What'd you expect from Bioware? Why another masterpiece of course from the same people responsible for many classics. 
 
They improved the gunplay from the first and many other aspects. 
 
People have problems with scanning of planets but I think its like a Treasure hunt! 
  
A treasure hunt required for every single upgrade but I try to look on the bright side. 
 
Also SHEPARD STARES INTO YOUR SOUL 

Thank the lord five out of five stars oh god I love mushrooms and jumping on turtles. 
 
The stars too oh man god damn can't get enough of this stuff. 
 
I don't get it you jump on things and save the princess and kill bowser again. 
 
They try to innovate and make new powerups for him but at heart your still jumping on stuff. 
 
Do people ever get tired of jumping I'll never know. 

Stabbing peoples and building up the little town is fun stuff. 
  
Also IS HE DRUNK? 
 
MUST BE APART OF A DRUNKEN WAGER! 
 
WHY CAN'T HE WALK AROUND LIKE NORMAL PEOPLE! 
 
HOW EXCITING BUT ALSO RECKLESS! 
 
WHAT IS HE DOING!?   

EZIO you must assassinate all my pizza pies in under 3 minutes! 
 
MAMA MIA! 

Master piece. 
 
What can I say.  
 
Also mark hamill IS the joker and bat IS batman 
 
Why? 
 
cause I'm batman KAPOW!

  I just remembered trying to play this game a long time ago seeing how people went nuts for it so I tried to go nuts to.
 
Problem is that every time I tried get my sims on THEY ALWAYS GET DEPRESSION AND KILL THEMSELVES STOP IT KNOCK IT OFF.
 
Every god damn time they commit suicide or become miserable masses. I AM NOT THAT TERRIBLE A OVERSEER YOU JACKOFF.
 
Anyways I try to start and make a regular guy normal stats fill out his crummy house with stupid junk.
 
He gets a job being a soldier or cop or some junk everythings going fine for the most part.
 
Heres where ALL HELL BREAKS LOOSE. Ok he comes back from work and get Post traumatic stress disorder or some junk and starts crying and watching TV ALL THE TIME. Come on dude get it together how bout painting a picture or playing video games? I know what will cheer you up PIZZA! So he orders some and starts to get his act together when the door rings.
 
I thought it was a pizza man but it was a PIZZA GIRL OH SNAP TIME TO GET YOUR MACK ON HOME SLICE! So I tell him to get his mack on little did I know he'd get his SLACK ON AND FUMBLE WITH THE PIZZA LADY NO YOU BUFFOON!
 
After the PIZZA DEBACLE he becomes BALLISTIC crying eating and watching tv ALL THE DAMN TIME WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS TO ME.
 
In a befuddled rage I told him to make some god damn DEGIORNO trying not to summon the PIZZA LADY creating another fit of cry and tv.
 
When DIVINE INTERVENTION takes place god snatching up mah poor crying man baby of a man leaving a ashy floor of his remnants thank god.
 
Guess what this happened TWO TIME TO ME.
 
DAMN THE PIZZA LADY AND DAMN THAT EASY BAKE OVEN FROM HELL.
 
Stayyyy coooool and watch out for pizzas god damn it

Thats perfectly fine with me honestly.
 
The game is GORGEOUS especially the water and deserts. It looks so delicious I want to eat it but this is panau and not candyland darn.
 
Guns are limited but can be upgraded and such but the major ones are there basically.
 
The enemies are BULLHONKY like one time I was planting C4 and some guy shot it blowing me up and screwed up my mission.
 
WHAT THE HELL IS YOUR PROBLEM CANT YOU BE RETARDED LIKE ALL THE OTHER AIS? Extraordinary assholes indeed.
 
The vehicles are fine except the ones that are paper and explode for no reason. SCREW YOU BOAT AND MOTORCYCLES YOU BREAKA MA HEART.
 
But the armored vehicles are sex and I want to make love to their metallic bodies mmm oh yes. They also shoot down dumb stuff like cranes that my pistol cant hurt at all what the hell.
 
The missions are like action movies scenes except when you die from stupid deaths and start from the checkpoint.
 
I HATE THOSE STUPID DEATHS YOU WILL HAVE SO MANY DEAR GOD WHY.
 
It's still mindless fun but if you're looking for some SHAKESPEARIAN junk RPGS are that away but for mindless shooter junkies I GOT MAH FIX ON.

 Stay Cool Fool and wipe off the Drool!

You waste a lot of time but is it time well wasted I'll never know.
 
But a BAD GAME IS STILL A BAD GAME SO DON'T WASTE YOUR TIME!
 
stay cool

I kind of liked oblivion you could say and I like guns when used appropriately. What could go wrong it's gotta be like peanut butter and jelly right? 
 
