A common theme in the games I've written about lately is my feeling the need to go back and see what I wrote about previous entries in their respective series, just to refresh myself. Give myself a little more perspective, because I usually don't remember everything with total clarity. I didn't have to go back quite as far as I did for Infinite Wealth, but all the way back to 2013 is still a long way.

I technically never played the original Dragon's Dogma, only ever Dark Arisen. And that, only after it was on PlayStation Plus late in 2013, months after its initial re-release. All this I remembered, but looking back to 2013, I forgot that I played through the story, then took a break because I got a PS4. But I couldn't keep away, as I went back in New Game Plus to actually complete the Dark Arisen part of the game. As I'll get to in just a moment, my feelings on the original have gone up and down over the years, but it is funny to see that even back then, there was something just...compelling about it. Like, I took a break because of the shiny new console, but went back as soon as I finished the few launch games I was able to afford on top of the PS4 itself.

I even wrote about the game more than once, with the second time being a handful of paragraphs in a larger blog about Assassin's Creed IV, Binary Domain (another weirdo game from the era I still love), and some other stuff. Not to get too naval gaze-y, but remember when I used to do that? When these blogs were absurdly long because I decided to just lump a bunch of random stuff together? Now they're just long because I can't be concise!

Also interesting to go back and see pre-gender realizations Moosey changed the gender of the character I was playing in NG+, “to see if anything would change.” Maybe not in the game, but I certainly wasn't that far away from some things changing, haha.

What followed, was quite a few years of wait. Back then I had no reason to think there wouldn't be a Dragon's Dogma II, I certainly seemed to think Capcom would just sequel-ize it in the way they did just about everything. Didn't realize we were on the cusp of a down period for Capcom, where it really wasn't until Resident Evil VII that they emerged from hibernation with new games. I'm not kidding, I genuinely struggle to think of anything that they actually released in the first half of that generation. Street Fighter V? No main RE games, at least. Monster Hunter was still stuck on the 3DS back then, I think, so I didn't care about that. Devil May Cry was absent after the release of Ninja Theory's final good game (DmC), and Dragon's Dogma...became relegated to “cult classic” status.

In 2015, Giant Bomb hired then little known internet person Austin Walker, which would seem totally unrelated to anyone who doesn't know Austin's tastes very well. The thing is, as wordy and long winded as I can get about games, I don't write or talk about them in the way Austin does. Which is fine! I have my own style, my own voice. Frankly, as much as I respect Austin, and as much joy as everything he did at GB, even a lot of what he did at Waypoint brought to me, I would rather have my own voice than just try to copy someone else's.

The way Austin talks about Dragon's Dogma, made it feel like a fundamentally different experience than I remembered. I remembered a goofy game with fun combat, but a story that, to paraphrase 2013 me's words, alternated between “completely half-assed” and “utterly insane.” Even at the time I apologized for the use of such “profane” language, but it's how I felt then, and I think it's still true today. Thing is, after a few years of my experience of that game then being through Austin's words, my concept of Dragon's Dogma changed.

It became a game about darkness, about how terrifying that world is, and everything else. I'm not even going to attempt to sum up everything Austin Walker can say in his own words. Go read them yourself, here's something he wrote a couple years ago, after II was announced (I'm sure there's more out there but I can't be bothered to dig that deep).

Then, in 2019, I felt an itch I needed to scratch, caved, and on a sale, bought the PS4 version of Dragon's Dogma to replay it. And in doing so, my concept of this game crashed back down to earth, and I felt basically exactly the way I did back in 2013. A game with fun combat, a world that I didn't mind schlepping back and forth across despite there not being much to see along the way, pawns constantly yelling about how “goblins ill like fire” and “wolves travel in packs,” the only blacksmith in the game frequently reminding me about how, “they're masterworks all, you can't go wrong,” and a story that alternated between completely half-assed and utterly insane. 2019 me probably wouldn't have used the word “insane” because it was too “problematic,” and maybe it is but it's also true!

Still, I enjoyed it. Finished it again, and again did the Dark Arisen stuff primarily in NG+. Then, I went back to thinking we probably wouldn't get a sequel, but still hoping for it. A hope that started to feel vaguely possible after, of all things, a Dragon's Dogma Netflix animated series appeared out of nowhere. Never actually watched it, as I heard it was pretty bad. Normally I wouldn't let something like that stop me, but the second I saw in a trailer that they made the Arisen a sad dad whose pregnant wife was killed, I felt like they completely got the tone wrong, so I stayed away. I only watch good Netflix adaptations of video games, like their Dota anime (not a joke, I think that show is pretty good).

I don't know when this started, but at some point, despite only being a moderate at best fan of that original game, but I became the de facto “Dragon's Dogma person” amongst my friends. I was the sicko posting tweets from the official Dragon's Dogma account explaining what skeletons are to the group chats. I was the person, for years asking, “when's Dragon's Dogma II” any time there was any sort of games announcement thing. Right in the same breath as “when's 2 Tokyo 2 Jungle,” for more context of the level of seriousness, haha.

And yet.

By the time Dragon's Dogma II actually released, here I was, feeling like I did back in 2019, extremely excited, and ready for an adventure to experience the Dogma of Dragons. So, my “short” recap of the past 11 years over, what do I think about Dragon's Dogma II?

I think the best way I could put it, is that Dragon's Dogma II feels like what if Austin's thoughts on Dragon's Dogma I were a real game. This is a game about venturing into the unknown, stumbling through the dark and happening upon horrific monsters in the gloom of night. A struggle against the natural world of monsters, the unnatural world of magic and the unknown, and even against society itself as those in power scheme and plot to hold onto the very power that will likely end up being their undoing.

Dragon's Dogma II not only improves upon the original in any and every meaningful way (even the framerate, while still not good, is better), it's also just a fantastic game in its own right. It's a game that numerous times throughout the 73 hours I spent in my first playthrough (because like in 2013, I've already started NG+ before writing about it), made me think about the recent Zelda games, and Elden Ring.

Specifically because the world of Dragon's Dogma II is so much more fun to explore than it ever was in the first game. Gransys was certainly big, and I appreciate the game's moxie for making players traverse it so much, and having to lug Portcrystals around to fast travel to anything more than the big city (though it was not until replaying in 2019 that I realized there was already a Portcrystal in Gran Soren!). But at no point was it ever all that interesting. It was bland, both because that game was frankly, ugly looking even by the standards of the day, but also boring in how it was laid out.

I love big spaces to explore in games, and I can love big empty spaces with effectively nothing to do in them, if they're well made. Shadow of the Colossus it was not, though. Not to say there wasn't anything interesting, I remember there being some Nazca Line like pictures on some hills, that was neat. I remember various places around Gransys, but mostly because I just had to go back and forth through them so many times.

For one thing, Dragon's Dogma II has multiple regions, that are effectively different biomes, so just with that it has more visual variety than the first game. Vermund feels like the Gransys equivalent, vaguely European, very grassy and green, and with plenty of pockets of woods and forests nestled amongst its steep hills. Battahl, however, is a desert region, sandy, and orange. I would say it has a much more canyon-y feel, but truth be told, neither region has that many spaces that feel wide, or open.

While it did scratch that same exploratory itch as the Zeldas and Elden Ring, I think the way Dragon's Dogma II feels most different from them is the world is just built differently. Most of Elden Ring feels like you can pick a direction, go that way, and find something. Because Link can climb basically anything, he really can go in any direction, it's just up to the creativity of the player to figure out the specifics of doing it.

Dragon's Dogma II feels like less an open field, and more like a huge web of intertwining paths. Almost like a giant maze, with everything off the main roads crisscrossing, and these smaller paths leading to hidden caves (sometimes feeling like proper dungeons unto themselves), and other points of interest. Yes, those paths can be strayed from, but more often than not, straying too far just leads to rock walls too steep to climb. Not always, often there are ways up, but usually the tops of these walls just lead to a little bit of treasure, or a shortcut to another path.

Because of the way this game is laid out, it's a bit harder to navigate at first than the more open ended games out there. It also, and I think this is one of the game's shortcomings, it relies too heavily on the minimap. I am a known minimap hater, I think putting that much information in one corner of the screen only encourages people to spend more time looking at a tiny map than at the actual game. Even just wanting to know which way is north, has to be done with either the minimap, or the full map.

I much prefer games that have a “compass” line, because it takes up a lot less of the screen, and while useful, is not the sort of thing that you can just stare at instead of the game. The recent Zeldas are open enough that I could play hundreds of hours of them with the minimap turned off, and Elden Ring didn't have one at all. I tried turning off the minimap in Dragon's Dogma II (and I appreciate the option is at least there), but I just ended up pulling up the main map so frequently that I eventually relented, and turned the minimap back on. It certainly doesn't ruin the game by any stretch, but I really think it would be less intrusive to have a compass, or even just show icons in the world to draw my eye to objects in the world itself, instead of constantly looking to the lower left part of the screen. Which isn't to say none of the world in its core design draws the eyes, but it doesn't do so quite as explicitly as say the Zelda games do.

There is actually one interesting thing the game can do to help guide people without using the minimap. Pawns can now guide you to treasure chests, Riftstones, other points of interest, or even quest objectives. Assuming, of course, they have the requisite knowledge from previous adventures with other players. Your own Pawn can even gain knowledge from spending time with other players!

It's a really cool system, and one of the best Strand Game ideas out there. I don't remember if there was anything like this in the first game, but it feels new at least. Like many things, too much of it can get annoying, when Pawns keep pestering me about getting to a particular quest, when really I just want to explore. Thankfully simply having no quest selected will get them to stop that, but they will sometimes still chime in if you get near the objective for an untracked quest. Which is useful! Usually.

It's not a perfect system, however. Sometimes a Pawn will excitedly mention a cave I've not yet discovered, I'll tell them to lead the way, but then they'll completely forget about it after we get caught up fighting a group of enemies. Sometimes they might bring it up again, or hitting the “Go” command will remind them, but usually I just give up on being led to the thing they mentioned, and either continue searching on my own, or give it up for lost.

The Pawns were always the most unique thing about the first game, and not only do they still feel unique now, overall they've improved quite a bit. Some things are different, though. In the first game, Pawns would pick up habits based on what their player did. The one I always remember most clearly, because it was funny (and happened to me), was that if you spent too much time looting during combat instead of fighting...eventually your Pawn would too.

They can, however, learn new tactics based on what players do (and will comment letting you know they learned aught). For example, throwing a stunned goblin off a cliff, and to its death will be something your Pawn wouldn't have thought of doing prior. It's neat! And usually these sorts of “tactics” you only need to do once for the Pawn to pick up on it, and have the potential to do it on their own.

Now, rather than picking up habits over time, Pawns can have different dispositions, and specialties. My Pawn, Lisa (accidentally Lisa Lisa, because I used the same moniker and typed in name (of course referencing the JoJo's character)), was Kind and a Logistician. Kind means she prefers to stick close by, and is quick to aid me when needed (a good combo with her spending most of her time as a Mage, loaded with support and healing spells). Logistician, however, means she'll go into my inventory and automatically craft items from time to time, saving me the trouble of doing so. Now, did I really need that many healing items when she was doing a good job of covering the healing with magic? I certainly didn't mind having them in the few times I did need them, so I still think the combination worked.

Like the original, two additional Pawns can be summoned to fill out the party, and unless you're playing offline, the vast majority of these are going to be from other players. I did notice some made by Capcom, so no need to fear if the internet cuts out during play, which honestly did happen to me one day recently. Like the first game, recruiting Pawns higher level than you costs Rift Crystals, unless they're from someone on your friends list, then you can get one wildly over-leveled to pal around with from the start. Assuming you have a friend who has played more than you, which I didn't really. I called in a friend's Pawn for the early hours, but as her Pawn was only about level eight or nine, that wasn't too out there. Not like when I first played the original on PS3, and I had a friend's level 150 Pawn with me the entire game. I've become the DDII sicko in my friends group, so if anything it'll go the other way around this time.

But back to those disposition and specialties, aside from how they affect what Pawns do, this is one of the best improvements to this game. Why? Because Pawns are, if nothing else, very chatty people, and these give them so much more variety and personality. Pawns were always vital to the playing of DDI, because the game was balanced around a party of four, and they certainly added to its charm. While I absolutely heard many lines repeat, many times in DDII, there is such a higher quantity of them, and more variety in the voices, and intonations based on their dispositions. No, I couldn't tell you how many times I heard a Pawn ask if they were the first to notice everyone had different vocations in the party, but on the whole this is much better than DDI.

They're also just really funny and charming. Some of the humor is even intended! It doesn't suddenly feel like you're playing a Naughty Dog game with tightly scripted jokes and banter, but they add a ton to the game's charm. Sometimes I just think it's funny to have another Pawn make some comment about another Arisen they served, and have Lisa flatly reply, “fascinating,” her voice telling me she found it every bit as fascinating as I did (ie, not at all). But again, that's funny!

There's also a lot more things that Pawns can do generally than the first game. Some of them game play relevant, like they can catch you if a fall would damage you. Some are there just for fun, like holding up a hand after a fight for a walking high five. I was genuinely shocked the first time I saw that, and it just filled me with so much joy. It's such a little thing too, but it just gives the game so much more personality for it being there.

If I'm being honest, I don't remember developing all that much of an attachment to my Pawn in either of my playthroughs of DDI, whether on PS3 or PS4. I absolutely got attached to Lisa, and honestly even some of the recruited Pawns along the way grew on me, and I felt a little sad when we parted ways. Like the first game, recruited Pawns don't gain any XP, to encourage sending them back to their own worlds and replacing them. Even if the Pawns still feel like weirdos that aren't quite human (intentionally, I think), I'd still get attached to them after hours spent adventuring together. Whether because of a useful skill I forgot to check if their replacement had, or just a quirk about their voice and disposition combination that was particularly charming. Of course, swapping in some fresh faces just means new friends to make.

Speaking of fresh faces, this game's character creator is pretty great. I still, especially after that (bad) Saints Row reboot didn't have a gender selector, and just let you shape your character's body, find games that make you choose a feminine or masculine body a little...old fashioned. Though, once in game I don't think they ever directly gender your Arisen, so that's nice, nor do I think any of the armor is gender locked, unlike the original. Everyone gets called “Ser,” but given the different spelling I'll accept that as a gender neutral term (I have no idea what the history of that word is).

I don't, however, know if playing as the new Beastren race changes how any characters react to you. For the most part, there isn't that much “fantasy racism” in this game, but there's definitely a few characters who seem to have some prejudices, particularly against the Beastrens. But also other more “traditional” “fantasy racism,” like Elves and Dwarves not getting along. For example, there's a Dwarven blacksmith that has access to a substance an Elf (Doireann, who ended up being the NPC with the highest affection for me at the end) needed to restore an ancient, sacred tree. But Dwarves hate Elves, so much so that even when bribed with food, he still had to pretend to not want anything to do with her, and act it up so no one would think he was helping an Elf.

It's mostly just humans and Beastrens (yes, the plural people use in the game is an s at the end, it felt weird to me), to be clear. There's one village of Elves tucked away in a forest, and there's a few Dwarves living in Bakbattahl, but that's mostly it. I think, at least, it's possible some NPCs that I just thought were short (or children) might have been Dwarves. Most of the Elves don't speak English, so you need a Pawn who can interpret to communicate with them. But to be honest, aside from the leader of the Elves, the only ones you need to speak with for quests know English. Doireann says she doesn't know it fluently (which plays into her quest as she doesn't know the English word for something), but her bother Glyndwr does, and he was the first Elf I met in the game.

In addition to the world itself being more interesting to explore, the world in a story/lore context is also a lot more interesting this time around. As is the main narrative itself. Like, I don't think it's anything revolutionary, or award winning, but compared to the first game? This doesn't feel the least bit half-assed, and even when it gets to its wildest points, it does not end up feeling utterly insane like the first game, it feels more like a natural extension and conclusion of what the game had been building toward.

My memory of the story in the first game is that after becoming Arisen (by having The Dragon steal your heart and resurrect you, naturally), you just do a series of seemingly unconnected quests before The Dragon kidnaps the NPC the game has decided is your significant other, but without really ever telling you that was a system to be concerned with. Then you go fight and defeat The Dragon, the world falls apart as its true nature is revealed, and finally...I won't spoil what happens at the very end for anyone who still doesn't know. Like I said, “utterly insane” is the most succinct way to describe it.

DDII begins with the Arisen imprisoned, forced to do slave labor, until a ghostly figure arrives, and influences events to allow their escape. Upon returning to Vermund, where the Arisen is the rightful Sovran of the land, it turns out that the Queen Regent Disa has used a false Arisen as a puppet so she can maintain control. Now, with Captain Brant as the only person on the inside that believes you to be the true Arisen, the two of you have to navigate her web of political intrigue and both build support to prove you to be the true Arisen, and also uncover the true depths of Disa's plans. Including what it has to do with the neighboring kingdom of Battahl, with whom Vermund has no official dealings with.

Now, I'll be honest, I'm making that sound a bit deeper and more complicated than what you actually do. Brant will say you need to infiltrate the castle and search Disa's room for evidence, but that amounts to just taking the side entrance (guided there by a guard loyal to Brant), then strolling through up to her office. Yes, the guards will put up a stink if you try to come in through the castle's front door, but they won't stop you, or say a word if they see you inside. It's a bit silly, and game play wise, feels half-baked. But to be honest, I'd take this over it attempting to be a stealth game and getting frustrating. I have too many bad memories of trying to sneak into Hyrule castle in Ocarina of Time.

I can see how people could play this game and find the story underwhelming, but again, I cannot stress enough how much better it is than the first game. Leaps and bounds. This game has characters that I liked. With motivations. It has political intrigue. It kept me interested. The whole way through! It feels thematically consistent! There's side quests connected to each other that have worthwhile smaller narratives! I romanced multiple characters (both of the two (2) characters with romance scenes are women, making this a “game probably intended with male characters in mind so that leads to 'accidental' lesbianism”)! In addition to all the people who had crushes on me. I referred to Dorieann as Elf-girlfriend and Glyndwr as Elf-boyfriend, though them being siblings would make any sort of actual attempt at polyamory...weird(???) so it's probably good the game doesn't have any sort of concrete “romance anyone” system, just NPCs that blush when they like you a lot. That, to be honest, is pretty cute.

Then of course, there's the thing that was always great in DDI, and I think is even better here: The combat. For all its issues, design wonkiness, repetitive NPCs, half-assed story, bad graphics, and framerate so bad they letterboxed the game to try to salvage it, fighting enemies has always been fun in Dragon's Dogma. Gangs of regular goblins and flocks of harpies could get a little old (and honestly it does at times in II), but there was just something about stumbling upon a giant Cyclops, or having a Griffin descend from the heavens that felt, to use the word I rarely used even back in 2013, epic. There really was not anything else quite like it, particularly with being able to just climb up any part of larger enemies, to get at their weak spots.

It wasn't perfect, though. DDI had a vocation system, with three basic options, an advanced version of each, and three hybrids. Fighter, Mage, and Ranger. The problem is the Ranger vocations (especially Magick Archer) were just too versatile. They had daggers for close range melee attacks, the bow for longer range, and were speedy and quick, so they just felt more fun to play than the others. For me, at least, personal taste is what it is, after all.

Yet, I know I'm not the only person who played that game almost entirely with Ranger classes, and then just stuck with Magick Archer after unlocking it. Or, at most, leveling up other vocations to get specific augments that carry over, and provide passive bonuses. Then going straight back to knifing and (magick) arrowing.

DDII, however, made the smart decision to separate Ranger into Thief and Archer, with Thief getting the daggers but no ranged attacks, and Archer getting the bow, but no melee beyond a simple kick (and a less simple dropkick into cool back flip, but it's cooler than it is useful). I was initially a little bummed when I saw this prior to release, but then I remembered how Magick Archer was too good for the overall balance of the game, so I knew it was the right decision. Having played it, I think it was the smartest thing they could do, because not only does it encourage me to switch and spend much more time with more vocations, but it also let them flesh out the daggers and bow moreso than the first game, as they now had to stand on their own.

Of course with the new Warfarer vocation you could technically still swap between the two on the fly, but...well, I dunno how good Warfarer really is? Or, I should say it's a lot more limiting than I was hoping. You can use it to theoretically swap through every vocation in the game, but you can still only have four skills equipped (mapped to face buttons) at a time. And if you want to swap between vocations on the fly, you need to dedicate one of those precious four skills to that. Unless you don't mind pausing the game to go into the equipment screen and change it there. Not exactly seamless.

Even then, a lot of what makes the different vocations sing are these skills. Mystic Spearhand, another new one, really only works with several of those skills equipped. Honestly, I wish I could have more than four at once! It's my favorite vocation in DDII, with it being able to give the Arisen and their Pawns a temporary shield that blocks all enemy attacks, in addition to some cool attacks of their own. Some are more funny than useful, like Jedi Force throwing objects (or dead enemies) into live enemies, or just home run batting small enemies miles into the distance. But it can be a really stamina hungry vocation (especially the ultimate Maister technique), so it's be hard to play without the skill that just siphons stamina out of enemies. So the idea of playing this with Warfarer, and only having one of these skills? That doesn't really appeal to me.

Particularly after realizing that Warfarer, as far as I can tell, can't equip Maister skills. Maisters are the masters of each individual vocation, and each requires doing something for them to get a scroll used to unlock their special, ultimate technique. For example, the ultimate thief skill puts the Arisen into a Goku Ultra Instinct state where, at the expense of constantly draining stamina, they will just automatically dodge any and all enemy attacks. The Mystic Spearhand's is a long combo of hits with the Arisen and a spectral copy of themself (like Vergil's Stand in the DMC games). The one for Warfarer is actually the skill that allows for weapon swapping without going into the menu, and sadly I don't actually have this yet! As of this writing, at least.

Another issue being the skills can only be changed at either a vocation guild representative, or at a campfire (a whole other addition I still haven't gotten to!), so it's not like they can be swapped on the fly. I'm sure there's great Warfarer builds out there, but for me I've really only used it for more practical things. Like, Mages get a hover ability added to their jump, so I will play “Warfarer,” but use all skills from one vocation (I've been leveling up Magick Archer, so doing that), and just carry a magic staff to equip if there's a jump I can't make without that hover.

The other totally new vocation is Trickster, which is an odd one. They effectively can't do damage on their own, instead they use a combination of smoke from a thingy on a chain, and a ghostly copy of themself they summon to...trick the enemies. The smoke draws their attention to the Arisen, but with the copy out, they attack that instead. However, if the copy is attached to an enemy, that enemy gets attacked, and thus the enemies are tricked into fighting themselves.

It's neat, and I did level it up all the way, but I still feel like I never got a great handle on it. Too many times I would end up getting ganged up on because the copy didn't actually attach, or the enemy died too quickly. It also didn't seem that great fighting single, larger monsters? There's other abilities too, like buffing Pawns, or various different things to trick enemies (creating a ghostly wall the Arisen can walk through, but enemies think is real), but I dunno. Again, I'm sure there's ways to make it really work, but I prefer the vocations more focused on just fighting.

As for the magic casting, while I think it's definitely better than it was in the first game, it's still lower on my list of preferred vocations. Which is fine! There's more than enough fun melee vocations in this game to keep me happy, as the archery is good for ranged. Being able to move while casting, or expend more stamina to charge faster does make it much more enjoyable (I don't think those were in the first game but don't get mad at me if I'm wrong).

There's still so much more I haven't mentioned, too! The change to the health system, where now you need to rest to fully restore the bits of health lost over time. I didn't really even mention how many caves, and other hidden areas around the game are core to what makes exploring it so worthwhile. How dark it gets at night, and just how much more dangerous it gets because of it. Not just because it's harder to see (though that's part of it), also because once the sun sets, the dead rise, and it's not like the daytime monsters aren't threats still (though some enemies will sleep, at night or at day). And the lighting is so good that sometimes it can get real dark during the day, because the trees overhead are so thick they block a ton of light.

These aren't just disconnected systems, they all play together to make this game something special. Yes, the original could get dark, absolutely pitch black at night. But rarely did I ever find myself out at night there, I almost always managed to get back to a safe place to rest. And by the time I did find myself out at night, it was deep enough into the game that I could handle the extra threats.

In DDII, exploration is so much more worthwhile, that frequently I'd be out, and suddenly realize it was getting dark. Keeping the lantern lit was never an issue (I only had to refill its oil like, three or four times across 73 hours, and unlike real life, you can get infinite oil here), but managing to survive the nighttime onslaught was. Often I'd have taken enough damage that it'd be worthwhile to get my health back up to full (the Pawns' as well), so, I'd have to make camp. Ideally then watch a live action video of real meat cooking to get stat bonuses the next day, before spending the night, and hopefully not getting jumped by goblins before dawn.

In addition to this being a well designed game play loop, it also just helps reinforce that feeling of being on an adventure in a vast land. No one has it in them to keep going forever, eventually you need to rest. Whether that's at a campsite in the wild, or back at home in town. Both Vernworth and Bakbattahl have houses for sale, though I never saw any reason to buy the way more expensive ones. The cheaper ones though, absolutely. They'll pay for themselves eventually, relative to what it would cost to rest at inns. Plus, they're cozy.

That's also, whether at inn or at home, important to rest at. For one thing, your Pawn will only report back about their adventures with other players when resting at home/inn. I'm not sure why they don't at campfires, but they don't. The main reason though, is because the game keeps those saves (or save, singular) separate from the other save. Yes, the game lets you save anywhere (and I'm glad it does), but it's the same file as the autosave, so there's no save scumming...

Unless...

The game does let you reload “from last inn save” (or house, again, it doesn't say it but it counts), so it is technically possible to do some shenanigans if you really want to.

Which, does kind of lead me to something I wish they would change. You can only have one character, at least without using another profile at a system level. I get the intent is probably to make people commit, and prevent save shenanigans, but like...that's still possible. If you're good about resting at inns/houses, and you're patient, you can absolutely undo and redo stuff. All this really does it make it so that if I want to start a whole new game, I need to either go through the trouble of creating a second account on my PS5, or completely erase and throw away my existing Arisen, Pawn, and all the time I've put in to level up and collect stuff.

You might be wondering why I would want to start a new character. The reason being, I want to play more of this game, but I'm way over-leveled now. NG+ doesn't seem to do anything to scale enemies up, so until I get back to the end game, I'm just kinda blowing through everything. It's fine for seeing stuff I missed the first time through (technically I didn't get Magick Archer or Warfarer from the quests that are supposed to give them, the game just gave them to me out of pity), but robs the game of its fun challenge.

So, either let me make a new Arisen in a new world without destroying what I have, or put in a hard mode or something. Or add something like Dark Arisen, a new chunk of content intended for end game characters, and give me something tough to fight!

Hopefully they do. I'd buy that. Genuinely, with my experiences with the first game being entirely the Dark Arisen version, DDII does kind of feel like it's missing something by not having an equivalent. The new dungeon in Dark Arisen was probably the best part of that game. Just a really well designed dungeon that was fun to plumb the depths of, getting deeper and deeper, periodically returning to open up new shortcuts, resupply, upgrade stuff, etc. Before going back in, and braving the monstrosities within.

I'm not saying I want DDII to have an expansion that's exactly the same format (though I wouldn't complain), but just something. Maybe a little more open ended, since the exploration is so fun in this game. A whole new landmass is probably outside the realm of what's realistic to expect, but I just hope they do something. Especially now that Capcom understands the concept of expansions for existing games, rather than selling a new version with extra content. I'd rather pay $40 for a bigh DLC than $70 to buy the whole game again with extra stuff.

Yes, the end game can be pretty tough, more so in the quantity of enemies they throw at you at once. At one point, before I decided to just focus on doing the main stuff to finish the game, I had just left Bakbattahl, and within a few hundred feet of the city, wound up in one of the most ridiculous fights I'd fought in the game. Normally it's just a handful of goblins in this area, but now there was also a necromancer ghost(? I dunno what this enemy is called) summoning skeletons, and a dragon. And as if that wasn't enough, then a GRIFFIN decided to join the fray!

Like, for the most part I love moments like this in the game. Nothing hits quite the same as seeing an enormous shadow pass by overhead, only to hear a horrifying scream and see the beak and claws of a Griffin barreling down at me. But in this specific case, it was all too much, and I ended up restarting from the last save (they also change the end game so after dying you can only reload from last inn/house save, which I DID NOT REALIZE AT FIRST), and just running by all that nonsense before I got caught up in it.

So, I definitely have things I could say about the end game, and all that, but I think I've gone on long enough about everything else. The only thing I'll say is, a lot of people have made a lot about how the title screen of this game just says “Dragon's Dogma,” conspicuously leaving out the II. I won't say anything else, other than there's a reason for this. Why, or what else they do with it, I leave to the readers to discover on their own.

And I really, cannot recommend this game enough. Don't let people scare you away from it, it's really not that hardcore or extreme. If anything I wish it was harder, just in terms of the difficulty of the enemies. Or at least the game had an option to make it harder, and an easy mode while we're at it, because why not? Sincerely, this game, if anything, is easier and less “hardcore” than something like Elden Ring, which was an enormous hit. It autosaves frequently, and lets you manually save just about anywhere, so there's never much threat of actually losing progress. And if I hadn't been so stingy with Wakestones, I could have just revived mid fight (also completely refilling the health bar) and not lost any progress.

Yes, there are some quests with a limited time to complete them, but they're by far the minority. And it's always pretty clear when that's the case. Like, of course the kid you need to rescue from wolves needs to be rescued quickly, wolves are trying to eat him. Yes, you still need to lug Portcrystals around (because there's not many permanent crystals), and expend Ferrystones to fast travel, but exploring the world is what makes this game so much fun. That, and with the oxcarts traveling between towns, there is so much more fast travel, accessible so much earlier on than in the first game, that I think anyone complaining about fast travel in this game is just impatient. Learn to stop and smell the roses, or go out and touch grass, as the kids say.

The journey is the point. Don't rush through it.

As far as the Dragonsplague goes, despite my Pawns worrying about it the entire way through (thus making me anxious about it), I didn't actually encounter it until almost seventy hours into the game, and when I did, the game gave me a full screen tutorial explaining it. If I really wanted to, I could have just abused my home save to avoid it altogether, but I wanted to see what happened. What happened was, just as my Pawns had been warning me for dozens of hours, the symptoms were incredibly obvious, so I simply dismissed the Pawn in question before he could do any harm.

An ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure, as my Pawns are wont to say, after all.

Dragon's Dogma II is one of the best sequels I've ever played. It understands what the good parts of the original were, what its failings were, and improves upon all of them. And, because it's a standalone story/world, you don't need to have played the first one to enjoy this one. It still manages to feel unique, and I'm so happy it got made. For so many years it felt like something that would never happen, so for it to genuinely be one of the best games I've played in recent years? I'm just over the moon.

If you're reading this, and made it all the way to the end, you should probably play this game. It can be pretty long, so I get for anyone who doesn't have the time for long games, but I still think, maybe in the future once there's some sales, it's worth trying. Who knows, maybe it'll speak to you like it did me.

So, now, just to go back, get the Platinum Trophy, wait to see if they do that expansion, and then, finally ask the new question on my mind...

When's Dragon's Dogma III?

Back in 2020, I went into Final Fantasy VII Remake knowing about as little about the original as a person could. At least while still knowing what Final Fantasy is. I had an absolute blast with it, it ended up being not only one of my favorite games that year, but what I at one point described as the, “best remake in the history of remakes.” It was the first chapter in a retelling, or more accurately reimagining of a classic game that by all accounts, was loved by both fans of the original, and newcomers like me.

It had a great cast of characters, phenomenal combat, a super interesting world, and a great story about fighting against an evil corporation literally sucking the planet dry. Even the DLC, that “New Story Content Featuring Yuffie” was really good! But before the DLC, the base game's ending just left my imagination running wild. Anything felt possible in the Untold Journey to come, and I couldn't wait to see it. As I said, I played the DLC, and I even replayed through the whole game (this time on the PS5 version so Cloud's door texture loaded properly) a couple years ago to help keep the game fresh in my mind.

