Trailer Blazer: E3 2019 (Part One)
Jesus H. Christmas there must be some way I can get out of... Oh hey! I didn't see you there. E3's rolled around again and that means another horde of trailers has descended upon the site, like so many noisy locusts called down by an angry, merciless God called @marino. Alas, there's often too many for any rational human being to watch, let alone critique for the sake of those too busy to parse them all, which is where yours truly comes in. Again. For the fourth year in a row.
Each year I like to introduce a new review category, and since Terminators were so big this year - What's more current than a killer robot from 1984? Lord if anyone at E3 knows - I've decided to build the TONINATOR out of this robot from the future that tried to kill me once (long story, it was this whole thing). The Toninator will scan each trailer and use its neural net processor to deliver a brusque analysis of the tone of each one, whether that's "somber," or "mournful," or "melancholy," or a thousand other words that mean sad that I'm going to need a thesaurus to conjure.
We also have the usual hype factor and my own subjective appraisal of how each game is looking so far. It's all in good fun, especially the part where I unduly rip apart games I don't care about because I haven't been getting enough sleep.
(This year I'm breaking up Trailer Blazer: E3 into four lists of ~50 games each. Should make updates more readable and more frequent.)
|E3 2016||E3 2017||E3 2018 (Part One)||E3 2018 (Part Two)|
|E3 2019 (Part One)||E3 2019 (Part Two)||E3 2019 (Part Three)||E3 2019 (Part Four)|