So why do you think nice guys have trouble with girls?

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RJay_64

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#1  Edited By RJay_64

Or do they?  Most people would agree that they do.  If so, what do you think the problem with nice guys is?

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penguindust

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#2  Edited By penguindust

Because they don't make enough money.

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bed

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#3  Edited By bed

being shy? 

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Romination

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#4  Edited By Romination

They're not bad boys.
They also get more easily crammed into a 'just friends' category

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RavioliSumo

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#5  Edited By RavioliSumo

Nice is used too much these days. What everyone really means is "recluse".

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AjaxNV

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#6  Edited By AjaxNV

Not handsome (generally)?

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lovecreep

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#7  Edited By lovecreep

because women are shallow (just an opinion i have gained from experince)
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Dr_VonBoogie

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#8  Edited By Dr_VonBoogie
@Romination said:
" They're not bad boys. "
right on the money
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Bionicicide

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#9  Edited By Bionicicide

It's all about confidence to them.

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bacongames

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#10  Edited By bacongames

Unless they're young, dumb, barroom trash (or all three), I don't see any girl objecting to a "nice" guy.  I mean that's such a broad term that to me means "not a dirt-bag".  I'm gonna assume most guys are nice so I don't have any fear that nice guys will finish last in the boning race.

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trophyhunter

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#11  Edited By trophyhunter

because woman like being treated like crap

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cap123

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#12  Edited By cap123

'Nice guys' are normally just social cowards, you need to have the confidence to make fun of women because they love it. They say they don't like it, so you'd think nice guys would be knee deep in the good stuff, but they really love it and nice guys get fooled by it.  You need the confidence to push yourself onto a women as well, rather than be a nice guy and just wait it out. I'm not saying rape is in order, but a girl likes a guy with confidence and nothing says confidence like 'YOU WANT ME YOU JUST DON'T KNOW IT YET'.
 
At times i can be way too nice and i know this only too well.

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TheGodPoet

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#13  Edited By TheGodPoet

I read in an article that girls are naturally attracted to the bad boys. Don't remember the specifics but it was described as something that's hurting the human race. It was needed at one point but now it's pointless.

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IcySandman

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#14  Edited By IcySandman

Lack of self-esteem/confidence.

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HitmanAgent47

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#15  Edited By HitmanAgent47

They don't act like a man, it's that simple. When your nice, your hiding yourself being a man because you are trying to chiverious, or chivery. Unlike jerks who acts like a man and shows confidence. I'm not saying you have to act like a jerk, at least try to be confident if your nice, don't hide your desires and feelings, or confidence to act nice. You don't want to be lumped with the average fustrated chump category which gets you in the friend zone automatically.

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bigsmoke77

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#16  Edited By bigsmoke77

Women are naturally attracted to tough guys that would be able to protect their offspring but then they finally realize they need someone who can support them in the modern world. Just like how men like Cleavage because it shows they would be able to support their offspring.

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KaosAngel

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#17  Edited By KaosAngel

I used to be shy as fuck in HS and never got any girls to notice me.  
 
Once I hit College and Tokyo, I grew 2 nuts and manned up.  Took up Kendo and hit second dan, I was proud of myself.  I talked to girls, opened up, smacked a few bitches in the ass and let them know I'm a decent guy like Harvey Dent.   
 
It's not you're being nice, it's that girls don't feel protected around nice guys and see they aren't willing to fight for what's right. 
 
Women are like wolves. If you want a wolf, you have to trap it. Snare it. Then to keep it happy, you have to tame it. Feed it, care for it. Lovingly. The way an animal deserves. And my animal deserves a lot of loving.    