It's been four years since Remake released, which on the timescale of modern game development, is almost shockingly fast. At least for a game of this scale. Even the studio credited it with their being able to keep about 90% of Remake's staff on to work on Rebirth, which is probably telling about the nature of the games industry that keeping that many people is a rare occurrence.

So, unlike Remake, which I played because I thought it looked cool, Rebirth I went into with a mountain of expectations. This time, I know and love these characters. I was already emotionally invested in at least the main four, Cloud, Aerith, Barret, and Tifa. But still, knowing almost nothing about what would happen along this Untold Journey, because I still haven't played the original.

So, here's the thing. I don't want to entirely say how I feel about Rebirth is because of expectations that I didn't have going into Remake, but I'd be lying if I said they weren't a factor. That said, if Remake left me feeling like anything was possible, feeling like the only thing holding it back from being a masterpiece was some tedious sections of filler, Rebirth...well, my expectations for Reunion, or whatever they end up calling the third one (I like to jokingly think it'll be Revengeance), are a lot more realistic.

So, two things I want to say up front. First, is that after I talk about the game part of this game, and get into the story, there's going to be spoilers. I can't not talk about what left me frustrated with Rebirth's ending without...writing about the ending. The second thing I want to say is, this is a game where I spent over one hundred hours playing (according to the in game clock, almost exactly the same 107 hours I spent playing Infinite Wealth, somehow), and as a whole, I still had a great time with Rebirth.

In terms of game design, the biggest shift from Remake to Rebirth is a much more open ended, but not quite open world design. Remake was both very linear, and very limited in its scope. There were sections of downtime, with side quests, and technically areas where Cloud and company could explore, but they were all pretty small, and cramped. Which made sense, the game was set in the underside of a dystopian city, down in the slums. That constrained feeling was exactly what that sort of setting was meant to convey. Then between these “doing side quests” parts of the game, it's unflinchingly linear, to the point where at times it could get tedious. Less because of the linearity, and more because of boring level design in say, the sewers, or those tunnels with the big robot hands.

Rebirth still has more linear story sections, but even those tend to have a bit more in the way of alternate paths, or little side rooms to poke into than I remember Remake having. They're also, aside from one in particular, not tedious like Remake was at its lowest points. That said, the one tedious part I'm thinking of in Rebirth, which involves throwing boxes and having to fight a miniboss with only one character, who also happened to be the one character I disliked playing as, that part is pretty bad. And it was like eighty hours into the game.

The bulk of the game, at least in terms of quantity, is spent in the open ended regions. Technically speaking they are all connected, and by the end game when a certain vehicle is unlocked for use, they can be traveled between more or less seamlessly, but only entered via certain docking points. But for all intents and purposes, the game is divided into fairly large, but still constrained areas, which can be freely explored, and have plenty of side stuff to do.

I will say, going from the cramped corridors of Midgar in Remake, to these open regions, it feels radically different. Again, in the way it should. There's definitely a feeling of freedom, and a bit of awe and wonder at seeing there's still natural life out in the world. A brief moment of respite before realizing the world is only barely holding on, clinging on with what little it has left, while the heroes continue their Untold Journey to presumably save the planet... After doing a bunch of side stuff, anyway.

Now, here's the thing. This side stuff? The majority of it is super generic, copy and paste type Capital C Content. Climb towers to get more icons on the map, complete combat challenges to unlock VR combat challenges, do a button timing minigame to make the summon boss fights easier, follow an owl to a crystal like it's a hyperactive version of those birds in Ghost of Tsushima, etc. Or follow the baby Chocobo to Chocobo stops to unlock those for fast travel, or resting. Really the reward there is being able to pet the baby Chocobo.

Aside from the quests to find each region's proto-relic, these are all basically the same across every region of the game. Yet...I did all of them. In every region. And I enjoyed doing them, too! So like, can I really in good faith complain about how generic the game design is if it went and did it all? I guess I did miss one Chocobo stop, which I feel bad about. That poor baby Chocobo...

Which, honestly, I feel bad for those baby Chocobos in general. They're just babies, and all they know is waiting near Chocobo stops, hoping someone comes by to keep them company, if only for a short while. What a lonely existence that must be. Waiting at rest stops in a dying world, just to give weary travelers a brief moment of respite along the hard road ahead. The only joy in their life being when Cloud comes and interacts with them. Also one of the few things in the game that makes Cloud smile, which is sad too.

To go along with more open ended areas, there's a bit more in the way of traversal systems in Rebirth than Remake. More climbing and jumping off of things. No dedicated jump button, though. Mantling up stuff is fine, but there's Uncharted-esque climbing up the now infamous “yellow paint” handholds, and those are where all the tedium from Remake came to roost. Even holding R2 to climb faster, is just needlessly slow and cumbersome. What's worse is that this game has a couple different grappling hooks, including one that just zooms up to the spot grappled to, but it's only usable in one story sequence. That could have made climbing up these areas so much faster. But no. Maybe in Reunion?

There's adult Chocobos too, for riding about. In some regions they have special abilities, like climbing up sheer cliffs, or gliding. That's neat, and I appreciate that every region has a different version of the Chocobo theme. My only issue is the camera. Rebirth does have options for how far the camera is pulled back, but I don't think it affects Chocobo riding. The real issue isn't how far away it is from Cloud though, it's the height. It's right at level with the Chocobo's butt, which makes it hard to see ahead of Cloud. Especially when the entire party is also riding Chocobos, and the active party members tend to ride close enough to Cloud to obscure the camera even more.

I don't know how much of this side stuff is “required” to be done. Technically zero, I would assume, but since it's a game with leveling up, I also assume doing none of it would leave the party under-leveled for the story. I ended up doing just that in the first region, for reasons related to my not understanding the layout of the Grasslands on the map, and that first big boss fight (the snake) was so difficult I'm not sure how I managed to scrape through. Even using several Phoenix Downs, by the end I had only Cloud up, and I was kind of hoping I would die so I could give the fight another, better shot. Yet I managed it, somehow.

So, I don't know how much side stuff, if any, is required to keep pace with the main story. Part of that is that I played on Dynamic difficulty. The in game description is a bit odd, but according to what I read online, the intent of it is to scale enemy levels up to prevent over-leveling by doing too much side stuff. I don't really know what it does or doesn't scale, but I do know that the boss fights remained challenging throughout, but a lot of fights against random enemies out in the world were pretty easy. I dunno, but it kept the big climactic fights feeling big and climactic, so it did what I wanted it to. Happy with that, especially since Hard isn't unlocked until after finishing the game, and like in Remake, it sounds like too much. Can't use items at all?? Rest spots don't refill MP???

Spending so much time doing so much side stuff, which again to an extent is on me, but it doesn't really help with the game's pacing. Remake, at its absolute longest, is only about forty hours long. Again, that's with taking time to do all the side quests, all of Chadley's VR missions (and boy do I have things to say about Chadley in Rebirth), and all the minigames (of which there are far more in Rebirth). Because of that “short” length, Remake feels much better paced than Rebirth. That was a game with a good sense of momentum, and that helped it feel propulsive in a way that Rebirth usually doesn't.

Frequently I would go hours and hours at a time just doing side stuff. Exploring the vast new world beyond the confines of the big city from Remake. And again, I enjoyed it, I like when games let me spend a whole afternoon just wandering around doing side stuff. But it's also the sort of thing that I didn't realize until pretty far it, that was making it a bit harder to follow what was going on, and often went against the urgency that the characters were expressing in their dialog. Not that that's anything new for video games.

At least it doesn't really try to shame you into doing the side quests like Remake did. When I replayed Remake, I went in with the intent of skipping the side quests, because I didn't really like many of them...but then I felt bad and did them all anyway. Again. I will say that on the whole, the side quests are better in Rebirth. That's not to say they're all great, or all worth doing, but they're better.

So, something I didn't mention about how the side stuff works is that aside from the Chocobo stops, all the generic stuff (and proto-relics) feeds into World Intel. That's basically just a progress bar for each region that Chadley set up, for research. In other words, Chadley is keeping track of that stuff, and also the one who chimes in over the “Chadley Module” to give updates. Since that's a lot to keep track of, Chadley created an AI assistant to help, specifically for the combat challenges.

This AI assistant, named Mai is...just a gender swapped version of Chadley. Different voice actor, but otherwise she just looks like Chadley with longer hair. Given this happens mere days after Cloud's cross-dressing escapade, for which Chadley was there (and completely smitten with Cloud), I just, am obsessed with this. I cannot get over how trans this is, especially because I assume it's completely accidental?? All Chadley does is bicker with Mai, and complain about how chatty she is, when like, who created her, Chadley?? Why did you give her such a bubbly and talkative personality when you have all the charisma of calculator???

There's another revelation about Chadley later in the game that I won't spoil. Technically it's tied to side stuff, and only (very heavily) implied, but I definitely saw it coming a mile away. Either way, it just makes this whole thing even more bizarre. Anyway, Chadley is trans, and if the devs aren't cowards they'll have her come out in the next game.

Speaking of, this really doesn't warrant even this much of a mention, but there are at least queer NPCs in this game. Not that I think it even should qualify as “representation” when there's gay dialog to be overheard from unnamed NPCs, but it's better than the fat nothing in Infinite Wealth. And I don't think it's just dialog that could have been changed in the localization, there's definitely same gender couples walking around doing couple things in the background of this game. But let me reiterate myself, doing the bare minimum shouldn't be rewarded. Though I suppose it should be acknowledged when other games can't even meet that lowest of low bars.

There are a lot of minigames, some of which are pretty good (the Chocobo racing is fun), one of which actively hurt my fingers (they managed to make the gym minigame harder), and then there's Queen's Blood. The card game. It's there. I didn't like it. I avoided it as much as I could, but that's just me.

Then there's the combat, the one area of Remake that was done so well that I wasn't sure what, if anything they could do to improve it. Somehow, they did! A lot of it is smaller changes, little additions or reworks to existing abilities. Now Cloud has a ranged attack after dodging, there's new Materia that can have multiple spell types (fire and ice, for example (also the “apply element to weapon Materia” combined with that gives both elements at once to attacks, so that's rad), and other things like that. Each character has a proper skill tree now, rather than weapon specific upgrades. The weapons just get slots with different passive bonuses instead, which is a better system. Makes more sense to have things like bonus health or unlocking new special moves on a proper skill tree (that can be respecced for free, just only at specific locations).

The biggest additions to the combat are the ability to actually decide who's in the active party (outside of specific story sequences), and Synergy Skills/Abilities. And these are related, since the Synergy moves are team-ups with the other party members. Skills are basic moves that can be done whenever, and Abilities are stronger ones that need to be charged up by using anything that requires an Active Time Battle segment.

Everyone has both defensive and offensive Skills, and which ones depend on who's in the active party. Cloud, for instance, can reflect Barret's shots at enemies (for extra damage? I dunno, haha, but it's cool), or have Aerith imbue his sword with magic for an extra strong attack. Defensively, I think everyone lets him counter ranged attacks, which his regular counter can't. They're not all unique, I think Cloud only has the two types of offensive Skills, for example. For Tifa, they either send her flying forward into enemies, or up into the air, to air combo flying enemies (and I think knock ground ones up too?). And her defensive skill is kind of a dodge and counter move.

The Abilities are more akin to Limit Breaks, super powerful and play mini-cutscenes when they happen. They can have a variety of effects, from just doing straight damage, to adding an extra bar to their ATB meters, to raising their Limits so they can do more powerful Limit Breaks (there's up to level 3s in the game, but I never actually managed to use them). They're just fun to watch too, my favorite being Aerith and Barret's Sweet and Sour Salvo, where they both put on sunglasses and do a cool pose before unloading magic and bullets onto their target.

Needless to say, the combat is still one of the highlights here. Once again, I'm not really sure what they could do to further enhance it for the next game. The only thing I can think of is it would be nice to be able to swap party members mid-fight. As it is, the others just stand around the edges pretending to fight (you can see ranged characters shooting projectiles, but I dunno if they do any damage). If you're down to one character left, you get an emergency Synergy Ability with whoever is on the sidelines, but being able to just bring people in and out would be more useful.

Also, the game does have three slots to save party loadouts, and while it's easy to swap between those when exploring, it's a bit more tedious to go into the menus and change who's in those loadouts. There's a lot of people in the party as a whole, and it was just tedious enough to make me lean on a couple groups. Mostly Barret and Yuffie (Cloud is required), because Barret is just too useful as a tank, and Yuffie is great both close up and ranged. She has all the elements covered without even needing Materia too, so again, just too useful. Though I guess I could have invested more points into the elemental skills that don't require MP or Materia on the skill trees, that would be another viable way to make sure more people have all that covered.

One more thing about the Synergy stuff. It's cool from a game play perspective, but also team up moves are just cool! What's the point of being a team if everyone is only going to fight on their own? Even in this game, it's still pretty easy to end up in situations where I'm sticking with Cloud, fighting an enemy while the AI controlled party members are keeping the other enemies busy (or defeating them!).

Which, yes, I often don't switch around characters as much as I should, but the game knows people have a tendency to do stuff like that. That's why I liked the Materia that lets AI characters use their bespoke skills, like Barret firing Overcharge on his own. That's part of why he's such a good tank, using the weapon that gives him Protect every time he uses that skill, combined with other passives that recharge Overcharge faster, and extend how long buffs on him last. So he's just constantly buffing his defense without my needing to tell him too.

But, that wasn't the point, the point I was trying to make is that it's nice to at least have the option to do the team up moves. They're good too, honestly even as much as I used them, I probably should have more.

If I have any complaint about the combat, it's that too many boss fights (mostly optional but at least the final boss did this) rely too heavily on, “you took too long, so here's a move that will almost certainly wipe the party.” I have had times when Barret survived, but when it's in the simulator and I can't revive with Phoenix Downs, finishing those Summon bosses at max strength with just Barret...didn't seem possible. I'm sure someone could manage it, but not me. Maybe that's also an argument for putting the Raise spell on Barret instead of Aerith but...too late now! Perhaps I can get another orb of that and give it to Barret if I ever replay Rebirth (I probably will before Reunion).

I get it, they want to test that you can do damage efficiently, and not use attrition, but it's frustrating. Maybe relying on Barret to tank, instead of going for straight damage on everyone is the problem. Just be better at dodging, and timing the perfect block to take zero damage (which I think is new to Rebirth?). Simply play perfectly!

Anyway, I didn't end up doing the hardest end game bosses because they just seemed like a bit too much to be fighting multiple of the already hard on their own Summon bosses. At once.

So, that covers the combat, and brings me to another highlight, the characters. While I don't think the side characters in Rebirth are as compelling as Jessie, Biggs, or Wedge from Remake, the main cast are as strong as ever, and in some cases even stronger than before. I'm looking at Barret specifically. Now, I already liked Barret a lot in Remake, but going back and reading what I wrote in 2020, I made sure then to at least acknowledge the issues people raised about his playing into certain black stereotypes. Mainly (if I recall) that he's kind of a loudmouth, and pretty angry.

That wasn't all he was, the core of his character is someone who wants to save the planet, and someone who wants to protect his daughter Marlene. In Rebirth, at least for the story sequences, I think there's a much better balance here, where he has even more depth than before, and he doesn't really go as over the top as he did in Remake. He does still yell things like “suck it” during combat, but I think that's just the game reusing stuff from Remake.

Seriously though, some of the best, most gripping parts of the story revolve around Barret, even if ultimately they're just smaller side stories that happen along the way to the main narrative. More is revealed about his past, and about Marlene. I'm not exaggerating when I say there was one sequence where he's confronted by someone from his past that left me almost in tears. It's just a really emotional sequence that had me riveted, and I really felt for him in that moment.

It's not all serious tear jerking moments either. There's a couple sequences at the Golden Saucer (an amusement park) where most of the party splits off to do their own thing, but one character comes along with Cloud. Who that is, is determined by whoever has the highest affinity for Cloud in the moment (after finishing the game, there's a chapter select that lets you manually choose who, though I didn't mess around with it). I didn't realize in the moment that was how those parts worked, they both just felt so natural that I assumed that's just what those sequences were. For context, I had Aerith the first time in the Saucer, but then Barret later on. Yes, I rode the Skywheel with him, it was nice. Moments like that are really sweet, and funny too.

Then there's Costa Del Sol, somehow the second tropical resort to appear in a big budget JRPG this year! There's even faux-Segways too, though I think the ones in Infinite Wealth controlled better, and were more useful. The Costa Del Sol section is a fun (literal) beach episode, but it's not quite a large enough area to justify doing any more than walking. When I say it's a beach episode, the progression is quite literally, “do some minigames to get beach appropriate clothing for Cloud because of the 'dress code' on the beach, then go do different minigames with Aerith and Tifa to get them swimwear too.” It's silly, but it's cute, and funny, and I like that the game dedicates so much time to lighter things like this.

Now, I think I've said just about everything I can without really getting into the story. But! There's general stuff I can say before getting into the SPOILER ZONE, so you don't need to check out just yet.

So, I know earlier I said the more open ended design, with way more side stuff meant I was going long stretches without touching the story. That's true, but a lot of the story sequences are also really long, hours of focused, linear sections in the game that feel more like Remake. When this game is focused on the story, it can be incredibly captivating. There were quite a few times where I was really on the edge of my seat, simultaneously needing to keep pushing forward and see what was going to happen next, while also dreading what the game was foreshadowing. And with good reason, this game surprised me at points with what was going on, and how far it goes with stuff.

But, the end left me...kind of befuddled? That's the word I had in my notes from when I was figuring out what to write here, haha, but it fits. Doesn't get used as much as it should these days. Anyway, this is now the point where I have to activate SPOILER MODE. Seriously, this is about the end of the game. Anyone who knows anything about the original game can probably guess what this is about, but genuinely for those who haven't played the game or gotten there yet, I...just play the game. There's a strong chance you might not like the ending, but it should at least be seen for those who care, and not read in a blog.

SPOILER ZONE.

So, before I get to the thing, there's a couple through lines across the game that lead up to the big moment. One of which is one of the most gripping parts of the narrative, and the thing that often filled me with dread. I'll get to that second, first...is the multiverse stuff.

I went back and read what I wrote in 2020, and sadly I had a theory of what was going on then that I like better than is in this game. My theory was that the Sephiroth in Remake was actually from another timeline, another universe, whatever, and he came over and started manipulating events to change them to suit his plan, whatever that was. Rebirth clarifies though, the multiverse only came into being after the concept of Destiny was destroyed at the end of Remake. And, you know, that's fine, I guess, but it just brings me to the question of why they're doing all this multiverse stuff in the first place?

Why is Zack here? No, really, what is the point of the Zack sequences in this game? Yes, it's nice to see Elmyra, and Marlene, and Biggs again. But these aren't the Elmyra and Marlene from the first game, right? Biggs though, I'm pretty sure he is the Biggs from the first game, just brought over into the other universe. Somehow? I mean, the how is irrelevant, it's fantasy, it's right in the name.

Maybe I'm over thinking, and the point of the Zack sequences is just to spend more time with Zack, who maybe I would care about if I had played the Crisis Core remaster. I guess that's my bad for skipping that because I heard it was just a straight remaster, and not directly tied into the Remake trilogy. Or maybe it's to show how bad things will get if the planet isn't saved, or maybe it's just to spend more time with those other characters.

But ultimately, by the end Zack just shows up to help fight Sephiroth, then goes back to his own universe again, I guess? Again, this is partly on me for spending so much time over the years thinking about what might happen in this game, but I'd say it's also the games' fault for having a good enough story that I wanted to theorize! Anyway, prior to playing Rebirth, a theory I had about the Zack stuff at the end of Remake was that instead of killing Aerith, they were going to end up killing Cloud. Then Zack would replace him in the third game. They're both SOLDIERs, and while there are some differences in their special moves, they're similar enough.

The other through line, is the whole thing with Cloud, the robed figures, and what's going on with all that. Some of it is pretty silly, like the point where the horny biker guy is normal one second, then falls to the ground and magically has one of those robes on the next. But it's also sad, because it turns out that these robed figures are a combination of suffering from Mako poisoning, and more generally the long term effects of the “enhancements” to become SOLDIERs. It turns out messing with with people on that deep a level to give them super strength and agility has some long term negative effects. In this case, the eventual degradation of both their bodies, and their minds.

Cloud, for game play reasons, doesn't really ever see it affect his body (or at least hasn't yet), but certainly has in his mind. Forgetting things (in some cases tragic memories that he may have also suppressed because they were so traumatic), and at points, losing control over himself, because there's another angle to the robed figures.

They aren't just falling into poor health, they're being manipulated by Sephiroth. For reasons that I'm not entirely sure of (probably his connection to Jenova?), he can influence, and direct any of these robed figures. To a certain extent, Cloud too. He can't fully control Cloud, and by the end Cloud (seemingly?) breaks free, but he pushes and manipulates Cloud a lot. At one point he has enough control over Cloud that he almost kills Tifa. Especially after that, I was really dreading that Sephiroth was going to make Cloud kill Aerith, which...

But before I get to that, I need to say something else about Sephiroth. Yes, his bits as a schemer, controlling the robed figures, manipulating Cloud, and eventually being revealed as the one secretly controlling Wutai to start a new war, that is all interesting. Honestly, kind of more interesting when I stop and think about it than I felt in game. Because the thing is, the more the game focuses on Sephiroth as the ultimate villain, as opposed to the Shinra Electric Power Company...

I think he isn't as compelling of a villain. I'm still not entirely sure what his ultimate goal is? The main cast seem to think he wants to save the planet by killing everyone on it (thus ending the use of Mako (the planet's lifeblood) as energy). But, the more the game gets into the stuff with the Gi, who I believe are aliens that can't die permanently, because they can't return to a lifestream they were never a part of in the first place, the more I think Sephiroth might just want to die? He was created from Jenova, who is also an alien (I think? I don't remember if they've said that explicitly in these games yet or if I know that from internet osmosis). So, the Gi, who don't really seem actually all that bad, created an orb of Black Materia that they say can permanently kill themselves with, but the Cetra (the ancient people Aerith is the last of) stole the Black Materia because they feared it might be misused, or perhaps that it would accidentally permanently kill everyone on the planet, and not just the Gi. So anyway, the Gi still want the Black Materia, but so does Sephiroth.

All this is certainly interesting but if I'm being completely honest, I liked the story better when it was about trying to stop the evil corporation and climate change. To be clear, this game is still about climate change, and Shinra is still a threat! They're still up to no good, just not as much of a focus as in Remake. The issue is that I think all the sickos running the various departments of evil at Shinra are more fun to watch than Sephiroth. Except maybe Rufus. Both of them are going for that kind of aloof, “I'm evil but I don't need to show it” vibe, and I think I just enjoy a little more cackling evil. Like, Hojo is the worst, and I hate him, but he's kind of turning into a “I love to hate him” sort of villain.

So anyway, I've got mixed thoughts on Sephiroth. Him as a schemer is neat, and it was cool to see (and control!) him before he got Jokerfied and went evil, but I've also found myself losing interest in him. Maybe some of it is just the performance, maybe the actor is a bit too flat with the aloofness? I'm not saying bad necessarily, it all feels intentional. Just not...interesting? I think it may just be that less is more with Sephiroth, the mystery is more enticing than the reality.

Out of curiosity, I did look up some cutscenes from Rebirth in Japanese, to hear what that Sephiroth sounds like. My brief thought would be he does sound like he's putting more emotion into the role than the English voice actor, but whatever. I really like the rest of the English cast, definitely the main crew. And English Sephiroth is just a little dry, flat, whatever. He isn't actively bad like say, a certain other English voice dubbing over an iconic character in a game I played recently.

Okay, and another thing, sort of related to Sephiroth, that made me feel like I was losing my mind when it happened. This was early on, when Sephiroth was looking at the secret research at the Shinra Resident Evil lab. One of the documents had a date on it, with the year, “1977,” and just... Why does Final Fantasy VII world have the same year numbering as the real world?? I'm not complaining, I just think it's funny, the sort of thing that I could see being in a 90s' localization, but less so this.

Anyway, I can't keep beating around the bush, I need to get to the thing. The moment where they kill Aerith...but through the magic of multiverse, simultaneously don't kill her. Or more accurately to how it happens in game, Cloud is being forced by Sephiroth to kill her, but he manages to resist, she lives, then through multiverse trickery, this world collides with another, and she is both alive and dead at the same time?

On top of aspects of it just not making much logical sense (which again, fantasy setting, it only needs to adhere to its internal logic, not real world logic), it ultimately feels like the most noncommittal choice they could have made. In an attempt to appease both the people who thought she should still be killed, and the people who wanted her to live, they decided to do both. And if I had to guess, in doing so make nobody happy.

I think I can see a version of it where it works. In a world where Rebirth is the end of this series, there's no third game, maybe it could? Where they use this as a way to have Aerith fight alongside Cloud for the final boss, and they actually defeat Sephiroth and save the world, rather than him just flying away (a moment that made me laugh), but ultimately she has to return to her own universe, maybe that could work. Where it felt more like she had sacrificed herself, and somehow that was key to defeating Sephiroth? I don't know.

Also, that boss fight, it was a bit disappointing. Remake also ends with a duel against Sephiroth, but unfortunately I think that was a much better one. Ending both games (and presumably the third will too!) with the same boss, doing kind of the same thing, just doing it worse? Not great! In Remake, the duel is atop bits of broken buildings flying through a storm. In Rebirth, it's just in a featureless white void. In Remake, the other party members join up mid fight, and it's cool! In Rebirth, it's just Cloud and Aerith. Granted, the rest of the party is off fighting some other giant Jenova/Sephiroth(??) monster, but that happened before this bit.

Then, after all that, Aerith is still with the party, but only Cloud can see and talk to her, so everyone else (especially Tifa) is grieving, while Cloud is acting stranger than ever. Then...it ends, with Cloud putting the key to the Black Materia (but not the Black Materia itself?) into his sword, other universe(?) Aerith is left behind, and no promises are made about Journey's End.

At the end of the day, I feel like Rebirth left me with more questions than answers, but not in the fun way that Remake did. Like, I still need to see what's going to happen next. In a lot of ways, it's killing me that I need to wait at least four or five years to see Journey's End. But, I can't say I have sky high expectations any more.

Really though, cliched as it sounds, I think what's going to stick with me from all these games is the Journey, and not the End, so when all is said and done, I still enjoyed Rebirth. I just have more issues with it than I did Remake, despite it being a better game in many regards. Hopefully Reunion can have a better ending than Rebirth. Maybe it can find a way to pull it all together, and retroactively make Rebirth's story, and ending work better than it does right now. Not going to get my hopes super high for that, but hey! Anything is possible, and I'd rather try to be optimistic if I can.

The last, very last thing I want to mention, so I can end on a definitely high note: The music is still phenomenal. And there's so much of it too! So many different versions of themes, and used so well. Maybe a bit too loudly, whoever mixed the audio was channeling their inner Deadly Premonition. But at least the music can be turned down, and that makes it more reasonable. I'm not kidding, by default it can drown out conversations, especially in side quests.

So, when all is said and done, I did enjoy the vast majority of my time with Rebirth. I'd still say it's a great game overall, just not the near masterpiece that Remake is.

That's all I have to say for now, but I'll be back, however long it is from now, for Journey's End. I'm too invested to leave these chuckle heads now. Good or bad, I'm in.

See you all then, and for now, take care!

In my memory, I spent the summer of 2011 playing Yakuza 3 and 4 back to back. Picked up 3 in a bargain bin, loved it, and immediately went and played 4. That's my memory, at least. Going back and looking at my old blogs from then (which I don't recommend, I don't think there's anything bad in them so much as it's just embarrassing to see some of the dumb internet speak I used), I seem to have misplaced several months. Apparently I played Yakuza 3 over spring break from college, and it wasn't until the summer proper that I played 4.

Not that it really matters, thirteen years later. At least not beyond establishing it's been long enough since my first introduction to the series that I don't remember it clearly. Gone from a concrete series of events to a vague blur overlooking what really happened, and replacing it with a fun story. “The summer of Yakuza, where I started by finding one in a bargain bin, but got so into them I put sixty hours into each, back to back.” Enough of it is true, though. I found Yakuza 3 for about $15 in a bargain bin, and in no way I did I expect to fall in love with the series over the following decade plus.

For the 2011 Moosies, Yakuza 4 was my “Number VI” game of that year, and while I wasn't writing novella length treatises at the time, I did have this to say. “The fact that Sega keeps bringing the Yakuza games to the US is crazy. They don't sell well, and they're kinda messed up and backwards in some ways.” I later went on to praise Yakuza 4 for its story and great characters, but, in retrospect, it's funny how I didn't realize I was sort of predicting where the franchise was going in the US.

Which is to say, away. I'm pretty sure Dead Souls flopped even by the standards of the series at the time, and we entered the dark age of western Yakuza releases. Yakuza 5, a second alternate universe samurai game, and Yakuza 0 all released in Japan before Sega finally deemed Yakuza 5 worthy of a release in late 2015...as a downloadable only PS3 game. The series would come roaring back with a proper release of Yakuza 0 in 2017 (including a physical version that came with a metal business card case), and that's when people beyond the sickos like me started paying attention.

It was slow, and not without hiccups (I still maintain Yakuza 6 is bad), but the series has been gaining popularity ever since. In the span of a decade, we've gone from feeling certain we were never getting another western release from this series, to having them release day and date with Japan, complete with full English dubs to complement the original Japanese! Not only that, but Infinite Wealth sold a million copies in the first week! 2011 me never would have believed it was possible.

It was so funny to go back to what I first wrote about Yakuza 3, and see I wished there was an English dub, even if I “grew to really like the Japanese voice acting by the end.” Particularly because when Judgment released in 2019, the first game from RGG studio since the original Yakuza on PS2 to feature a full English dub, I decided to play it with the dub. A lot of reasons for that, mostly because I was raised on old Godzilla movies and highly edited for the west anime (jelly donuts in Pokémon and the Home For Infinite Losers in DBZ). But also because I was pretty miffed at the unceremonious recasting of voice and face post release (in Japan) of actor Pierre Taki simply because he took a drug test that said he used cocaine. In my head, it felt better to play with the English dub where it was going to be a different actor anyway, but not that it really matters.

Set in the same world as Yakuza (RGG Studio beating Remedy to a connected game universe by months), but with a new cast of characters, it wasn't going to bother me. Not like Kiryu was going to show up in the game, because by this point, even as angry as I was with how Yakuza 6 went, I'd become so attached to Kazuma Kiryu, and very specifically to Takaya Kuroda as Kiryu's voice. There are a lot of iconic voice actors, and a lot of them are so very specifically because of video game characters they've played. Kuroda as Kiryu is for me, and all the old-heads amongst the Yakuza fans, absolutely one of them.

Then, a year later, another momentous occasion for RGG Studio, as they released the next main chapter in the core series. They even dropped the numbering in the west as it was seen as the perfect chance to bring in new players. Yakuza: Like a Dragon, a soft reboot that continued the overarching story, but focused on new characters like Ichiban Kasuga, and changed the style of game from action adventure with beat'em'up combat, to a full on turn based JRPG. It was bold, and worked shockingly well, certainly better than I expected.

And, because at the time I felt confident that the old guard of the series was in retirement, I played with the English dub. Which was great! Kaiji Tang as Ichiban is absolutely perfect in the role, and honestly I felt the whole English cast was great too. I'd be lying if I didn't say that George Takei as Arakawa was a factor too. Hearing a veteran actor like him in an emotional role like that made it hit all the harder for me.

