couple times. Context is key to understanding slip ups like this. Thanks for being so forthright about this.

Exactly how I feel, it's all about context. Glad to see other people see this as well. Thank you for your input as someone who isn't straight.

Its fine.

Shit happens, dude. No worries.

I'm not discussing Ryan's apology directly, if he feels the need to apologize that is all fine and well. Speaking about the broader subject, anyone who is offended by a freaking word needs to grow thicker skin. There are far worse things in the world to fret over then a few letters. If anyone is so emotionally fragile as to burst into tears when they see or hear a "bad" word is going to have a rough time in life. Be a stronger human being then that. Worry about real problems. Don't get all hurt over something, that in the end, is meaningless. If you don't like something, brush it off, consider whoever it was a dick and move on with your life.

What did he say anyway, can't someone just post what he said for those of us who missed the livestream.

Good on you Ryan. This helps root out those words so it's not swept under the rug. Keep on keepin' on.

@Brunchies: He used a hurtful slur used towards homosexuals.

All of the people in this thread saying that it's not offensive and doesn't hold power clearly have a narrow world view. You can't decide for others if a pejorative is going to offend. Do you really think that as a majority you can decide what's offensive to the minority?

@august said:

@The_Reflection said:

I still dot think he did anything wrong, that word doesn't mean the same thug it did years ago.

Ask a gay kid growing up in a rural part of the midwest what that word means. It still means the same fucking thing.

Like two months ago near where I live two gay men were beaten with baseball bats while being called that multiple times. The obliviousness required to make a comment like that (it doesn't mean the same thing it used to) astounds me.

Mistakes happen <3

So ridiculous ryan, You have no need to apologize. You were saying it at a damn game. People need to grow some fucking balls and stop being offended at every little thing.

The horrors of team gameplay, and the beauty of non-reality-show unscripted entertainment. That's what this episode makes me think about.

I think most of us have done enough multiplayer to know that gamers can say unfortunate stuff in moments of passion. Stay amazing.

I wasn't offended when I heard, more just amazed that it had come out of Ryan's mouth. Ryan's immediate apology and this more than make up for it, it was a heat of the moment thing and it shouldn't go any further than this. I'm impressed with how Ryan is owning it and dealing with it.

@The_Reflection: tell that to these fucking wastes of human existence http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Westboro_Baptist_Church The word has more baggage than it's worth.

@Davin said:

I'm not discussing Ryan's apology directly, if he feels the need to apologize that is all fine and well. Speaking about the broader subject, anyone who is offended by a freaking word needs to grow thicker skin. There are far worse things in the world to fret over then a few letters. If anyone is so emotionally fragile as to burst into tears when they see or hear a "bad" word is going to have a rough time in life. Be a stronger human being then that. Worry about real problems. Don't get all hurt over something, in the end, is meaningless. If you don't like something, brush it off, consider whoever it was a dick and move on with your life.

It sounds like you don't know what verbal abuse is truly capable of.

@Davin said:

I'm not discussing Ryan's apology directly, if he feels the need to apologize that is all fine and well. Speaking about the broader subject, anyone who is offended by a freaking word needs to grow thicker skin. There are far worse things in the world to fret over then a few letters. If anyone is so emotionally fragile as to burst into tears when they see or hear a "bad" word is going to have a rough time in life. Be a stronger human being then that. Worry about real problems. Don't get all hurt over something, in the end, is meaningless. If you don't like something, brush it off, consider whoever it was a dick and move on with your life.

Hello what is privilege and bigotry? Please help!

I'm glad to see Ryan acknowledge the importance and impact of the language he used, and I'm really dismayed to see many commenters completely dismiss it. Ryan's not kidding, this is a big fuck up. I don't doubt the sincerity of his apology, not at all. But to see so many people jump to praising him for apologizing without a thought for WHY this was a big fuck up is kind of disheartening.

It seems like Ryan does get it, and I hope that we as a community get it as well. This is language that has real power to wound people, and its use, especially casually, should be intolerable to a mature community.

@Davin: Alright let's say you're called that throughout your life, in anger and in hate. You've been threatened or possibly been physically harmed while being called that word. Think that might mean something more to you at that point? Just think about other people's lives for a second.

It's obvious he meant nothing by it, and if anyone thinks he did is mistaken.

@cyraxible said:

Do you really think that as a majority you can decide what's offensive to the minority?

Yes.

No worries man! Shit happens. You are still the bees knees!