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turbo_toaster

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#18  Edited By turbo_toaster
@HitmanAgent47: 
 
Yep. Pretty much.
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NTM

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#19  Edited By NTM

@RJay_64:
That depends on how old you are and what the girl's like. I would say you're totally wrong, but society can be effed up. Younger girls like the punks, older girls want someone that's caring and affectionate 'cause it makes them comfortable and safe, while women will always have a side in them that likes the bad boy in a guy which at most times is more a fantasy for them than an actuality. If the girl loves you though, she'll probably put some sort of bad boy view on you naturally for the more intimate moments :P. Then there are some women that just have problems, it's not the guys fault. This kinda sounds like a thread made from someone that doesn't talk to many girls ha ha ha. If you're asking how to get a girl, maybe you need to talk to one and feel comfortable being yourself. Being "nice" is nothing compared to other things.

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j_drace

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#20  Edited By j_drace
@cap123 said:

" 'Nice guys' are normally just social cowards, you need to have the confidence to make fun of women because they love it. They say they don't like it, so you'd think nice guys would be knee deep in the good stuff, but they really love it and nice guys get fooled by it.  You need the confidence to push yourself onto a women as well, rather than be a nice guy and just wait it out. I'm not saying rape is in order, but a girl likes a guy with confidence and nothing says confidence like 'YOU WANT ME YOU JUST DON'T KNOW IT YET'.  At times i can be way too nice and i know this only too well. "

and because they like the bad boys who treat them like shit and are hard to please.  It's a feeling of wanting something that you can't have.  I can say this with from personal experience because me and my best friend in high school where the typical rich kids and just ran our mouths like no other and had confidence levels that were so high that people mistook it for arrogance and even though people would give us a lot of shit about it they loved it especially the girls.  I'm not saying a nice guy can't pick up the hotties, but it doesn't happen often.
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jkz

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#21  Edited By jkz
@HitmanAgent47 said:
"

They don't act like a man, it's that simple. When your nice, your hiding yourself being a man because you are trying to chiverious, or chivery. Unlike jerks who acts like a man and shows confidence.

"
This is a revelation: I had no idea that being a man was analogous to being a douche bag! Thanks!
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wfolse1

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#22  Edited By wfolse1

I consider myself a nice dude and have a fantastic girlfriend.  Wait it out man, that bad boy thing doesn't last too long.

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hai2u

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#23  Edited By hai2u

women likes to date bad boys but its the nice guys that they will end up marrying.

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Dom

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#24  Edited By Dom

Nice guys finish last

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Daouzin

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#25  Edited By Daouzin
@TranceAddix said:

" Well, girls like nice guys, but they don't like push-overs. If you're with a woman she expects you to stand your ground, and not succumb to her every wish :) "

Yup, I think this is pretty much it. I think their are a number of scientific papers written about this and it has something to do with a woman's genetic inclination to prefer guys that appear as an Alpha Male. Of course it's not all genetic, but I think what that really breaks down to is confidence. Nice guys I know, at least the "nice guy" type the OP is suggesting, tend to bendover backwards for girls. Girls get turned off by this because it suggests a lack of self worth. Guys that come off as jerks prove the opposite because their actions essentially suggest that they can get any girl.  
 
From my own experiences girls just want someone that is playful, someone they can tease and be teased by. Nice guys tend to only get teased. Which is no fun. I know I've had a lot more luck since I've learned how to act like a jerk at key moments. Of course you also have to not-actually be a jerk, cause then the girl will go find someone that you know, isn't a dick. 
 
Learn the balancing act.  
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Hot_Karl

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#26  Edited By Hot_Karl

There's a difference between being the "good" guy and being the "nice" guy. Every (sane) girl out there wants to be with the good guy in the end. The nice guy is not the same as the good guy however. 
 
The nice guy is too afraid to ever argue with his girl, so he just goes along with whatever she might say. The nice guy will go out of his way, every single time, to please his girl- while that's a nice fantasy, all it does is show that he's a lesser person than she is. He's clingy. He's a doormat.  He has no confidence and no backbone, which makes him safe and boring. He believes that he can buy her love literally or with compliments. Girls get that stuff all the time- again, it's boring. 
 
