Just had a huge fight with my girlfriend...might break up.

My chums and I were down at the local speakeasy and talking to a couple of flirts, when my lady friend walks in with a pally of mine: Cedric.

She asks me why I'm talking to these fems and I said look dollface, this here girl's the owner's canary, she just performed and she's taking a gentleman's minute and just throwing down a good ol' rot gut.

She asked me why I put a sawbuck in her dress and I said darl, me and my friends are a bunch of alligators and we dug the way she squeezed the cat's organ. Anyway she storms out of the place without even giving me a honey cooler and I'm left standing there like a wet smack in the middle of this busy gin mill.

Oh, hi story I remember from 10 years ago, how are you? :D

Reading this made me think of max payne.

@Flawed_System said:

Looks like your squeeze skipped the jimmy because she thought them hoofers were all hotsy-totsy from the giggle water. Best take the moll and tell the flirts to scram, tell her "Hey doll, I'm the Big Cheese around here, them bluenosers ain't got nothing. You're the cat's meow...a real darb!"

Don't do this to me. You'll just make me think of Daveshire.

All the people I know reckon that Mickey D's is the cat's meow of all things beef and fry. I have a friend called Cookie and he's a real half portion, but he tells me he caught an employee making a real slugburger if you know what I mean. I took my friend there last night, she's a real dollface but don't get her onto the dance floor, she's an absolute cement mixer.

Anyway, what's your opinion of Mickey D's? Do you think the food there is the gentleman's pyjamas or simply all wet?

... fuckin' ay.

Yeee-Uh.

Cool story bro.

Hot story bro.

Video games

I'll miss this thread when it gets locked.

I enjoyed this piece of profane poetry.

@UKSamwise: Damn, you beat me to it!

@UKSamwise: Ah man! I was going to do that!

To the OP: you reap what you sow, dude.

*nods sagely*

@Powderwombat: Hopefully what you described here didn't happen, and all is well. Either way, I hope you talk like that all the time (serious). Felt like I was in Brick for a moment there. Nice jargon usage, hehe.

@falserelic said:

Reading this made me think of max payne.

If Max were from the South and not NY :D

@pantzing_nome said:

I'll miss this thread when it gets locked.

No you won't.