@Davin said:

I'm not discussing Ryan's apology directly, if he feels the need to apologize that is all fine and well. Speaking about the broader subject, anyone who is offended by a freaking word needs to grow thicker skin. There are far worse things in the world to fret over then a few letters. If anyone is so emotionally fragile as to burst into tears when they see or hear a "bad" word is going to have a rough time in life. Be a stronger human being then that. Worry about real problems. Don't get all hurt over something, in the end, is meaningless. If you don't like something, brush it off, consider whoever it was a dick and move on with your life.

It's a group with a long and continued history of persecution. The word speaks to a much larger issue. It isn't just a 'word'. But Ryan, like all of us, grew up in a culture where that word was considered acceptable outside of the social injustices that inhibit this group. So he went back on old habits and made a mistake. He owned his mistake and that's that. So, to me, Ryan is free of persecution. But it isn't just a word. It's social injustice, segregation, and unfair persecution.

You cool, bro.

@NancyDrewFan123 said:

@Brunchies: He used a hurtful slur used towards homosexuals.

So the other f word, didn't south park do an episode on people being offended by that word 2 or so years ago. I mean I can see being offended if it was truly hateful but if its just a slip up like that, I think it should have been ignored and everyone should have moved on. Of course I don't think I'm in any kind of position to make a call on that so take what I say with a grain of salt.

Kudos Ryan.

I knew you were sincere when you apologised immediately, but still I am so glad you did this.

You're exactly the stand up chap we thought you were, in spite of that little wobble. Which happens to us all occasionally.

@CustomOtto: *sigh* Don't have to be so realistic about it...

@Brunchies said:

@NancyDrewFan123 said:

@Brunchies: He used a hurtful slur used towards homosexuals.

So the other f word, didn't south park do an episode on people being offended by that word 2 or so years ago. I mean I can see being offended if it was truly hateful but if its just a slip up like that, I think it should have been ignored and everyone should have moved on. Of course I don't think I'm in any kind of position to make a call on that so take what I say with a grain of salt.

south park is a comedy show, you should not take any life lessons from it

nor louis CK in fact

I think the best thing the Giant Bomb, and the gaming, community can do to support Ryan is to take what he said seriously. HE clearly believes what he did was wrong and that there as no excuse for it. Instead of trying to argue him out of his sincere and thoughtful apology, take it at face value and be glad he did the right thing.

If you thought that what Ryan did was classy, emulate it! The next time you mess up and say something hurtful and inappropriate, apologize without reservation. It makes all the difference. Even if in your heart of hearts, you don't care, suck it up. Don't try and tell someone why they weren't really offended. Don't try to make it "less bad" by saying you didn't really mean it in a bad way. Apologize WITHOUT RESERVATION and you'll be doing a favor to people who have it harder than you and probably be able to walk away without a big argument.

@JasonR86 said:

@Davin said:

I'm not discussing Ryan's apology directly, if he feels the need to apologize that is all fine and well. Speaking about the broader subject, anyone who is offended by a freaking word needs to grow thicker skin. There are far worse things in the world to fret over then a few letters. If anyone is so emotionally fragile as to burst into tears when they see or hear a "bad" word is going to have a rough time in life. Be a stronger human being then that. Worry about real problems. Don't get all hurt over something, in the end, is meaningless. If you don't like something, brush it off, consider whoever it was a dick and move on with your life.

It's a group with a long and continued history of persecution. The word speaks to a much larger issue. It isn't just a 'word'. But Ryan, like all of us, grew up in a culture where that word was considered acceptable outside of the social injustices that inhibit this group. So he went back on old habits and made a mistake. He owned his mistake and that's that. So, to me, Ryan is free of persecution. But it isn't just a word. It's social injustice, segregation, and unfair persecution.

Until 2003 it was still illegal in 14 states (including my own) for two gay men to have sex. It's hilarious that people seem to think that all homophobia has magically disappeared and it's okay to use these words because... south park louis c.k. words evolve

@NancyDrewFan123 said:

I think the best thing the GIant Bomb, and the gaming, community can do to support Ryan is to take what he said seriously. HE clearly believes what he did was wrong and that there as no excuse for it. Instead of trying to argue him out of his sincere and thoughtful apologize, take it at face value and be glad he did the right thing.

If you thought that what Ryan did was classy, emulate it! The next time you mess up and say something hurtful and inappropriate, apologize without reservation. It makes all the difference. Even if in your heart of hearts, you don't care, suck it up. Don't try and tell someone why they weren't really offended. Don't try to make it "less bad" by saying they didn't really mean it. Apologize WITHOUT RESERVATION and you'll be doing a favor to people who have it harder than you and probably be able to walk away without a big argument.

+1

Stop telling the man why he didn't fuck up - he knows he did, and pretty badly. Just support him in becoming a better man, and use it to become better people yourselves.