The good guy is never afraid to speak his beliefs or challenge his girl and make her think. He isn't afraid to have a different opinion or idea, and the girl respects him for that (even if she doesn't necessarily agree with him). Girls like to be challenged and mentally stimulated, and the good guy knows this is key to having a good relationship. He is mysterious, he has his own life, and he surprises the girl with his own dominance and independence. This is attractive. He's not an asshole, but he isn't afraid to stand his ground, ever. 
 
I won't get into the whole bad boy thing, but he's basically the good guy without any of the "good" aspects. He's confident but cocky, he's an asshole, he's never scared but he's a total heartbreaker. Mysterious- yes. A jerk, also yes.  
 
Only girls with super-low self esteem will find themselves wanting the bad boys. All other girls just want the good guy. Only a girl without a best girl friend (or a "best gay") wants a nice guy in her life.

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HitmanAgent47

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#27  Edited By HitmanAgent47
@jukezypoo: Another alternative to being a jerk is to be confident. It's just jerks are confident ppl because they don't care what ppl thinks and females interprets that as confidence. It's really a mistake however a women will probally think it's better than some guy who doesn't have any balls trying to be overly nice. They simply don't show any features of being a man, they hide their desires and to females they are totally boringing, that's going against the gender role of a man. Those kinds of guys might lose out on getting any, however later in life when the women gets burnt enough by playas for example, they began to finally date and marry the nice guy. It's not that the nice guy improved his game, it's really the women has changed her perception because she's constantly burned by the playa who they wish would start a relationship with them, yet won't. You don't have to be a douche, just confident and that's good enough, there are alot of normal ppl who can get decent looking women who doesn't care about that kind of stuff who doesn't have to ack like a jerk and cares about a relationship. I envy those ppl, they seem to have everything in the world that's important.
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dbz1995

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#28  Edited By dbz1995

Truely nice guys think that if they ask her out and she says no, then she'll be worried about how you (the guy) would be taking it. Which is against the good guy rule.
 
@Dom said:

" Nice guys finish last "

Only if they want to.
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#29  Edited By Hot_Karl
@bigsmoke77 said:
" Just like how men like Cleavage because it shows they would be able to support their offspring. "
Usually when I see a pair of breasts, the first thing that comes into my mind isn't "I should have babies with that girl because then my kids will get all the nutrition they need from her breast milk, obviously."
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#30  Edited By skrutop
@HitmanAgent47 said:
"

They don't act like a man, it's that simple. When your nice, your hiding yourself being a man because you are trying to chiverious, or chivery. Unlike jerks who acts like a man and shows confidence.

"
Right on.  You can be chivalrous and nice, but the key is to not act like a pussy.  Women can tell if you're going to let them string you along, and they will if you give them the opening.  Eventually that leads to "just friends," and you're screwed.  So be a gentleman, but be a fucking man at the same time.
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Yummylee

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#31  Edited By Yummylee
@VinceNotVance said:
" @bigsmoke77 said:
" Just like how men like Cleavage because it shows they would be able to support their offspring. "
Usually when I see a pair of breasts, the first thing that comes into my mind isn't "I should have babies with that girl because then my kids will get all the nutrition they need from her breast milk, obviously." "

More it's "I should have babies with that girl because then I will get all the nutrition I need from her breast milk''
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Icemael

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#32  Edited By Icemael

When people say "nice guys", they usually mean "nice, shy guys". And that right there's the problem.

For the record, I'm one of those nice, shy guys.

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recroulette

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#33  Edited By recroulette

There's a fine line between being nice and being a doormat.

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mutha3

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#34  Edited By mutha3

Most ''nice guys'' are just weak manipulative bastards that don't have the guts to establish interest in a girl and instead try and creepily force their way into a girl's live through friendship.
 
Of course, when they're little scheme inevitably fails, they always cry about the world being so cruel and them being ''too nice''.
 