Of course, it turned out that the series mainstays did appear in that game, but only briefly. Kiryu does show up, but really only twice, once as an especially brutal boss fight, but he didn't have much dialog. So I didn't feel bad about not hearing Kuroda in the role, even if the English actor wasn't great (though I do think it's nice that they got back the actor from the first game's English dub, Darryl Kurylo, that was a nice nod).

Again, I can't emphasize enough just how perfect Kaiji Tang is as Ichiban, and I'm sure the Japanese actor is equally perfect! Just how Kuroda is perfect for Kiryu. Well, not quite the same way, because Kuroda has been Kiryu (or samurai Kiryus), in main roles, across twelve games, not counting three remakes. 0 through 6, two samurai games, Dead Souls, Gaiden, and now Infinite Wealth. Thirteen if you count his cameo in Y:LAD, and a whopping SIXTEEN if you count the remakes (I don't know how much, if any new dialog was recorded for those). All across nineteen years. You spend that much time playing a character, and I have to imagine the actor has as much influence over shaping the character as the writing, animation, etc. As opposed to Ichiban, who's only been in two games, and had multiple actors playing him from the get go.

Last year, playing Like a Dragon Gaiden: The Man Who Erased His Name, a new game with Kiryu as the lead for the first time since 2019 (when I played Kiwami 1 and 2), it hit me. The nostalgia, and honestly just how good Kuroda is as Kiryu. There's a scene at the end where Kiryu is absolutely sobbing, and I don't know how to describe what it feels like other than to say it feels like the sort of performance you can only get after playing a character for as long as Kuroda has. It's heartbreaking, but it's perfect.

Prior to LADGTMWEHN, I was really worried about how Kiryu was being brought back to the forefront after he very clearly passed the torch to Ichiban in Y:LAD. Coinciding with longtime series producer Toshihiro Nagoshi leaving the studio, it felt like an act of desperation. Maybe the people left with the reins weren't sure what to do, so they fell back to bringing Kiryu back out of retirement, with his own spinoff, and coming back to the forefront to be co-protagonist of the next main entry in the series. But, when LADGTMWEHN ended up being good, I had some renewed faith. Yes, it was goofy and fanservicey, but they also knew the right way to tug at the heartstrings.

So all this preamble, multiple pages longer than I intended, brings me to the present, with Like a Dragon: Infinite Wealth. I wasn't sure, with how busy the first few months of the year looked, if I was going to get this game right at launch, but even after just playing the demo, I knew this one was going to be special. I couldn't tell you what exactly it was, just a vibe that I was in for a good time.

Not only was that vibe one hundred percent spot on, but I can say with confidence that this does not feel like a game born out of desperation or floundering because of long time creatives leaving. If anything, this is the boldest, and most confident this series has ever felt. In many ways, I think it's the best game this studio has ever made! Is it my favorite? Well, it's not my favorite story of them, even if I still think the story is quite good overall. That's the sort of question that I'll need time to ruminate on, especially when Y:LAD is a game that I've only grown to appreciate more in the years after finishing it.

I said that I was shocked at how well RGG Studio's first attempt at a turn based JRPG went, as the combat was surprisingly fun, and deeper than expected. Perhaps it shouldn't have been surprising, because to an extent, what they really did was strip out the parts of the fights where you mash through basic combos, and instead focused on the wild special attacks. It wasn't perfect by any means, and I'm happy to say that my biggest issue with it was addressed in Infinite Wealth.

My issue with Y:LAD's combat was that it was a game where your characters' positioning mattered relative to that of the enemies, but there was no way to control any of it. Things like characters being able to use objects in the environment as weapons if they were close to them, or not being able to do basic attacks against enemies in the back, because those in the front would block you. Decent ideas, but frustrating when you have zero control over where your current character is, especially because everyone just wanders around during fights.

Infinite Wealth, however, lets you move! Each character has a radius around them, and they're free to move wherever in said radius before locking in their action. These vary from character to character, what jobs they have equipped, and increase in size when they level up enough. It's still not perfect, though. Enemies and allies still wander around with minds of their own, and there's no way to control where allies are, only the specific character whose turn it is.

That's not a huge deal, but it is important. Skills that heal in a radius around the user can be used on the entire party...if they happen to be close together. I also spent quite a few hours not realizing you can target other party members, I thought you had to be within movement range. That helps a lot!

To go along with controlling movement, there's an explicit emphasis on getting into the right position for attacks. Certain skills have a radius that hits anyone caught in it, go in a straight line, or hit a specific arc. But even just basic attacks have a strategic element to them now. Back attacks have guaranteed crits, and most enemies get knocked around even from basic attacks to the front. Knock them into walls, or other enemies, and they take damage. Weapon attacks with junk in the environment can have elemental effects, if say it's a bottle of beer thrown at them, or an electric sign with the current still running.

Best though, is knocking enemies into allies, because then the ally will attack too, sending the enemy flying in another direction, and ideally into another enemy, or at least a wall. I dunno if they can be hit by a third ally in this chain, after 107 hours I don't think I ever saw that happen. As the story goes on, and the party members get their Drink Links leveled up, they start being able to do extra follow up attacks (where they run up and hit enemies after they've stopped bouncing around), and combo attacks where both characters do a basic attack in unison.

It can be a little iffy sometimes on when they do and don't actually do these things, I'm not sure if there's some hidden mechanic where they can only do the combo attack so many times, or some other factor as to if they follow up or not. But doing the combo attacks can be key, not just for doing more damage, but keeping everyone's MP up. Yes, there are items that can refill MP, but true to JRPG form, you can give into the impulse to just hoard items instead of actually using them. Why chug iced tea and beer to refill MP when basic attacks give a little back too? Why attack with a single person when a combo attack does more damage, AND refills MP for both of them? What if I said it also refills MORE MP for each of them than just a single attack would?

It's a fun system, and it plays into the strengths of this franchise. It may be a JRPG, but it's still a JRPG set in more or less modern day Earth, both in Japan and the United States. These are just dudes Ichiban and company are fighting, not goblins or slimes. You know what has long been fun in this series? Knocking dudes around, and into each other, so incorporating that so strongly into the basic attacks is brilliant, and most importantly, as fun as ever, if not more so! It's a lot easier to strategize in a turn based game, after all.

The special skills are as flashy and somehow even more ridiculous than ever. New character Eric Tomizawa (who I only ever refer to as Eric because I think it's super funny to have a main character in this series named Eric) is a cab driver, and his unique job skills are all car related. So it's stuff like throwing a bucket of soapy water on an enemy and scrubbing them with a brush, which then makes them more susceptible to electric attacks...which he can do with a car battery! It's not just funny, he's extremely powerful in combat, and also quickly became one of my favorites in the game.

He's so endearing, partly because he's just a normal guy. Yes, he has a tragic, genuinely heartbreaking backstory, but at the end of the day he still comes off as the most normal person in a game full of lunatics and sickos. I love Ichiban, but he's one of the goofiest goofballs to ever goof. Kiryu is iconic, but at times he feels like a video game character from a bygone era where stoicism was more important than anything else. Eric, though? He's just a dude. We all know someone like him in real life, I doubt many of us know an Ichiban, as much as we wish we did.

My only issue with the combat side of Infinite Wealth is that it's too easy. Or more accurately, I was able to accidentally over level just by playing the game normally. Y:LAD wasn't the hardest game out there, but it got pretty challenging in the back half. The Majima + Saejima tag team and Kiryu boss fights both took me multiple attempts, and forced me to really evaluate my party lineup, jobs, etc. I had to understand the combat, and know how to use it effectively to get through those fights. I had to use buffs and debuffs!!

That's not to say that's impossible in Infinite Wealth. This game is absolutely still hard when under leveled, or downright impossible if you're trying to fight a level 60 Legendary Sujimon when your party is all around level 30. The issue is there's so many enemies around Honolulu (and Yokohama) that without intending to, I got to a point where I was over leveled until literally the final boss. Even then, I was at level with him, so it felt a bit more challenging, but still not super hard.

Not that I really wanted the whole game to be brutally difficult, but it would be nice if there was a difficulty option to make it a bit more challenging. I'm not a game designer, but I think literally all they would have to do would be to increase the levels of the enemies. Obviously how much to increase them would take balance and work, unless it was just setting everything to the party's level. At which point that would kind of negate the point of leveling, so I dunno. Game design and balance is hard! I'm not a game designer!

Though as a side note, I've been playing FF VII Rebirth on “Dynamic” difficulty. Based on what I read online, it scales enemies up to match Cloud and friends, to prevent over leveling. So it's not like this is some radical, unfeasible idea. It's been fun so far, but I don't really know what it's actually changed, if anything. If the game displays what levels enemies are (at least outside Chadley's simulations), I've not noticed. It's definitely had both plenty of regular enemies that I mopped the floor with, and bosses that were so difficult I barely managed to scrape by. That said, Remake was a pretty challenging game at times, so as long this game is also pushing me to really explore all the combat has to offer, that's what I want.

The thing is though, a friend told me that apparently the NG+ DLC does have difficulty options, which is... First off the idea that new game plus is paid DLC, when it's just been a feature in all the other games, that's insulting. Second, I don't know who has the time to replay this hundred plus hour game. Granted, this is the first time I've played one of these games, and ended it kind of wanting to get the Platinum. It's doable! I think it'd be grindy to get Ichiban up to level 70, but still, doable.

Am I though? Probably not, because I had a copy of Final Fantasy VII Rebirth waiting days for me to finish Infinite Wealth, and by the time I finish that, Dragon's Dogma II will be out! I get it, games are expensive, and I know I'm splurging by getting multiple $70 games in the first few months of the year. Lots of people can't afford to do that. I'm sure there's people out there for whom Infinite Wealth is the one game they could afford for a long while, and I hope they enjoy it. I still think it's insulting to charge extra for a basic feature like that, and to charge extra for difficulty options! Ones you can't even use until finishing the game!!

I just hope this doesn't become a standard thing. It's one thing when games add NG+ as a free update. That isn't that bad, but I'll be bummed if this keeps happening.

Back to the good things about this game. Infinite Wealth is the first time the series has left Japan, and they went all the way to scenic Hawaii! I've never been there myself, so I can't say how accurate it is or isn't, but seeing images comparing real life stores and locations to their recreations in game, it feels like they put the same effort into bringing that level of detail the series is known for. I joke about how they set it in Hawaii so they could use location scouting as an excuse for a vacation, but this attention to detail doesn't come without putting in hard work.

It's also just fascinating to see their take on an American city, even if it is one that is admittedly closer, both in terms of population and physical geography, to Japan than just about anywhere else in the country. Whether it's the huge streets with a constant stream of cars (at least the main ones), or the vastly more diverse NPCs, Honolulu feels completely different from any other location RGG Studio has done before. Yokohama already felt bigger and more open than Kamurocho, but Honolulu, true to being an American city, feels appropriately sprawling in comparison. I know real life Tokyo is enormous, what I'm getting at is more of a sense of openness compared to the cramped alleyways of Kamurocho.

But it still feels like a Like a Dragon city, and that's a good thing. There's faux-Segways to travel faster, and it's fun to cruise around while listening to disco from Yakuza 0, or songs from other Sega games. “Take Over” and “Let's Go Away” being my favorites for that, but weirdly the battle theme from SMT V made me want to play Vengeance when that releases (like I don't have enough JRPGs to get through as it is). I definitely ended up using the taxis to fast travel more than ever before, but I also spent a lot of time just moseying around too. It's big, but not so big that you can't still walk from one end to the other, so in that way, I think it feels true to this series' cities.

And it's just so vibrant, fun, and full of life! There's a huge beach, covered in people sunbathing, swimming, and hanging around. There's dark alleys with minibosses lurking, but there's fire breathers and hula dancers, people playing ukeleles, there's dogs and cats, there's even kids! It's bright, and colorful! There's people of all shapes and sizes, and again, it's racially diverse in a way that an American city should be. It feels silly in a way to type this all out, but like, the other cities in this game don't feel this vibrant. They have their own identities, because Tokyo and Yokohama are very different from Honolulu, but I really appreciate what they went for here.

So much so, that I hope the franchise keeps heading to new countries in the future. Whether that's sticking to places relatively close to Japan (like China or South Korea), or going somewhere farther away, like Latin America, or even Europe, I'd love to see RGG Studio tackle newer, even more different cities. Heck, I'd even take another American city.

I'd take just coming back to Honolulu, or going to another place in Hawaii. Again, I joke with friends about how their next game is going to be Judgment 3, with the Yagami Detective Agency's biggest case yet, taking them all the way to Hawaii, to keep the tradition of reusing any and everything alive. We'll see, but I think it'd be a waste if the series goes back to only Japan.

It wouldn't be an RGG Studio game without a plethora of side stuff to do, and Infinite Wealth is absolutely one of the best in the series history there. Tons of substories (side quests), and while there's not really anything revolutionary going on in any of them, most of them are really good. I could argue that in a few cases they lean a little too heavily on bringing back bits from the substories in Y:LAD, but that would be dishonest. Yes, it's a little silly to have the scientist with the giant robot vacuum cleaner in Hawaii, and have it go how you would expect after that previous game, but it's still funny.

Plus, there is another thing with that vacuum in another side story that did not feel like it would be related, but was so funny when it happened. And don't get me started on what happens with those excavators on the beach. One of the silliest, dumbest things I've ever seen in a game, and I was absolutely cackling when it did.

Plenty of the substories are wholly new, and they span from also funny and goofy (the one with Joseph the bird is another favorite of mine), to the usual sappy melodrama, like helping a kid sell lemonade so he can by a present for someone before she leaves town. Some of them have some story turns that are a little...questionable (like the mother who turns herself in to the police and leaves her kid with some guy she was friends with when they were kids), and I do occasionally roll my eyes at how painfully hetero this series continues to be. Outside of a pair of lesbian crustaceans (not a joke, they are literally a crawfish and a hermit crab), every romance or couple in this game is hetero. I wouldn't bring it up if there weren't a lot of them. Again, nothing new for the series, but many substories end in some sort of, “and they were a perfect match for each other all along!”

It'd just be nice if once, just once in one of these games it might be a nice queer couple. I won't harp on this for long, but I know while this series has managed to get itself away from the queerphobia (mostly transphobia) that would rear its head in earlier games, it's also gotten away from the occasional bright spots of queer positivity it used to have. My guess is that they are too skittish because they don't want to do anything harmful, so they just stay far away from it, and again, it's frustrating.

Good combat, and substories, but it still wouldn't be Like a Dragon without minigames. The arcades are still there, even if they lack the Sega branding now (I guess this happened in real life too?), but I didn't love the selection in this game. The newer minigames fair better, though. Ever wanted to do sick tricks while delivering food? What about playing Pokémon Snap, but instead of Pokémon you were taking pictures of buff men posing on the streets of Honolulu?

What about playing Pokémon, but instead of Pokémon they were Sujimon? You know, Super Jittery Men! Apparently in Japanese Sujimon is a play on a slang term for thug, which makes more sense (this is a rare misstep for the localization, I think). The goofy classification system for the enemies from Y:LAD returns, now with the addition of the Sujimon League. Secret, underground fights, and the organization running it as corrupt as they come. So it's up to Ichiban to become a Sujimon Trainer and through the power of friendship (with his Sujimon), become champion and take the corruption out of illegal underground fighting.

Okay, the Sujimon battles aren't all that deep, it's mostly just a matter of rock-paper-scissoring the types right, and making sure your Sujimon are appropriately leveled. But...they kind of went and put a whole second JRPG inside their JRPG. It's small, and simple, sure, but it's bananas that it's here at all.

And the Sujimon can also be tasked with helping out at the other game inside a game...Dondoko Island.

So, here's my theory about how this came to be. Yakuza: Like a Dragon released in Japan in January 2020, right before The Pandemic really started. The western release was later in November, but I don't know how much of those extra months was work RGG Studio had to do, or how much was just the localization (or how much of that is overlap). Anyway, point being, Infinite Wealth was made entirely post Pandemic. Or, during, depending on one's views on what's going on out there (Covid is still a threat, be careful, mask where appropriate, get vaccinated/boosted!).

I feel, that the entirety of RGG Studio lost their minds and played an obscene amount of Animal Crossing New Horizons in the early months of The Pandemic. Then, in their collective delirium, decided they could do that too. The result...is Dondoko Island.

After saving a sea turtle from poachers, Ichiban finds himself kidnapped by mascot Gachapin (apparently a pre-existing character) and taken to an island that was formerly a resort, but is now littered with trash dumped by waste disposal pirates. When a depressed (and horny) old man and two despondent mascots tell Ichiban the history of the island, he takes it upon himself to clean up the trash, rebuild the resort, and fight off all the pirates.

It's deeper in some ways than I expected (there's lots of different things to place), but still a miniature game, after all. But I still saw it through to the end! Same with the Sujimon League, of course. Oh, that brings me to the thing that really made me think RGG Studio lost their minds.

So, the Sujimon can work on the Dondoko Farm, growing vegetables, cleaning up trash, training, etc. But you can also...pet them? To build friendship?? I think this is just to further them parodying Pokémon, because I know that became a thing in the DS era, but like...it's still odd to be doing that with dudes instead of Pokémon.

You can use the touchpad to pet them so that's what I did.

At this point I've covered the combat, and the breadth of side stuff, so all that really leaves is the story. I'm not going to write out a whole synopsis, but I do have some things to say about Kiryu's presence in the game, and some...thematic stuff, I guess? No direct story spoilers, but some stuff about the structure of the back half of the game. Go play the game if you're worried, it's great! If my thousands of words prior didn't illustrate that, haha.

So, in the first half of the game, Kiryu is just another party member. He has unique mechanics (swapping between his three fight styles from 0), but otherwise the game doesn't treat him any differently than anyone else. Except for his not having a Drink Link with Ichiban, or showing up in restaurant conversations, or I think in Walk and Talks. Which felt odd to me, until...

About two thirds of my way into the game (so like 60-ish hours), Kiryu leaves Hawaii, and goes back to Japan. At first I thought it might just be they were writing him out of the story, but it was actually the exact opposite. At a point, again, two thirds of the way into the story, the structure changes, and it begins alternating perspectives for each chapter. One with Ichiban and his party, and the next with Kiryu and his.

This series has done this before, most notably with 0 switching between Kiryu and Majima every two chapters. But that did it from the start, not this deep in. This also made the cover art for the game make way more sense, with Ichiban and his party in one half of the infinity sign, and Kiryu and his on the other. It also reminded me that this was announced years ago, that or leaked that the game was going to swap between two different parties in different cities, but I had forgotten.

Game play wise, it works fine. They each have similar characters that fill similar roles, even if it's bizarre that two of them don't show up until comically late into the game. I didn't get Joongi Han until ninety five hours into this game. And considering he was my go to in the previous game, that was a bit disappointing. Particularly because, since I had accidentally over-leveled and he came in at the level the game thought I should be at, he was always behind on that. But I still like him, he's still good.

Anyway, the game takes on a bit of a different tone with Kiryu as the lead. This is no longer the same Kiryu from the early games, he's older, wearier, and truly believes in his heart that he's only caused pain and suffering to the people around him. To the people he cares about. That's why he went and faked his death, erased his name, and tried so hard to distance himself from his loved ones.

That worked fine for a while, even if it was torture for him emotionally, being the most stoic man who ever lived, he still managed to carry on. It was destroying him on the inside, but as long as he could keep working, and keep fighting, that was all he needed.

But now, for reasons I won't spoil, that isn't enough any more. He isn't strong enough to carry the burden alone, and he has to rely on others to complete the job he's set out to do. But these aren't just randos, these are, importantly, Ichiban's friends. And what does being friends with Ichiban do? It means his endless font of positivity has rubbed off on them, and they want to do for Kiryu what Ichiban did for them.

And if that means practically forcing themselves to be Kiryu's friends, to help Kiryu work through whatever regrets he has, then so be it. So, that means that while Kiryu and friends are working toward uncovering and dealing with the bad guy's plans, they're also trying to tick off anything Kiryu might have on his bucket list. Doing karaoke, just hanging out, whatever!

In addition to that, instead of substories, Kiryu has memoirs. Most of them are just little one off bits where he reminisces about people he knew, places he went, or even dreams he had about zombies or being a samurai. They're kinda sappy at times, and downright silly at others (“the best combination ever” being his old friend Date and...helicopters), but they're endearing. They know how to tug at the heartstrings. In one of them Kiryu refers to Saejima as a man, “as big as an ocean, and with a heart just as vast,” and something about that made me tear up a little.

Some of the memoirs are more involved, with full voice acting, and even fights, so those feels like proper substories. Then, there's the stuff with Date. He forces himself back into Kiryu's life, with the intent of helping Kiryu get past specific regrets he has, by letting Kiryu check in on people he hasn't seen in years. At first discretely, without the others knowing (because Kiryu is supposed to be dead), but later, bending or breaking that rule by fully speaking with long lost friends.

In the older games, Kiryu often felt like he was there as a bit of a cypher for the player. He didn't have a lot of his own characterization, other than being stoic and helping people in need, even if he would grumble about it silently. As the games went on he certainly became more of an actual character, but in a lot of ways I think this introspective, regretful Kiryu is the most interesting he's ever been. It's sad, but it's a sadness I can share in because I played all those games, I understand why he has so many regrets. It's true, some of his actions did hurt people he cares about, and I get why that's all he sees when he thinks about his life.

This part of the game is so touching because it's about someone who had all but given up on his life, but through both his new friends, and old ones, realizes that he lived a good life after all. Maybe some people were hurt along the way, and some were definitely lost, but the good he brought into the world? All the people he helped, whether it was some random weirdo on the street, or someone whose life he saved? Kiryu did so much more to help than any person could be asked to do.

And it's not just in the story, there's a game side too, where all this stuff feeds into upgrading his Dragon of Dojima job, and enhancing all three styles within it. Not only does all this help him emotionally, it literally helps bring him back to life, back to the old him. As someone who's been going along with Kiryu's adventures for a very long time now, all that nostalgia, all this...it got me feeling really emotional, and I'm glad it works. It could have very easily felt like cheap fanservice, or like I said, a desperate move to keep people in because they didn't have any new ideas.

There is one thing though, that astute readers probably picked up on, but I haven't directly addressed yet. I mentioned how much Takaya Kuroda is Kiryu in Japanese, but also how much I love Kaiji Tang as Ichiban in English. If I have an attachment to both, which language did I go with?

Well, the answer is...mostly English. See, prior to playing the game, I played the demo, and got a taste for the English Kiryu, and... You know when I write about voice actors, I always try to be positive. Especially if I bring up an actor by name, even if I'm criticizing some aspect of the performance, I still want to be positive about it, because I think voice acting doesn't get the credit it should (nor do the actors typically get paid as much as they should).

All that said, Yong Yea as Kiryu in English is...not good. Even outright bad in a lot of ways. I'm not saying every line is bad, but compared to Kuroda who helped define the character...it's not even close. But also there are definitely times where Yea's performance 100% drags down scenes, and if I hadn't changed the language back and forth during Kiryu's parts of the game, I probably would be even more negative than I am now.

Prior to playing the game, I told myself that I would look up any particularly emotional scenes with Kiryu after the fact, and I did that for the ending, but like I said, I ended up switching quite a few times. Which is a hassle, since the game needs to reload and go back to the main menu to switch. Any time I felt like something emotional, or whatever was coming up, I switched. Or even if it was as simple as the gang going to do karaoke, because while Kuroda has a genuinely amazing singing voice (I could listen to his Baka Mitai forever), Yea...had to be auto-tuned. Though, I'm not sure what's up with that, because some of English Ichiban's songs are auto-tuned too, but they weren't in the previous game, and I thought his singing voice was perfectly fine. Not as good as Greg Chun's great Baka Mitai for Nanba, but perfectly fine.

All those scenes with Date, too. I can't imagine going through those with Yea, or honestly whoever the English voice of Date is. Not that the snippets of English Date I heard were bad, just different. Which is the thing, right? I'm so attached to Kuroda as Kiryu that any English voice actor wouldn't be the same, but I wouldn't dedicate this much space to it if they at least cast someone good. Like, Matt Mercer as Majima isn't the same, but he's not bad by any stretch.

But Yea?

I don't understand how they flubbed up the casting this badly. Everyone else in the main cast is bare minimum good, but mostly great. All the returning actors are as good as ever (or better than I remembered, since Robbie Daymond's Zhao awakened something in me, haha), and the new ones are great too! Matt Yang King is particularly so as Eric, and Suzie Yeung is good as Chitose too!

So that's why I didn't just play in Japanese either, I love the English cast of this game. Not to say I wouldn't also love most of the Japanese cast too had I played Y:LAD in Japanese...but if I'm being honest, I like the English voices for most of them better. Saeko in particular, I don't care for in Japanese. But since I'm not actively mad at her casting, I'm not going to write paragraphs about it.

So, yeah. I spent the back half of this game switching languages, which was a hassle, but I think ultimately the best compromise I could find for myself. And I know I'm in a minority here, most of the old guard of Yakuza fans just played in Japanese, I'm sure. Not to say a bad performance wouldn't still be bad. Newer fans who just played in English since these games default to it, or whatever reason deserve as good an experience as the people who played in Japanese. And I hope the Chinese voice acting is good too!

For my bizarre situation, I could blame Japanese society being so unforgiving of drug use, and Pierre Taki's recasting for setting me down this path...but that would be a lie. 2011 me wished Yakuza 3 had an English dub (at least at first), because for better or worse, that's just what I lean toward. At least for games and anime, for whatever reason in live action I tend to prefer the original language. Don't ask me why, I don't understand how my brain works!

Anyway, hopefully this time RGG Studio can actually commit to retiring Kiryu from the series. At least from being more than a cameo, so this problem won't happen again!

I know I usually don't like to end on sour notes, so instead I'm going to end by saying that I'm really excited by the future of this series. I was worried that with some of the creatives leaving, this might be a moment where they floundered, but if anything they thrived. No, it's not the best story they've ever told, but the core game is probably the strongest they've ever made. And don't get me wrong, I still really enjoyed the story! The actual A Plot Narrative is engaging, and full of twists and turns, but honestly Kiryu's journey from having given up on life to finding a reason to keep going, that's emotionally resonant.

But also, Ichiban really is just one of the best characters...ever? He is just so endlessly optimistic, and always willing and able to see the good in people, even when they don't see it themselves. He's just a fun character to inhabit, to see interact with others, and even just look at. I love his big goofy hair! It suits him perfectly.

We could all use an Ichiban in our lives, and I hope he and his friends have many adventures to come.

Thank you for reading! I'm glad to be in a pretty good writing groove, but it'll be a bit before the next one. I'm like 30 hours into Rebirth, yet I'm sure I have a long road ahead as that untold story continues...

Typically the sorts of games I write about are ones with a pretty clear beginning and end, so it's easy for me to know when I'm done with it. Thus if I want to write about it, when it's the time to do so. Even in the realm of ongoing games, Destiny 2 has campaigns with conclusions to them (also usually I don't really have enough to say about those for individual write-ups). I think technically even Fortnite's Save the World campaign has an end...but despite playing a lot of it (and having a lot of fun!), my friend and I never got close to its end.

Helldivers II, though, fittingly, doesn't have anything like that. It doesn't even have a traditional “campaign” in the video game sense of the word. There's no scripted story, no cutscenes, or really even characters. Not counting the pre-rendered opening or tutorial, I guess. As good as those are for setting the tone, it's not like there's a rich narrative there, or like General Brasch is anything more than a loud mouth meant to again, set the tone.

That tone, let me be honest, is just Starship Troopers, but...better? Not to just make this about that movie instead of the game I want to write about, but it's one of those movies where I get the satire, and all that...but I still don't think it's a good movie. Like, even if it was all done intentionally, bad acting and unlikable characters are still bad and unlikable. And that's fine! I don't have to like it! I can get the point of something and still not personally enjoy it.

Where that movie doesn't work (again, for me), but Helldivers II does is in it going for an entirely different type of storytelling, one that really only works in video game form. No, it doesn't have a “story” in the traditional sense, but there's still a narrative at play here. Or, several, if I want to get into the nitty gritty of it.

For anyone who played the original, but hasn't had a chance to try II (which seems doubtful considering how well II has sold), it's effectively the same set up. The brave people of Super Earth are besieged on all sides by the vile forces of the outer reaches of the galaxy, and the only thing standing between their evil way of life and our glorious Managed Democracy are the Helldivers.

It's the same sense of humor, using satirical fascism to get laughs (it's funny in game!), and set up a perpetual war with different fronts across the galaxy. Those fronts move forward and back depending on how well players across the world are doing on individual planets, and the plans of Game Master Joel at Arrowhead. Planets become available for missions depending on if they either need Liberation, or Defending from enemy forces, but there's also Major Orders for specific fronts, or planets.

The Major Orders are the closest thing to “main story objectives” in the game, and are Joel's way of guiding players along the loose narrative he and the rest of Arrowhead have planned. When the game launched the focus was on the scourge of insectoid Terminids, but after a brazen attack by the nefarious communist Automatons, the main front moved to the other side of the galaxy. Yet, and this is the nature of these sorts of live games, literally the day before I was going to post this, the Major Order shifted back to the bugs, and I had to edit this in! I'm sure the main front will shift countless times in the future, but I just thought it was really funny to have this happen right before I was going to post this.

There's been hints of another faction rearing its head (the original game had three after all), so I'm sure more is to come in the future. Reading up about how Joel is dynamically adjusting the flow of the war based on how well players are doing (such as making the Automatons attack after the bugs were pushed back faster than expected), just makes me more excited about the future of this game. Yes, there's probably something to be said that maybe the pushback was a little too much with the Automatons and defending planets, but the game is still less than a month old. And hey, Joel threw us a softball with this latest bug one, so the devs are paying attention. What this game is a year from now might be wildly different than it is now.

And that's part of why I wasn't really sure when would be the best time to write about this game. Now, when it's new and fresh, and EVERYONE is playing it? Or a year from now when it's changed, and more has happened? What if I've given up playing it by then?

Or, more likely...haven't had the chance to play it as much as I want because...well...

When this game first launched, it was more or less just the people like myself who liked the original who were playing the sequel. Playing with friends on launch day, we were having a great time, because it was all the stuff that was cool about the original, but from a new perspective, and a redesigned core game play that was even better than I remembered from the first game.

But, as the next week or so went by, word spread about how great the game is, and more and more people started playing. Soon it far exceeded what the developers at Arrowhead expected, and they had to do things like implement a queue to play at all, and work overtime on weekends to expand the server capacity to let as many people play as possible.

On the one hand, I'm thrilled so many people are playing this game. It's fantastic, and I could not be happier for the people at Arrowhead. Too many great games don't find the audience they deserve, especially when they need it because they're multiplayer.

The problem is as more people started playing, my gaming friends all seem to be playing it, almost nonstop for at least one of them, it's just...they've all gotten other friend groups to play it with. So any time I turn on my PS5 to play my silly little Hawai'i JRPG with Ichiban and the power of friendship...I see my friends online playing Helldivers II. Without me.

So, that was, to say the least, frustrating. No one likes to be left out, right? It's not like I feel the need to play it nonstop like that one friend of mine, but I also didn't want to completely give up on playing the game, not like I had to do with Deep Rock Galactic (my poor Rock and Stone dwarves...alone and drunk in space). Not when I actually spent money on this one! The answer, it seems...is in...gasp, making new friends! Or, at the very least, making use of the Discord server I joined a year ago to do some Destiny raiding in to play with some of them. Some of which (well, two) were my friends prior to joining that server, so that helps with my inherent shyness.

This plan seems to be going all right! I'm not sure that I'm forging any long lasting friendships or anything, but it's good to have people I can play with, and use voice chat with. And if I end up making a genuine friend or two along the way, then all the better.

