How Do You Deal With Derogatory Language In The Workplace?

I'm fortunate enough to not hear that sort of talk most of the time, but when I hear that sort of nasty biz spoken aloud I tend to say "yo that's fucked up, dude" or something along those lines (it depends on how familiar I am with the person speaking. A more casual approach tends to work for me). Generally folk aren't even really thinking about what they're saying, and I try to give people the benefit of the doubt. The few times that I've heard things repeated, I've gone to HR over it (one of the engineers is Iranian and there was some toxic shit said about him for a while, and I felt awful about it).

Thanks, I wasn't entirely aware what was acceptable and what wasn't. I'll keep that in mind for next time.

I had a co-worker that would refer to a transgender client of ours as an inanimate object. It was pretty horrendous.

I ended up quitting that job. Everyone there was pretty awful. Boss didn't care about any of the things said, telling me that it's all a "harmless joke".

So happy none of this shit happens at my workplace! Everyone gets along shockingly well :)

Ha, this topic is kinda funny to me.

I've only ever worked blue collar and or minimum wage jobs and lets just say that if you're not being....uh...saucy, you're doing it wrong. I've never worked anywhere with an HR department :D

I just want to say that I disagree with the post being edited by mods. Slurs should be quoted verbatim, not sanitised or censored.

"This is really bad, and you should learn the lesson not to use this language. I won't actually tell you what it is, but trust me."

Be careful, criticizing the mods in any way can get you banned.

@clonedzero: No, you're just being mean. I just wanted my opinion to be known as I think it's an important part of the topic and I don't expect mod policies to change... and that's OK.

@clonedzero said:

I don't think that's true, though I do wonder what the reasoning is behind not being allowed to use those words if we're using a quotation. I'll follow the rules because I do like posting here, but it'd be nice to get some clarification from the moderation team.

I'm gonna say talk about it but don't let your emotions get the better of you while doing it. What I mean is, don't go all out or get confrontational unless you think that would be the only way to get to a person. If you've known these people long enough, try tailoring your methods to something which you think they'll respond to. One of my best friends used to make casual rape jokes, even in the presence of his girlfriend, and at least one female friend who had experienced assault. People had confronted him a few times about it, but he is generally a very defensive person and goes on guard against even slight criticism. What I usually did was just reply with a small groan and a sort of 'come on, man' type phrase, never expecting anything to come from it. To my surprise, it actually worked, and at least when I'm around he cuts out joking about stuff like that pretty much entirely. Ideally he would've taken the hint and cut it out with everyone, but honestly knowing him the small amount that I do, that he changed his habits even slightly is surprising.

However, it all depends on how well you know these people. If you don't really hang out with them outside of work and only know them nowadays through this job, it might be better to just avoid talking to these people in a non-work-related context. I definitely don't think you should just 'grin and bear it' by any stretch, but the avenue you take ultimately depends on how important this matter is to you. If it is seriously making you uncomfortable and you have to have regular contact with these people then you should definitely bring this up to either your company's HR service or an outside HR/labor relations professional and ask them what to do.

@haz: I can only imagine that Giantbomb/Gamespot has been hurting lately with the latest Twitter fiasco. The crew has stated that there are changes that will be implemented, and this may be one of them. It's the type of mentality of not giving the people ammo to light a fire that just was. If people can mock and criticize a company over a hiring choice based completely on conjecture, then one can only imagine someone could get offended by a post in a forum that used words offensive to them.

I've been pretty lucky with this kinda stuff at my job, because of the sheer diversity there. So I haven't really had to deal with any of this kinda stuff. Anytime it has happened, either one of us would call it out on the guy or more likely HR would get involved.

I think this bit sums it all up nicely.

"Anytime you do anything remotely sensitive, heartwarming, anything that's gonna make you more of a loving, caring, individual... Immediately, all your guy friends suggest that maybe, just maybe, you wanna suck a dick! It's brutal! Even if you do something smart!"

So is something like this allowed? Where the slur is technically only on the video's title?

What do you mean by "visible minorities"?

How do you deal with it?

You tell someone about it. That's it.

If someone wants to walk around using that kind of language, kick them directly in the dick for me and tell them to stop being such ignorant human beings.