Also: ''women like beig treated liek shit LOLOLOLOL''
 
No, they don't. You're just creepy.

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iam3green

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#35  Edited By iam3green

girls are shallow so don't know what they want. they usually go wtih guys that are going to treat them like crap. they complain to the guy they put them in friend zone.

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Organicalistic_

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#36  Edited By Organicalistic_
@bigsmoke77: too scientific
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mutha3

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#37  Edited By mutha3
@iam3green said:
" girls are shallow so don't know what they want. they usually go wtih guys that are going to treat them like crap. they complain to the guy they put them in friend zone. "
....
 
@mutha3 said:
  Of course, when they're little scheme inevitably fails, they always cry about the world being so cruel and them being ''too nice''.
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Icemael

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#38  Edited By Icemael
@mutha3 said:
" Most ''nice guys'' are just weak manipulative bastards that don't have the guts to establish interest in a girl and instead try and creepily force their way into a girl's live.  Of course, when they're little scheme inevitably fails, they always cry about the world being so cruel and them being ''too nice''. "
I don't know what kind of people you've been hanging with, but where I come from, people like that are known as "weak, manipulative, creepy bastards who pretend to be nice guys". Actual "nice guys" are a different thing entirely.
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ClownDetective

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#39  Edited By ClownDetective

Because when guys can't get girls they assume it's cause they're too 'nice'.

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@TranceAddix said:
" Well, girls like nice guys, but they don't like push-overs. If you're with a woman she expects you to stand your ground, and not succumb to her every wish :) "
Mostly this. Not necessarily nice guys (because you can be nice without desperately trying to satisfy her) but if you try to cater to their every need they'll get bored. Although it should be said that there are exceptions. Always.
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raegunz_

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#41  Edited By raegunz_
@lovecreep said:
" because women are shallow (just an opinion i have gained from experince) "
not any more shallow than men. 
just sayin'.
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mutha3

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#42  Edited By mutha3
@Icemael said:

" @mutha3 said:

" Most ''nice guys'' are just weak manipulative bastards that don't have the guts to establish interest in a girl and instead try and creepily force their way into a girl's live.  Of course, when they're little scheme inevitably fails, they always cry about the world being so cruel and them being ''too nice''. "

I don't know what kind of people you've been hanging with, but where I come from, people like that are known as "weak, manipulative, creepy bastards who pretend to be nice guys". Actual "nice guys" are a different thing entirely. "
Actually being nice does not put you at a disadvantage when hitting on women.
 
At all.
 
Creepy behavior does. And people who often claim that they are ''too nice'''usually are weak manipulative bastards who exhibit it.
 
EDIT:
 
 @VinceNotVance said:
" @Icemael said:
" @mutha3 said:
" Most ''nice guys'' are just weak manipulative bastards that don't have the guts to establish interest in a girl and instead try and creepily force their way into a girl's live.  Of course, when they're little scheme inevitably fails, they always cry about the world being so cruel and them being ''too nice''. "
I don't know what kind of people you've been hanging with, but where I come from, people like that are known as "weak, manipulative, creepy bastards who pretend to be nice guys". Actual "nice guys" are a different thing entirely. "
Again, use of "nice guys" here is wrong.  You want to say "good guys". Come on guys, I know some of you have been in this situation before. You're super-nice to a girl you like, and you keep telling yourself "maybe if I act like a best friend to her, maybe if I shower her with gifts, maybe if I become her confidante and do favors for her like a girl friend would, maybe then she'll fall in love with me!" That's manipulative, believe it or not. You're acting like someone you're not in order to get with this girl.   "