Anyway, how about I actually get into what makes this game so good? Well, like I said earlier, it's more or less the same structure as the first Helldivers. That, however, was a top down/overhead game with dual-stick controls. IE, one stick to move, the other stick aimed in a circle around your Helldiver. It was a lot of fun, and felt pretty unique at the time, more so because of the structure than the core game play. Even from that perspective, it was a dual-stick game in 2015, which was long after the heyday of that genre. Those types of games will always be fun, I'm sure Geometry Wars will be just as thrilling decades from now as it was when it was new. You just don't see them as often as you used to.

Curiously, Arrowhead hadn't put out any other games in the nine years between Helldivers I and II. I have no insider knowledge, I don't know if they used all that time on this sequel, or if they spent a few years on other prototypes that didn't come together, but genuinely Helldivers II feels like a game that was in development for nine years...in a good way! My biggest concern going into II was the change in perspective. Arrowhead had only made top down games before (well upon checking to make sure, they made a sidescroller too), so going to an over the shoulder perspective felt like it could be a recipe for disaster.

Instead, it feels great! Not only that, but it has a slew of options to adjust various sensitivities and whatnot, so if it isn't to someone's liking, they can adjust it until it is. Not only does it just feel good to move and aim in this game, but they also made it feel different than just about anything else I've played? So, this game has a reticle that moves wherever the player aims it, but reticle speed is not the same as the actual turn speed of the Helldiver. That varies depending on what weapon is equipped, and is signified (when aiming) with a separate circle that shows more accurately where the gun is actually going to shoot. For example, a light pistol is going to be snappy and quick to turn, with pretty light recoil, but a bigh machine gun will take longer to move, and have much heavier recoil, so if you aren't careful, you could end up wildly shooting all over the place.

It sounds weird in writing, but it works in practice. That, the more limited nature of ammo (with realistic reloading where ammo from the magazine is LOST), and the heavy friendly fire makes this a game where you need to be much more deliberate with every action than most games. Especially co-op ones. I've played well over a thousand hours of Destiny 2 over the years (yeesh, haha), but I never feel like I need to be careful there. Or if I do, during more difficult content, that's only being careful about myself. I had fun playing through Suicide Squad a few weeks ago with a friend, but there's no actual “cooperating” in the game's mechanics, other than reviving someone if they're downed.

Helldivers II didn't invent friendly fire, and heck, I genuinely think the quantity of “accidentals” is significantly reduced from the first game, because of the change of perspective. Halo had friendly fire way back in the day, but that mostly amounted to just making sure you said “nade” when throwing a grenade. Listen, we were teens who liked saying “nade;” it was the style at the time.

The point I'm working toward is that Helldivers II is a cooperative game the likes of which isn't that common these days. If you're playing with other people, you need to coordinate, otherwise you're going to either be overrun by enemies, or blowing each other up left and right. And honestly, sometimes both of those happen even when you DO coordinate, yet it's still fun!

This is a game where almost any time you wonder how big the radius of an explosion, or anything with a radius is going to be, it's larger than you think. One of the first missions I played, my friend blew me up with a grenade that was, “nowhere near you!” Hellbombs are specialty explosives that need to be manually armed before detonation (because of budget cuts), and the first time you see one go off in game, it's so big all you can do is laugh! It's absurd! Yet somehow half the time we end up placing them wrong and miss the one thing we need to actually destroy for the objective, and have to either call in a second, or use some other ordinance to get the job done.

I also need to take a moment to just describe how great the explosions in this game are. Obviously, many video games have a lot of explosions, and many of them are very good. But there's just something about the way every bit of Helldivers II comes together that makes them feel special. The booming sound effects, the billowing smoke, screen shake, the rumble in the controller, the flashes of light so bright they light up the whole screen even when you're running away from them, they all feel perfectly tuned. The way that trees, small buildings, and other things blow apart! Plus, the nature of the game, with how hectic it can get, it's extremely easy to get just a little too close to them without realizing it.

To be fair, I've accidentally taken out Helldivers with poorly placed cluster bombs, or not realizing just how long the 380 MM orbital barrage goes for. Or my mortar turret going after enemies a bit too close to us (it's happened to me with my own mortar!). I've also been scarred by the Tesla coils, with a range always just longer than I think it is, and an instant kill when I stray too close. That's one of those items that I refuse to unlock myself because I just know it won't go well.

Some items I wasn't sure if I wanted to unlock or not, until getting a little extra push from a friend. One of them is the recoilless rifle, which despite looking like a rocket launcher, after doing some research (skimming a Wikipedia article) I realized it is technically a rifle. It's big, and requires a backpack to carry extra ammo for. You can carry the backpack yourself, and use a long reload animation after every shot...but if someone else carries the backpack, then they can reload it in a fraction of the time. It turns the recoilless rifle from a useful, but slow weapon into something that shoots so fast it's kind of ridiculous.

Of course the trade off is that then you're dedicating two people to firing one weapon, and the second person isn't even doing anything after they've locked in to reloading. The strategy then becomes when is it good to lock in to each other, or do you just want to use the rifle whenever, and get a reload when the other person is free for a moment? But you gotta be careful, because the rifle is only recoilless for the person using it All that force gets pushed behind them, and it will literally blow people over and knock them down if they're caught in its wake. We've had times where the reloader was about to lock in, but was swept away by all that force.

There's other weapons like this in the game too. The autocannon I've grown to really like, though the self reload on that is short enough that I typically carry the ammo myself. There's a third one I forget the name of, but it's a heavy missile launcher that locks onto large targets, like tanks. Sadly, it didn't seem very good when I tried it? It takes too long to lock on, and if there's multiple targets nearby, it has a bad habit of almost locking onto one, then switching to the other, and ultimately not locking onto anything. That wouldn't be too bad if it was taking out Automaton Hulks in one hit, but it couldn't even manage that, so I'm glad I didn't unlock it, that was my friend (who I think has everything unlocked already) who took that hit.

If there's any complaint to be laid against the game, it sounds like the progression gets grindy at a point. I'm not there yet, I'm just going off the word of my friend who has put in over three times more time into the game than I have, but from what she was saying about the numbers, it does seem out of whack. But it is an ongoing game, and they've already changed the rewards for the most recent Major Order from Requisitions points to Medals (the thing my friend was saying they should do), so I had to edit this again to account for that!

In the heat of the moment though, Helldivers II is fantastic. When I said this game feels like it was in development for nine years, I mean things like how exquisitely balanced it feels. It always manages to strike the right balance at just the right moments to push us, make us feel like we're up against the wall, but then manage to scrape by and pull out a victory. Yes, often at the cost of brave Helldivers sacrificing themselves to serve these cups of Liber-Tea, but what war is won without sacrifice?

Helldivers II has nine different difficulties, ranging from Trivial to Helldive. The highest one I've completed full Operations on is Hard, which fittingly...is exactly in the middle of them. I've managed to do one mission on Extreme (one up from Hard), but that was a case where while we managed to complete the objectives...we were not able to extract. It was only two of us, and we were at the extraction point, but ran out of reinforcements before the ship arrived. If the extraction timer had been the usual two minutes instead of four, we would have made it out, but sadly not. I dunno if that was a weird mission modifier, or if that's just the case on difficulties harder than Hard, but it...was brutal. Yet, still surmountable! We almost made it out.

That's the whole game, everything is doable, if you and your squad are well equipped, and put in some coordination. Thankfully you need to unlock the difficulties as you go, actually completing Operations (sets of missions) on a difficulty to unlock the next one, and so on. It lets the game ramp things up, and get you used to it before introducing stronger enemy types, and more complex objectives. And unlock more gear, and stratagems to be better equipped.

The one part of this game where Arrowhead's Magicka roots show is the stratagems. Whether it's calling in resupplies, air strikes, orbital barrages, support weapons, or even reinforcements (respawns for your squadmates), you gotta use stratagems. Just like the first game, these are like fighting game combos on the d-pad, which then creates a thingy you throw like a grenade to call in whatever it is. When you first start a mission (assuming you didn't drop directly into danger), it's easy to leisurely put in the combos and call your support weapon, backpack item, etc. When you're being besieged by five giant bugs all spitting acid at you, or hiding behind a small rock from rocket barrage robots, and you're desperately trying to put in the combo for the right air strike, and then have to throw it at where the enemies will be by the time the strike actually comes, it's a bit more stressful!

It's exactly the right kind of stressful though. And the funny part is, this is exactly the same as it was in the first game, but something about the change in perspective, and much, MUCH larger scale of this game makes it work perfectly. The levels are all procedurally generated, but they're big enough and spread out enough that even when you're doing multiple Operations in a row on a single planet, they feel different enough every time.

That's another thing that makes this game feel like a huge amount of time was put into it, there's been a bunch of different planets in just the first month of play, and there's not only some good variety in them, but there's so much more detail in them than I expected from a $40 game. Some of it's just graphical flourishes like really good shafts of light between trees, but other stuff like a dynamic time of day system? I'm not kidding, when picking missions from the map screen (which has a good faux-Mass Effect galaxy map theme), each planet has its rotation, and day and night. A mission might start in night, but slowly turn to day as it goes on, or vice versa.

Speaking of, all the missions have a time limit, and most are forty minutes, though some are closer to twelve or fifteen. It might feel restrictive, but part of the overall progression is finding research samples to extract, and use to upgrade each players' ship. Those are actually the only thing that needs to be extracted. As I said earlier, a mission will still be listed as victory if no Helldivers extract, so long as the objectives were completed. It might be a mournful victory instead of glorious, but a victory is still a victory. Those samples though? You gotta get them on the Pelican, and off the planet. I think there's also bonuses for players actually extracting, so you still want to try to do it. Anyway, point being, if there weren't time limits, players could just casually loot the whole zone for everything, but the limit forces at least a little urgency.

Hitting the time limit doesn't instantly end the mission either, but it does mean the ship leaves low orbit, and takes all the support it provides with it. That means no orbital barrages, no resupplies, and no reinforcements if anyone dies. I'm not sure if the Eagle (the plane that provides air support) goes too, but it wouldn't be able to go back to reload its weapons, so it probably goes too.

I don't think I need to go into detail about how it feels to get down to the last seconds, and just barely extract while being swarmed by enemies. I should mention how great the music is, and how perfectly timed to everything it is. Builds up during the action, but settles down when just exploring planets, and there's nothing going on.

Really though, the best use is dropping down to the planets. You see the Hellpods streaking through the atmosphere, hear this huge swell of the main theme, while reading a funny loading screen tip that's somehow synced up so everyone sees the same thing. Just an immaculate game from top to bottom.

Like, anyone reading this, if you want a game to play with friends, I cannot recommend Helldivers II enough. I play a good amount of co-op games, but a lot of them are fun in the moment, yet ultimately forgettable. That, or playing with a friend doesn't really change the experience that much, you're just giving yourself someone to chat with while you play a game alongside them.

Helldivers II is different. Not wholly unique, in many ways it's just a refinement of the first game. Playing Helldivers II with friends requires genuine cooperation and coordination, and because of that, it's quickly become one of my favorites in the co-op “genre.” Hopefully I can find the right groove of playing this one often enough to sate my need. It'd be a real bummer if I get to the end of the year and my primary thought on this game is, “I just wish I'd played more.”

It's fantastic. Tremendous fun, and funny both from the in game satire, but mostly from the hijinks that happen in the course of play. If nothing else, hopefully I can at least play enough to experience all the big moments. To see how the never-ending war for freedom and Managed Democracy goes. And see what gets added, because when the psychic aliens from the first game come back, I can only imagine the horrors in store for us, haha. Hopefully we'll have mechs to combat them!

Until then, brave Helldivers, remember: DEMOCRACY, and LIBER-TEA!

I'm sure someone is looking at this, thinking about the deluge of new releases in the first few months of this year, and wondering why on Earth out of all the games out there, I'm writing about Suicide Squad: Kill the Justice League. Some of that is purely about practicalities. I'm simultaneously deep into Like a Dragon Infinite Wealth (sixty hours!), while also being far from the end of that, and while I'm loving Helldivers II (and definitely intend to write about that), I'd like to put some more time into it first. Which is increasingly a problem considering there's genuinely too many people playing that game and the servers can't handle it. Also my friends seem to be mostly playing with...other people, which makes me sad, but whatever.

SSKTJL, though, I have played through to completion, or at least to see credits and spend some time in the end game. I did it all co-op too! Well, I spent some time on my own post game to find Riddler riddles and such, but the campaign I did all in co-op. And, to be clear, I enjoyed this game. It has issues, for sure, but I think it is an overall genuinely good game.

It is, however, the sort of game that I think averages out to being good because parts of it are really great, but some other parts...not quite so much.

The core game play, the combination of the mobility all four characters have, and the combat is great. At its best, this game is an absolute blast to play. High mobility action games are fairly common these days, but I feel like most of them are first person shooters. DOOM 2016 paved the way for smaller games like Severed Steel and Prodeus, and Titanfall 2 is one of the all time greats, but for whatever reason I feel like third person shooters really don't try to go for this level of fast, high flying movement? Anthem certainly tried, and Deadshot's jetpack makes him feel like he's just a mechanized suit away from being a Javelin at times. Thing is, as mobile as Anthem felt, it never really felt fast like SSKJTJL?

Part of it is probably that, on console at least, Anthem couldn't even hold a stable 30 frames per second, whereas SSKTJL either hits 60 most of the time, or at least stays in the variable refresh rate window of my TV, so I don't notice small drops. At least usually, it's not perfect, but it's more than good enough for me.

Something that never fails to impress me is when a game like this has multiple different characters that all feel meaningfully different from each other, and they're all fun to play. There are enough games out there that can't even manage to do that with one character, after all. Four is already cool, but more are coming via free updates in the future, so hopefully they all manage to feel different and fun too!

But what makes them different? It's mostly in their different mobility abilities (mabilities?). As mentioned earlier, Deadshot has a jetpack, which lets him fly around like any good jetpack, and hover in the air while aiming, again not unlike Anthem. Pretty straightforward, but the jetpack will overheat, so he has to use a combination of his secondary mability and landing/skimming the sides of buildings to keep that meter out of the red. Obviously just landing is slow, but hitting the dodge button right as he touches the ground puts him into a slide, which instantly resets the jetpack meter and keeps him moving at a good clip. Sliding to chain this stuff together is pretty important to all the characters, I just happened to mention Deadshot first.

The character I've spent the most time with by far (basically the whole campaign, and gotten to the level cap with) is Harley. Not really surprising considering of the characters in this game, she's my favorite generally, but also my favorite to play. Her mabilities center around a grappling hook and Bat-Drone she stole. The grapple can be used just like how Batman used it in the Arkham games, to scale buildings quickly, and with a well timed press of the jump button, she can get a decent jump out of it when cresting the top. When used with the Drone (and the other mability button), however, she can swing anywhere. It's similar to the swinging in Insomniac's Spider-Man games, except instead of actually attaching to a building, she hooks onto the Drone in midair. Really the only similarity is the swinging.

Again, being a video game, there is a delay between swings, and that delay grows after the second swing. Getting the...swing of this was a little tricky at first, but after a while I really got into it. A double jump is enough to keep her at altitude after the first swing, but after the second the cooldown is long enough that she'll almost certainly fall before it's back. So, the strategy becomes a mix of either grappling up and over a building ahead, or diving down into a slide off a building below, and jumping into another pair of swings. When I'm in a good groove, I can get moving across the city real quick with Harley, and she's a blast to play.

King Shark's powers are probably the least complicated of the bunch? He just jumps real good. I guess he does have two different types of charged jump, one straight up, and the other more of a pounce (that also makes him run faster on the ground), and he can air dodge (though the animations really look like he's literally swimming through the air). He's got kind of a ground pound too (separate from his stronger mobility attack), but it's not as fast as Harley's dive, so I didn't find it as useful.

Captain Boomerang, last, but certainly not least here, is definitely the most technical of the bunch. Using his iconic Speed Force Gauntlet (which he also stole), he can...run really fast. Except not really? Most of the time, at least. Being enough of a DC fan that I have a decent familiarity with the Speed Force (I've seen all nine (yes, 9) seasons of the Flash CW series), I know that moving at the sorts of speeds the Speed Force allows for would be really hard to accurately capture in a video game. It'd be some combination of near impossible to control, and maybe more doable with modern SSDs to load in stuff super fast, but still would be hard to implement from a technical perspective.

So instead, Boomer's mabilities are controlled by through his boomerang to target where to go, then there's a fun animation of him zooming about to get there. For example, if he's on a roof and throws the boomerang across the gap to a building on the other side of a street, it'll show lightning bolts of him running down the building, across the street, and up the next building, but all in about a second, ending with him hopping up to grab the boomerang. It's cool! He also has a short dash that's good for darting around in fights, or just eking out a smidge more distance after a long jump.

He does have a way to just run fast, but in order to do it, I think he needs to be above the ground, and throw the boomerang down to it, and if you time a press of the jump button well, he'll start running for a bit, instead of jumping. That wears off after a handful of seconds though, and I think that whole rigamarole needs to be done again to keep going. Unless he's running up the side of a building, then he can just keep going, since all of them have a “just go up the side of this building” move. Anyway, my friend Jay has Boomer as her main, and since we were playing through the campaign in co-op, she was the one running around at the speed of sound whilst I was swinging.

As a quick aside, my only “complaint” with the mobility is that you move through Metropolis so quickly that unless you actively stop to take in your surroundings, there's never much time to just appreciate the scenery. Which is a shame because the retro-futuristic design of the city is really cool! It's bright, and colorful, and maybe it doesn't quite feel real, but it does feel like Metropolis in the same way that the dark and grungy Gotham felt just right in the Arkham games. If anyone reading this does go and play the game, take some time to appreciate the city. It's rad.

Okay, back to the game design.

The other main difference between the characters comes in what weapons they can equip. Everyone has a different type of melee weapon, and I think there's sub-categories of each, but I dunno if that really has a big impact beyond just stats, and maybe a slightly different animation. But this is a shooter after all, so a lot of time is spent shooting, and I think the game does a decent job of getting at what the different fighting styles of each would be. Deadshot is the world's greatest shot (or one of them, DC has a weirdly high number of people who are really good at shooting), so his arsenal is more precise, with sniper rifles, pistols, and assault rifles. Harley, on the other hand, is a wild card, so she can use pistols, SMGs, and...heavy weapons. You know, miniguns. The only other character who can use heavy weapons is King Shark, to put that into perspective.

They all have their own skill trees, which frequently have skills that can be swapped between, but those are basically all passives. A lot of this game revolves around building up a combo meter by getting kills (or other things, depending on the character) without taking too much damage (again, there's skills to mitigate things, so you can take an extra hit or two before the combo goes down). Hitting specific combo counts can activate skills that do things like increase damage, or damage reduction, or regenerate things like grenades, or whatever else. Some other skills are activated by doing specific character mabilities.

For example, since Harley can shoot while swinging from her Drone, she has abilities that buff her whilst swinging, or just airborne in general. So for her, a lot of the time it's smart to keep swinging back and forth, shooting at enemies, then jump off when the grapple is about to give out, and use her mability attack to zoom in, blow up some enemies, then get in some melee hits or a finisher before going back up and swinging over to fight another group of enemies. Boomer, on the other hand, has buffs that go for a certain amount of time after using the Speed Force, so he wants to keep moving. King Shark gets buffs to his melee damage, and I think Deadshot is mostly focused on getting crits with headshots? I apologize for not remembering all the skill trees for all four characters, especially when Harley is the only one I hit the level cap with.

Anyway, suffice it to say, this game is a lot of fun, and there's still a bunch more stuff like afflictions (different status effects that affect enemies in various ways) or the shield harvesting technique that add even more to the combat that I didn't really have time to get into. It's a lot of fun, they all feel suitably different from each other, and aside from a couple quibbles, it's really fun to do with a friend, or friends. Big quibble being that the AI controlled allies feel like they do nothing when playing in co-op, despite being pretty capable in single player. They won't even revive you if you're downed in co-op! They will literally stand there about ten feet away, just looking at you while you wait for your friend to come do it.

We were playing on hard though, so maybe that's different on a lower difficulty? I dunno, but this game felt kinda easy on normal, so I'd still rather play it on hard. The AI doesn't hesitate to revive in single player on hard, I know that much.

So, what's the problem, one might be thinking after I praise the core combat. Well, at least in terms of game design...that's kind of the only thing you do in this game. Most of the missions are basically just defend a thing while fighting waves of enemies. Slight variations, like instead of defending a thing, you need to rescue civilians. But you do that by waiting for an icon to show where they are, then you clear out the enemies, and rescue the person by shrinking them down, collecting them into a Pokéball, then bringing them back to a bus before they suffocate from lack of air. Maybe they should put some more air holes in the balls next time? Certain missions put arbitrary restrictions up, like enemies can only take damage from crits, or when afflicted, and those do add some variety, but they can also be a bit of a pain if you aren't properly equipped.

There's some more unique parts of the game, like an early sequence in a museum retelling the events of the Arkham games, and the boss fights with the titular killing of the Justice League all feel unique, and fun. Otherwise, SSKTJL's biggest issue is it's very repetitive. Playing it with a friend helped alleviate some of that, just by nature of playing games with friends is almost always better than doing it alone, but even then, it's still repetitive.

The story though, and just the writing more generally, are shockingly good? I know there's some number of people online complaining about that stuff, but I feel like they can't have actually played the game. I know story is one of the most subjective things out there, I might love something that someone else hates, and vice versa, but I really like this game's writing. The actual narrative isn't doing anything unexpected, but I kinda prefer that to Rocksteady's focus on big twists in Arkham City and Knight, especially when if the twist ain't so great (like in Knight), it drags down the narrative as a whole.

Suicide Squad is going for something pretty different from those games, which honestly it should be. It's not a Batman game. It's a Suicide Squad game. One about killing the Justice League, and one with a suitably DC explanation for why they need to do so. Brainiac has invaded Metropolis, turned the majority of its population into monsters, and mind controlled all but one of the Justice League to do his bidding. Having played through the game, I think it's a good set up, and one they do good stuff with.

Of course, the other thing I want to write about here is why these sorts of stories, and characters in DC (or at least adaptations, I'm not really a comics reader (to my own detriment, I'm sure)) appeal to me so much. You know, I love characters like Batman like as much as anyone else, obviously I wouldn't have watched nine seasons of the Flash, even when it got bad, if I didn't enjoy the “main cast” of the DC universe. There's just something about when DC focuses on the weirdos and losers on the sidelines that's compelling to me.

Part of it I think is that this is a uni/multiverse that goes to such ludicrous heights in terms of what its most powerful characters can do, that it's just fun to see stories about...not exactly normal people, but closer to normal than the Supermen and Wonder Women of the world. Characters who have no actual superpowers of their own, but whether through resourcefulness, learned skills, or just plain luck, manage to achieve and do super things. So when you take non-super people, and add that extra zest of them being screw-ups, it's a formula that really speaks to me.

And yes, I know, “Batman doesn't have superpowers.” But let's be real here, his superpower is he's a billionaire. He has effectively infinite money. His superpower is that he has the resources to ignore even attempting to have a normal life, so he can instead focus on fighting crime. He can still be a compelling character even after countless different incarnations (Robert Pattinson was brilliant in The Batman!), but he's not the type of loser screw-up I'm talking about.

We all love screw-ups and losers because no matter what we have or haven't done in our lives, we've all screwed up and lost at some point. I got my college degree, and I've completely wasted it, made absolutely zero use of it in the decade since I graduated. You know who else doesn't make good use of her college degree? Harley Quinn, because she lives a life of mildly clown themed crime instead. Okay, that part isn't quite as relatable, but I also don't live in the DC universe. Maybe if I did, I too could be a clown criminal in a queer relationship with a plant person!

Getting away from what-ifs, I think a lot of modern DC stuff is at its best when it's focusing on these sorts of characters from the sidelines than when it focuses on the “main cast.” Even if I'm only looking at the CW DC shows, in a lot of ways I feel like Legends of Tomorrow might secretly be the best of them. It's a collection of side characters from other shows (mostly Flash and Arrow), who team up and travel through time, getting into to all sorts of hijinks along the way. It's far from the best show I've ever seen, but it's fun! Especially after season 1 when they got a better feel for the tone they should be going for.

By focusing on characters that most people haven't really heard of (or might be entirely new to the CW DC-verse), they get to do things that feel different from most “superhero” storylines. Whether it's the bizarre nonsense stories they cooked up, or simply having queer characters, it's just refreshing. For context, two of the main characters in Legends of Tomorrow get lesbian married, and the guy in universe who invented time travel did so because he wanted to go back in time to save his boyfriend.

And don't get me started on Doom Patrol, a show comprised almost entirely of C and D tier DC characters I'd never heard of (and also Cyborg, for some reason), but ultimately I think is genuinely one of the best comic book related shows out there. Also one of my favorite shows that I've seen in the last handful of years, period. It's about a bunch of weirdos who don't really get along at first, but all of them have their own baggage, their own traumas, and I just grew more and more attached to them the more I watched.

Plus, what's not to like about a show where Brendan Fraser voices a foul mouthed robot man? Or a show with a living intelligent street that serves as a safe haven for queer people? A show where, increasingly one of its main points is about how people who are different, for whatever reason, need to stick together, and work together to keep each other safe, and try to make the world a better place. Because if they (or honestly, we) don't, the monsters of normalcy will destroy us all, and if we're not careful, trick us into destroying ourselves.

Again, not to focus too much on just that stuff, because I don't see the main DC movies having queer characters in the forefront. I don't see any Marvel adaptations doing queerness in any sort of meaningful capacity, but Doom Patrol? That does, and it's good! And it does it from the first season too (primarily with Larry's backstory and his former lover), so it's not like something they accidentally stumbled into. It's part of the main thrust of the show.

Anyway, watch Doom Patrol, it's good. I teared up at the end of the final season.

Perhaps more relevant to this game, I also think that The Suicide Squad (the James Gunn film with Idris Elba) is probably the best DC movie from at least the last...decade? That or Shazam, but since Shazam is just kind of a good ole fashioned superhero movie about a kid learning to help people, I kinda appreciate The Suicide Squad feeling different a bit more. Same thing with Birds of Prey, honestly. The Batman is also great, but that's its own thing and it mostly works because it's entirely separated from their mess of a cinematic universe.

Back to Harley, but the Harley Quinn animated series I really like too. Season 4 I felt was probably more miss than hit, even if when it hit was really funny, but on the whole, I like that show a lot. Because it's a show about misfits, weirdos, and losers, but they're losers with heart. Even if it's a bit sappy at times, it's earnest and endearing. Plus, at least from season 2 onward, Harley and Ivy's relationship is a core part of the show, and that is relevant to something I want to say about Suicide Squad the game.

This is, I guess maybe a little spoiler-y, but not really? Also I feel like anyone who actually cares has played the game, so whatever. Since SSKTJL is a continuation of the Arkham games, Ivy is still dead at the start of this game. There's a couple moments early on where Harley expresses how she still misses Ivy, and those moments are sweet, but they're just a couple quick moments. A bit later in the game (but still early-ish), it turns out that while the original Ivy is gone, in the years after Arkham Knight, Lex Corp secretly cloned Ivy, and thus there's a new Ivy!

Except she's a little kid now, which I have mixed thoughts on. Certainly some of those thoughts are that this is their way of preventing any sort of romantic relationship between the two. The sort of thing where based on some of what Harley says to the new Ivy (who can't remember anything clearly from her past life, even if Harley seems familiar), it's up to interpretation whether the two of them were just really close friends, or more than that. My other thought is that I like the way this Ivy is written better than she was in the Arkham games, because she's a maniacal little murder child. That's fun, and I can't deny that I enjoyed listening to her delight in the Suicide Squad inflicting elemental pain on Brainiac's minions.

You know, I don't go into big budget AAA games expecting queer representation. I've written about this plenty. It's just annoying when things like this happen to characters who are about as canonically queer as they can be these days. The closest you get are some allusions that are up to interpretation, and a scene where I'm 99% sure that Harley was hitting on Wonder Woman, but even that is up to interpretation too.

I probably shouldn't write about leaks, but apparently the second character being added is Victoria Fries, rather than the usual Victor. Ms. Freeze, or Mrs? Again this is second hand information about a leak, but supposedly Nora Fries is the antagonist of the Freeze update to the game, so I'm curious how this is going to be handled. Mr. Freeze's entire character, at least in halfway modern versions, is based around how much he loves his wife. So I guess I could see how if they already gender bent the character they could bend that too, but who knows.

That's months away, since the first big update is adding Joker, which I'm also super curious about! More story stuff is coming with every big character update, and like...how are they gonna handle that with Harley? I think that, (despite one of Arleen Sorkin's last performances as Harley being in Arkham Asylum), those games didn't really handle Harley all that well. Certainly not in terms of outfits (which SSKTJL even makes a joke about), but by the time of this game, Harley is very much in the, “regrets her time with the Joker” phase of life. But, thanks to the wonders of multiverses and Elseworlds, it's a different Joker, so I think they could do something interesting with it. Hopefully?

Anyway, one of the things that makes the story side of this game work is that the Suicide Squad are a bunch of ragtag losers. Both in terms of their lives in universe, but also how they're treated as characters as a part of a media franchise. Harley's by far the most popular one here, having had her own feature film and animated series, but the rest? They're two-bit nobodies, but that's what makes them fun!

Crucially, the game leans into that aspect. Yes, they all have useful skills, otherwise Waller (played by one of my favorites, Debra Wilson, doing an absolutely tremendous job with one of DC's most ruthless characters) wouldn't have picked them for the mission. But they're all in prison at the start of the game. And even if they weren't, it's not like their lives were going all that great. At one point in her life, Harleen Quinzel was a psychiatrist. A doctor. Then she fell victim to an abusive relationship that completely changed her life, and now she's a mildly clown themed criminal. George Harkness was just another criminal, but one with an ego so big he decided to declare himself the rival of the fastest man alive despite his gimmick being...boomerangs. Floyd Lawton really only does contract killing to support his daughter, and Nanaue... Well if I'm being honest, I think you really need to screw up pretty badly to go from being a demigod(?) heir to an underwater kingdom, to being locked up in a prison with the likes of those clowns. That, or just trying to escape his own family baggage like everyone else.

Ragtag groups that don't get along at first, but slowly grow to trust and depend on each other aren't anything new. But you know why it's a popular trope? Because it's good! The edgy loner who does everything on his own, using only his skills and billions of dollars to fight crime is cool, but increasingly less relatable the older I get. The bi disaster clown who wasted her college degree, and now commits crimes with an assassin, Australian, and shark? THAT'S relatable.

In all seriousness, the fact that the Suicide Squad are constantly screwing up in the early hours of the game, and getting berated for it by Waller, Lex Luthor, Wonder Woman, basically any and everyone they encounter, it's just kind of refreshing. Lots of games lean heavily on stuff like, “oh, chosen one, you're our only hope,” that sort of “make the players feel good about themselves” stuff. I just like it when a game is about a bunch of dumbasses and they get treated like the dumbasses they are.

It wouldn't work as well as it does if the writing, voice acting, and quality of animations weren't all top notch. And I'm not kidding about the animations, this might genuinely have the best animated faces in any game I've played? To the point where a fair amount of the game's humor comes from little glances, looks, and things like that in the background of cutscenes. Funny reactions to whatever is happening in the foreground, or was said a moment ago. It's a sort of humor that I can't really think of being in any other games, and it's cool to see. Especially since I can only imagine it was an enormous amount of work for things that a lot of people will probably miss, because again, it's often in the background, and pretty quick.

There's plenty of goofy slapstick, and more overt jokes too. One of my favorites is from a conversation between missions when roaming the open world, early on. The Suicide Squad is on their way to “recruit” Penguin so he can supply them with weapons, and en route Harley recounts how Penguin killed and “stuffed” one of her pet hyenas. Upon hearing the word “stuffed,” Boomerang chokes like he's trying not to laugh, and just says, “that means something different in Australia.”

What followed was a second of silence as Jay and I processed what he said, then we both cracked up.