Race, ethnicity....pretty much anything you can confirm by seeing. At least if I'm understanding Canadian politics correctly.

Out of curiosity, does that extend to blasphemy, or does "don't you care about other people's feelings?" not extend to religious matters?

I think the question was about the phrasing, and who "these guys" and "they" refers to, which is confusing for me as well. Are "these guys" the visible minorities who are defending their language and are being viewed as hypocritical? Are "they" not minorities, but they're ignoring the harm their language could be doing?

Using substitution:

The sad part is [my coworkers] are visible minorities yet they continue to [use derogatory language directed at other minorities] because ... "I don't give power to the words, I'm not racist/homophobic"

The sad part is [the people being talked about] are visible minorities yet [my white coworkers] continue to use this language because ... "I don't give power to the words, I'm not racist/homophobic"

Either could be true with the way the sentence is worded.

I realized I should have clarified. My co-workers are visible minorities, yet continue to use derogatory language directed at other minorities. That's another reason I'm pretty disappointed by it, they should know better.

Yeah, I realized a while ago the whole "You're a minority, so you know what it feels like to be generalized, which means you probably wouldn't generalize anyone else" never really seems to work out that way.

SOME minorities steal things, and SOME minorities will rob you on the street. This is statistical fact, and the same goes for any race. However, if you have someone who distrusts minorities and considers them all to be criminals, you clearly are dealing with a racist asshole, wouldn't you agree? I sure would. They're making a hateful and harmful generalization.

Now, think about how SOME police officers are these racist assholes, and how SOME police officers distrust minorities. Because whenever a minority views this as how "the police" are, that is also a generalization. It's still a form of prejudice. One relates to race and the other an occupation, but both are examples of one human being distrusting another and prejudging someone's character.

People are human, and various in groups / out groups are just a basic part of humanity. Unfortunately, some people get downright hateful and distrusting in that area, which frequently leads to all sorts of hypocrisy.

I enjoy a fair amount of rap music, but there sure can be a lot of anti-gay / anti-police messages to those songs, sometimes.

@spaceinsomniac: i think you got to the point i was trying to make better.most of the people that have a problem saying those slurs or rascist stuff,also dont have a problem using gods name in vane,or cussing in general.which imo is a double standard.

In the army you go with the flow until people get bored, nobody cares about individual opinions or feelings here

Why should that even happen in the workplace? Shit like that isn't even tolerated where I work...AT ALL!

Haven't worked in that kind of environment for a couple years, but every job I've had up to that was a job where people said really dumb stuff like that. I honestly can't remember how I reacted, but I know I didn't take part. I'm pretty sure I'd just kind of find ways to continue the conversation without addressing the slur that was used. Probably the coward's way out, but I had to work with these people and didn't want them to hate me.

Working in game QA, I've encountered a fair amount of this because of the laid back, entry level job environment. I just ignore it, but it's very irritating.

I work for a trucking company: Bad language and causual homophobia are par for the course. Eventually, you just ignore it.

I don't. Unless its pejudiced (against races, cultures, creeds, religion, or sexual orientation) I don't really care. I don't believe in bad words beyond the prejudice/racist kinds.

Most people don't use prejudiced words in normal conversations around town (or work) and everything is fine. As far as I'm concerned shit, fuck, piss, and so on are normal english language with definitions and everything.

Everybody uses them, there's no reason to consider them derogatory. It's not derogatory just because it's used.

I don't need to cuss to insult you- I promise.

I have truly learned the meaning of in the minority while being employed by the companies I have worked for. I work with this women whom is very vocal about her conquests. It really came to a boil when she was in a relationship with this lady in marketing. One of the guys I work with directly would always have a comment describing in great detail about his wishful voyeurism. I tried to talk to the both of them and it did little good. She just talks about it as loud as always a little farther from my desk now. In this case I reason it away with knowing that she is starved for attention and trying to fill some kind of hole inside her. She is not doing this to directly insult me.

If it keeps bothering you, contact HR. What you are talking about is in what is called protected categories. Unless you work in some mom and pop tiny business they will put an immediate stop to it. Where it gets tricky is if your issue does not fall into a protected category.