Instead I got peanut butter and cream cheese ugh why'd I mix those together bleh might as well eat the whole thing blarg it was the only thing left in the fridge. 
 
Another strange experience but one none the less. 
  
Ok you start as some freaking baby in oblivion your a escaped convict coming from a city sewer now your a baby from some ladys THING. 
 
WOW THANKS BETHESDA HOW RIVETING THE FEMALE BODY. 
 
Then you gotta choose your abilities and junk. In this game you can choose your wide variety of abilities and skills. AIN't MUCH IN OBLIVION but at least they're learning thank goodness. 
 
You can pick stuff you can shoot stuff you can sneak stuff if waddling all over the place counts then. 
 
So there's actual stuff to do unlike thwacking things with a sword. 
 
The world is in ruins but there's a actual landscape if you can call GREY AND BROWN A LANDSCAPE. 
 
Apparently theres rocks and burnt out house with dead people inside them and mutants galore. Unlike the TREEPOCOLYPSE oblivion was fallout 3 could be beautiful if it want's to maybe I guess if I squint a little. 
 
The main story is so I LOST SOME BRAIN CELLS TO THIS JUNK. You gotta save yo dad but den yo daddys like UH UH SUN I GOTSA START DA WATA MACHINE HELP MEH. So youre like kay lets du dis shet yo. ben den yo dady die to da bad guiz and ur lik NOOO lool den you kil da bad guiz den u eithr mak da wata mahicn giv guud watr oar bad watr hurrr durrr. 
 
If I ever do that again STOP ME. I mean it's so MUNDANE compared to the world that some of the side quests are more interesting like the REPLICATED MAN. 
 
They always do that they make a side quest a million times better than the main quest do they have a brain disorder? 
 
IS BETHESDA TAKING THEIR MEDICINE SOMEONE HELP THEM OH LORD. 
  
The guns are ok and the melee weapons are ok except they should add more to be honest to make it worth while. 
 
Graphics are adequate I'm a gameplay before graphics kind of fellow sorry chums. Sounds are hilarious they have more than four voice actors. 
 
THEY HAVE FIVE NOW! 
 
Jokes aside at least they sound better than the last four to be honest but thats not saying much HEYO. 
 
STAY COOL

Hey mom I want to be a plumber and jump in pipes and stomp turtles to death. 
 
At least they made him a doctor and stuff but come on man. 
 
Hey mom I'm gonna find some pills and pop em aw yeah times to stomp some turtles. 
 
What the hell did the turtles even do to mario. They're just walking back and forth all serine but then  
 
MA MA MIA I GOTTA SAVE MY ROYAL HOE KER STOMP. 
  
Why's he breaking all those brick man I WAS BUILDING A HOUSE YOU A-HOLE. 
 
A HOUSE FOR ALL THESE TURTLES but oh no MAMA MIA you need your fix don't you. 
 
Where did all these turtles even COME FROM. 

Damn you mario 

Modern day masterpiece along side deus ex. It was AMAZING from the atmosphere and the sound oh man THE SOUNDS. It was half of the experience. 
 
I was constantly on edge and jumped out my seat too many times. TOO MANY TIMES but I still finished it though. The story fits just right for a scifi with psychic parasitic zombies and killer robots running around DAMN. 
 
The Graphics go so well with the game. Personally I think putting games graphically on low turns them into a abstract horror that enhances the feeling. 
 
There is nothing more terrifying than a LOW POLY ZOMBIE TRYING TO BLOW YOUR BRAINS OUT. 
 
I made a navy gunner hacker since it's pretty much required throughout the game with all the stuff to hack. SCREW YOU LAZER TURRETS GOD DAMN IT. 
 
The level design felt a space ship GONE TO HELL. Theres malls full of zombies and rooms full of zombies and a shuttle bay...full of zombies. Dead bodies everywhere ripe for the looting and cameras as far as the eye can see.  
 
SCREW YOU CAMERAS GOD DAMN. 
 
The inventory was great for the most part except pumping strength to carry more junk and the absurd gun degradation but thats a terror mechanic and man it caused some damn terror. FAR TOO MANY TIMES HAVE MY GUN JAMMED IN A BAD MOMENT. Oh jesus  

 The ending was satisfying and definitely could use a sequel.  
Kevin levine made system shock 2 and that was great so but then bioshock came out and IT WAS NOTHING LIKE SYSTEM SHOCK 2. 
 
Now I know why they were pissed and were screaming plus bioshock 2 isn't that great either. 
 
DAMN YOU KEVIN LEVINE YOU WERE GREAT BUT NOW YOU'RE DEAD TO ME. 
 
DEAD TO ME!