Aside from Deadshot, who by nature of being the one normal person in the group, I think the rest of the Suicide Squad are all really funny. It's kind of a shame that Deadshot misses out on that stuff, but I still think his characterization is good enough. You kinda need at least one normal guy for these kind of groups, to keep it at least a little grounded. Harley is Harley, and as a Harley fan, I think she's good in this game. Captain Boomerang is probably the butt of the most jokes, but he is Australian, after all. And King Shark, more than anything else I'm just glad that Joe Seanoa (aka wrestler Samoa Joe) was cast because he was actually good for the role, and not as a celebrity “stunt” casting.

All the acting is pretty good to great, but there one elephant in the room here. The fact that, for better or worse, this is the final role of Kevin Conroy. The man who was Batman for probably several generations of people now, and for those of us who grew up hearing his voice, likely he always will be. His passing hit me harder than, I'd say any other celebrity death has. Just how much his incarnation of Batman meant to me, and kept meaning to me as I got older, and he kept popping up. The Arkham games were a big reason why I remembered how much I loved his Batman.

And for anyone who hasn't, I highly recommend reading “Finding Batman,” a short autobiographical comic Conroy wrote about his life, and how that all led to his being cast as Batman. It's sad, but all the more powerful for it.

I'm not sure if that's necessarily the best link for it out there, but it's what I found that wasn't like, part of a comics subscription app or anything like that.

Anyway, Kevin Conroy's Batman means as much to me as he does anyone else. All the more so after reading the aforementioned comic and learning not just that he was gay, but how much that shaped his life and who he was. So, when it was announced that his final role was going to be in Suicide Squad Kill the Justice League... I had mixed feelings. Part of me was just happy that we were getting one last role with him, but...did I really want it in a game where he was one of the bad guys, and one where, based on the title of the game, he was going to be killed?

In the time between that announcement and the game's actual release (partly due to it being delayed almost a year), one of those feelings got a lot more subdued compared to the other. By the time I started the game, I was just happy to hear his voice again. Hear him doing something new, rather than rewatching the old animated series again. And I get it, I don't think there's anyone out there who wouldn't rather his final performance be a really personal, touching story about Batman, first and foremost.

But that's not how life works. Sometimes things like this just happen, and people pass away too soon. Besides, I don't think he would have taken the role if he didn't want to do it. There have been so many other Batman voices, across cartoons, animated films, and video games (even one of the Arkham games!), that I can only assume he picked and chose the ones he wanted to do. I saw a video clip where, when asked what characters other than Batman he would want to play, the answer he ultimately gives is, “villains.” So, no, this might not be the final performance people wanted from him, but it's the one we got. And I think judging from his performance in the game, one he enjoyed doing. He definitely didn't phone it in. Honestly, I think his presence makes the game better, and I'm just glad we got to hear him one last time.

I apologize for that being a link to a twitter video, especially if it ever gets deleted. I tried to find a YouTube clip, but I didn't try that hard.

There's also a lot more of him than I expected, as he spends the bulk of the game as the de facto leader of Brainiac's ground forces, so he's constantly heard on the radio giving commands, or trying to demoralize the Suicide Squad. It's good, and again, I think he had fun with the role.

I certainly don't think the game is in any way disrespectful to him, or somehow to fictional character The Batman. If anything, by virtue of none of the Justice League being playable, the game doesn't have to hold back on how their powers are portrayed. Again, I think it'd be extremely difficult to really capture what characters like the Flash and Green Lantern can do as playable characters, never mind the “impervious to everything except what he's 100% weak to” Superman. Wonder Woman I think is in a sweet spot where you could reasonably make a good game with her in the lead (and hopefully whatever Monolith is working on eventually sees the light of day, and is good). But in this game, she is definitely portrayed as being on a level totally above what any of the Suicide Squad is capable of.

Even Batman, it's fun to see what he can do from the opposite end. That sequence early on in the Batman museum begins with him stalking and taking out each member of the Suicide Squad, one by one, until...well, play the game (or look up a YouTube video) to see how they luck into getting out alive.

Part of why I think this game works from a story perspective is that it's about a group of losers who eventually learn that by working together, and using the help from others, they can overcome the impossible suicide mission of taking out the most powerful superheroes on Earth. And even then, it's only because the Justice League have all been mind controlled by Brainiac, and in all his hubris, he just assumes the Suicide Squad poses no threat. He never makes his Justice League actually work together as a team. If they did, I'm pretty sure they would have wiped the floor with the Suicide Squad.

Anyway, flaws or not, I had a lot of fun with SSKTJL, and I fully intend to come back to it for the big updates, at least. As much as part of me would like to get all the characters to the level cap, there's so many other games that I just know realistically I won't. Not in the short term, anyway. But, as much fun as I had...it's the sort of game that I don't know that I can really recommend it to most people. At least not at the current price, I know I wouldn't have wanted to spend $70 on it if I hadn't gotten a $75 PSN gift card for Christmas. Unless you and a friend (or preferably friends plural) are really itching for a co-op shooter, and you're all DC sickos, it's hard to justify right now.

Even if you need a co-op shooter, Helldivers II is right there, and it's a lot cheaper. Never mind being a better co-op game in that you need to actually cooperate as players to succeed on higher difficulties. I guess SSKTJL isn't running into the “too many people are playing” problem, haha, so it's got that going for it.

Still, fun game. Would have been a better game with more bespoke missions, and less repetition, but at the end of the day, the core game is fun, and I liked the story and characters. That's enough for me, at least.

Dunno if I'm going to write anything about Infinite Wealth, that kinda depends on how the story ends up and if I have things to say about that, but I am having a blast with it. That's a heavy recommendation from me. I'll try to write something about Helldivers II, but it might be a while, depending on how much I get to play in the near future. Hopefully the server situation gets sorted out, and my friends have time to play with me, instead of the umpteen other friend groups they have. Listen, it's hard not to get at least a little frustrated when it feels like everyone is playing a multiplayer game, just not with you.

Final Fantasy VII Rebirth is so soon, and I do, genuinely, really truly want to play Persona 3 Reload, since I've not played any version of that game. It's my blind spot in the “three Persona games,” Personas 3, 4 (watched Endurance Run, haven't played it), and 5. We'll see what happens with that game in terms of price drops after I'm done with Rebirth...and Dragon's Dogma II. I can't commit to any other long games until I've gotten through those two. And obviously the other 100 plus hour Sega published JRPG I mentioned above. Oh, and that Prince of Persia, I gotta play that at some point too!!

Lots of great games right now, so I hope everyone reading this has something they're loving at the moment, and something they're excited for soon! Take care out there!

Now, time for Part 2! Here's a link to Part 1, which only makes sense to read first. Unlike Part 1, I definitely dive more into Spoiler territory here, but the worst, most spoiler-y of them are hidden in Spoiler Zones. That said, for anyone reading that really wants to experience a game knowing as little as possible, don't let me ruin it for you. I get into some mechanical Spoilers for Alan Wake II below, and well I'll call out when spoilers happen when I get to the games in question.

So...enjoy!

5. Best Use of Live Action Video of the Year: Alan Wake II.

Moosey stared at their computer, the thin cursor blinking on an off, fading in and out from the white page before them. The same open source text editor they'd been using since college, over a decade ago. Open, and blank. Bright screen almost blinding in the early morning dark. Even if the sun was a ways off, this was when Moosey did their best work. Early in the morning, while they were as awake as they ever could be. Cold air biting through the thin walls of the old house, as they wrapped up with a blanket, trying to think of what to write.

It was that time of year again, December.

December brought with it not just the impending winter and its accompanying darkness, but that same old obligation. The Moosies. For over a decade now, Moosey didn't just write a simple top ten list, they had a whole system of awards. Perhaps “system” was too generous, it was mostly arbitrary. Whatever they thought would be funny, jotted down in the midst of whatever games they played. Yet it came from a place of wanting to acknowledge the noteworthy weird little things in games that would often be overlooked. Who else would take the time to applaud a running joke across a game where the payoff is easily missed, meaning most people probably never met the canine mayor?

All these years, even as they found themself writing about fewer and fewer games every year, Moosey still felt they needed to do this. If being hospitalized a decade ago didn't stop them then, a little apathy and writer's block couldn't get in their way now, surely? Yet here they were, blank page before them, their head shrouded in fog, struggling to find the words they needed.

It's not like they didn't have thoughts about Alan Wake II. It was a great game, and while not their favorite from Remedy, it was certainly one that stuck with them. Likable characters, a compelling narrative, survival horror game design, and lots of quirky weird stuff layered on top. What's not to like about a game that goes to a run down amusement park with a moose mascot (a moose-cot, Moosey giggled to themself)? Herald of Darkness was still stuck in their head, weeks after finishing the game, both the song itself, and the whole sequence around it.

No, that wasn't the problem, none of this was the problem. Alan Wake II wasn't the problem, Moosey was the problem. They'd written about so many games, hundreds of them over the years. Always the same though. Talk about the story, but not too much, don't want to spoil anything. Unless they did, then make sure it was in a spoiler zone. Need to discuss game mechanics, they're video games after all. Every little detail, go into their minutia, page after page if need be. Using written words to describe something meant to be seen through a screen, heard through speakers, and felt through a controller. Obviously the ideal way to get these thoughts across to other people.

Does anyone read this? Actually read it? Moosey didn't know. A few friends sure, but beyond that? Did it ever stick with any of them? Would anyone ever find themselves thinking about something Moosey wrote about a game? Moosey would never know, they weren't a mind reader. And even if they were, they figured that would be more a curse than not knowing ever could be. The only thing worse than dreading the answer to a question you don't want to ask is getting the answer you don't want to hear.

So Moosey sat there, cursor still blinking on and off, thinking about Alan Wake II, trying to find anything even remotely novel to say. There was Saga, new co-protagonist. An FBI agent who wants to both solve the case, and find a way to save her daughter from a supernatural mystery she shouldn't have been involved with in the first place. A compelling character for sure, even if Melanie Liburd's American accent was distractingly inconsistent at points. Which was a shame, because her performance wasn't bad, and Moosey felt sure she could have knocked it out of the park if she could just use her normal accent. She only stuck out in comparison her American co-stars. James McCaffrey and Matthew Porretta had each been in several Remedy games, playing different characters as callbacks to the increasingly meta Remedy Game Universe.

Moosey couldn't help but wonder if Liburd would get to join their ranks and be a regular in Remedy's casts, or if this was just a one off. Would she still working with this studio twenty years after her first role? Considering her character also bears her likeness, they couldn't do anything as meta as what Alan Wake II does. McCaffrey brought the voice of Max Payne while Sam Lake provided the face of Max Payne to Alex Casey, Alan Wake's not so fictional detective. It was certainly a step beyond what most other studios would do.

But then...Moosey felt like they'd been a idiot, there it was, staring them in the face the whole time. Alan Wake. He was a writer, just like Moosey. Not just like them, Alan was successful. Best selling author, able to actually make a living off his writing, something Moosey could only dream of. Out of everything they'd ever done in their life, there was nothing Moosey was as good at as they were writing, and even that they never felt like they were good enough. But still, a dream like that doesn't die easily, no matter how many times they failed, and had to try again.

But more than the desire to make money, Alan had fans, people who loved his writing. People whose lives were changed by his writing. That writing. Moosey had found the answer to their problem. Alan's writing could change the world around him. A clever idea from the original game that was made into a proper mechanic in II. Alan's writing room, where he workshops ideas into drafts, then into the manuscript, and finally into reality.

Locations and ideas, mashed together, made manifest by The Dark Place. If Alan couldn't find a way out as it was, he would write one for himself. But to do that, he'd need to finish his story, diving deeper into the macabre of horror as he himself went deeper into the oceanic lake that was The Dark Place. Alan telling himself that every time the story got darker, more sinister, that it needed to, because it was true to the story. That was the key, more than anything else, just like in any piece of fiction.

The prettiest prose in the world can be meaningless if it isn't earned, just like the ugliest words can be powerful if they are. And when they are, the world itself will shift around them. Physical locations in the game would change depending on what plot elements were attached to them; an empty subway tunnel turning into the scene of a grizzly murder after the blink of an eye, and the clack of a few keys on a typewriter.

It was brilliant. The first time Moosey experienced it, all they could think about was how much they related. Playing out scenes in their head for their next piece of fiction, or pieces they likely wouldn't get to for years, if ever. Running through it different ways, different thoughts on where to take the story, different approaches to characters, some things making small changes, others larger. A process that surely every writer had gone through, in one form or another, but one that Moosey had never really thought about before. Yet here it was, itself made manifest by the people at Remedy, in a game about a writer.

Moosey only wished it'd been pushed even further. An idea like this could be the core of a whole game, a puzzle focused adventure game about a writer reshaping the world around them. The abstract concept of writing changing people's lives made literal. Yet in Alan Wake II, it was mostly used to just move the story along, with only a slight amount of puzzle solving attached to it. Still, this wasn't a complaint. Even if they wished it had been pushed further, Moosey still loved the mechanic. Their favorite idea in a game full of creative and interesting moments.

So, this was the idea that this mechanic gave Moosey. If Alan's writing could change the world around him, change the people around him, perhaps it had changed Moosey too. Small, all but imperceptible, but it had changed them. Affected them enough to let them write about Alan Wake II, and find a novel way to do it.

Write it in Alan's style, Moosey thought to themself. Write about the writing process, just in Alan's style. The style he uses in his manuscript pages. Envision a game of the year blog, but through the lens of Alan Wake II. At least within the scope of Moosey's capabilities, they'd never be able to write and produce a full musical number. Then another idea, terrible as it was great, came to them.

What if I wrote the whole thing in that style?

No, a calmer, more rational thought overrode it. Gimmicks are only fun so long as they don't overstay their welcome, and Moosey felt like they were pushing their luck as it was. As much as Moosey liked the game, and Alan as a character, they couldn't imagine reading a whole book written in Alan's style. It was obnoxious and overwrought. Moosey also thought the frequency with which Alan started multiple sentences in the same paragraph with the character's name to be amateurish at best, and irritating at worst.

At least Sam Lake and company are better writers than Alan, Moosey thought to themself. It takes a special skill to intentionally do something poorly, assuming that even was Remedy's intent.

Moosey felt it was time to wrap this up, so they did just that. Alan Wake II was one of the best games Moosey played in a year filled with great games. Far from perfect, but one not quite like anything else they'd played, and it was going to stick with them for a long time to come.

Moosey felt sure of it. They only wished they'd had the time to play the new game plus mode patched in to see the new story content, but there would be time for that.

Eventually. Perhaps when the DLC releases...

Alan Wake II also wins:

• Best musical sequences of the year: Herald of Darkness.
• Most meta game of the year.
• Flashlights of the year.
• Mind Place and Writer's Room of the year.
• Small town of the year: Bright Falls.
• Deer floats of the year.
• Moose-cot of the year: Mocha the Moose.
• Diner of the year.
• Sweater of the year.
• Profiling start of the year.
• Cardboard cutouts of the year.
• In world television commercials and radio shows of the year.
• Pettable taxidermy deer heads of the year.
• Talk show host of the year: Mr. Door.
• Janitor of the year: Ahti.
• Three dimensional audio of the year.
• Words of power of the year.
• Non-Euclidean geometry of the year.
• Plot boarding of the year.
• Colored Lighting of the year.
• Mayor of the year: Mayor Setter.

Also, I just want to add, rest in peace James McCaffrey. The news about his passing broke after I wrote the previous segment, and honestly, it felt more respectful to not include this in that section what with how I wrote that.

He didn't have that many roles in video games, and most of those were Remedy games, but still he managed to have one of the most iconic voices in video games. Rest in peace to an absolute legend.

Game I'm Most Surprised I Got Into: Marvel Champions, via Tabletop Simulator.

I've got this friend, let's just call him, “Will.” Now, “Will” has been obsessed with a few card games, particularly Marvel Champions, for years. To the point where myself and some other friends would poke a little fun at him for how all he ever did was play card games. It was a running joke that he played into, which only encouraged us to keep teasing him about. The sort of playful teasing friends do with each other, none of it was ever mean-spirited. Anyway, the point being, since he loved Marvel Champions so much, he was trying for years to get the rest of us to give it a shot. Partly because it's a cooperative game, and us playing would mean more people to play with, but also because he believed (correctly) that we would enjoy it too.

So, long story short, eventually everything aligned, and “Will” got myself, and a couple other friends to finally try Marvel Champions, and since we all live far apart from each other, we did it via Tabletop Simulator. Using a free “Marvel Champions Hitch's Table” mod that features scans of all the cards, and is still being updated as more is added to the official game. Tabletop Simulator itself is fine, has its own quirks (and I know the developers have gotten in hot water in the past), but it gets the job done. I'd say the same for the mod. None of this is as smooth or streamlined as a proper digital edition of Marvel Champions would be, but Tabletop Simulator is relatively cheap (plus “Will” gifted it to me), and the mod is free, as opposed to the hundreds of dollars “Will” has spent buying all of the decks for the physical version.

But what about Marvel Champions itself? Well, I won't lie, it was a bit tough wrapping my head around it at first. Not because it's the most complex game in the world, more because I had never really played this sort of card game before. Even little things like why some cards have the name of the card on the top, and others on the side were tripping me up, and frustrating at first.

It turns out the answer to that is that for upgrade cards (which have the name on the side), apparently they're supposed to be placed beneath the card they're upgrading, with the name poking out from the side. I don't actually think that would be smart to do though, because a lot of upgrades need to be exhausted to use (you're supposed to rotate them (sleepy mode) to signify that), and even for heroes I've played before, I often still need to glance at the descriptions to remember exactly what they do, and that'd be a hassle if they were under something.

Thanks both to the game itself being very good, and “Will” having the patience to guide me along (due to his playing the game with his sons (one of whom is quite young)), I stuck with it, and have had a ton of fun playing it. Some of that is the nature of playing cooperative games with friends is almost always fun, but as a Marvel fan it's cool to just see how things are interpreted into a card game. I've played a bunch of different heroes at this point, gone through several campaigns, and am still being surprised at how well this game manages to convey things. Sometimes it's simple things, like Captain America's resolve to never give up coming through his “I can do this all day” ability to discard something and ready himself (I know a lot of heroes have ways to ready themselves, but Cap was one of the first ones I played, and still my favorite). Still, there's something about Cap, and his cards that just makes him feel reliable, and good in just about any situation, even if he's pretty straightforward to play compared to other heroes. But that just feels like Cap should.

Sometimes it's a bit more abstract, though. Starlord, who I initially had some trouble finding the right balance on, has what I call a Bubsy style of play. He can reduce the cost to play any card by up to three...at the cost of dealing himself an encounter card, which causes more problems for the heroes once they get to the villain phase. BUT, he also has a variety of cards that get extra effects or do more damage/thwart the more encounter cards are in front of him, so it becomes a real tight balancing act. Get more done at once, but have to deal with more problems later on. What could possibly go wrong? It's 100% what Starlord would say, and do.

Or Colossus, who is literally made out of metal, and with whom I managed to go two games in a row without taking a single point of damage. Just the night before I wrote this, I tried out Storm, whose mastery over weather could lead to some really fun swings when all the cards lined up right. Each different type of weather effects everyone, heroes and villains alike. Plus one to damage from Thunderstorm is great when it's us getting buffed, a little less so when it's the bad guys. Not that one damage is that big a deal in the grand scheme of things, but there's been plenty of times when one of us (mostly “Will,” for some reason) is down to one health. So that one extra damage could be the difference between life and death. Still, having all the cards line up just right so she can change the weather multiple times per round, and get a whole lot done was a lot of fun.

I could probably say something similar about every hero I've played thus far, and there's still a lot left I haven't tried (never mind ones like Miles and Gwen that I've only played once or twice, but would like to revisit). Not that I really want to try all of them, but I'm really impressed by the variety in this game. Both for the heroes, and the different scenarios. Fighting the four members of the Wrecking Crew at once is a very different feel than trying to keep The Collector from stealing too many of our cards.

Never mind the most fearsome and difficult of villains: Absorbing Man. His encounter in the Red Skull campaign is the one time our group has actually lost (yes, we managed to get through Galaxy's Most Wanted without losing, despite all three of us thinking we were done for during Ronan), so it's become a recurring joke that he's the strongest villain in Marvel.

I don't really have any particular interest in the deck building part of the game, but there's plenty of decks to be found online (or provided by “Will”), so I'm good there. It's fun, and I'm glad I gave it a chance. I was kinda expecting to bounce off it, but now it's given me another thing to do with friends, and that's always a good thing.

Thanks, “Will.”

4. Action Horror Remake of the Year: Resident Evil 4.

I think something in me changed when I played the Resident Evil 4 remake. It unlocked a piece of my brain, and left me in permanent “survival horror sicko mode.” But let me explain, because it was the original RE4 that introduced me to series.

See, when starting RE4 remake, like many games, it provides a selection of difficulties. And like many games, it includes brief recommendations for what type of gaymer each difficulty is suited for. Easy is for people who want to experience the story, and that makes sense. It's Normal and Hardcore that gave me pause. Normal, the game says, is for people who haven't played the original RE4, while Hardcore is for those who have.

This...left me puzzled. I loved RE4, but I never thought it was a particularly difficult game. I know game difficulties and specifically what makes them hard have changed a lot since that era, but RE4 felt pretty average in that regard. Or at least that's my memory of it, as I haven't played the game myself since 2005, when it was a new GameCube exclusive.

So, looking at the difficulty select screen, with Hardcore saying it was for people who played the original, I couldn't not pick it, so I started the game on Hardcore. Telling myself that if it was too hard, I'd just turn the difficulty down, not realizing that you can't change it without starting a new game.

And it was brutal. The first handful of hours of RE4 remake on Hardcore, I am not exaggerating when I say it was some of the most brutal, toughest, harshest fights I've had in any game I can remember. I died frequently, and when I survived, I was almost out of ammo, out of healing items, and limping along with Leon's health in the red.

Yet I persevered. Every time I felt my resolve slipping, I told myself I'd give it one or two more tries, then I'd scrape by the skin of my teeth, and keep venturing forward. Slowly upgrading Leon's health, and his weapons, along with my own skills. Getting a better feel for how the enemies react and work, timing for the parry (and what a great feeling nailing the knife parry is!), and when the best time to use what weapons are.

The new repeater crossbow, with being able to retrieve bolts is especially useful. Ammo management was never an issue in the original, Leon was carrying far more than he'd ever need through the bulk of that game. But here, every bullet feels precious, and being able to alleviate that by reusing shots felt all but necessary to proceed.

And it even plays into other things through the crafting, which has become a staple of Resident Evil since VII. Leon's knife can break (and be repaired at the Merchant), but is supplemented with disposable knives. Those break even faster, but one of them can be crafted into a few bolts for the crossbow. So the play ended up being using a knife until it almost broke, then craft it into bolts. Yes, they're reusable, but only if they hit somewhere Leon can reach, and sometimes in the heat of battle, I miss wildly, haha. Assuming they aren't attached with explosives, those do a ton of damage, but are obviously lost after use. So it makes sense to keep crafting more.

Even though I was still dying regularly, the deeper in I got, the more I found myself not struggling, but thriving. There was never any way that this remake could fully replicate what the original RE4 made people feel, but instead of that it gave me something new. It was dangerous, and brutal, and unforgiving, and it made every encounter feel like it could be the one that broke me. The one that made me turn tail, and start over again on Normal.

Things changed once I reached the Castle though. By this point I had enough upgrades, a large enough arsenal, and crucially the body armor, so suddenly the tide started to turn. Leon now felt pretty survivable (so long as I remembered to repair the armor at the Merchant), but Ashley would get knocked down after only a hit or two, so the game didn't suddenly become easy.

Still, I kept going. Eventually Leon got upgraded enough that dying became the outlier, rather than the norm, but it stayed challenging throughout. Bosses in particular were hard, but those are supposed to be. Eventually, I finished the game, and was utterly distraught to unlock Professional Mode, realizing that the game could get even harder.

I have not tried Professional Mode.

The experience of struggling through so much of this game on such a merciless setting...like I said, I think it changed something in me. It made me yearn for the challenge. Made me want to scrape by, giving it my all to really work for victory. Not that I haven't enjoyed plenty of games on hard before, but this felt different. This wasn't just, “oh this is harder,” this made it feel like a different sort of game than what I expected. And I have to say expected because outside of playing the demo months and months ago, I can't really compare it to Normal, because I just went straight for Hardcore.

Though, despite also playing Separate Ways on Hardcore, that felt different too. Part of what made Hardcore special was the resource management. Like I said earlier, the original RE4 doled out ammo and herbs like candy, I don't remember ever wanting for anything. The newer Resident Evils, both remake and wholly original, have pushed the series back to proper survival horror. VII and 2 remake in particular are full on survival horror, and even Village is for a lot of it, but that also gets very silly and over the top in parts, so it's kind of a mix.

RE4 remake on Hardcore, though, feels like it's found the perfect sweet spot. The original was just an action game with a horror aesthetic, and the occasional puzzle to solve. On Hardcore, there's enough enemies and action that it feels true to the original, but the resources are tight enough that it feels true to the survival horror spirit running through most of the modern entries. It is an incredibly thin tightrope to walk, and I'm sure for many people they wouldn't like it, but for me, it felt perfect. Everything I didn't realize I wanted from this remake, and I'm thrilled they pulled it off.

Back to Separate Ways. I played that on Hardcore too, yet I was finding so much ammo, and so many herbs that it felt like a very different, easier experience. I almost wonder if it was a bug, or an oversight, but it didn't ruin the DLC. While I still would have preferred if it was a bit harder, it was great overall. Definitely a must play for anyone who enjoyed the base game, and not that I like to equate value to time versus price, but it's shockingly long for $10. And good too! I'm just saying it's got a lot of meat on it, especially for being half the price of the Village DLC.

And, importantly, several sequences from the original game that aren't in the core part of the remake, are re-imagined in Separate Ways. I'm not gonna say what they are, just that I was very happy to see they weren't left behind in the annals of gaming history because they were “too silly.”

Suffice it to say, I had a tremendous time with RE4 remake. Like, nothing could ever truly replicate the feeling of playing that original game back in 2005. It was genuinely revolutionary in a way that this sort of game can't be now. Not with the budgets that games this big require, and how they need to be at least relatively safe to ensure they sell well enough. But it still manages to be what it needs to be, and I'm all the happier for it.

Plus, like I said, it changed something in me. That brutal challenge made me wish I had played the Dead Space remake on hard. It directly led to me playing Alan Wake II on hard. It's got me thinking I should branch out and play more proper survival horror games, including some outside the big budget space like these. People like Signalis, maybe I should give that a shot. Maybe it's finally time to try The Evil Within 1 (bear in mind how much I love 2), which I shied away from at the time partly because of technical issues, but also because it seemed too extreme on the survival horror scale.

Until then though, I continue to be happy with this new era of Resident Evil. Outside of the 3make (which I haven't played, just watched Abby's playthrough from before she left GB), from VII onward these games have all been great, easily my favorite era for the franchise. I just feel a little trepidatious about what's next. I don't think a 5 remake is a great idea, especially if it ends up being the 3 team that makes it. I'd rather these teams work on new games (which I assume is what the Village team is doing), but only time will tell.

Resident Evil 4 also wins:

• That dog of the year.
• Jacket of the year: Leon.
• Second best jacket of the year: Luis.
• Most nostalgic quips of the year.
• Hair strands of the year.
• Crows of the year.
• Most realistic walking of the year.
• Merchant of the year.
• 3D inventory screen of the year.
• Roundhouse kick of the year.
• Suplex of the year.
• Knife parrying of the year.
• Best use of a boat.
• Best eggs.
• Escort mission of the year.
• Save screen music of the year.
• Knife duel of the year.
• Wrecking ball of the year.
• Friendly helicopter of the year.
• Most 2005 objective of the year: Destroy an AA gun.
• Jetski of the year.
• Escape sequence of the year.
• Arcade mode of the year: Mercenaries Mode.
• Best game to think about while in a vaccine induced fever dream.

Old Game of the Year #3: Xenoblade Chronicles 3.

Xenoblade Chronicles 3 has one of the most interesting worlds, and best setups for a game that I have experienced in recent years, combined with a combat system that if I'm being frank, I would describe as a cacophonous mess. This specific pairing makes this game a lot harder for me to write about than it might seem. I could just give a recap of the basic premise, then say I don't want to spoil anything else, and end with, “isn't that interesting, maybe you should go play it yourself!” I could go deep in on spoiling the plot, but given I played the game months ago, I'd feel like I would need to go read a synopsis to make sure I wasn't forgetting anything important (I don't think so, but I have a bad habit of second guessing myself).

And I don't really want to spend time talking about the game part, because if I do it'll sound like I didn't like this game. The thing is though, I really did. I spent 130 hours in this world, with the main six characters, and all the side characters who came along for bits of the ride, and I was really invested in their journey. It's not as impressive on paper as the thirteen playable characters from 13 Sentinels, but I still think having a six member party, with every one of them getting a lot of time to be have as big of roles in the story as they do is impressive.

Yes, I know, Noah and Mio are the two main protagonists, but I'd feel bad sidelining the others. Eunie, Taion, Lanz, and Sena are all great too! Watching all their relationships with each other develop, watching all of them grow and change over the course of the game, that's really the reason why XC3 is one of my top “old games” of the year. No, I didn't love the combat, but it was fine. The biggest issue is that having seven party members active in battle at once turns it into an indecipherable mess. Made me finally realize why everything else limits parties to three or four. But the story and characters are so strong that I would have put up with a much worse combat system in order to see this through to the end.

I know XC3's expansion is supposed to be excellent as well, but I've yet to get around to it. Someday. Probably.

Of course I can't write about a Xenoblade Chronicles without mentioning the soundtrack, which is honestly one of the best I've ever heard. These games (or at least the first, I didn't play X or 2) always have incredible music, but I feel like they've topped themselves again. Part of it may be things like having a larger budget now that these games are at least mildly successful, but it also just feels more thematically tied to the game than what I remember from the first.

For example, Noah and Mio both play the flute, as part of a ritual to send dead soldiers on to whatever lies next after death (a subject very relevant to the story which I shall not spoil!). There's a lot of flute playing in the story, and that in itself is beautiful, in a deeply melancholic way. And, since the two main protagonists are flutists, there's a lot of prominent flute in the soundtrack.

Including this sick new version of “You will know our names,” which features ripping guitar alongside the flutes. I'm not kidding or exaggerating in the slightest when I say this is one of my favorite boss themes ever. The original in the first XC already was, but this one somehow tops even that.

I know a lot of this probably reads like I'm writing around the game, instead of about it, but that comes from a place of not wanting to spoil anything for anyone who hasn't played it yet. That, and perhaps a little sleep deprivation, as I feel like despite my best efforts to get sleep, I may be developing a mild insomnia. But don't worry about that, just know that Xenoblade Chronicles 3 is a great game. My favorite in the series (never mind that I haven't played half of them (yes I know X isn't directly connected like 2 is)), for sure. Even just listening to some of the music again while I write this is making me feel all emotional again, so yeah. Great game.

3. Best game to have waited about six months to play while they fixed technical issues: Star Wars: Jedi: Survivor.

Jedi Survivor is what I want from a sequel. It learns the right lessons from the previous game, improves on many things, and expands its scope and ambitions in smart ways. The combat feels better overall, and a lot more varied with the additional Lightsaber stances and greater enemy variety. The levels themselves are much larger, more interesting to explore, and return to. The one main planet Koboh is so big it almost feels like an open world. Not quite, but almost. Even the map is waaaaaay better than it was in Fallen Order!

The only problems being, while Jedi Survivor doubles down on what made the first game good, it also doubles down on some of its issues. Particularly technical ones. I very deliberately waited like six months before buying it, hoping they would update the game to at least make the performance mode relatively smooth, but at a point gave up, and just bought it when I saw a good enough deal. As luck would have it, the game got an update to fix performance mode that week. My timing could not have been better!

