Otacon, where am I?
THIS REVIEW HAS SOME MODERATE SPOILERS.
The MIddle East
- Otacon: Snake, you're in the Middle East. You're surrounded by good guys. There are bad guys. Snake, shoot the bad guys.
- Snake: But my gun's jammed.
- Otacon: Snake, you just made me sit through a three-minute monlogue about ID Tag this and ID Tag that. Do I really have to explain this again?
- Snake: Oh, yeah, it's the future now.
- Otacon: Snake, you need to head north quick! I suggest lying on your belly and crawling one inch at a time.
- Snake: Can't I just run?
- Otacan: Well, yeah, I guess.
The Middle of Nowhere
- Snake: Ooh, a fight with Vamp here in the sweaty jungles of South America. I can't wait.
- Otacon: Not quite, Snake. He's immortal. No wait, he has nanomachines. Maybe he has immortal nanomachines.
- Snake: Otacon!
- Otacon: Right... See, Snake, there are these four emotional bionic supermodels who want to kill you just because you're you.
- Snake: Arbitrary bosses, huh? Smells like Kojima's work.
- Otacon: Who?
- Snake: Forget it.
- Otacon: Never mind that, Snake. You're needed on the jungle warfare set. They're shooting an 80s action movie there.
The Middle of the Game
- Snake: Otacon, should I sneak around these generically Eastern European streets with a hologram of my younger, less creepy, face while wearing this cool trenchcoat and blending in with the civilians? 'Cause that would be cool.
- Otacon: No way, that was just for the cut scene. Get your Octocamo back on and spend the next couple weeks following some guy who for some strange reason gets spooked by the sight of a 70-year old chain smoker wearing a glistening rubber suit.
- Snake: You think I look 70?
- Otacon: Don't worry about it Snake. You'll be dead soon. Focus on the mission. But, yeah, you got five months tops.
- Snake: My back hurts.
- Otacon: So in the last one it was hunger, now it's back pain? What's next, bathroom breaks?
- Snake: You're one to talk.
The Middle of the Road
- Otacon: Snake, we've arrived at MGS1 to see how it looks in hi-def.
- Snake: Whoa, I was just playing that.
- Otacon: Snake you're gonna be driving Metal Gear Rex before you leave here.
- Snake: Metal Gear?!
- Otacon: Yes, the very Metal Gear I designed because I love Japanese Animes.
- Snake: Are these--
- Otacon: Yes. Snake, those are bowling balls with arms.
- Snake: Got it.
- Otacon: You've got to waste a bunch of time fighting them then realize you can usually just outrun them. Actually, this level is kind of boring until the end.
- Snake: But... but it's Shadow Moses! The Nostalgia alone should...
- Otacon: Snake!
- Otacon: *grumbles*
The Middle Man
- Otacon: And as the tour of remade levels from the first three games comes to a close, we finish things on the MGS2 Tanker level from Sons of Liberty
- Snake: Otacon, this is insane. I'm carrying like 50 guns.
- Otacon: Snake, if you need more guns, talk to Drebin:
- Drebin: I'm here to make things less tedious.
- Snake: You're doing a good job, actually.
- Drebin: Eye... have... you *throws up gang sign*
- Snake: Does that mean something? I seriously can't tell.
- Otacon: Snake, you stand around and talk to people an awful lot.
- Snake: Can I help it if people open up to me? I'm not even listening half the time.
