A Marvelous Alternative to E3: Part One

Part 01: Dawn of the Planning of the Apes

This oddly ostentatious font was a choice of the fan translators: it's a much more no-frills Japanese typeface in the original. Anyway, pirates. You can be my bosun buddy anytime, Iceman.Known as Marvelous, or known to be marvelous? I realize this game needs a namesake, but this just feels like a Who's On First bit in the making. "Have you seen the Cap'n's treasure?" "Aye, it's Marvelous." "Yarrr, surely 'tis true. But what be it?" "Marvelous." "Yar. I'll be stabbin' ye now."Why do kids today have to be so much louder than everyone else? Here's what the millennials will kill next: my eardrums.This seems like bad timing. Actually, this seems more like a bad place to go for a camping trip. What kind of parent would sign those permission slips?Welcome to Marvelous, everyone! I love that self-deprecating subtitle. Then there's also Marvelous XXX: Not Another Treasure Island, but we won't be playing that this week.For our prologue we're treated to... monkeys. Discussing the secrets of the island, how Winky the Monkey will defend them from outsiders, and the role of three colored keys necessary to unlock the mysterious pirate ship on the far end of the island which I'm sure we won't have to collect from dungeons. There's also this whole spiel about smoke monsters and Dharma and the numbers, but I'm just sticking with highlights for now.The monkeys have been protecting the island for generations but now I guess they're bored and just want to find a bunch of humans who aren't assholes to do it instead. Friggin' lazy is what they are.We're introduced to Pluck and I'm starting to wonder if the game is trying to trick us into thinking these are the game's heroes. Nope, we're not playing as Winky the Monkey or Pluck the Bird, which both sound like euphemisms.Suddenly, a monkey breathlessly rushes in with some news: there's another Shrek movie on the way! Shrek Pleads the Fifth, where the ogre with layers is brought to court for eating the Gingerbread Man. Can Donkey and Fiona figure out the real culprit in time?!Actually, he has news about some bad humans on the way. Could they know the link between the monkeys and the treasure? Or could it just be they want to train some monkey butlers, which is kinda expected when you're on a desert island.The Elder Monkey peaces out, and Winky looks for another way to exit the cave. As prologues go, it certainly was a bunch of monkeys sitting around talking about nothing. Evil's on its way, and the monkeys have seen, heard and talked about it!Meanwhile, it's time to start Chapter 1: The middle-school's class trip to the Highly Dangerous Pirate Island of Mystery!Everyone in this camp operates in groups of three: we call it The Enhanced Buddy System, or Buddy Pro Plus. The leaders of these groups invariably wear these rakish straw hats. I guess they were low on conch shells.We're introduced to our three characters: Deon, the all-rounder and leader, is pretty much Link with more traditional JRPG hair. The two really look similar from certain angles.Max is kind of the muscle of the group, but for now he's just "the fat one". School life's not going to get any easier for you pal, trust me.The lanky Jack has no style, he has no grace. This kid's got a funny face. He's the third member, of the Mento Crew. Huh!Naturally, as the default leader of the group, Deon gets the snazzy hat. The game lets you switch protagonists, so the hat magically travels over to whomever you might be controlling.We're also introduced to the "investigation screen" - using this interface, we can interact with the environment by using the interrobang symbol, or use teamwork to work on a larger obstacle, or use items to complete inventory puzzles. The game is very big on its puzzles.Our first task is simple enough: find six bundles of firewood near our starting location. I better go craft an axe, that's how these things work, right?We also get a hint about luck stones: these are like the seashells in Link's Awakening. I think there's a point to them, but for now I'm just going to grab every last one I can find. I'm sure I can trade enough in for something good eventually.You can also... oh whoops, didn't mean to upload this pic. Sigh. Ok, I'm a dumbass. Believe it or not, my kids & I were trying to convince my wife that "clicking the teacher's boob" was a thing you could do.You can also use the whistle to corral everyone, otherwise they'll just sit wherever you left them once you switch leaders. The idea being that the game assumes you want to move a character to a specific spot once you switch to them, rather than have everyone follow you immediately. That would be very annoying if the three need to stand in specific areas for a puzzle. Once you blow that whistle, they'll follow you as best as their primitive pathfinding will allow. (And no, the teacher's not coming with. We... have kind of a lawsuit thing going now, so it'd be awkward.)

In Part 2, we explore the campgrounds and the nearby lake for firewood. Turns out this game has many more odd mechanics to impart! Also: I make at least six children cry. (Look for it soon!)

Part One	Part Two	Part Three
Part Four	Part Five	Part Six