Even after the patch, it's still not perfect, and the primary way of addressing the framerate in performance mode was turning off the ray tracing, which makes sense. The issue with that being the game's screen space reflections are so bad that I genuinely think it would look better without reflections at all. They aren't prevalent enough to ruin the game by any means, but it is extremely distracting to be running along a stream of water, and see a Cal shaped hole in the reflection.

And that's a shame because I think this game looks kind of incredible, even in performance mode. The main characters have a ridiculous amount of detail in them, as do many of the environments. But more than any of that, the HDR is amazing. I know I'm a sucker for bright glowy lights, but this game does them really well. Not just bright lights, there's so much across the game that just looks fantastic, at least when it's working as intended.

Despite the combat being better on the whole, there's still one frustrating aspect to it. The Lightsaber stances are cool, but only two can be equipped at a time, out of five. It wouldn't be too bad if they could be swapped out in the pause screen, but nope. The only places they can be changed are at meditation spots (still working like Dark Souls bonfires), and workbenches (mostly used for customizing cosmetics on Cal's weapons, and BD-1).

A thing I think about a lot, even without this context, is the Devil May Cry series. Mostly DMC 5, but the other games too. I really do love stylish action games, and I know Jedi Survivor isn't trying to go all the way down that rabbit hole, but when a game has “pause for the right amount of time mid combo to do something different,” I can't help but think about DMC. Now, in DMC 3, they introduced styles for Dante, but they could only be changed at certain points too. Even back then, I think that really only encouraged doubling down on a single style, and probably either Swordmaster to get the most out of the melee weapons, or Trickster to have a dedicated dodge button.

In DMC 4, they realized how limiting that was, and changed it so Dante would instantly swap between his four main styles at any moment, even mid combo. DMC 4 has a lot of its own issues, particularly the Dante sections just being Nero's levels but in reverse, but this was a brilliant change that made Dante even more of a joy to play. Of course my love of DMC 5 (my game of the year 2019) is well known, and I'd still say Dante in 5 is the peak of stylish combat across any and all games I've played.

All this is to say, only having two fifths of the stances at a time is really limiting. And these are like, they don't even directly compare to Dante, because his styles only affect what the Circle button does. Probably a better comparison would be to his weapons, which he can cycle through all of mid combo as well. Cal's stances are meant to fill different roles in combat. Single blade is good for fighting single targets, and double bladed is great for dealing with larger groups. Dual wielding is super fast and a good mix of single target and group clearing, while saber and blaster has great range and single target damage. Finally, crossguard is slow and heavy, but does massive damage.

Obviously, there's overlap in them, so the game is built with this limitation in mind. But since each stance has its own skill tree to level up, the limitation encourages players to just focus on two, and ignore the rest. I ended up relying on blaster and dual wield the most, because those felt like a good reliable combination to get through most fights, and they were the ones I had the most fun with.

I just think it's a mistake to design five stances and restrain them within a system that forces people to only use two. Sure, it'd be more “complex” if people could switch between all of them at once, but I think that complexity would make the game better, not worse.

Anyway, as much as that limitation frustrates me still, I think Jedi Survivor is a really great game. I had tons of fun with the combat (again, me playing on hard because I'm a sicko (I played most of the original on hard too)), and exploring the worlds too. That said, I think I've gone on as far as I reasonably should about game systems, and should touch on the story.

Which is tricky, because I don't want to just do a spoiler zone plot synopsis. But I need to say something, because this game's ending has really stuck with me in ways that I truly, one hundred percent did not expect. There's one moment in particular that I almost want to say haunts me, and bear in mind I mean that as a positive when I say it.

Star Wars has long been about the “light” and the “dark,” both as metaphors, and as literal concepts. I tend to prefer when it's more metaphorical than literal, to be frank. As a media franchise, even when major entries (like the films) have “dark” or “bad” endings, they always have a lot of “hope” in there to balance it out.

Like, Empire Strikes Back, for example. Things end pretty badly for Luke and friends, but the ending still feels fairly upbeat and hopeful. I think part of that is because they all did their best, and made what felt like the right decisions in the moment, even if some of those were no win situations. Like, Luke was going to lose one way or the other whether he abandoned his training to go help his friends, or abandoned his friends to keep training with Yoda.

Jedi Survivor feels...different. Like Empire, it too is a “dark middle chapter,” but not in the way that Empire was. Empire ends with the main cast losing, but still ready to keep fighting. Jedi Survivor, on the other hand, ends with Cal winning, but not to sound cliched, at what cost? And I don't mean a cost in terms of people dying, that may or may not happen, play the game to find out. I mean a cost to Cal, and his giving in, and letting his darker side out.

I tried to avoid spoilers as best as I could, but I need to get in just one paragraph (maybe...five). Skip over it if you haven't played the game, this is the ending of the game.

SPOILERS.

It's a depressing ending, but I can't stop thinking about it. I'm sure that once Cal's story is done (presumably the next game is the finale of a trilogy) he will have come back around and be fully on the light side again, but at least for the next who knows how many years, I don't have an answer to that question. Maybe he could fully succumb to the dark side. Not become evil in the way that Ole Sheev is evil. More dark side in the sense that he wants to do good, but has given up the niceties of pretending to follow the “ideals” of the Jedi Order, and is crossing lines that he shouldn't. I think that would be interesting...but only time will tell.

Until then, I had a tremendous time with Jedi Survivor. I wish I could access all five stances in combat, but otherwise I think it does what a video game sequel should do, and is a big improvement over its predecessor. The story is a little depressing at the end, but in a good way, and I can't wait to see what happens next. I will say that if they kill off BD-1 I will genuinely cry. I love my little robo buddy to the ends of the galaxy and back.

Star Wars Jedi: Survivor also wins:

• Returning robo buddy of the year: BD-1.
• HDR of the year.
• Sliceable meat of the year.
• Unlockable facial hair of the year.
• Swooping robot/weapon customization of the year.
• Salt shaker of the year.
• Space toilet of the year.
• Alien critters of the year.
• Weirdo alien designs of the year.
• BD-Noculars of the year.
• Battle Droids/ “Roger Roger” of the year.
• Force powers of the year.
• Dueling of the year.
• Rideable friends (mounts) of the year.
• Hand washing of the year.
• Gay slug of the year.
• Fisherman of the year: Skoova Stev.
• Pistol twirling of the year.
• Most improved 3D map over its predecessor.
• Wet clothing of the year.
• DJ droid of the year.
• Most/best pettable alien critters.
• Yoshi of the year: Nekko.
• Fishtank of the year.
• Saloon of the year.
• Door technician of the year: Rick.
• Dark middle chapter/sad story of the year.
• Star Warsian soundtrack of the year.
• Turgle.

Old Game of the Year #2: Disco Elysium: The Final Cut.

Disco Elysium is one of those games where I was kind of intentionally putting off ever trying to play it. It's the sort of thing where the people who like it, really like it. And they really like people to know they like it, and it became one of those things where the Disco Elysium fans were a bit obnoxious, and at least in the realm of the people who talk about games on podcasts, and write about them on websites, the sort of already kind of obnoxious people whose opinions I don't always jive with, if that makes any sense.

That, plus my initial exposure to the game being the Quick Look Abby did years ago, it wasn't a particularly flattering first impression of the game, so it wasn't until very recently that I actually got around to playing it. Funnily enough, apparently Abby didn't get around to a full playthrough until 2023 either.

All this preamble is to say that my expectations of what I thought this game would be like were...not entirely wrong, but pretty wrong. There are absolutely still some things about this game that are obnoxious. There were some moments where I rolled my eyes, and some bits where I found myself buttoning through the long paragraphs of text rather than waiting for the voice acting to finish (particularly the dream sequences when the Limbic System and Lizard Brain just keep going on and on and on). There are still dialog choices that read like things no actual human being would ever say, and more than a few that are so racist, sexist, or whatever else-ist that it just makes me wonder what kind of person would ever want to pick them?

However, I had a realization very early in Disco Elysium about what this game actually is, or rather, a style of play that would make it click for me, and let me have a really great time with it. And that's the ability to play it as a buddy comedy where Kim Kitsuragi is the straight man (despite being a queer icon), and Harry is the wacky weird one. Kim is just here to solve a murder, but Harry is more interested in what really matters. Like cryptids! Or investigating if a particular building is cursed. Perhaps helping a bunch of weirdos turn a church into a nightclub named “Disco Elysium.” Of course communism! Specifically being the catalyst to bring it back.

The fact that Disco Elysium has as strong, and consistent a sense of humor as it does really did completely change my concept of what this game is. Listening to the podcasters of the world, it's just a serious game about serious topics. But playing it, I was finding ridiculous new things to focus on instead of the murder case almost the whole way through.

Even that murder case though, is quite good! And the game really covers just about everything you would want to investigate with a fictional murder. The horribly rotted body itself, looking for clues around the world, talking to witnesses with varying levels of willingness to cooperate, etc. And, I really cannot overemphasize that this game truly does have as many different ways to go about things, or clues and bits of dialog that impact other things as it's been made out to.

Disco Elysium has a compelling enough story and world that it could have worked as just a linear adventure game, but it's also one of the coolest RPGs I've played...ever? If I'm being truly honest, I actually don't like RPG mechanics in a lot of games. I feel like either they let you do basically anything, because the game is easy enough that nothing really matters, so the game has to be designed generically to allow for anything, or they're difficult enough that really the optimal way to play is to look up builds online. But then, what's the point of me role playing if I'm just using a template someone else created?

That's why for combat in games, I tend to prefer ones that are highly focused on a specific style of play. As an example, in terms of just the pure combat and nothing else, Sekiro is my favorite From Software game, because it is so highly focused on one style of play. The game is built around that, so I need to actively engage with every aspect of it. Contrast that with Elden Ring, which allows for a myriad different ways to play, but none of them feel quite as good to me as Sekiro, even if I like Elden Ring as a whole much more (because of the world, story, etc).

Where Disco Elysium fits into this, is that while it is an RPG, there's no combat. Not in the traditional sense, at least (there's one part that could sort of be considered a fight, but I'm not getting into that). There's a slew of different...skills, for lack of a better word, to put points into, and there are lots of skill checks along the way that might have little to no effect on anything important, or they might completely change the course of the story.

But it's not just skill checks, because these aren't just skills. They're...parts of Harry's personality? So like, for example, the higher Harry's Empathy, the easier it is for him to empathize with people. Conversely, the higher his Authority, the more likely he is to see the world through the eyes of a fascist, and instead of empathizing with someone who made a mistake and regrets it, he might want to crack down and punish them for it. It's not just fairly straightforward concepts like that, some of them get really abstract and out there.

Inland Empire, which I ended up with at ten by the end of the game (including a plus one from a bird necklace I got from Lena), is all about connecting with the abstract, the weird, and the inexplicable. And I will say, playing the game as someone obsessed with cryptids, having a high Inland Empire was pretty good at the end, but I will not spoil why. I will say though, and the game kind of gets at this with its in game descriptions, but having high stats isn't always better. Yes, I was more in tune with the weird, but that's not always helpful when trying to do the on the ground legwork of solving a real murder.

Another example, late in the game when my quest to restart communism came into being. Part of it was that, somehow, my Rhetoric skill decided it was going to sniff out fellow communists. According to the voice of Rhetoric in Harry's head, that meant literally smelling them with his nose. BUT, because I also had high Perception (thanks to obsessing about an invisible bird), Perception kept butting in to say no, actually, Harry would not be literally smelling the concept of communism. So, any time Rhetoric got a whiff of a communist, Perception would butt in, and describe actual, physical scents instead.

First off, the way this game conveys having different thoughts in Harry's head fighting against each other is really cool. It's silly, and at times funny, but I've literally never played another game that did something like this. Then, factoring in that I only got this to happen because of both where my stats were at (from points spent and bonuses from clothing), and choices consciously made throughout the game, it truly is one of a kind. No other game really made me feel like I was “playing a role” more than Disco Elysium.

And from talking about the game with a friend after finishing it, I just know there's still so much more in there that I didn't see because I didn't have the stats, or didn't take the time to do something, or just made one choice instead of another.

Now, don't get me wrong, this stuff can be frustrating too. Stats from clothing are important, and it's cumbersome to be equipping and unequipping stuff just to get a bonus to an invisible dice roll. It can be beyond frustrating when some of these rolls fail, and things go really wrong. Like, I don't mind failing if it's something like Harry being unable to break down a door because I didn't put points into physical strength. But I do mind if I fail a check about a pinball machine, and then the game gives me only a single dialog option, and it's racist against my friend Kim. That's a case where I 100% save scummed to not be racist.

Speaking of, Kim Kitsuragi is the best. Genuinely, I know I just lathered on the praise for this game's systems, which would still be there even if Kim wasn't, but he really elevates and makes this game work. Or rather, makes the story work. He's really the perfect partner for Harry, dry when he needs to be, helpful when help is needed, and with the patience of a saint. Also a hilarious impatience for things like cryptids, AND YET, still willing to go along with it after enough prodding.

One of my favorite bits in the game is when Lena starts talking about cryptids, and Kim tries to get Harry to move along. “Just one more,” Harry asks Kim, and he begrudgingly allows just “one more.” But as any gaymer will say, one more never means one more, and Kim gives in to that too, and lets Harry ask about all the cryptids. His exasperation at this is just perfect. I love it.

Since I played The Final Cut, which has full voice acting, I do want to praise that as well. Some of the bits of Harry's internal thoughts were maybe a smidge slow (though I have to praise Lenval Brown for doing all of them), but all the spoken dialog, again, elevates the game. Kim's actor (Jullian Champenois) in particular, is key to that character, and the game as a whole working.

Disco Elysium is the perfect example of how glad I can be to have my expectations be wrong. I genuinely thought I was going to bounce off the game, and say it wasn't for me. Instead, it was one of my favorite experiences of the year. Now, to be clear, I'm still glad I waited, because I know I would not have liked it as much without the voice acting. I have no idea what else was changed, or added with The Final Cut, but I'm a strong believer that good voice acting breathes new life into good writing, and it absolutely does so here.

Plus, there's a froggy visor. It gives a bonus to perception. What's not to like?

2. Story of the year: Marvel's Spider-Man 2.

As a note, I don't really spoil too much, but if anyone (Callie) is reading this and wants to go into the game fresh, just skip this. You know I love the game, that's good enough, haha.

What can I say? Despite it all, after all these years, I'm still a sucker for Spider-Man. And also his partner in crime (fighting), Spider-Man. In all seriousness though, a thing I have thought about a lot is the supposed “superhero fatigue” that is brought up if not any time a new superhero thing is out, then at least for the MCU, and I feel like I have a...slightly more nuanced take on this, particularly in light of how things like Spider-Man 2 still manage to receive acclaim, and sell very well.

People aren't fatigued by superheroes, the MCU has just not been good in recent years. People are tired of the MCU, not superheroes in general. But since I don't want this to devolve into any more about the MCU than this (particularly because I haven't seen any from the last year or so (I've heard GotG 3 is very good)), how about instead I get to why I loved Spider-Man 2 so much?

Recently a couple friends and I were talking about Marvel in general, and one was a little hesitant to say Spider-Man was her favorite superhero when asked, because he's a “kinda boring answer” because he's so popular. I mean, he's my favorite superhero too, which is probably not the answer I would have given as a kid. I would've said Batman back then, but as much as Batman stories can still be enjoyable, there's just something about Spider-Man that only becomes more relatable the older I get.

It's because just like me, Spider-Man's life is also a complete mess that he has no control over. Insomniac gets that, gets that no matter what he tries to do, he always spreads himself too thin, and eventually something gives. That's just his charm, though, he always puts others ahead of himself, because he'd rather forget to pay the bill for his apartment and get thrown out than risk his friends, family, or any average person on the street he doesn't know getting hurt.

That's part of what makes the Symbiote Suit storyline compelling, because it asks the question, “What if Peter Parker was selfish?” Turns out, it isn't pretty when that great power doesn't have great responsibility holding it in check. I don't just mean literally in the sense of doing more property damage when saving the city, or beating up Kraven's thugs extra hard during fights.

This is the time to stop reading if you didn't heed my previous SPOILER warnings.

This is something I've gone back and forth on a lot in the couple months since I've played the game, and wondered how much of it is intentional or not. If I have any criticism to lay against Spider-Man 2, it's that despite ostensibly being about two Spider-Men, this is a story about Peter Parker and the Symbiote Suit. Miles is there too, he has a lot of screen time, certainly more than the first game (and considering how much longer this one is, possibly more literal hours than his solo game?), but at times he feels like he's there more out of obligation than feeling critical to the story.

He has his own B Plot to the Symbiote Suit's A Plot, and it's tied in to an extent, but it still feels tacked on. His primary motivation is he wants to find Martin Li, and...well he tells himself he doesn't want revenge, but does he believe that, or is he just saying that to convince his friends, and himself that he's better than that? Now, on paper this is well and good, and I do think it concludes well once Miles does eventually get to Li.

The only problem is...he spends the majority of the game just saying, “I gotta find Li,” and never makes any real progress on that front, until he suddenly is face to face with Li. And it's a shame, because the Insomniac incarnation of Miles has grown into my favorite over the years (I say as someone who doesn't actually read the comics), and I think Nadji Jeter's performance is as great as ever (just like the rest of the cast). Every moment with Miles and his friends and mother is great, those don't feel shoehorned in.

Though to be fair, and this is a bit more meaningful of a statement, but I feel like Insomniac's version of Peter grown into my favorite version of that character too. Unlike Miles, who didn't come into being until after Disney bought Marvel, I grew up with Peter Parker as Spider-Man. Even if my first Spider-Man was that 90s cartoon that doesn't hold up as well as I wish it did (it's not bad, just average). A lot of it is that Yuri Lowenthal, despite being in hundreds of different roles across video games and anime dubs, still manages to sound fresh, and put his all into the role.

Anyway, back to this game. While Miles is balancing his personal life with still being a relatively new Spider-Man, Peter's plate is fuller than ever. Juggling the loss of yet another job (due directly to his abandoning it to save the city), the impending foreclosure of the truly awful mortgage on Aunt May's house (and the fear of losing one of the last ties to her he has left), trying to support MJ while she's in the midst of her own existential crisis about her perceived failures in life, being a mentor to Miles (who's trying to apply for college, just putting off writing his application letter), and of course, being Spider-Man.

All this, everything feeling like it's about to spiral fully out of control, when suddenly Peter's old friend Harry returns out of the blue, not just here as a friend, but with the answers to most of Peter's problems. Come work with Harry, be a scientist, help make the world a better place. Get a huge paycheck, never have to worry about money again. And hey, let Miles take over as primary Spider-Man, he's ready, right?

Even before the Symbiote Suit, once Harry enters the picture, Peter starts ignoring Miles. Frequently Miles calls Peter, asking for some sort of advice, only to get hung up on because Harry is calling, and Peter will, “get right back to you,” despite never actually calling Miles back. And it hurts, because I'm sure we've all been on both sides of that. Both been the friend blown off because someone else that we perceive as that person caring more about is taking up more of their time, or blowing someone off not because we don't care, but because we want to catch back up with someone we haven't seen in years.

It only gets worse and worse as the Symbiote Suit brings out all the worst parts of Peter, making him quick to snap at the littlest thing, more and more violent, and angry. Selflessness only turns into selfishness as he starts hurting everyone around him, and he refuses to see it until it's all but too late. It's nothing new, just told with the great writing and acting I expect from Insomniac's Marvel games, so it's as great as ever. Honestly, this part of the story is so good, and so propulsive that at times it's almost too good, if that makes any sense?

So, this is an open world game, with plenty of side things to do. Both more generic things, like clearing out Kraven hunter hidey-holes, and more bespoke ones with side stories, both self contained, and some spread across a series of missions. Generally speaking, I'm the sort of person that likes to do a lot of side stuff before advancing the story in games, partly because in older games, it wasn't always clear if I would even have the chance to go back and do that stuff at all. Of course, these days this really isn't a concern for most games, because developers have gotten the message, and usually let people go back and mop everything up, even if it doesn't always make narrative sense to do so.

Spider-Man 2, though, especially in the back half, the story moves at such a fast pace, and I was so drawn into it, that at a point I basically stopped doing side stuff, because I needed to keep moving forward, and seeing what was going to happen next. I know I spent more time talking about the story than I intended to, but trust me, that's only scratching the surface.

I barely even mentioned Kraven (far more interesting and compelling villain than I ever thought he could be!), and haven't even gotten to all nineteen inches of Venom himself. I spent the bulk of the game trying to figure out who was going to become Venom when all was said and done, and well, all I will say is that my main guess was actually wrong! Not that who it is was surprised in the end, but just fun that I was misled, whether by my own doing, or the game's.

Anyway, I got (somewhat fittingly, sadly) distracted from the point I was trying to make about Miles. Peter spends the bulk of the game ignoring Miles, and I can't help but wonder if that feeling of Miles being secondary to the game as a whole is intentional to go along with that, or not. Is the Martin Li stuff just shoehorned in because they knew they had to give Miles something to do, especially after his solo game was so well received (I still think that game has the best overall story of the three, as much as I like all of them)? Or did they just do a really good job of making me feel how Miles felt?

I dunno! They certainly didn't skimp out on making him fun to play, because even with Peter's fancy new Symbiote Powers, Miles is still the one I like playing more. Yes, the invisibility during stealth is handy (arguably too strong), but Miles' electric sparking Venom powers (apparently Venom as electricity pre-dates Venom the Symbiote man!) are still more fun to use. Otherwise the two play identically, even if they have some different animations while swinging and fighting.

I've probably already spent too much time writing about a game that could honestly be summed up as, “They made a third one of these, and it's still great.” I could spend more time writing about how the load times somehow feel even faster than ever (also some real good use of that Ratchet & Clank tech in that one Miles mission), I could write about how some side missions have different dialog depending on which Spider-Man is used. I could write about that one side mission involving pigeons, a certain character from the first game, and how it made me tear up a little bit. I could write about how the combat on the whole is better than ever, the set pieces bigger and better than ever, or even the weird nonsense in this game that only the sickest of sickos would include in a multi-hundred million dollar production. They reference BIG WHEEL, for crying out loud! And that's not even the obscurest, weirdest thing they include!

Really though, it all comes back to how this started. I love Spider-Man, and over the last handful of years, I've grown to love Spider-Man too. Listen, if the game can refer to both of them interchangeably like that, I can too! I think this game is fantastic, and I think it still would be even if I hadn't been a Spider-Fan since I was a kid. Honestly, if it wasn't for a certain other game, this would have easily been my game of the year this year. For a while I considered trying to gin up some extra special thing I could give that other game so I could technically say Spider-Man 2 was my game of the year, but at the end of the day, the only problem here is that there's too many good games, and that's about as good a problem as anyone can ask for.

I couldn't be more excited for what is in store for this series, even as bummed as I am about the employees at Insomniac affected by the leaks, specifically about their personal information. Like, the games industry is generally too secretive for its own good, so whatever about the games leaking. But only an awful person would intentionally leak personal information about the people working on the games. That sucks, and I can only hope that the people affected aren't affected too badly.

Marvel's Spider-Man 2 also wins:

• Most propulsive story of the year.
• “Grappling hooks” of the year.
• Swinging of the year.
• Most realistic swinging physics of the year (I can't believe I forgot to write about how you can dial down the swinging assist, and turn on fall damage so it's possible to accidentally die by swinging poorly, which I did at least once!).
• Intro of the year.
• Dynamic Duo of the year.
• Banter of the year.
• Quips of the year.
• Funniest game of the year.
• Traversal of the year.
• Superheroes who least have their lives together of the year.
• College application of the year.
• Financially troubled character(s) of the year.
• Unkempt house of the year.
• Bike riding of the year.
• Rick Roll of the year.
• Setpieces of the year.
• Sand of the year.
• Haptics and trigger use of the year.
• Photo mode of the year.
• Traced rays of the year (at least on consoles).
• Motion controls of the year (I don't even remember what these are, but I have it written down in my notes, haha).
• Pedestrian interactions of the year.
• Heroic soundtrack of the year.
• End credits rap of the year.
• Mecha-Bees of the year.
• Bee simulator of the year.
• Fish feeding of the year.
• Best use of REDACTED.
• Most heartfelt game of the year.
• Amusement park of the year.
• BIG WHEEL of the year.
• Only game brave enough to reference Dazzler of the year.
• High res photos of real life animals of the year.
• Duo takedowns of the year (again I cannot believe I forgot to mention that you can just run into the other Spider-Man, and other crime fighters in the city when getting into fights).
• 0451 of the year.
• “The Quiet Man” sequence of the year.
• Best petting a cat that's holding a Spider-Man toy.
• Best petting a tiger of the year.
• Symbiote of the year.
• Todd of the year (I'm glad that I remembered this meant Tony Todd, because at first looking at my notes I thought I meant McFarlane, the co-creator of Venom (as opposed to Tony who did the excellent voice)).
• Pettable robot dog of the year.
• Fastest character switching/fast travel of the year.

Old Game of the Year #1: Unsighted.

Considering I already wrote a full blog on this game, I'll try to keep this one relatively short.

When I think about Unsighted now, there's a few different things that stick out in my mind. Some of them are just related to the core game play, which was really great. I still think that so far as games (at least partly) inspired by the old style of overhead Zelda games go, this is easily the best one I've played. Largely that's because Unsighted isn't afraid to do something different, as opposed to just trying to ape Zelda.

But really, beyond the “play” part of game play, it's still the world, the characters, and that depressingly oppressive atmosphere that stuck with me. That core part of the design that puts everything, and everyone on a timer, even just thinking about it now makes my stomach churn. It's terrible, it's frightening, it's horrible; I wish I had been brave enough to play the whole game with it on.

And believe me, I still remember how I felt upon learning that the reason for the timers was because the devs loved Pikmin when they were kids, and not because it was just a big metaphor for the modern queer experience of watching the world, and their friends slowly fade away as everything gets worse and worse and worse. It can still be both!

Again, go read that full blog for longer thoughts, just know that of all the non-2023 games I played (for the first time) in 2023, this is the one that stuck with me the most. I mean, maybe if I had played Disco Elysium earlier in the year, that might have been the top old game, but that one is recent enough in mind that I felt it was better to give the Number 1 to Unsighted. As meaningless as these awards are (I'm sure the devs will never even know), it also feels good to award a game made by a duo of trans women. I don't play or write about enough games made by tiny teams, or enough that are explicitly and proudly queer, and Unsighted is both.

1. 2023 Moosies Video Game of the Year: The Legend of Zelda: Tears of the Kingdom.

I don't even know what more I can say about this game at this point. What else can I say about the game I put over two hundred hours into, over the course of two months? What more can I say about a game that I then proceeded to spend another month writing about? A game that even while playing it, I had the realization that this wasn't just a special game, this was becoming my new favorite game?

I guess I can say that my feelings haven't changed. I can say that I still get chills when I listen to specific songs from it. I still think about how it feels to soar between the skylands, far above Hyrule's surface. That feeling of endless freedom, at least so long as the batteries powering the rickety cobbled together nonsense I'm flying hold out, haha. Sky stretching out forever, and the vast lands down below. I still think about how seamlessly Link can dive down to the ground, and even below it to the pitch black Depths beneath the surface.

This is perhaps the most ridiculous, out there, and full of myself thought I've ever had about a game, but... I feel like playing Tears of the Kingdom is the closest to a genuinely religious moment I've ever experienced. What does that even mean?? I don't know! But playing this game affected me...spiritually? It sounds more and more ridiculous the more I try to understand it myself, but it didn't just evoke the normal feelings and emotions that I get from video games, or any piece of fiction.

I guess what I'm trying to get at is that even as someone who has written so much, so many times about video games over the years, I'm at a loss for the words to get across what this game really, truly means to me. It isn't perfect by any stretch, but it is the closest to the metaphorical, metaphysical “ideal” of whatever the “perfect video game” would be, at least that I've ever played. It is the perfect mix of player expression through open ended mechanics, and of more focused level design. It is the mountaintop, that which games have been striving to achieve for decades, somehow made manifest and real, and somehow it works.

I should just stop, this is turning into nonsense, haha. Go back and read my previous...four blogs on Tears of the Kingdom if you want more concrete thoughts on mechanics, or stories about specific adventures I had playing it. I've said what I can without it just turning into a manifesto on what the “Platonic Ideal” of a Video Game is, and I'm sorry that I'm ending this year's Moosies on such a weird note.

Just know that this is only so weird because I already wrote out every normal word I had about the game months ago. This is what happens when a game affects me so strongly it works its way through the normal, outer layers of my brain, and into the weirder, deeper parts. If there is a strongest possible praise I can give a game, it's that I love it so deeply and dearly that I exhausted every possible word I could write about it, and yet I still kept writing. Feeling compelled to write impossible words about it.

Tears of the Kingdom is not only my Game of the Year 2023, it is my favorite game that I've ever played. And I genuinely also think the greatest game ever made. I can only hope to one day again find another game that makes me feel this way.

Oh, and as a few more normal words, I am disappointed that there's no DLC coming, and that Aonuma made it pretty clear that whatever is next for Zelda as a franchise is another new incarnation of the world (ie, rebooting again), rather than a continuation of this one and these characters. I don't think they could have pulled off a third game set in this Hyrule, but I still think my idea of Link, Zelda, and friends sailing off across the sea to whatever lies beyond would have been cool. But alas, instead we'll get a new version of Hyrule, and Link will have to save the princess once again.

I'll play it.

We'll see if it makes me feel this way again.

The Legend of Zelda: Tears of the Kingdom also wins:

• Hideo Kojima presents the Liquid Ocelot Award for best transplanted possessed arm of the year.
• Late Title Card of the Year.
• Ultrahand.
• Crafting/fusing/building of the year.
• Best hair of the year: Link's flowing mane.
• Best music of the year.
• Best fashion of the year
• Most “enviable gender” of the year/best game to live gender non-conforming vicariously (my gender is nonbinary but I wish it was androgynous twink with a cool messed up arm and long flowing hair who wears a skirt (this is something I wish Nintendo would embrace but I know they never will)).
• Skylands of the year.
• Robot friends of the year.
• Adventuring of the year.
• Cooking of the year.
• Tutorial Island of the year.
• Gliding of the year.
• Critters of the year.
• Best hijinks.
• Best game to try something really dumb and have it either work perfectly or fail hilariously.
• Ramp building of the year.
• Underworld of the year.
• Auto-build of the year.
• Best game to watch clips of online.
• Wile E. Coyote Simulator of the year.
• Cutest (and sadly least pettable) dogs.
• Gloomiest game of the year.
• Ambient sounds of the year.
• JoJo's game of the year.
• Best boss fights.
• Three headed dragons of the year: Gleeoks.
• Cubic constructs of the year: Flux Constructs.
• Moose of the year.
• Best game in which to watch different enemy types fight each other.
• Super Mario Sunshine/Splatoon of the year.
• Rudest house theft of the year (I'm STILL mad that Zelda stole Link's house!).
• Coziest custom house of the year.
• Jenga of the year.
• Sword delivery method of the year: REDACTED.
• Mech game of the year.
• Rideable Naruto-running robot buddy of the year: Mineru.
• Final boss of the year.

Okay, closing words, I swear I'll be quick. This was finally the year when the Moosies went too far, when I went too far, and this thing is too bigh for its own good. It turns out that most of the time I didn't write about a game on its own because I thought I didn't have anything to say about it, I was wrong, because clearly I did!

I'm going to make an honest, genuine effort to write more regularly IF ONLY to get The Moosies back under control next time. We'll see if I stick to it!

As always, thank you if you read any of either parts of the Moosies this year, and thank you if you read anything else I've written. Also sorry if you read all of it, haha.

