TerraCorrupt 83's Top Ten Worst Video Game Protagonists
This is not my list. This is technically a top 11 because there is a tie for number 10. It's not my fault both characters at number 10 are incredibly annoying.
List items
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1. Tidus - Final Fantasy X
I cannot stand this fucker. I simply CANNOT STAND HIM. Everything about him makes me want to shoot him.
From his annoying voice, his incessant whining, stupid outfit, and retarded storyline, Tidus really stands out as the King of Shitty Characters, and I can't see him stepping down from his throne any time soon.
Tidus is definitely not a worthy successor to Zidane Tribal as a hero, or even as a main character in any sense, and after less than an hour of playing with this retard, I was scarred for life.
What kind of hero has BUBBLES rising from his fucking sword, and whines about being HUNGRY?!?!?! We're better off with the guys from Lost in Blue!!
Where did Square go wrong?! How could they betray their fans this way!? Now, I hate all aspects of Final Fantasy X, especially Yuna, but damn man.. Tidus really takes the shit cake as the worst main character of all time.
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2. Sonic the Hedgehog - Sonic the Hedgehog Series
I hate him.
I hate him more than Justin Bieber, because at least Justin Bieber will die at some point in his life.
Sonic simply WILL NOT DIE, and every day, this fact eats a little more of my soul away. He's like the (not MENTALLY) retarded kid at school who everybody hates, yet he acts so "cool" all the time, and isn't aware of the fact that nobody likes him.
Sonic was somewhat of an interesting character at first, at least when he was just running around in a 2D World collecting rings.. Until the day he opened his mouth.
That was a dark day for humanity, and I hope that one day, this loud-mouthed azure pest will get the lethal injection.
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3. Jim Corbijn - Mindjack
For those of you fortunate enough to pass this shithole of a game, I'll explain it to you. Jum Corbijn is a guy with a gun who goes around shooting people.
Were you expecting more? I hope you weren't, because that's all there is to him.
Generic, stereotyped, hackneyed, and above all else, aggravating. His pointless back-story provides nothing useful about this character to go on, and his present story is just tedious, to say the very least.
Other than flying about in a monitor-form-Halo-style Wander when you get shot too much (which happens about every three fucking seconds), there is absolutely nothing good to mention about this character.
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4. Kaim Argonar - Lost Odyssey
Ugh.. Kaim seriously makes me feel sick, like he's some kind of infection that sleeps in your room while you're playing the game, and makes you feel depressed and low.
Kaim makes Cloud Stife look like a Care Bare. I know his life sucks, but does he have to BROOD on it for the ENTIRE FUCKING GAME? All the other immortal characters were able to get over their past quickly, but no, not Kaim.
His voice, costume, and personality put me to sleep, and the only time I have anying kind of affection for his character is:
A. When Lirrium dies
B. In the Thousand Years of Dreams documents.
At least Sed and Jansen are there to liven things up a bit, but having Kaim as be the main character, along with Tolten and Ming Numara being in the mix, it's a miracle I made it through the game. Also, Kaim, you might want to brush that hair out of your face.
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5. Ash Ketchum (Red) - Pokemon Red/Blue
Ash is a young boy who goes around imprisoning cute and amazing creatures inside tiny balls and makes them fight to the death with people he doesn't even know.
How much more sadistic could you be?
These Pokemon could kick Ash's ass at any given time, yet they never seem to. Why is that? Is it because he tortures them? Or is it because the Pokeballs contain some kind of mind-altering sedative that makes the Pokemon unable to attack their captor?
Regardless, I still can't believe something so horrible could last so long.
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6. Goofy - Kingdom Hearts Series
Why do I hate Goofy? Because he sucks. In his original cartoons, he was a loveable idiot. Now he's the cliched "quietly intelligent" guy with a stupid demeanor who notices stuff Sora and Donald overlook because they're being "irrational," or whatever..
He even makes me sick. Even his "death" was sickeningly hackneyed and above all else, pointless. When the rock hits him, I thought to myself, "Oh please, let him be dead..."
...But no such luck...
So dramatic, Square... >_>
Get my hopes ups, and now I have to re-equip all his shit that was unequipped from his "death" just so I can be annoyed some more, as in, for the rest of the game... Assholes..
Just to set the record straight, I hate Donald Duck too, and his strangle-worthy battle sounds, but at least he has somewhat funny dialogue, and he's an asshole to everyone, which is fine with me.
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7. Donkey Kong - Donkey Kong Series
I can't stand how low they made DK sink in games like Donkey Kong Jungle Beat and Yoshi's Island DS. He's a big, powerful ape who's ape over bananas! So why did they make him into a shitty bongo player and a whining baby?
Donkey Kong was a good main character back in the 8, 16, and 64 bit eras, but why now, in the 2000's did Nintendo have to make him such a douchebag? Honestly, Nintendo.. Sometimes you should think properly before you try milking a popular character.
Have a little dignity.
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8. Terra Brandford - Dissidia: Final Fantasy
Not only is she the only female Warrior of the Cosmos, but all the characters treat her as such, making her the "damsel in distress" through the whole game, and giving her an annoying voice, story, and standpoint that really just makes me want to punch her.
I was never too attached to Terra in her original game Final Fantasy VI, but something about her in Dissidia really pisses me off, and I wish Kefka would just destroy her already... She's useless.
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9. Alex Mercer - Prototype
Alex is a hideously ugly shape-shifter with absolutely no personality or appeal whatsoever, other than the fact that he can rip through soldiers and Hunter as easy as beating an infant to death.
Honestly, there isn't much to say. Alex has nothing interesting about him, other than his unicorn and luscious tits...
Yeah.. You saw that.
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10A. Hope Estheim - Final Fantasy XIII
I can't stress enough HOW ANNOYING these characters are. From Hope's incessant bitching and Vanille's blow-your-brains-out aggravating battle sounds, they just suck, in general, as heroes, and I wish they would just turn in Cie'th and shut the fuck up!
Final Fantasy XIII isn't a great game in itself, but the presence of these two terrible characters really intesified my hatred for this game, which was already blazing from FFXII, which, in my opinion, is the worst piece of shit Square ever shat out.
My expectations for redemption for these characters, and the franchise itself, have died much faster than these shithead characters should have. Oh, and Vanille's voice? Fuck it to hell.
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10B. Oerba Dia Vanille - Final Fantasy XIII
I can't stress enough HOW ANNOYING these characters are. From Hope's incessant bitching and Vanille's blow-your-brains-out aggravating battle sounds, they just suck, in general, as heroes, and I wish they would just turn in Cie'th and shut the fuck up!
Final Fantasy XIII isn't a great game in itself, but the presence of these two terrible characters really intesified my hatred for this game, which was already blazing from FFXII, which, in my opinion, is the worst piece of shit Square ever shat out.
My expectations for redemption for these characters, and the franchise itself, have died much faster than these shithead characters should have. Oh, and Vanille's voice? Fuck it to hell.
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