This is an ongoing list where I attempt to do the following: Play, Complete, and Rank every video game in the known universe in order to finally answer the age old question "What is the greatest game of all time?" For previous entries find the links on the attached spreadsheet.

How did I do?

It's that time of year again, Football season. I used to be very into football season, I would follow the teams, play fantasy in usually multiple different leagues, and dedicate hours and hours on Sunday to watching games. I will say I am on year 4 of my sobriety from football, and honestly I don't really miss it. Now, that sobriety doesn't include playing football games, because I'm nothing if not a video game fan, and every now and again that means kicking a virtual pigskin and seeing what comes out the other end.

First we have to set the record straight, this is not the Genesis game that people remember fondly, no this is the newer games that you can play on your current console. I would say it's the spiritual sequel, but it is literally using the same words in the name, so maybe its just an official sequel.

Mutant Football League, is first and foremost an arcade style football game that is trying to crib a little from madden, a little from blitz, and obviously a little from the genesis version. For those that are unfamiliar with any of those games, pretend if the NFL was played by teams comprised of skeletons, robots, werewolves, demons, Orcs, and aliens. It is very recognizable as a football video game, but doesn't want to be bogged down with all the rules that might take place in real football. It is a weird mishmash of styles, because the rosters are all these "mutants," but the developers made and even updated rosters (this week) of the real NFL teams. The Midway Mutants are a stand in for the Chicago Bears and have their roster, the Malice Hellboys are the Dallas Cowboys, etc. It's seems like the funniest way to cross an exclusive license. Sure Madden might have the only players license for the NFL, but Mutant League Football has players like Hatrick Myhomies (Patrick Mahomes) and Von Killer (Von Miller). This is maybe a nitpick for me only, but I don't like this weird toe the line... I either want real players or fake players and not a mix.

Now how does one go about beating a sports game like this? Well I played what I can only assume is its single-player "story" mode which is called Dynasty. You pick a team and the game takes all of the players, makes them absolutely shit, and then asks you to take this team of trash and make them a champion in at least 1 out of the first three years. It is truly the underdog story we were all waiting for. Your players will earn attributes for playing in the game, and weekly you can make a few attribute purchases that can help boost players before playing a game. The better the player does the more points they earn which can then get put back into whatever stat that player has open. Its actually a pretty good system and I enjoyed building up the players I didn't just replace in free agency over time, and being able to personally put the stats in give you some control over the team you want to make. Want your players to be all speed? Do you value doing damage instead?

However, its easy to exploit and something that after a few weeks made my team too powerful despite having a low overall rating. For instance, all my cornerbacks, safeties, and linebackers on defense I just raised their speed and catch rating, so that they could basically catch up to any receiver and intercept any pass that came their way. It worked too well, as I usually intercepted a pass every other drive that the computer made. Since the game only rewards players that play, you eventually find yourself with a starting lineup of players that are all incredibly highly rated, with backups that might as well be non-existent. I was dominating games with an overall rating of 70 for my team, I can't imagine how little fun I would be having if I was in season 2 or 3 of Dynasty mode, because the computer's stats seem to be the same.

The actual football itself, is.....fine. I mean its a competent arcade football game but it comes with all the issues that it entails. For instance, the computer never adapts to your playstyle or really plays to their own strengths and just like in any arcade sports title I found the two plays that almost always guarantee that I'm moving forward and used them Ad-nauseum. The computer never learned, and would rarely stop me on drives. The game plays faster than Madden but slower than Blitz, so you don't feel rushed on every play, but there is no waiting for a play to develop either, you just keep moving. There are some things that took some time getting used to. There is no specific catch button, which would always make me mess up early games defensively because I assumed I had to push a button to attempt an intercept, but you just have to stand in the way. Speed bursts can only be used once per play, so once you burn it, your character just jogs at the same speed for the remainder of the play. The plays always line up in the middle of the field, never the left or the right side, which means you never have to adjust for what side has more running room, but it also means that you never have to aim field goals. Technically you have an arrow to adjust left and right, but you are always lined up directly in the middle, you only need to adjust power to make them.

