I am a bit surprised you managed to lose enough exp to level down, but I feel your experience with FFXI is fairly unique for new players in the modern-FFXI era.
Most new players arrive because they have friends who play it and want them to try. Those friends will usually then use methods to get the new player to level 99 as quick as possible (which can be done in a couple hours if you know what you're doing), because the journey to level 99 (and basic gear ilevel 119) is not the real grind.
The real grind is fine-tuning all your gear sets and building ultimate weapons, which is where gil becomes relevant. Buying all the mats you need to complete an ultimate "rema" weapon can cost you 100 million gil or more depending on your server and the weapon. You can of course farm those mats, but doing so is usually unrealistic.
To be reductive (I guess) I'd basically agree with you that the story/lore is the attractive thing about the game, and not the actual gameplay (the ending credits to Rhapsodies of Vana'diel always makes me tear up). But I also have to get that piece of gear I want so my job does more damage faster, or helps my party survive better.
Most new players don't stick around for more than a few months in my experience (there are exceptions) even if they have friends on the inside who power-level them.
I started playing in 2010 because of a free trial, and in anticipation on FFXIV coming out later that year. But I got really invested in XI, probably because I was a kid with a lot of free time. And if XIV 1.0 didn't completely suck, I most likely wouldn't still be playing XI today. I bet it wouldn't surprise you if I said that FFXI is simultaneously my absolute favourite and least favourite game ever.
Sorry this post ended up being a train of thought. I love this game, but someone coming to it new and sticking with it NOW seems impossible.
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