I'm just gonna keep these up as a means of recording all the messed up shit my roommate does. I want to remember these stories so that this horrible contract wasn't 
made entirely in vain. 
 
Dude was fucking some girl on the floor of the living room at 10am. I made eggs and ate them at the table, while facing them. They pretended to be still. He later left, and when I came back the whole house smelled like dirty sex, leaning more towards dick than the not-too-unpleasant smell of a woman. 
 
Whereas I managed to clean my plate as soon as I finished eating, I was greeted upon my returning with a table full of dishes and every pot in the house laying dirty in the sink. Oh, and there was a magnum condom on the table. I held it up to myself... they actually aren't much bigger than the normals, at least in width. Did I mention my roommate is black? 
 
fin