Am I the only asshole here that is hearing the Shoemaker EVERTIME Cole speaks? I did a forum search, but nothing came up. I can't be the only one.

Yes

Cole doesn't say "Ehhhh, yeah but" as nearly as many times as Bradley Shoecrafter does.

Am I the only asshole here

Nope. The two don't sound similar at all to me.  
 
But I bet the next time I play the game, I'll think of Brad, and then get angry at you. 

Brantley Schumacher says nein!

Bradleyson Shoebaker does not sound like Cole Phelps.

Brafton Studebaker does not a Cole Phelps make.

Hearing Bradley everytime Cole Speaks only makes the game better.