Twenty big dog run, no bones about it: Let's get healthy!

I've always thought New Year's resolutions are pretty silly, but this year especially there's a much greater sense of urgency for change - a combination of the enthusiasm we collectively feel to distance ourselves from the last 12 months, with a desperate optimism that comes from knowing things need to get better.

I currently live in Melbourne which, as of writing this blog, was home to the longest lockdown in the world. In our second wave of 2020 we spent 110 consecutive days pretty much locked in our homes; Masks were mandatory in all public places, all non-essential businesses were shut, you could not visit other private residences unless it was to administer care to elderly or sick relatives, and the state government even went so far as to limit the amount of time you could spend outdoors to 1 hour a day, for exercise or food only, and no more than 5km from your home. I supported all these decisions but, as I was living alone at the time, it meant 3+ months of total isolation in a country on the opposite side of the world from my family. When Australians lock shit down they don't fuck about.

Unfortunately one of the early casualties of lockdown was the gyms. I've gone through phases of working out throughout most of my adult life. In my mid twenties I would casually lift weights once or twice a week with friends, but that was driven by a desire to be social rather than to be healthy. I paid for a personal trainer for a year to make sure my technique was good and to help teach me some more structured exercise routines, but after a year I didn't feel any stronger or healthier so it seemed like a waste of money. But if I'm really honest with myself, the reason I made so little progress was because my heart wasn't really in it. Any progress I could have potentially made was undermined by poor diet and life choices - in between workouts my exercise was minimal, my nutrition non existent, and the full extent of the lifestyle changes I made were limited to drinking vodka over beer. When the gyms were closed in lockdown what I felt, honestly, was relief; finally I had an excuse not to go. I could sit on my ass and eat pizza and play videogames and nobody could judge me for doing anything else. I live alone, so there was nobody to prompt me to go outside. I would make token efforts at exercise - an occasional jog around the park, purchasing a Ring Fit for my switch (soon covered in dust), and buying fresh vegetables which would more often than not slowly go bad before I found the enthusiasm to cook anything with them. I went full hermit, and honestly it's a little upsetting to me how easy that was.

By November 2020, when the lockdown was finally over, I had put on about 5kg's and felt noticeably heavier. I had convinced myself that because I was wearing the same clothes that I was still in roughly the same shape - and this is broadly true. My waist is the same size, but the weight was loaded onto my gut; I have a dad-bod now. So as soon as the gym's re-opened I was first in line. I wanted to try something different from lifting weights at my own pace, so I signed up for a crossfit style gym which exclusively offers hour long classes throughout the day. I'm pretty sure it was one of the best decisions I've ever made. I finally feel like I'm getting a well rounded workout, with a focus on cardio, weights, resistance training and just enough peer pressure from the people around me to push myself to keep going. My fitbit tracks which heart rate zones I'm in, so I can quantify exactly how hard I'm exercising and encourage myself each class to do better. I started out going to two classes a week, but this didn't seem enough; It felt like an echo of my mid-twenties, where I would push myself just enough to plateau - I wasn't getting any worse, but I wasn't feeling any fitter either. So I increased my classes to three times a week, and started paying for high-protein meal-prep kits, a workaround to streamline the nutrition chunk of my new active health drive. And now, several weeks later, I'm both feeling and seeing the difference.

One of the weird things about working out is, and this will probably be eye-rollingly obvious to anyone who already has a fit and active lifestyle but has eluded me for my entire adult life, the more you invest (time/money/etc) the more inclined you are to self-regulate and reinforce those choices. You're less likely to go for a beer on wednesday night if you know you have a workout thursday morning. You're less likely to buy sugary snacks at the supermarket when you're spending so much time carefully cultivating a complimentary nutritious diet. For a long time I dismissed counting calories as extremely try-hard, but when you're getting an accurate weekly breakdown from your fitbit of how many calories you're burning through you really don't want to undermine all that work you've done. And I think part of this, the most important part, is the psychological mindset that comes from frequently working out - when you work out only twice a week there's too much time in between to get into trouble. If you're a few days away from your next workout you're more likely to cave to pressure and eat a little bit more, go for a couple of beers, or even find an excuse to wriggle out of the workout altogether. I know everyone is different but for me I've discovered that the key to staying healthy is momentum - you need to exercise often enough that you're always mindful of the next one. It's like water-skiing; if you stop then you sink.

It's weird how one positive change lays the foundation for others. I've started cooking again - wanting greater control over what I'm eating and when. I bought a blender so I can make protein smoothies, and buy fresh fruit twice a week to mix them in. I'm sleeping better - my body is physically fucking exhausted all the time, which is a different exhaustion from emotional or psychological. These days I hit the bed and I'm out like a light.

So 2021, or Twenty Big Dog Run, No Bones About It if you're a McElboys fan, is off to a strong start for me. I've signed up for a local volleyball league and I'm extremely tempted to foster a dog from a shelter now that lockdown has ended here. I'm going to ride this wave as far as it will take me.

If you've made any positive healthy lifestyle resolutions or changes, let me know; I feel like it's time to take another crack at meditating even though it's never particularly worked for me in the past, but I'm open to other ideas as well.