Outside of the "mutants" the big draw in this game is that you can injury and kill players on the field, and you can cheat and get away with it. If a player takes too much damage on the field, by being hit by other players or falling victim to a field hazard will cause them to either be injured for a set number of plays or outright die. In both instances you go to the next person in your depth chart. The thing everyone did in fun while playing blitz (late hits) is now not only encouraged but built into the game as viable strategy. Just tackling the computer is not enough, you want to quickly get up and have a player hit them as much as possible before the next play is called. This way you can slowly wear them down and hopefully kill them so they are out of the game permanently. Presumably if a team runs out of players for a pivotal role, they automatically forfeit the game. I had this happen exactly once, and it seemed more luck than anything. When you start off in Dynasty your players will die quite often, because their "toughness" stat is low, that you will be going deep down the depth chart in games one and two, eventually this will happen less and less. On each field there are usually hazards as well that can kill or injury your player instantly should they step on/in the hazard. Where it hurts the most, is that you can only control one player at a time, and nothing is more disheartening then seeing that a bunch of your star players died on the last play because they were dumb enough to walk on a mine or a bear trap despite being away from the play.

You can also cheat in this game, legally. Each team is given 4 cheats (2 Off, 2 Def) that they can use once a half. These vary team by team, but can give your running back chainsaws to literally cut through the defense, super speed, or cause the football to be replaced with a bomb that kills whomever is holding it. Learning to utilize these cheats, and the counters to the other team cheats are vital in keeping your sanity, but what starts off as a fun bit, becomes tiresome 10 games into the season. I got to the point, where I wasn't using my offensive cheats and burning all my defensive ones on the first two plays every half, because it didn't really matter. It seems like a great idea for local or online multiplayer, since you can bluff or actually cheat, but it sounds cooler then it actually is.

One of the most maddening things about this game is that you can't change difficulty in Dynasty mode after starting it. If you are 5-6 games in and realize this is too easy or too hard, you would have to start all over in order to make that change. I can understand this if there are achievements tied to difficulty settings, but those achievements don't exist. The game is upfront about that option so I started on Normal, and while the first 2-3 games were difficult because I was learning the game and my team sucked, by games 7+ I was beating teams by 20 to 30 points, and yet I just had to finish the season out or start over and select hard mode. I certainly wouldn't be opposed to playing another season, but I wouldn't want to start over and build another team from scratch, but I also don't want to sleepwalk through another 16 games at the same difficulty.

Sidebar - play this game on mute.. The announcers are trying to be funny and edgy, but unless you are a 13yr old boy who thinks the idea of having sex, or using the word F*** is funny

The game is middling in almost all aspects, its not bad, I had fun, but it isn't going to replace either Madden or Blitz (if you play either of those). Which leads me to question who this game is for? I would naturally assume this game is for people who don't have access to Madden, but still want football. Or, maybe its for people who REALLY REALLY miss the Genesis game, and want whatever the closest thing is. There are DLC teams you can buy just to make the game even closer to the NFL, so you might just want to play real football if you are buying all these.

Is this the greatest game of all time?: Cmon now.. can you imagine the blowback if this

Where does it rank: This game is right down the middle.. I probably won't play this ever again, and I enjoyed roughly half of the 16 games I played. I would have placed this right in the middle of the list, but it turns out my middle of the list has better games then this, so it falls closer to a sports game that is very similar (deaths, player upgrades, too long of a season) Super Blood Hockey( 58th). I'm placing this 53rd out of current 82 games played. It is between Evoland 2 (52nd) and Adam's Venture Origins (54th).

Up Next: Toad's Treasure Tracker (Switch)

Anyone looking for it: here is the link to the list and more if you are interested in following along with me (this is not a self promotion). Here. I added links on the spreadsheet for quick navigation. Now if you missed a blog of a game you want to read about, you can get to it quickly, rather than having to scroll through my previous blogs wondering when it came up.

Thanks for Listening.