The people that make up the Giant Bomb forums. Part 2.
By HS21 164 Comments
Relationship Advice Guy
A website where the majority of users are single, 15 year old boys is the perfect place to ask for relationship advice right? No? Well, what if you're a single, 15 year old boy asking other single, 15 year old boys for relationship advice, that's a smart move right? Still no? Well I guess that's pretty obvious to you then, it's just not as painfully obvious to relationship advice guy, or R.A.G. R.A.G is a simultaneous source of comedy and tragedy. Sometimes it's nice to take a break from video games and just enjoy reading about the desperate machinations of a forum user trying to ask out a girl he likes. Whether it be a high school friend, long time acquaintance or tutor, you can be sure that if he has to ask for advice on Giant Bomb, it's probably not going to work out.
Writes overly long blogs about games he's played guy.
You know that game you've been anticipating for a long time now? You've read the reviews, played the game, and maybe even listened to a podcast or two where people discussed this game to death. You would think that you've consumed pretty much all the information that there is on the internet about this one game right? Doesn't matter, overly long blog guy is here to tell you what he thinks of it. Odds are that you don't know overly long blog guy, that to you, he's just another faceless forum user, so why would you feel compelled to read what he thinks about a game he's played? Still, at least he included some pictures to go along with his 3000 word write up on Red Dead Redemption "The Inner Turmoil of John Marston". Sometimes overly long blog guy will even write about a game from a few years back, you know, just in case you forgot that 'Perfect Dark' for the N64 existed.
White Knight Guy
God help us, someone on the internet is being poked fun at! The police have no jurisdiction here, and my computer is not nearly powerful enough to back trace the offender. Will no one help this stranger on the internet? Wait, over there, beyond the horizon of the second page of the forums, it's him! White knight guy! W.K.G can't just stand idly by while people don't take a thread seriously or make poorly thought out and terribly executed jokes about someone's mother. He's here to put a stop to all that, with his +4 shield against trolls, he leaps on top of his high horse giving him +2 mobility which allows him to move swiftly from thread to thread. He's the first and last line of defense against the next Giant Bomb forum personality...
Forum Asshole Guy
W.K.G's arch nemesis, forum asshole guy, or F.A....right. A forum asshole comes in a few different flavours ranging from subtle to obscenely obnoxious. A subtle forum asshole specializes in back handed compliments and small jabs which come in quick succession. However, an obscenely obnoxious forum asshole prefers starting the show with a show stopper. Divorced parents? Recently diseased relatives? Perfect, forum asshole can use this. After a couple of uppercuts from him, he retreats into the night, not to be seen until he returns once again, you know, when his ban is uplifted after a few weeks.
Overly Critical Guy
You know that off hand remark you made in some thread a day or two ago? What's that? You don't even remember because it was just some blurb that you spat out while you were talking to someone on the phone? Well let overly critical guy remind you. He's noticed some very disturbing things in your post. You forgot to capitalize the first word in sentence three, you've misused the semi colon half way through your post and the wording is just awkward. Oh, it's not over, that was just his critique on the technical aspect of what you wrote. Just wait until he tells us all what he thinks of the actual content of the post that he so graciously edited. He doesn't agree with your statement, he believes you've made several wrong claims, your hair sucks, you look like a piece of shit, you're going no where in life and everyone hates you. Man, he really thinks that game should have been 4 out of 5 stars instead of 3 out of 5...
Relationship Advice Guy, Writes Overly Long Blogs Guy, Forum Asshole Guy.
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I've been both sides of relationship advice guy. I've given advice , but I've also needed it . I've written overly long blogs , usually about what some would say is pretty stupid shit, and some might even argue that I'm forum asshole guy (Seriously, that was a tribute).
Edit: Maybe you don't fall under any of these categories, put up your own description of your forum persona. Pictures are nice.