As a pre-preamble, as someone who is much more of a writer than an editor, I let this year's Moosies get completely out of control, and it grew so long that I had to split it into two parts. Part 1 is games ten through six on the top ten, along with the “in between things” because I cannot control myself. Part 2 should be soon, and cover the rest. Don't worry, Part 2 is even longer than Part 1, haha.

Even split in twain these aren't short, so I don't begrudge anyone who just skims through it, or skips certain segments. Part 1 should be pretty spoiler free, but Part 2 gets a little iffy in spots, but I'll be clearer about that there. Until then, enjoy!

Every year I write one of these, and every year I start it basically the same way. I go on about how it was kind of a bad year on the whole, aside from video games, because even on off years, there's always some pretty good video games out there. And that's what these are about, video games.

Except this year, I can't even bring myself to say “it was a bad year except for the video games,” because even though the videos games were excellent, it was still a terrible year for video games as an industry. Thousands of people who worked on video games lost their jobs this year. It sucks, there's no other way to put it, it just sucks. There's no way to sugarcoat it, no way to reframe or spin it to make it feel any better. Not that I really have anything other than this to say about it, but it just...is such a bummer.

So as much as I am about to lavish praise unto quite a few games in the many pages of text to come, just know this is lurking in the back of my head too.

Anyway, for better or worse, it really was a year packed with fantastic games, frankly too many for anyone to realistically play them all. Either they wouldn't have the time to play them all, or (more accurate for me) the money to buy them all. There's one really obvious game in particular, that I know would have been on my top ten if I played it. A game that has received wide praise, and seems like a masterclass in what it set out to do.

I am of course, talking about Hi-Fi Rush. The mix of stylish melee action with rhythm game timing (to a rock soundtrack), is just one hundred percent up my alley. Never mind the cool art style! It's certainly top of my list of games I'd play if I ever get a modern Xbox.

Naturally, that's not the only game I missed, there's another high on my list to get to too. A modern take on an old, well-worn franchise, a follow-up from a different studio to a classic game that we aren't going to see the original studio tackle again.

No other game that could be, than Lies of P. Bloodborne is an all time favorite of mine, truly a modern classic, and I don't think From is doing an official sequel...ever, at this point. Lies of P seems like the closest we'll get, at least at this budget and level of production, and it sounds like it's truly excellent! Hope to play it some day soon-ish!

Oh, and I guess Baldur's Gate III, I should probably play that too, at some point. I'm waiting for them to actually finish it. I know they say it left early access months ago, but when they're still patching in significant story stuff, like, that game is not done. When it's truly done (and received a healthy price drop, haha), then I'll give it a shot.

10. Eco-Terrorism Simulator of the Year: Tchia.

I don't play (or for that matter, write about) enough games like Tchia. Games that are made by (as far as I know) relatively small teams, but feel ambitious. Tchia feels like it was made by people who wanted to make their own Breath of the Wild, just at a scale that while obviously much smaller than that, still feels really big. And they pulled it off, it's a lot of fun to explore the various islands, whether on foot, raft, or by possessing animal critters.

It's also, given the primary award won here, a game about fighting off corporate/colonial invaders as a character indigenous to the islands. And that stuff's fun too! For as weirdly dark as this game gets (there's this ancient evil demon (god?) that eats children (don't worry though, the children don't actually die)), it's fun to do stuff like possess oil lamps, and fling them into the piles of fabric that enemies spawn out of.

I'm always a fan of when things can go for big tonal shifts, and pull them off, and I feel like Tchia manages it pretty well. It's also got a very cute queer relationship at its core, and that was something I was not expecting in the slightest. Partly because Tchia herself is a kid, and games don't really tend to have “kids who get crushes on each other.” I'd imagine it's even rarer when it's gay. But mainly because I thought this game was just about Mario Odyssey-ing into animals and fighting off colonizers.

That's Tchia in a nutshell. It's cute, ambitious, and fun to explore its world. And again, weirdly dark in spots! It's not super long either, I think it only took me twelve or fifteen hours to do everything I wanted to do (which involved finding most if not all of the collectibles), so give it a shot!

Tchia also wins:

• Ukelele of the year.
• Cutest game of the year.
• Animal petting of the year.
• Heterochromia of the year.
• Most inventory friendly/carryable animals of the year.
• High fiving of the year.
• Possession of the year (as in possessing other entities).
• Most interestingly realistic photography system of the year.

Best Live Service Game Taken from us Too Soon: Knockout City.

There are a lot of problems with video games as a whole, and outside of labor related issues (though I can only assume these are often linked together), I think the frequency with which games just disappear is among the worst ones. Now, to be fair to Knockout City, this is the rare instance where the devs released a free private match only version of the game. So it isn't entirely gone, but only remains for those who play on PC (and I have no clue what portion of the player base that was), and are willing to put in the work to figure out times to play with other people by grouping up manually.

For me, someone who played on PS5, Knockout City is effectively dead and gone. And while I think it's a shame when just about any game is delisted, I think it's especially bad in cases like this where it was a really fun game! By focusing so much on having a lock-on, it moved the “skill” away from aiming, and allowed for a greater focus on movement, and trying to outwit opponents by doing things like faking throws. Yes, plenty of games have a large emphasis on both aiming and movement (Titanfall 2), but I feel like Knockout City was trying to appeal to a broader, and possibly younger audience. It was also refreshing to have a game structured so much like a multiplayer shooter, but have there be zero guns in sight.

After it got harder and harder to actually find matches in Titanfall 2 (at least on console, I've heard PC had a resurgence this year), and after I lost all interest in playing Crucible in Destiny 2, for a while there Knockout City was the only versus “shooter” I liked playing. Of course I've been afflicted with the curse of Fortnite over the last year, and now that's the only one I have left. And that's its own sort of nonsensical fun (I typically prefer the Team Rumble (just team deathmatch (with respawning)) over the die and you're out Battle Royale), but it doesn't scratch that itch Knockout City did. Even if the increasingly silly crossovers scratch a different itch (I can play as Harley Quinn AND John Wick, and nerfed rear or not, Snake is coming soon!).

At least, so far as I know, the team that made Knockout City is still together, and working on whatever their next project is. The last I saw they hadn't ruled out the possibility of a Knockout City 2. I certainly would be excited if they made that, I just hope they plan ahead, and make a game that won't disappear. I'd also like if all my unlocks carried over to the sequel, but I'd settle for just being able to play it again.

9. Most Strategically Dismembered Remake of the Year: Dead Space.

2023 was a really fascinating year for remakes in video games. Specifically for remakes of what I would classify as “action horror” games. That's a term I feel like only I use, and I only use it because these particular games have way too much of a focus on action and combat to feel like traditional “survival horror.” Games where when enemies show up (which they do frequently), the expected, and often only option is to just defeat them, and do so without having to worry about managing ammo, or other resources.

The original Dead Space, and a certain other game that will get its time later on, are one hundred percent that. In a lot of people's minds, particularly after 2 doubled down on being a linear action game, Dead Space 1 was a proper, scary, moody survival horror game. When, in reality, it was also always a (mostly) linear action game, just one with a spooky atmosphere.

But, and this is where I think it gets interesting, when making the remake, the team at EA Motive made the right move, and decided to remake the game people remembered, rather than the game that actually was. That means that while it still has a high frequency of enemy encounters, the quantities of ammo and healing items doled out are much lower, which makes the game harder, but I think more fun. I don't remember ever having any problems with ammo, or healing items in the original game, but the remake is balanced to make that stuff always at least a bit of a concern, even on the default difficulty.

In retrospect, I kinda wish I had played on hard, because I bet it only pushes even further in that direction. Still, I had a ton of fun on normal, and crucially, I think balancing the game this way makes it a better, more interesting game than the original. That's true of almost every change or addition to the remake, they're all beneficial. Redesigning the ship to be a single, contiguous whole helps the immersion, and allows for easier ways to return to old areas than the original. In that same vein, while changing the zero gravity to function like it did in 2 and 3 does lose the sense of disorientation from the original, it's significantly more playable and enjoyable than the unwieldy mess of jumping from surface to surface.

Isaac talking, and actually being a character with motivations and agency just makes it a better story. The remake lets him feel like a proper engineer who knows what he's doing, as opposed to just silently doing whatever he's told. And it's cool that they got Gunner Wright back from 2 and 3, rather than just unceremoniously recasting him. I'm not sure how much of the rest of the cast is the same or not, though.

Another smart change is that new weapons are scattered throughout the ship, meaning that Isaac just has them when they're found, as opposed to having to spend resources to craft them. That, along with the Trophy for finishing the whole game with just the Plasma Cutter meant I played the entire original game with only the single weapon. Which was still fun, but lacking in variety. The remake has that Trophy too, but it also has individual Trophies for getting X number of kills with each weapon (for all I remember the original may have too), so with the weapons not requiring crafting, I actually used them this time. They're pretty good, for the most part!

My only issue with the remake, is one of the new “spooky elements” added. I'm not sure how much of it is supposed to be the Marker affecting Isaac, or how much is his own mental illness, but the “spooky voices” that chime in frequently are silly at best, and annoying at worst. I say this as someone who would never, ever joke about suicide, but I could not help but shake my head and laugh when one of the voices just said the words, “suicidal ideation.” I'm not joking, I heard the spooky voices say those exact words, multiple times throughout the game. Again, I would never joke about suicide, and I'm sure that actual suicidal ideation (a term that I don't love because it's a bit too clinical for me) takes countless different forms... But I sincerely doubt that a single human being has ever had it come in the form of a spooky voice in their head just saying “suicidal ideation.”

That misstep aside, I think the Dead Space remake is about as close to perfect a remake of that game that I can imagine. It retains the best parts of the original, and changes everything that needed to be changed. Crucially, Motive integrated all these changes in so well that without looking back at the original game as a comparison, they feel like they were always like that. That in itself is a special feat, and it makes me so excited to see that team tackle remaking Dead Space 2. Of course, part of me would rather see them make a wholly original game, but maybe that's what we'll get instead of a Dead Space 3 remake. Only time will tell.

Dead Space also wins:

• Worst posture of the year.
• Map zooming noises of the year.
• Immersive UI of the year.
• Zero gravity of the year.
• 3D audio of the year.
• Lighting and shadows of the year.
• Stomping of the year.
• Toggleable jungle ambiance of the year.
• Zero G Basketball of the year.
• Muffled zero air noises of the year.

Cutest Bunnies and Cutest “Game” of the Year: Usagi Shima.

I am the first to admit my own biases when it comes to video games. I almost exclusively play console games, and among those, mostly larger budget ones. Even the indie games I play tend to be the larger ones, whether in terms of the teams that build them, or the scope of the games themselves. Worse, I tend to put off actually buying those smaller games until they're either on a steep discount, or outright “free” on a subscription service, which is one reason why my end of year top tens are always so big budget heavy. For the life of me, I can't explain why it's often easier for me to justify buying one single, bigh full price game than it is to justify buying multiple smaller games for the same amount of money.

Which is all to preface my writing about a phone game made by a single person, Usagi Shima. Even though I don't think it even meets my own personal definition of what a “video game” is, but at a point, who cares?

The bunnies are cute! Look at them! Sometimes what I need is to look at something good on my phone, instead of the usual bad things I see on my phone. Adorable cartoon bunnies playing on a cute little island, with relaxing music wafting over it is exactly what I need, and that's what Usagi Shima is. Even though I've more or less run out of things to do in it, I've covered the island with doodads and decorations, I've amassed a fortune of carrots (normal and gold), I've befriended every bnuy, achieved every achievement, I still keep checking in on it every day. Because seeing those cute little buns makes me feel better.

Luckily, since it isn't even an actual “pet simulator” or anything like that, I don't need to worry if I stop playing that the bunnies might starve or something. They'll be there when I need them, and they can take care of themselves when I don't.

Plus, like I said, it was made by a literal single person, and that is a true achievement in itself. It's free to download, though honestly if you spend any real amount of time with it, I'd say get the carrot doubler just to support the dev. That's what I did!

Anyway, it's cute. I love bunnies.

8. Cooperative Game of the Year: Remnant II.

When it released a handful of years ago, the original Remnant was a curious little game. A mishmash of all sorts of concepts, pulling game design from a variety of sources, and settings/other accoutrement from a variety of all sorts of media. Procedurally generated worlds, but static loot. Starting in a post apocalyptic Earth, it goes into a space faring adventure spanning from a Stargate-esque “Space Egypt” to swamps and forests in almost fantasy like worlds.

It was a surprisingly good game, but one that did not stick with me after I finished it. The quintessential, “they could really knock it out of the park with a followup if they focus on the right things” game. And, boy do I have good news, because they did just that! Remnant From the Ashes was a surprisingly good game, while Remnant II is a genuinely great one. In every way that I can think of, II improves on the first game, and it does so pretty obviously right from the start. A technical leap is expected when there's a jump from one generation to another, but while the first game looked okay at the time, II looks really great. Both technically, and artistically. The framerate suffers at times (especially in co-op, which is a bummer), but I'd say it doesn't suffer nearly as bad as it did in the previous game.

I think the story and characters are better, or at least easier to follow in II too. It's far from the deepest stuff ever told, but it's all enjoyable. And each of the three main worlds has different stories that play out depending on what the procedural generation lands on. For that matter, even the order these worlds come in can change from one playthrough to the next! Though, I feel like I should add that nothing in II really has the same feeling as the “what is going on here” revelation at the end of the first world (Earth) in the first game, though that would be kinda hard to follow up. Not that I don't have questions after finishing II, but I won't spoil anything here.

Perhaps most improved is the core game play, though. The first game was fun, but this one just feels so much deeper, and all in ways that make it a better experience. The addition of character classes (two can be equipped at once!) allows for a level of character building that I certainly don't remember from the first game. They all have a main active ability (or rather, multiple versions that can be swapped around), and passives that make them all feel fairly unique, and doubly so when another is equipped as a subclass. My personal favorite is still the one I started with, Handler. I just love dogs, and having a doggy friend with me was a lot of fun. It was nice to go pet the dog after a good fight.

And that dog ended up being indispensable, as despite this being “Cooperative” game of the year, I actually spent most of my time playing it alone. Blame it on technical issues with the game (a co-op related bug that was wiping saves, and latency for non-host players) that I certainly hope have been fixed by now, and difficulties coordinating times to play with a friend who is very busy. Anyway, having a dog to revive me (there's a cooldown to keep it balanced), give me passive healing, and distract some of the enemies was absolutely vital to my getting through the bulk of this game solo. I had Medic as my subclass, which also helped keep me alive (particularly late game when the dog (at the time, I think this has been adjusted) didn't scale, so wasn't as useful with enemies).

Other classes range from simple things like bonus damage, to deploying a turret, to even summoning alien critters to help fight. Both of those, if I recall, are secret classes, of which this game has many. I did not come close to unlocking all of them, or even leveling up all of the regular ones. Anyway, the point is that there's a ton of character customization (I haven't even mentioned the rings, or any of the other items) that can really make any particular build feel kinda unique. That's not even getting into the weapons themselves, which can either be modded, or come with unique mods built in that have special abilities.

There's so much packed into this game that it's literally impossible to find it all in one playthrough, which might sound frustrating, but I think it actually a smart design choice. Rather than having everything in every world be there in every playthrough, and potentially creating worlds that might feel like they drag on a little bit too much, it's doled out in smaller pieces. I think the intent being to play through the game in co-op multiple times, just swapping from player to player as the “party leader,” and presumably after doing this with all three players, they'd have seen just about everything.

There's also a way to create individual worlds, for those seeking a specific thing, and not wanting to go through a full campaign again. Or just wanting to see a different flavor of each world in a slightly smaller version.

Now, this next bit I say as someone who has played a lot of Destiny 2 over the years, but I greatly appreciate that none of the loot in this game has any sort of random elements to it. Weapons and armor always have the same stats. Specific rings and other items are always the same, so there's no need to perpetually run the same content again and again in the hope of getting exactly the right roll on something. It's refreshing after so much Destiny 2 to be able to get loot and know that it's just the thing, and not, “well let me check to see if it's good first.”

Perhaps one of the most telling things about how good Remnant II is, is that it manages to feel unique while also being so heavily “inspired” by other things that at times it borders on litigious. One of the areas in the game is just Yharnam from Bloodborne. One of the bosses is just a Sentinel from The Matrix. Many things in this game feel aesthetically like they're lifted almost directly from other games, movies, etc. But by having such a wide variety of this stuff, and by doing it all so well, it never comes across like it's ripping things off. It comes off as earnest, and it makes that stuff funny, rather than cheap.

Plus, the game part feels unique, even as it's cribbing aesthetically. Yes, that one area may look like Yharnam, but Bloodborne isn't a third person shooter. It's also a lot more cumbersome to actually get co-op friends into a game in Bloodborne, whereas Remnant II is a normal game where that stuff is straightforward, so ultimately it's a very different feeling experience.

That's kind of Remnant II in a nutshell. A mishmash of this and that, taking the best bits from other things, and putting them together to make something greater as a whole than the individual parts. Except usually when people say that, they mean it because the individual parts are lacking, whereas I think all these parts are good on their own. So it comes together as a pretty great game!

Remnant II also wins:

• Dog companion of the year.
• Most endearingly “inspired by” game of the year.
• Old coots of the year: Reggie and Mudtooth.
• Stew of the year.
• Procedural generation of the year.
• Coolest weaponry of the year.
• Souls game of the year.
• Emote of the year: Praise the Gun.

Destiny 2 Yearly Check in.

What do I even say about Destiny 2 after the last year? Do I start with all the recent layoffs at Bungie, and reports that the overall mood at the studio is pretty dire? The Final Shape feeling like it's their final chance to get things back on track, and keep people playing the game? What about how disappointing Lightfall was? Or basically all of the storytelling this year being not very good or interesting? Or all the baffling balance changes that at a point just go in one ear and out the other when my friend tells me about them? All they really do is just elicit an, “I don't understand Bungie at all,” then I go back to playing the game.

That's the thing though, right? I just wrote out a paragraph of all this bad sounding stuff and yet...I'm still playing it. Sure, Lightfall's story was nonsensical at best, and outright bad at worst, but the new Strand subclasses are good. Or, at least I like the Warlock one, as I haven't wanted to suffer through Lightfall's final boss again to unlock Strand on my Hunter. Of course, I'm writing this literally the day after a friend was telling me how “bad” Strand Warlock is now after recent balance changes when like...I dunno, it still seems good to me? So who knows.

I just play Destiny 2 for fun, and do what I do based on vibes. Most of the story has been mediocre this year, but the seasonal modes have been mostly pretty good. Conversely, I haven't felt especially compelled to grind any of them for specific loot, so maybe I haven't played any of them enough to get sick of them.

I guess if I had to settle on a word to describe the current state of Destiny 2, it'd be confused. Everything around it feels like this awkward limbo before The Final Shape. Just killing time, and a lot of time, what with that expansion getting delayed months. The story is just meandering around aimlessly, slowly working its way toward building to The Final Shape, but suffering from the nature of the plot beats needing to be stretched out over months in a season.

So again, I dunno. It's hard to feel particularly enthused about Destiny 2 at the moment, and yet... I guess I'm somehow still hopeful that the next expansion will (Final) shape up and give a fitting end to this “story arc?” Or will it be the last hurrah before Destiny 2 fades away into the darkness?

As a last thing, I just want to give one more rest in peace to Lance Reddick. It's been months now since his passing, and obviously he had a much larger career than just his role as Zavala, but I know I'm not alone as that being the role of his, for me, at least. All these years, through all its ups and downs, like how Zavala was a pillar in universe to keep the Guardians together, so was Lance. Both with his performance in game, but also outside it with the community. He played the game like the rest of us, and always seemed more than happy to post videos of him saying goofy stuff people wanted to hear Zavala say, like asking Guardians to go get some groceries, haha.

Again, rest in peace, Lance. We miss you. <3

7. High-Flying Mecha-Action Game of the Year: Armored Core VI: Fires of Rubicon.

For better or worse, this is the first Armored Core game I've played, which means that like a lot of people, I came at it from the perspective of being a Souls fan. So, I could write about expectations, and how I think it's refreshing to see From tackle something substantially different from the bulk of their work over the last decade plus, but... Instead what if I just wrote about Armored Core VI on its own terms?

Which is to say, it's rad. Don't get me wrong, there's “war is bad” mixed in with the “wow cool robots” in this game, but I wouldn't have had as much fun as I did during my three playthroughs if the robots weren't cool. At its (Armored) core, though, this is a game about amassing an arsenal of parts and weapons to find the best ways to outfit a mech to deal with increasingly demanding missions. All while slowly uncovering the pieces of what exactly is happening on planet Rubicon, over the course of three playthroughs to eventually get...if not the whole picture, then enough of it.

One thing that struck me about the structure of AC VI is that, despite the fact that I've never played one of these games before, parts of it felt weirdly nostalgic. Specifically because it's a mission based game about piloting big vehicles. Back when I was a kid (90s and early 00s), games like this were a dime a dozen (including the old ACs!). In those days, a game could just be going around in a helicopter doing generic missions about blowing stuff up. One of the flagship launch titles on a new console could just be a game with like ten spaceship missions set in the universe of Star Wars (and I still love Rogue Squadron II to this day). They didn't need big open worlds, they didn't need RPG skill trees, they didn't need all this other stuff that just about every big game has these days.

So AC VI being a game about piloting big robots, where everything is mission based, and most of the missions are pretty short, it was not only refreshing, but made me think a lot about this style of game that's pretty much fallen out of favor these days. Not entirely gone, I'm pretty sure Ace Combat (the other AC Bandai Namco franchise) is still this too, but I can't think of anything else off the top of my head. Not in the big budget space, at least.

None of this is to say there isn't depth to AC VI, because there one hundred percent is. There are tons of different parts to build the mechs, and dozens and dozens of different weapons to equip on them. They're not all there just for show either, whether just in stats, or the fundamental feel of the mech, all the body parts have some sort of meaningful impact. My preferred style ended up being very quick and agile, the emphasis on dodging attacks, but while carrying something bigh to lay on the damage when the opening arose. It wasn't always ideal, especially toward the end of my third playthrough I had to focus more on just carrying light weapons to whittle down the bosses because the opportunities to demolish them with the heaviest grenade launcher my speedy mech could carry were few, and far between. I did, however, never give up on taking a melee weapon with me, even if the style I took to (Moonlight Greatsword) has a ranged aspect to it.

But for more defense focused missions (of which there are not many), I tended to lean more toward making a slow hulk of a thing loaded up with the biggest guns and missile launchers I could afford. A four legged monstrosity of armor and gun, basically the exact opposite on the spectrum from my speedy build. These are just two examples, but there really are countless different ways to build out mechs, and thankfully the game has slots to save hundreds of different loadouts, which is the sort of quality of life feature that should be expected, but sometimes you just don't know.

Of course, all the customization in the world would be pointless if the feel wasn't good, and same for the missions. The feel is going to vary wildly depending on the build, but the parts are there to let anyone fine tune their mech to exactly what they want. Even if it might take a long while to unlock every last thing. For the missions themselves...perhaps my one criticism with the game is that the difficulty feels really inconsistent.

Some of the bosses are brutally difficult. And I say this playing the game after some of them were apparently patched to be easier (though the ones in question I did not have a tough time with). The final boss of the third ending in particular, that one crossed the line from fun challenge to frustrating for me, which was a bummer way to end my time with the game. Everything else though, stayed on the fun challenge side. Despite one other boss being a little tedious because of an energy shield that more or less requires a specific weapon type to effectively wear down, and I wasn't well equipped to deal with. There's an option to change loadouts after dying and restarting from a checkpoint, but it doesn't allow for going to the shop to buy new stuff, and at the time I was too stubborn to replay the whole mission to get back to that boss after buying more of the weapon type in question.

The missions themselves though...tend to be pretty easy. At times too easy, which means the game often feels like it's swinging between a cakewalk as you trample over weak little MT mechs, but then need to completely change gears and suddenly it feels like get through by the skin of your teeth Souls game when an enemy AC appears as a boss fight. Perhaps that's an intentional design choice to reinforce how powerful ACs are? I am glad the bosses are tough, they're some of the most fun parts of the game, and I'd much rather this than the whole game be too easy. I just wish more of the missions were a bit more challenging.

I'd also say that the bulk of the game doesn't really require that much time spent customizing the AC, which can be seen as either a good or a bad thing. I didn't really want to go into this game and spend “more time in the garage than missions” like the obnoxious people who are obsessed with the older games tend to say (I don't care if that's literally true or not, it's annoying because the only thing they ever accomplished is scaring people off from trying this series). But it is an (Armored) core part of the game, and not having to really explore its intricacies is a bit of a shame.

I haven't really said anything about the story thus far, not because it's bad, but more because it's pretty straightforward. Some high concept sci-fi stuff in there (like a prized energy source that's actually a collective of intelligent life forms), but for the most part it's a story about rival corporations battling each other, and C4-621 is just a generic mercenary caught in the middle of it. There's memorable characters, for sure (Rusty!), but it's always pretty easy to tell when anyone is up to something, or has an ulterior motive. Again, it's not bad, I thought it was entertaining enough that I wanted to see all three endings. It can be surprisingly funny at times too, especially early on. Just, pretty straightforward.

At least until that third ending, then it suddenly gets weird.

I will also say, it's not just the ending that changes, I was really surprised with how much changes and is added from first playthrough, to new game plus, and even new game plus plus. Entirely new missions, and new events and choices that pop up during some older ones, it's a really interesting way to tackle this stuff. Some of them way harder than anything at the beginning of a new game, so I can see why they didn't just want to include all of it from the get go. Absolutely worth the time to experience it all.

Anyway, I shan't spoil anything, because I think AC VI is pretty great, and I'm excited that From now has a second type of game that they're making again. I love the Souls games, but I couldn't be happier that they've found success is both trying something “new,” while also resurrecting the franchise they were known for before Souls. Here's hoping for AC VII!

Armored Core VI: Fires of Rubicon also wins:

• Most fonts used in the title.
• Old fashioned mission based game of the year.
• Mecha customization of the year.
• Goofy mid mission dialog of the year.
• Mecha designs of the year.
• Biggest mechs of the year.
• Playing all sides of the year.
• Handlers of the year.
• Robo kicks of the year.
• Big glowy explosion effects of the year.
• Worm of the year.
• Wingman of the year: V.IV Rusty.
• Coral of the year.
• Raven of the year.
• Rail cannon of the year.
• Moonlight blade of the year.
• Duel on top of a ship falling out of orbit of the year.
• New Game Plus of the year.

Historical Document of the Year: Like a Dragon: Ishin!

Like a Dragon (formerly Yakuza) is one of those series that I, on the one hand, deeply love, but also think can vary wildly in terms of quality. The best ones are fantastic, though even those can often be frustrating with some queer-phobic sequences (they have at least restrained themselves in more recent titles, even if those also don't have the outwardly queer-positive stuff that was in 2). The worst ones though, can be kinda bad, and there's a few that are decidedly good...but not great.

I feel like Ishin is in that camp. It's good! I enjoyed it. It was almost on my top ten list, but then...I bought another game that may or may not be in this franchise, one that I like quite a bit more, and may appear in this top ten soon.

As for Ishin, I think it is the sort of thing that for the main story, how much each person will get out of it varies on how much they know, and are interested in the historical period represented. I knew, a little bit about it, but I'd be lying if I didn't say that what I knew was dwarfed by what I “learned” from the game. Even as I am 100% sure this game is not remotely historically accurate.

It's also a remake from a time that, outside of one outlier (Yakuza 0, still my favorite), was pretty middling for the series. The zombie spin-off (which I never played), 5, this, Kiwami 1, and 6 are all...not great. If my timeline is correct, the order of release in Japan was zombie game, 5, Ishin, 0, then Kiwami 1, and finally 6. 0 is the standout there, and the rest range from good but not great (Ishin and 5), to okay (Kiwami), to outright bad (6 and probably the zombie game?). That was a bit of a ramble, but the point is that Ishin could have benefited from more substantial changes to the story, or overall flow of the game (my understanding is very little if any of that was changed).

At least it looks nice, mostly. The lighting can be great at times. A lot better than the other game I will get to shortly, haha. All that said, I did enjoy my time with Ishin, I just wish it had been better. If nothing else, it has a lot of fun side activities, and goofy sub-stories. And dogs and cats. Lots of dogs and cats.

6. Best Name of the Year: Like a Dragon Gaiden: The Man Who Erased His Name.

I really did not have “spin-off game picking up with Kiryu during the events of Yakuza: Like a Dragon being one of the better games from RGG Studio in the last few years” on my bingo card, yet here we are. Yes, it is a bit lower budget of a game than their typical fair, and I do think it suffers for it in some ways, but I also think it being more focused, and leaner is a strength in that doesn't really have any spots that drag in the story.

It also leans into one of the biggest strengths of this series, which is that they've created some really compelling characters, that after spending so much time with over the years, I know I at least have developed a stronger emotional connection with than I might have previously realized. Due to the story, and Kiryu having effectively chosen to exile himself from his past life (the titular erasing of his name), he's the only returning character with major screen time.

But, prior to the torch passing to Ichiban, he was the protagonist of the series, even when they went in the direction of multiple playable characters. And as much as I still am deeply frustrated with parts of the ending from Yakuza 6, I think LaDGTMWEHN finds a way get to the core of what erasing your name, and abandoning your previous life to protect the people you care about would do to you. These games always make me feel things, but usually it's either laughing at the goofy sub-stories, or feeling gripped by the twists and turns of stories so convoluted they'd make Kojima blush.

I don't think they've ever brought me to the verge of tears like this one did at the end. Not quite there, but I can see the thing they could be building toward, whether in Infinite Wealth, or a Gaiden 2, and if they do I think that would get me to bawl almost as hard as Kiryu did here. It's the sort of thing you really only get when you've had this sort of attachment to a character build over so many years.

And that's not even getting into how bizarre and goofy the game part is, because for some reason RGG Studio decided to make Kiryu into secret agent Spider-Man??? So, Kiryu once again has multiple fighting styles (which he did not in 6 or Kiwami 2). One is his typical brawling fair, with heavy hits than can be charged into even heavier ones, and a strong focus on fighting a single opponent. The other is faster, and with a slew of new gadgets, better for dealing with large groups, and LaDGTMWEHN has larger groups of enemies than I can recall facing in the previous games.

These gadgets are...unusual, to say the least. The starting one (and my favorite), is the wire. It's used for grappling enemies, and tossing them around like they weigh almost nothing. By default it can only grab one at a time, but fully upgraded it can handle five guys at once. To be clear, that means lassoing five enemies, and then throwing them all like twenty feet through the air, screaming and flailing along the way. Naturally Kiryu can also pull them in, then hit or throw them back, sending them spiraling through the air, and it is just so silly. I didn't laugh literally every time I did it, partly because I did it a lot, but I did giggle a lot at it. I really don't know what to say other than to call it silly. Not all enemies can be wire grabbed, heavier ones need an upgrade to grab, and bosses (mini or full) will just break the line, but it's good for just about everyone else.

The other three gadgets I didn't find nearly as useful, but they all had some use. There's drones that can be used to swarm and harass enemies, and exploding cigarettes that well, explode. Finally, there is perhaps the most ludicrous of them, the jet boots. Yes, jets in his boots. Sadly they're not nearly as useful as I wish they were. As far as I can tell, they're really only good for bowling into enemies and knocking them over, but I feel like grappling them five at a time is a better way to do that. Of course that requires upgrading the wire a lot, so that's something to keep in mind. The relative lack of animations on Kiryu as he jets around are again, very silly, which I appreciate.

Structurally, this is a Like a Dragon/Yakuza game. The story is linear, and aside from bits that introduce minigames, new gadgets, or other side stuff, it's focused on the story it's telling. Given the shorter length, it's a lot more focused than these games tend to be. Not as much side stuff as a full one of these tends to be, but there's more substories than I expected, and some pretty good ones in there too. There's a very funny one about the dangers of relying too heavily on an AI chat bot for advice (one that tells someone to jump off a bridge to impress his date, but can't manage to recommend a good local restaurant). There's more serious ones as well, like one involving another person from the same orphanage Kiryu grew up in, only he went down a very different path than Kiryu.

