Are you a virgin gamer? Not anymore thanks to these videos!

//www.eurogamer.net/articles/2012-09-19-uk-dating-site-shag-a-gamer-gives-youtube-tips-to-virgin-gamers |

So basically a website called date a gamer made these videos to help gamers who are still virgins get laid! They include helpful tips such as - "If lose your cool and hammer away at any old button, you're not going to win any trophies." and "If he can feel my vibe and fill my bandwidth, it could turn into a physical relationship,". These combined with random boob shots and ass slaps makes these videos hilariously bad.

I mean, fuck, what has the world come to?

Ugh that Shag a Gamer site has some horrible pictures on it. Fuck.

This story makes me sad at the world!

Why are you posting this? That Jay444111 guy should be posting this! Where is he?! Are you Jay?!?!?!?!?

CONSPIRACY!!!!!1!!!!11!!!!1!!!

Why are you posting this? That Jay444111 guy should be posting this! Where is he?! Are you Jay?!?!?!?!?

CONSPIRACY!!!!!1!!!!11!!!!1!!!

*shrugs* It's someone exploiting some stereotypical view of a demographic in a desperate attempt to achieve relevance... you know, just like 95% of all media these days.

@NekuSakuraba said:

@awesomeusername

Why are you posting this? That Jay444111 guy should be posting this! Where is he?! Are you Jay?!?!?!?!?

CONSPIRACY!!!!!1!!!!11!!!!1!!!

I thought it was so bad it was hilarious. And you don't ever, EVER compare me to.... Him. :P

I had to stop watching the video. I couldn't take how bad it was, that girl talked with no emotion!

Also, I apologize for that. That was the crazy conspiracy side of me talking.

I think you live under a rock if leaving virginity is somewhere on your priority list.

This is pretty coo- I mean terrible why would anyone sign up for this. I certainly won't.

Not anymore thanks to the Giant Bomb!

Buy your "subscription" today!

It's bad enough that Eurogamer has given them attention twice. All you're doing posting this is giving them more.

@psylah said:

Not anymore thanks to the Giant Bomb!

Buy your "subscription" today!

Do you hate having to find girls on your own? And what about all those expensive dates? Giant Bomb got me laid, and it can do the same for you! Only $59.99 a year! It's so easy to buy! Call now!

(Wish I could've found the Brad version of this...)

@ck1nd said:

I think you live under a rock if leaving virginity is somewhere on your priority list.

What?

Ughhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.

Finally!

Someone is talking bout' girls in a way I can understand!

So that's where I've been going wrong as soon as a girl looks at me I just hammer away at any old button and demand a trophy.

I agree. This is a Jay press piece

Bloody nonsense.
Its really not hard to be shy, a gamer and still have a active love/sex life but it takes effort, just like getting your S-ranks.

a fat italian plumber popped my cherry back in the 80's.

Bloody nonsense.
Its really not hard to be shy, a gamer and still have a active love/sex life but it takes effort, just like getting your S-ranks.

i stamped my v card 5 years ago

@Phatmac said:

Ughhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.

Sounds like you've lost your virginity as you posted that.

ANOTHER SATISFIED CUSTOMER.

Thank god, here I was thinking I'd be alone forever.

@banishedsoul1 said:

i stamped my v card 5 years ago

Congratulations?

Kill. Kill. Kill.

That is all I hear and see.

I've already had sex with 16 nerds!

@psylah said:

@Phatmac said:

Ughhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.

Sounds like you've lost your virginity as you posted that.

ANOTHER SATISFIED CUSTOMER.

That's pure pleasure you're hearing right there.

@RenMcKormack said:

@psylah said:

@Phatmac said:

Ughhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.

Sounds like you've lost your virginity as you posted that.

ANOTHER SATISFIED CUSTOMER.

That's pure pleasure you're hearing right there.

Erm, I don't recommend signing up.

I need to go wash.

There's pictures of vaginas every where! :S

I've made love to women.

I have not made love to women.

Nasty.

who in here HASN'T made love on will smith?

@GunslingerPanda said:

Erm, I don't recommend signing up.

I need to go wash.

There's pictures of vaginas every where! :S

I shouldn't have looked!!!

@banishedsoul1 said:

i stamped my v card 5 years ago

Congratulations?

Well this is fantastic.

What the hell did I just watch?

@DuskVamp said:

@GunslingerPanda said:

Erm, I don't recommend signing up.

I need to go wash.

There's pictures of vaginas every where! :S

I shouldn't have looked!!!

It's okay, I have mind bleach!

Why would people post pictures of nothing but their genitals on the internet!?

tips for the morning after include ... that burning feeling is just the res sickness... and there is no cure for rrod, but the symptoms

are treat able.

@GunslingerPanda said:

@DuskVamp said:

@GunslingerPanda said:

Erm, I don't recommend signing up.

I need to go wash.

There's pictures of vaginas every where! :S

I shouldn't have looked!!!

It's okay, I have mind bleach!

Why would people post pictures of nothing but their genitals on the internet!?

Because it's either that or go out and actually try to meet a nice person, which is crazy.

@Aronman789 said:

@GunslingerPanda said:

@DuskVamp said:

@GunslingerPanda said:

Erm, I don't recommend signing up.

I need to go wash.

There's pictures of vaginas every where! :S

I shouldn't have looked!!!

It's okay, I have mind bleach!

Why would people post pictures of nothing but their genitals on the internet!?

Because it's either that or go out and actually try to meet a nice person, which is crazy.

WHY ARE YOU WEARING AFROMAN'S FACE.

@Yummylee: To fuck with people, what other reason is there?

What?! Virgin? ... ha... I don't... even know what to say... to that... heh... erm....

I don't care about trophies anyway, Achievements is where it's at.

FINALLY.

ACHIEVEMENT UNLOCKED:

250G - Hand jibbers at Asian message parlor

@psylah said:

Not anymore thanks to the Giant Bomb!

Buy your "subscription" today!

Fuck Ryan Davis!

"Shine on, you crazy Brits."

"If he can feel my vibe and fill my bandwidth, it could turn into a physical relationship."

Oh yeah, talk to me like that, you dirty girl! I got a hard on just by reading this sentence.

...

This is terrible.