Harry Potter Drags The Fallen To Hell? Alright, Witty Title Over
By jakob187 25 Comments
Instead of focusing on games this week, I focused on something that I love and haven't really focused on in a few months: movies. My buddy Dusty came up from Austin this weekend for his birthday, and he hadn't seen Drag Me To Hell yet. Since it was in the dollar theatre, we decided it would be a bit more kick-ass to see this flick with a few more scratches in the film stock, making for a real seedy-theatre kind of experience. The movie is just as good for me the second time around, but unfortunately, the sound wasn't nearly as booming and to the level of "aural rape" I had experienced the first time. This has led me to the belief that I have to invite Dusty over when the DVD comes out so we can hear it on my 5.1 surround. = D
- A joke about someone's nuts every 10 seconds
- Two twins that are walking stereotypes of black people calling each other "pussies" and fighting
- A Transformer WITH a set of balls
- Optimus Prime, within the first five minutes of the movie, saying "punk ass Decepticons", then putting his foot on said Decepticons chest and shooting it in the face like he's a common fucking thug
- A mother having eaten pot brownies and yelling at girls about how his son had his cherry popped
I would expect this kind of stuff in a Judd Apatow movie, and I would probably laugh at a few of the things. In Transformers, however, it's an utter disgrace and quite disrespectful to the fanbase who has loved this franchise for so long. Michael Bay taking an iconic franchise and turning it into his own thuggish playground the way he has had me close to walking out of the theatre at least five times, as well as yelling in the theatre "what the FUCK is wrong with this movie?". The parents with their kids complained about me complaining and cussing...then laughed with their kids when John Turturro comments on being directly under a Transformer's scrotum. The world we live in, eh?
So, a big thank you to Michael Bay for raping my childhood. Fuck you very much. Sorry I tried to defend your fucking movie, and I'm sorry for everyone who I shit on when the movie was being released. You were right, I was wrong.
Let me repeat that: Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince is PHENOMENAL!
I don't care what wasn't in the movie that was in the book. I really don't. I look at this as a MOVIE, and this movie easily trumps ANYTHING in the franchise. People can claim Prisoner of Azkaban to be the best all they want, but I still contest that Cuaron's "long takes are the best" method really hurt that movie...as well as filtering it through about twelve shades of black! Half-Blood Prince has that feeling of extreme black sometimes as well, but it didn't irritate me nearly as much because David Yates shows how capable he is of using that darkness to its advantage. The origins of Tom Riddle are not light-hearted, and Yates doesn't treat it lightly at all. Meanwhile, HBP shows some of the best acting in the franchise, with Daniel Radcliffe really spreading his wings this time around. Any human being that cannot see the absolutely PERFECT comedic timing he has when under the influence of the Liquid Luck potion is blind...just blind. Emma and Rupert do a great job as Hermione and Ron as usual, but let's be honest: Jim Broadbent steals the fucking SHOW as Professor Slughorn. He brings that cool, calm, collected English sensibility of acting that the franchise needs so badly at this point. The scenes he shares with the young Frank Dillane as a teenaged Tom Riddle are some of the best acting seen in this entire series...and the stare that Frank Dillane has blew me away!!!
At the end of the day, though, the movie just does everything it has previously done so much better. Malfoy is less of an emo ass bastard and more of a scared teenager trying to belong where he knows he shouldn't be at all. Potter plays the role of a lovestruck fool trying to have a normal life that is constantly interrupted by his destiny with flying colors. Watson plays the role of a girl trying to make sense of the world around her incredibly well, and Grint's absolutely naivete is the best he's done so far. Rickman once again shows a seamless performance as Snape, and again proves why he's got the best eyes for acting in the industry.
No two ways about it: Half-Blood Prince really shines as a film, both franchise-related and on its own. I suggest everyone see it and get sucked in by the excellence it exudes.
Until next time, piece!