This.
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Hot_Karl

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#43  Edited By Hot_Karl
@Icemael said:
" @mutha3 said:
" Most ''nice guys'' are just weak manipulative bastards that don't have the guts to establish interest in a girl and instead try and creepily force their way into a girl's live.  Of course, when they're little scheme inevitably fails, they always cry about the world being so cruel and them being ''too nice''. "
I don't know what kind of people you've been hanging with, but where I come from, people like that are known as "weak, manipulative, creepy bastards who pretend to be nice guys". Actual "nice guys" are a different thing entirely. "
Again, use of "nice guys" here is wrong.  You want to say "good guys". Come on guys, I know some of you have been in this situation before. You're super-nice to a girl you like, and you keep telling yourself "maybe if I act like a best friend to her, maybe if I shower her with gifts, maybe if I become her confidante and do favors for her like a girl friend would, maybe then she'll fall in love with me!" That's manipulative, believe it or not. You're acting like someone you're not in order to get with this girl.  
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Ryax

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#44  Edited By Ryax

depends on how nice they are. there is flirting nice, and there is just being a considerate person. 

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Icemael

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#45  Edited By Icemael
@mutha3 said:
" @Icemael said:
" @mutha3 said:
" Most ''nice guys'' are just weak manipulative bastards that don't have the guts to establish interest in a girl and instead try and creepily force their way into a girl's live.  Of course, when they're little scheme inevitably fails, they always cry about the world being so cruel and them being ''too nice''. "
I don't know what kind of people you've been hanging with, but where I come from, people like that are known as "weak, manipulative, creepy bastards who pretend to be nice guys". Actual "nice guys" are a different thing entirely. "
Actually being nice does not put you at a disadvantage when hitting on women.  At all."
No, but as I said in my other post, people usually mean "nice, shy guys" when they say "nice guys". And being shy does put you at a disadvantage when hitting on women, because if you're shy, chances are you're too nervous to even try.
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ryanwho

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#46  Edited By ryanwho

Its like this. Nice people are needy and accommodating. The perception of being with a person like that is they're gaining something from being with you, so they're working for it. Meanwhile, you're not. So obviously if this person is working so hard to accommodate you, you're the more valued person in the relationship therefore you can do better. If someone's not needy and accommodating, the perception is they think they can do better than you so they're not working for it, so you are the one who would be gaining by being in the relationship, so this person is more attractive than the nice guy. Think about it like going to the market. If something is value priced all the time, its percieved to be cheap (that's the nice guy), its NOT perceived to be a good deal but a product of a lower quality with a price to match. If something is high priced, its of a higher quality. And if something is high priced but on a limited time sale, its a higher quality and a great value. That's where you need to be. Right now you're being cheap, and doing the opposite won't help either because complete disinterest just means they'll walk right by and not even consider. I hope this clumsy poorly conceived analogy helps.

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MetalGearSunny

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#47  Edited By MetalGearSunny
@AjayRaz said:
" being shy?  "
<---------------------------
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#48  Edited By JJWeatherman
@Dom said:

" Nice guys finish last "

 
  I love this video.
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#49  Edited By Pinworm45

Women already have a pussy and they rarely like it; why would they want another one?

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mutha3

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#50  Edited By mutha3
@Icemael said:

" @mutha3 said:

" @Icemael said:

" @mutha3 said:
" Most ''nice guys'' are just weak manipulative bastards that don't have the guts to establish interest in a girl and instead try and creepily force their way into a girl's live.  Of course, when they're little scheme inevitably fails, they always cry about the world being so cruel and them being ''too nice''. "
I don't know what kind of people you've been hanging with, but where I come from, people like that are known as "weak, manipulative, creepy bastards who pretend to be nice guys". Actual "nice guys" are a different thing entirely. "
Actually being nice does not put you at a disadvantage when hitting on women.  At all."
No, but as I said in my other post, people usually mean "nice, shy guys" when they say "nice guys". And being shy does put you at a disadvantage when hitting on women, because if you're shy, chances are you're too nervous to even try. "
Right.
 
But when you proceed to go and befriend a women just to get closer to her, listen to her complaints and being ''just friends'' only to get a vague chance at getting together with her:
 
That's not shy, its manipulative.