Add a sentence to the story thread

I did one of these for a project in high school and wanted to see how it went on here. 
Everyone add only one sentence to the story. No more than that. And you can add another sentence only after 3 other people have added one.
Ill start this off here:
 
It was a cold day outside when i first noticed i had the power to bring trees to life.

Than I died. 

No one mourned. 

No one cried.

My ghost haunted all those who mocked me.  

Then I came back as a zombie.

well i see this failed miserably. Thanks for all those who spent the time and effort to post. Id also like to thank the academy.

Will get locked.

or would it?

This, children, is the tale of Billiam the Unmourned Zombie, Reanimator of Trees.

He was a wonderful man, whose warm smile overshadowed the fact that he never wore anything from the waist down.

The only thing warmer than his smile were the feelings he had while observing kids coming to and leaving school from the comfort of his minivan.

In accordance with the prophecy. 

He stroked his mustache thoughtfully.

And came up with an idea.

"I will destroy all the unicorns!"

He grabbed 2 boys, Trevor and Bryan, from the school, pulled them into his minivan, and sped off to Unicornia.

but he could not find any unicorns so he moved on to children

He slowly closed his eyes and went back to the past that was his childhood. He was on his knees and covered in blood. He looked up and saw his mother impaled upon a crystalline horn. Her expression of terror and the sheets of blood that dripped from her dress and the unicorn's mocking laugh would haunt his waking memory for all eternity.  THE FUCKING END.

Enraged at the inhumanity of it all he donned his trench coat and steped into 1888 London.

He removed his trench coat in favor of a more stylish track suit.

But as he soon found out, the tracksuit held a dark secret.

He had become Dr. Tracksuit.

the evil mad scientist who experiments on small children, attempting to make an army of tiny unicorn killers!

  By day he wore the tracksuit stylishly... by night... he wore clashing pants.

His arch nemesis, The RZA challenged him to a rooftop duel, for the fates of all the unicorn children.

Then Dr. Tracksuit ran away for the fear he would suffer the same death as his mother.

Then he remembered he was already a freaking zombie, so it was highly unlikely that that would happen.

But he remembered that zombies could die again, as evidenced by Dead Rising 2.

and he trembled at the the word "drillbucket" not only because it was the most gruesome porn magazine know to zombie kind but also because its the only thing that can kill that which is already dead.

penis

"Penis". He repeated the word several times, new feelings emerging from within whilst his mind wandered down phallic twists and turns. "Penis" he said again.

"How comes this thread still isn't locked yet while so many like it have been locked before?"  Wondered Billiam's little sister, Ziana, while surfing Giant Bomb on her iMac.

at that moment he used his tree re-animating powers to make his penis the size of a redwood

and he died the end.

His penis become king of the world!  But then...

A bigger, meaner, and stronger penis challenged him to a duel...

he saw a dark and twisted shape emerging from over the mountains and new it could be none other than his arch-nemesis.

He suddenly remarked:
 
@mutha3 said:

" penis "

alpha-omega-supreme penis!

HE proclaimesd, as he marched toward sthe mountain spweing forth profanities, which caused the other arch-nemsesis penis to shrinnk in size and disappear into his oppenients' crotch, when he finally saw the trute worth in himself that was always there to begin with.

Then he had the urge to shit.

the end.

But the story was not over. Billiam did indeed have to produce fecal matter. And he shat to his hearts content. He then noticed a strange toad...

I eated a cookie!

I got locked for this thread.

While Billiam was getting up, he suddenly made a shocking discovery. The toad had a miniture tracksuit on. However, by the time Billiam the Zombie noticed this, it was too late. The new Dr. Tracksuit, now in the form of a toad, had eyes glowing as bright as embers with rage.