Thanks For Reading

Love Sweep

The curious thing about self regulation that you touch on is that it can manifest in different ways. A few years ago I went through a similar phase of suddenly just not being happy with the trajectory my body was headed. At the time I was in my early 30's and started seeing a gut beginning to accumulate. I've generally been a small skinny guy all my life so being a small skinny guy with a big beer belly was not something I wanted to entertain at the age of 30. I also thought that getting in shape would maybe do something for my self esteem as well.

So began several years of exercise. I chose running as I just wanted intense cardio and because all throughout my life I had flirted with the sport but had never been successful at it. First and foremost came the diet which brought on it's own level of self discipline. Counting calories is actually very educational and I think everyone should go through a phase of doing so at least once in their lives. I was completely oblivious to the caloric values of certain foods that I always thought were a "light snack" and no big deal. When you realize a single Snickers candy bar is worth 30 minutes of running you start to look at the world differently. After a lot of perseverance I was able to finally break through the wall and get long runs under my belt eventually doing 12k workouts 3 times a week without breaking much of a sweat. Each time I saw myself break new records I was hyped up to keep going and see how much further I can push myself.

Which brings me to the original point of self-enforcment. As you said, it's a lot less enticing to open a bag of chips when you're fully aware of the effort it will take to burn it. Once you do lose weight and you do get in good shape you're in a very real way tied to that lifestyle. I ran every two days, rain, snow, wind or scorching heat for three years straight. I ran in terrible weather conditions at times because I felt anxiety about losing progress and about gaining the kilograms I've worked so had to reduce. Running in particular is a thankless sport where it takes a long time to build up stamina but it only takes a few missed workouts to start seeing that stamina drain. You can run for three years nonstop but you stop running for 2 weeks and you're suddenly starting to struggle on a workout that was effortless before. In a very real way I started feeling sort of trapped in this lifestyle. I had purchased new clothes, had sized down significantly, and was very much aware that if I stopped the strict diet and constant exercise a lot of that stuff would end up in a closet.

Eventually I had to start slowing myself down because that sort of lifestyle was unsustainable or at least, not a fun way to live. The pandemic put a stop to it completely as I don't like running in a mask and no gyms are open. Most importantly though I kind of came to terms with not feeling guilty because I'm not exercising. I still maintain a healthier diet although not as restrictive as in prior years and that goes a long way in keeping you from bloating up. So I'm curious what is your take on it? I know that in my pursuit I sort of lost myself to it all and became a bit obsessive and that probably has a lot to do with my nature. Do you feel like now that you have finally broken through that you're suddenly locked in?

@humanity: I'm still a long way from being where I want to be - I'm making progress but it's slow. I guess I'll have to see how I feel about it once I get to a point where I'm more comfortable with the way I look and feel. I expect at some stage I'll get fed up with constantly having to go to the same gym and doing the same workouts, but that's why I'm trying to pivot to a more team-based sport like volleyball or tennis (which I used to play regularly) - if I can refocus on a team based sport then the workouts become more productive as they're actually for something, rather than just to stop myself from feeling like a beached whale. Shame isn't a particularly healthy motivator long term :P

I wish it was Twenty-Heaven so we could get right with Christ

I have stopped drinking for January and am going to try and get back on this Peloton. The last half of December was rough in terms of habits!

Yeah, I can definitely relate to a lot that's written here. My journey with fitness has been a never-ending cycle of on-again off-again for the last 7 or 8 years. I've finally dialed it in recently with the purchase of a bike (running was just causing way too many injuries) which has revolutionized the whole thing for me, but it's still a struggle sometimes. I wish we had enough people to start a big Strava or Zwift group. That'd be rad.

Nice idea giving meditation another go by the way. A few years ago I used to be really good and really consistent at it. Nowadays I can't even make it through 5 minutes! Somehow that's proven way harder than working out for me.

@zoofame: I feel like it's too early for me to even think about taking a break, and while I'm anxious about burnout or hitting a wall it doesn't feel like it's an immediate issue. The reality is, i'm sure that some external factor will prompt me to take a break at some point - I'll have to move house, or country, or I'll go on holiday for a few weeks and break the pattern. There will be another lockdown, the gym (which is conveniently right across the street from my apartment) will close, or they'll restructure in a way I don't like. But for now the planets are aligned and I'm just trying to make the most of it.

It's kind of a run-based rogue-like where your progression is in gaining experience and muscle memory so that you can fly through the earlier stages a little easier on the next go around.

That's a nice way to think about it! I'm currently trying to keep the thought of jumping to spike a volleyball in my head whenever I have to do any squats or leg-related exercises. I find it easier to push myself when there's a purpose to it rather than just arbitrary exercise.

@rorie: I also stopped drinking for January, but it's incredibly hard here as it's the summer and there's no lockdown. My friends host boozy picnics in the park on a weekly basis. So far I've been making my excuses and sticking to mineral water, but after complaining so much about being locked up at home I don't want to not go out and relax with the few friends I have here.