There's arena fights to be had, a whole crew to build up for those, gambling to be done, and of course hostesses to try to chat up... Now with full motion live action video, for some reason. I never really spend any time with that stuff, only what's needed to progress the story, and I can say that making it live video of actual women did not inspire me to come back for more. If anything it only makes it weirder, more awkward, and made me want to get it over and done with faster.

On the other hand, Kiryu raps as a backup vocalist in the karaoke, so that's rad (shout out to Akame being a cool lady in this game that doesn't fall victim to the usual annoying tropes this series pulls against its women characters). Don't worry, he sings plenty in the karaoke too, it wouldn't be one of these games without a good rendition of Baka Mitai. Or a Christmas song with video of Kiryu dressed as Ono Michio dressed as Santa.

Again, I'm really surprised that this game is as good as it is. I'm not shy about how disappointed I was with 6, and as fun as his cameo was in Yakuza: Like a Dragon, when it came to light that he wasn't really retiring from playing a major role in the series, I was getting pretty worried. With the longtime producer leaving to start up something new, it felt like the people now in charge didn't have any good ideas, so they were just going to trot Kiryu back out again.

If I'm being completely honest, I'm still a little skeptical about Kiryu's role in Infinite Wealth, even after playing the great demo included with LaDGTMWEHN. Everything else in that demo got me really excited, but perhaps that game's seeming confidence in itself should be reason enough to think they aren't bringing him back just to shore up the franchise, and there's good story reasons for it.

Kiryu's...not very good English voice actor isn't helping matters either. I know the “right” answer is to just play in Japanese (which I did in LaDGTMWEHN, and would have even if the dub wasn't patched in after I finished the story), but I like English Ichiban a lot! The English dubs for Yakuza: Like a Dragon and both Judgment games were great, but one of the reasons why I tried them in the first place was because they were positioned as being standalone stories, or at least semi-fresh starts with new casts of characters. Had I known this was going to happen, I probably would have stuck with Japanese for Y:LaD. But now here I am, attached to Kiryu's Japanese voice, and Ichiban's English voice. This is what I get for growing up on English dubs of Godzilla movies and anime, I guess.

I know this is a stupid thing to add that no normal studio ever would, but they should let people pick and choose what language each character uses. That would solve the problem, and surely not introduce numerous others, haha. Anyway, Kiryu aside, I still have high hopes for Infinite Wealth being good.

We'll know soon enough, because it's not long until that game is out. As for now though, I had a lot of fun with LaDGTMWEHN, and the story and emotional sides of it were a lot better than I expected, so even if Kiryu isn't done yet, so long as he's still being used well, who am I to complain?

Like a Dragon Gaiden: The Man Who Erased His Name also wins:

• Codename of the year: Joryu.
• Like a Dragon game of the year.
• Wire of the year.
• Arcade machines of the year.
• Silliest ragdoll physics of the year.
• Most perplexing use of live action video of the year.
• Karaoke of the year.
• Most/best use of traffic cones.
• Best fight against multiple tigers at once of the year.
• Jet boots of the year.
• Most ridiculous gadgets of the year.
• Networker of the year: Akame.
• Best cameo from another RGG Studio of the year.
• Castle of the year.
• Most health bars on one boss.
• End credits with lyrics of the year.
• Included demo of the year.

Expansion of the Year: Cyberpunk 2077: Phantom Liberty

I wrote a lot about Cyberpunk 2077 when I played it. Enough that I had to split it into two separate blogs. But there was a lot to say, between everything I liked (the story, characters, world, a lot of the combat/stealth), and the things I criticized (like how not very punk it actually was, how it treated the cops differently from regular enemies, etc). Suffice it to say that after spending 90 hours in that world, and getting really invested in V, and their journey, I was more than ready and excited for whatever CD Projekt had in store for DLC.

While some things that I was excited for ended up getting cut (multiplayer), we did at least get one expansion, Phantom Liberty. As of right now, it's supposed to be the only one, and while I think CD Projekt will stick to their word and not do another, it wouldn't surprise me if they did some more smaller updates in the future. They already added in a functioning metro system and the ability to go on dates with romantic partners in the time between my playing the expansion, and writing this. So who knows! I do kinda want to reinstall the game and see what those dates are. I'm curious if they actually wrote new scenes, and got those actors back in to record new lines, or if “dates” is just code for “watch the sex scenes again.” One of those things would be more interesting than the other (I've got no problems with the game having sex scenes, I just think they're all way longer than they should be).

There were various changes and bug fixes in the year plus since I played it, but Phantom Liberty and the accompanying 2.0 update to all the skill trees are the two big additions here. The changes to both how the skill trees work/are laid out and how the skills and systems function in game are honestly a lot more significant than I expected, and thankfully for the better. Right now, it kinda feels like there's no way to go wrong in the trees, and just about any build is at least good (especially since the game is so easy on normal (I turned it up to very hard at a point in Phantom Liberty to give myself a decent challenge)), and many are great.

I played the base game as a stealth focused hacker (netrunner?), and by the end that was so comically over powered that I could literally use one quick hack against one enemy, it would take them out, then spread to like six or seven other enemies. It was absurd! It's certainly still possible to focus on quick hacks that spread amongst enemies, but it's no longer a given, and that meant that even going into the expansion at a high level, I found myself having to think and strategize way more than before. Importantly though, after I got used to the new, more combo focused approach to quick hacks, they were basically just as powerful as before, if not more so in some other ways. To me, maintaining the usefulness, but requiring me to actually think about what I was doing to do well is absolutely a positive. I already enjoyed this style of play, but the 2.0 update made it even better.

Part of me wants to start the game over and go for a completely different build (speedy melee?), but considering how long it is, how I still have games in my backlog to get to, and the next three months are comically stacked with new, big releases (LaD: Infinite Wealth, FFVII Rebirth, Dragon's Dogma II, Suicide Squad: Kill the Justice League (which based on the alpha is actually very fun (plus Harley has become one of my favorite DC characters so I feel obliged to play it, haha)), etc), I think it'll be a while before I can justify that sort of time. Especially when there's another game on this top ten that patched in a new game plus that changes the story on subsequent playthroughs that I haven't gotten around to yet.

All this, and I haven't even gotten to actual Phantom Liberty yet, since the 2.0 system changes are a free update to the core game. It's just one of those things where I don't want to say too much, because I think it's pretty great, and don't want to spoil anything. Especially when, if I'm being honest, for a spy thriller, it didn't have nearly as many twists and turns as I expected. Or rather, it didn't have much that I didn't see coming. That's not me saying it's predictable, or complaining, just making an observation. Outside of one moment early on, there wasn't much that surprised me.

I know that Solomon Reed was the focus of the marketing, and of course he would be since he's Idris Elba, but the actual heart and soul of Phantom Liberty is Songbird. Both the narrative, and emotional core revolve around her, and she's great. I'd put her up there with characters like Judy, Panam, and Takemura from the base game that I got really invested in. That's all I'm gonna say though, because I think Phantom Liberty is absolutely a must play. Obviously anyone who enjoyed the base game is going to want to play this, but I'd even recommend it to a lot of people who had issues with the core game. I know several people who didn't particularly like aspects of the core game, but really liked Phantom Liberty. Not anyone I know super closely, all my close friends have better taste than that, haha.

I'm just kidding, I know this game isn't to everyone's tastes, but seriously. Phantom Liberty is everything than an expansion should be. Lots of good additions to the game part, a compelling story, and some really great side missions too. The one where V disguises themself as an infamous assassin quickly became one of my favorites across the whole game.

Apparently Phantom Liberty even adds a new ending to the base game, but I've not seen that. It requires both a different ending to the expansion than what I chose (and without spoiling anything, I will say that was one of the most difficult choices I've made in a game in a very long time), and obviously finishing the game again. Since I had picked up my old save from last year, it didn't feel right to go through and see a different ending. The one I got felt perfect for my V, and their journey through Night City, so I stand by that.

Maybe if I play it again, I'll get that new ending. Do that while playing an air dash katana build, while using the new cosmetic system to get armor bonuses from the few coats and helmets that have them, while looking nude. Who doesn't want to be a wild naked swordsman in a dystopian cyber future?

Or, in underwear at least, because everyone knows it's okay to show your character slicing and dicing people into pieces with a sword, but not okay to show genitals in first person. That does still annoy me, that V appears nude in the inventory screen, but has undies on in first person, or photo mode. At least the nude glitch still works, as of the last time I played, but that's only good for photo mode. No point in doing it for regular game play if I can't look down and see V's Penis 2 flopping around as they walk.

Anyway, so I don't end on a silly note like that, I do want to say that while I generally don't like celebrity casting for video games (as opposed to getting regular voice actors), I do think Cyberpunk 2077 is the best example of that being done right. Keanu as Johnny is as good as ever (they got him back in for lots of new lines), and Idris as Solomon is about perfect too. Aside from the marketing, in game it doesn't come off as a stunt, it feels like these actors were cast because they fit the roles (or perhaps the roles were written with them in mind), and they have enough presence that they didn't show up just for a quick cash grab.

Oh, and Dogtown. It's both fun to say, and has a really different vibe from the rest of Night City, which is cool. I wish it was maybe a little bit bigger, but I'm just happy they found a way to add more places to explore to the game at all.

Again, actual final words: Phantom Liberty is great, definitely the best expansion I played this year.

That's it for Part 1, which is technically not half the total length of the Moosies, but it made much more sense to cut it off halfway through the top ten. For anyone reading this on the day of publication (Friday, Dec 29), Part 2 should be up on Monday (Jan. 1). Thank you for reading, and hope you'll come back to see the rest soon!

I've done it, I've finally gotten to the fourth, and last Part of this series on The Legend of Zelda: Tears of the Kingdom. I'm not sure how many have actually come along with me on this, and read all of them, but writing so much about one game has been a fun experience. Bit challenging to try to keep it “relatively” contained, but mostly good to really stretch my writing skills and go for it, especially since I don't write as often as I used to. For better or worse, I won't be keeping up this weekly pace after I finish this series.

Of course, if anyone found this without reading the other Parts, here's Links to Part 1, Part 2, and Part 3. As for what Part 4 entails, it's a bit of a loosely connected grab bag of what I had left after the first trio. Stuff about the world, my ~Queer Thoughts~ regarding this game and ~Gender~, very Spoilery stuff about the main narrative (including the ending!!), but first, something I typically don't give enough attention to.

That would be the music. Music in games is something I usually don't know where to write about, so it often ends up being a last minute paragraph I stuff in at the very end, where I say something to the effect of, “it's good.” Since Tears' music is at least a little better than just “good,” I thought it deserved to be front, if not center here.

Not surprisingly, as Tears is a direct sequel to Breath of the Wild, almost all of the music from BotW returns in Tears. If they aren't literally the same files being reused, and are actually new recordings, they're so close that I was fooled. This isn't a bad thing, BotW had some of the best, and most smartly used music in any game I've played. Ever! Plus, using the same music allows for an extra layer of nostalgia to hit when returning to villages, or other notable locations. Rito Village just wouldn't be the same without some version of that music playing.

The Zelda series has long had not only some of the best music in all of video games, but also been the best at somehow managing to juggle that nostalgia for the older games, while still making sure the games have their own musical identities. BotW/Tears sound different from everything that came before, but that Rito Village theme that always hits me so hard has its roots in at least Wind Waker's Dragon Roost Island theme, assuming that wasn't drawing from some other song. I'm about as far from a musician as a person can be, so I'm just beyond impressed that they can routinely do things like this. Having songs from games decades apart that sound so different on the surface, yet so similar at their core. Again, I can't think of any other series I've played that does this as well as Zelda.

On top of that, a lot of the songs in Tears have alternate versions that play depending on the time of day, or other factors. They're more subdued at night, but build up again over the course of the morning, hitting their stride through the afternoon, before settling back down in the evening. It's subtle, the sort of thing that wouldn't be noticed at first, but it just adds so much to the world, and the mood.

All the great things about BotW's music are still here. The quiet little bits of exploration music that waft across the wind here and there, the soft town music that starts as Link approaches, which grows and grows until he enters. How it roars up into a frenzy when fighting, which actually brings me to something I took issue with in BotW. In my 2017 blog on the game, I complained about the combat music not looping well, and frequently sounding like it completely resets mid-fight. This isn't an issue I had with Tears, so either this game does a much better job looping it, or it just didn't bother me this time.

And while a few songs tied to specific things in BotW (like the Guardian theme) are gone, there's plenty of new music too. The brooding notes of The Depths in particular just fit perfectly with that mysterious part of the game, while the new music around the Zonai features some weird, otherworldly yet mechanical...chanting? Again, it works, it fits, and in a game that already has a great breadth of music, manages to sound like nothing else in there.

Particularly I need to praise the main theme. It's just a great piece of music on its own, but also encapsulates the whole of the game in (at least this version) under three minutes. It opens with the chanting, and quickly builds to the full hit of the music, before switching to a lighter exploration theme. Building up again, hitting different themes until the full thing kicks in again, then just goes for it. Soaring high, across the endless horizon... But then right before the end, it's got that dark menace that lies beneath the surface of Hyrule, just before it has a few classic notes that trail off into the ether.

And honestly, having finished this game, parts of this song make me well up with emotion just thinking about what happens late in Tears...but I'm not getting to that yet. Suffice it to say, I think Tears' music is excellent, and though I'm far from an expert on music, I think it's worth highlighting.

(Please forgive me if that specific video gets taken down in the future. I'm not going to be checking to make sure.)

Now that I've covered the music, it's time for the thing I've been teasing since Part 1, and probably shouldn't have teased as much as I did, but it's here: Moosey writing about Queer Stuff in Games! Or, perhaps less “Queer Stuff” and more “Nintendo's aversion to Queer Stuff?”

Let me start with Prince Sidon, the fan favorite shark man (and perhaps overall side character?) from BotW. Between his charming smile, and the fact that he's an extremely tall shark, people were, to be frank, horny for him. That, and his boundless admiration for Link in game made him a very popular ship (as in relationship). While I absolutely expected Nintendo would put zero percent intentional queerness in this game, I wasn't expecting there to be what kind of feels like backlash to the Sidon x Link ship.

Now Sidon is engaged, to a perfectly nice lady named Yona. I feel like I should emphasize up front that she is as good a character as any other NPC in this game, she is not personally the issue. According to the game, they're lifelong friends, and Yona is someone Sidon has admired ever since childhood. Never mind that she was never mentioned at all in BotW, despite the fact that the Zora domain is miniscule in terms of settlements, and no one seems to want to acknowledge the world that exists outside Hyrule. And, to be honest, I can't help but wonder if she exists primarily to push back against the people who want Link to be gay with a shark man.

I should be clear, and say that as much as I jokingly refer to Sidon as the “shark BF,” I never really shipped the two of them. Mostly because I'm not a particularly “shipping minded person.” That's not usually a way that I engage with media, unless there's very clearly something going on that is just subtext (I still feel like Noctis has a deeper emotional connection to everyone in his crew than his fiance, particularly Prompto), or it's a game with romance in it, but a certain character isn't romance-able (like Atlus' homophobia in Persona 5 keeping Yusuke and Ryuji (hell even slimeball Akechi) undate-able).

For me, I feel like part of this stems from how heterosexual and cisgender centric most media has been historically, and particularly everything I was exposed to as a kid. I spent, probably still over half my life at this point thinking that romance in media just didn't interest me, because so little of it ever made me feel anything. I think most of it is that a lot of romance in media just isn't done well, as there seems to be an assumption that simply having a dude and a lady get together is enough, and maybe for some people it is. Usually it's felt lazy to me, and sometimes even uncomfortable when it's about a dude basically forcing himself onto the lady, but it gets played as “romantic.”

Conversely, put two queer people together in a piece of media, and it sends my heart aflutter. Why? I can't really explain it, other than that representation matters, I guess. The funny thing is, I'm not gay gay, I'm bi, so even before falling down a gender hole and coming out nonbinary, it's not like I was ever personally opposed to dating someone of the “opposite” gender. (Side note, I intentionally still like to use the term bi while also being nonbinary because it's messy and contradictory, because I think it's important to remember that queerness is messy, and at the end of the day, these are all just words people created, not fundamental truths of the universe.)

So what does all this have to do with Sidon and Link? As much as I personally am not that invested in whether Link gets that shark double D or not, a fair number of people were, and at “best” this feels like Nintendo being chief of the no fun police yet again. At worst though? I can't help but feel like this was done out spite. Or if not spite, a feeling that they needed to assure people, “oh no, Sidon isn't gay, look at his beautiful not at all retconned fiance who is a woman and also always been a part of his life.” Like even the idea of a character being gay is bad enough that they need to prove it isn't so.

It just rubs me the wrong way. I mean, there's literally a statue in the middle of the Zora Domain of Link riding on Sidon's back. I believe it's supposed to be a recreation of the two of them opening the way to the Vah Ruta Divine Beast, but like...look at this statue. I mean...fellas, is it gay to commission a statue of your totally hetero best friend riding you and then publicly display it in the center of town?

Considering how far Nintendo went to make sure Sidon was on the “no homo” list, I was actually a little shocked when I ran into Bolson, quite a bit later in my journeys. For those who might not remember, Bolson was the guy Link could buy the house in Hateno Village from way back in BotW (I have more to say on that house later). He was also, to be blunt, flamingly gay. Or, at least the most stereotypically gay looking character I can recall seeing in a Nintendo game. “Queer coded” would be another, more sterile way to put it.

Not that Bolson really does anything outwardly queer, I was just happy he didn't get the Kass treatment (where's my favorite Bird Bard, Nintendo??), and got to return. Elsewhere, I didn't personally think this myself, but after poking around the internet I did come across an article in which the author says a diary entry from the character Calip is, “gay as hell.” I feel like that's stretching it to say the least, but I'll link to the article, because clearly my novella on the game isn't enough reading as is, haha.

So, Sidon's fiance feels like push back, but Bolson (and perhaps others?) get to at least be queer-adjacent, but that still leaves one topic. Something that I somehow didn't actually write about in 2017, but will now: Link disguising himself as a lady in BotW to get into Gerudo Town. At the time I really disliked that whole sequence. I couldn't help but see the parallels between that, and the transphobic claims that trans women are just men in disguise trying to prey on women in rest rooms and the like.

But, at the time I also didn't acknowledge that even as much as that parallel does exist, there were a decent number of people that really liked that outfit. Particularly because they were able to dress up Link in something so explicitly feminine, both in its visual design, and culturally in the world of Hyrule. Meanwhile the only thing I cared about back then was using what was the “most functional.” So that's why I spent the vast majority of that game wearing the bandana for faster climbing, rather than caring how Link looked. To be fair, I at least dyed the bandana, as I'm not really a fan of the default red.

Anyway, to say I was a little trepidatious about Gerudo Town in Tears is an understatement. But, I am on the one hand happy to say the residents of Gerudo Town this time decided to make an exception. Finally Link can come and go as he pleases, as the one dude allowed free access to Gerudo Town. Just so long as he keeps his shirt on, because they seem to have pretty strict rules against “public indecency” (even if the Gerudo tailored Desert Voe set shows off so much chest and belly that he may as well be topless). So, it's all good, right? No more transphobic parallels to real life, no more needing to switch everything Link is wearing before entering town, no problems, right?

Well, yes, but also, as far as I can tell, that outfit from BotW is the only one that didn't return in Tears. When, to the best of my knowledge, everything else did, including fan-service outfits from older games that don't serve any purpose in this incarnation of Hyrule, the cynic in me can't help but think it was taken out because Nintendo didn't like that people liked it for the reasons they did. “Oh, people like dressing up Link as a girl? Well, we can't have that!”

But the thing that makes it so weird to me is how strangely feminine some of the new outfits are, and it just makes me so curious to know what was going through the heads of the people designing them. And not just secret stuff, I mean stuff that is all but unavoidable. After the prologue, when Link wakes up in his underwear, the first piece of armor found is that skort I mentioned in a previous Part. No shirt, unlike BotW, there's just a single chest, and the only thing in it is that skort and sandals set. Meaning that for the first, at least hour (or longer for those who luxuriate in exploration like me), Link is shirtless, and probably wearing a skirt. Which is a look. Even after finding the next piece of armor, it's what I suppose could be called a toga, but really it feels kind of like a dress with half the top missing.

The point being is that for the opening chunk of the game Link is running around in what I would call a pretty feminine set of clothing, with his new, long hair flowing in the wind. And it's a look I quite like! Aesthetically, I'd say Tears is my new favorite Link. Between the hair, this great new fashion, and the rad arm, Link's never been cooler (even if personality wise he's kind of a goofball (which only makes him more endearing)).

It's a mix of just genuinely finding this new look cool, and different from previous Links (even from BotW), but also just a bizarre cocktail of my own gender envy feelings. Shirtless in a skort with long flowing hair? Cool new arm with angular lines where it connects to the rest of the body, and GLOWS when using abilities? Relatively wide hips and a short stature that almost make me think he's a trans guy? I can't exactly put into words how some things like that give me, an “assigned male at birth” nonbinary person gender envy, but I can't lie about how the game made me feel. And I had a lot of fun playing dress up with Link in Tears, certainly more so than I did in BotW. Almost every time I found a new piece of gear, I then found myself rushing off to Hateno Village to get it dyed to just the right color. It is indeed, a good day to dye.

Then there's some of the outfits later in the game. I mean, look at the Frostbite top. Tell me that isn't just a dress. A fancy one at that. Don't forget the accompanying headdress that dyes Link's hair instead of the headdress itself. This outfit combined with Link's effeminate twink looks just, well it almost feels like it's from an alternate universe from the one where they removed the Gerudo lady set.

The back of the top is open, and in a fancy shape! Masculine fashion just doesn't look like that, which to be honest, is a shame. Don't get the idea that I just like this because of twink Link. If other games are going to keep making the protagonists big buff dudes, they should have the option to wear stuff like this too, just make sure it's well tailored to look good for their body shapes too.

So, I'm not really sure what to think about this stuff on the whole. Most of the armor is typical fair for the series, and not anything that would raise any eyebrows either way. I did like the “Trousers of the Hero,” which are part of the original Zelda armor set, as they're just short-shorts and boots. When I say “short-shorts,” I mean that they are literally shorter than Link's underwear. The intent being to evoke the old art of Link from back in the day where the tunic was long enough that he didn't need pants.

Now, wearing that in this game with most of the tops, it makes Link look like he's wearing shirts only just long enough to get away without pants. Again, to me, this is peak “gender envy fashion,” both because it's an aesthetic I like, but also because it's not really a look I can pull off in real life, for a variety of reasons. Anyway, these short-shorts ended up being the bottoms I fully upgraded to go along with the Champion's Leathers (the blue armor from the box art) for my high defense outfit. All the classic Zelda items have the same defense stats, so I figured, why not?

Along with the headwear that dyes his hair, naturally. I went with pink, because of my favorite thing from a game that I otherwise don't love: Link's pink hair in A Link to the Past. (A Link to the Past is fine, it's more that I just had so much difficulty with the combat that I had to use emulator save states to get through the game, and found it frustrating.) I know it was actually just some color palette oddity, but to me that hair is the most iconic thing in that game.

I don't bring up this stuff about the fashion just because I'm me (a weirdo), but because both BotW and especially Tears feel like they're moving the series further along in the direction of player expression. Definitely in terms of game design, puzzle solving, exploration, etc. But also in terms of the protagonist. Yes, Link is still Link, but in BotW players could dress him up in a whole variety of outfits that they could mix and match, whereas in previous games players were lucky if there were different colors of tunic to swap between. Then Tears added headwear that dyes his hair, but removing that Gerudo outfit makes it seem like Nintendo is too afraid to go all the way with it.

No, I don't really expect the next incarnation of The Legend of Zelda will have a full on character creator, but I would like to see an option to just dye Link's hair, separate from specific headwear. And while I'm at it, more headwear should have the long flowing hair. Almost all of it ties the hair up in the back, like in BotW. I get how that would be more practical in real life, but I like the look of the flowing hair better, and this is a video game. If Link can survive a fall from any height so long as he lands in water more than a couple feet deep, his hair doesn't need to be practical.

I am truly beyond curious what Nintendo's reaction to Tears' fashion will be. If the plethora of fan art is any indication, I'm far from the only person smitten with the Frostbite set, so will they push back against it again? Or maybe, just maybe, might we live in a world lucky enough for them to embrace giving Link some more options for player expression next time around? Fingers crossed for hair styles and coloring. Possibly even makeup? Link wears lipstick with the one big mushroom hat!!! I hope whoever sneaked that in didn't get fired, this is something I'm truly shocked got through.

While I'm writing about gender-adjacent things, I feel like I need to gripe a little about the Gerudo, and how painfully cis-hetero they are. Like, here's this race of people that are only women, yet their entire culture seems to revolve around finding men to reproduce with. To the extent that in game there's a classroom with lessons being taught (one for younger girls and one for older teens/young adults), but they're all about how to deal with men and find a husband. And when a Gerudo woman does give birth to a Gerudo boy, he automatically becomes their ruler. Which they say that happens every X (100?) years, yet Ganondorf is the only one that's ever been mentioned throughout the series. Certainly the only memorable one.

More than anything else, I think that's just boring. Like I obviously don't expect Nintendo to make a game with anything to say about gender, or has a feminist undercurrent to it, but they should do something more interesting with it. Like, even the Gorons, who as far as I know only have one gender, though they're all bros. The closest the game comes to discussing how they reproduce is that they apparently just pop out of the ground? Does that make any sense at all? Not really, but at least it has enough of an air of mysterious weirdness to it that I think it's kind of funny. If nothing else, the Gorons exist to do more than find a husband to impregnate them.

Sorry, that last sentence was a little harsh on my part, but I think they could do better. When the bros who literally eat rocks are more interesting than the culture of warrior women who live in the harsh desert, somebody somewhere has messed up.

The world-building in Zelda has always been a bit...odd. Some things just feel so mysterious, and get hinted at in the background in ways that approach From Software levels of environmental storytelling. A lot about the BotW/Tears version of Hyrule is only implied by the environments, and embellished just a little by the names that appear on the map after discovering them, and that's cool. Other things get long spiels of dialog about them, which is neat too, but some things just...feel like they were brushed aside?

That brings me to the gap of time between BotW and Tears. It's never directly stated how much time passed, but the general consensus seems to be around five or six years between the games. How much of that was prior to Tears' prologue, and how much is between the prologue and the proper start of the game is also unclear, though I'm inclined to think the bulk of it was pre-prologue.

For those wondering how that rough estimate was come to, it's mostly from there being children in Tears who seem to be about that age, but weren't in BotW. Particularly Hudson and Rhondson's daughter, because their meeting each other and marriage happened in the course of the Tarrey Town quest in BotW. Tulin has also grown quite a between the games, but if I'm being brutally honest, I forgot Tulin was in BotW until I looked it up after the fact.

Anyway, a lot of dialog across Tears, both relating to the story, and just as NPC chatter has to do with the time between the games, and The Upheaval. A pretty fitting name for the event that opened chasms across Hyrule, and revealed a slew of skylands up above. Makes perfect sense that this world shifting event would be at the forefronts of everyone's minds, and I get that, but like...no one seems to remember The Calamity? The thing that plagued the kingdom for a hundred years? With all the killer robots patrolling the countryside, shooting at anything that moved? There's even a bit with kids in school who think it was made up, and I guess they're young enough that they wouldn't remember it, assuming they were even alive in BotW.

Writing it now, part of me is becoming convinced that this is secretly commentary on how huge world altering things can be so easily forgotten by people once they're over, but that doesn't completely jive with my experience in the game. What I had meant to say is about the Guardians, and the fact that there's zero trace of them. Not a single shred of a Guardian anywhere in the world. Neither are any of those shrines, or the towers, those were all replaced by different towers (this time newly built) and shrines that popped up during The Upheaval.

I don't doubt that once the Guardians deactivated (which I assume happened after Calamity Ganon was defeated), people would be happy to be rid of them. That still doesn't explain where they went. And these aren't things that just biodegrade, in BotW there were fields full of broken Guardian husks. Just sitting there for a century. I'm sure some of these could've been destroyed during The Upheaval, but every single one across the entire game? Maybe some people took it upon themselves to dismantle the Guardian remnants, but I don't think that feels feasible to have done in that time frame. Plus that doesn't explain where all those bits left over went!

To me, what this feels like is despite Tears being a direct sequel, the devs still wanted people to be able to play it with zero knowledge of BotW. Thus, since the Guardians weren't important to the story they wanted to tell, they just wiped them from the face of Hyrule. Every last one. I get it, but also I thought the Guardians were really fun to fight, so I'm still a little bummed they're gone. Hearing the Guardian music and seeing the laser bead in on Link was such a fun moment of panic, that later turned into a thrill after I mastered the timing on the parry.

As much as I am disappointed and perplexed by the lack of Guardians, I do feel like everything else gets some good fleshing out. Particularly what Zelda was up to between the games. It turns out, going basically everywhere and helping everyone. She may have spent a century locked into a battle to keep Calamity Ganon at bay, but it sounds like as soon as she was back on her feet, she was traveling the kingdom doing her best to rebuild, and help those in need.

Except for one case, where she ruthlessly, and thoughtlessly stole something from one of her most loyal compatriots. I'm talking about Link's house! My house! The house I worked so hard, saved up so much, spent so much time gathering wood to buy! She stole it!!

Okay, let me take a deep breath, calm down, and explain. In BotW, Bolson had a house he was going to demolish, but when Link shows an interest in it, he decides to make a deal. For a sum of Rupees, and many bundles of wood, Link can have the house. Later the house can be furnished, and this quest leads to the other quest to build Tarrey Town. Technically this was all optional in BotW, but I did it, and Tarrey Town exists in Tears, so canonically it happened. Link bought that house.

So, in Tears, when I got to Hateno Village, I eventually found my way back to that house, and almost leaped from my seat in joy as I remembered. “That's my house!” I raced over, barged in through the door, and was quite startled to see someone else in there. The mayor's wife, for whatever reason, had been taking it upon herself to keep the house clean and tidy for...Zelda?? What, no, she must be mistaken, this was Link's house. MY house. But as I looked around, it did look much better furnished than it was under Link's care, and even featured a framed picture of a Zelda's horse on a wall.

Then I found the diary near the bed, and started reading. It turns out, as Zelda needed a place to get away from Hyrule Castle (understandable), she started staying at this house. But the thing that gets on my nerves is, she doesn't say Link let her stay there for a while, she acts like it was just her house! And I can see exactly how this happened. Link probably mentioned the house in passing (because Link can talk, don't forget, there's plenty of dialog options for him when talking with NPCs), then Zelda girl-bossed her way into living there, and gaslit everyone into thinking it was her house. Link, being Link, just let her do it, because he's a much better person and kinder soul than Zelda deserves.

I can't even say that without feeling a little bad, because what was she doing while living in Hateno Village? She commissioned Hudson Construction to build a schoolhouse. Then she started teaching the children herself. How can I stay mad when she was literally taking her time to teach children? I did the quests to help teach those kids, I couldn't put up with those unruly children day in and day out. And these children like her so much, they keep asking when Zelda will return, which is adorable in a really sad way.

Maybe I couldn't stay mad, but I could get even. So, while Link still had free use of Zelda's his house, that isn't the only domicile available to him. While Tears doesn't feature a massive construction quest like building Tarrey Town, there is one building related thing for him there. That is, after finishing a new quest for Hudson and Rhondson, Link has the opportunity to buy a plot of land near the town, and build his very own house.

Of course I jumped on the opportunity, and was initially delighted that the modular house pieces meant I got to design it myself! Unfortunately the options are pretty limited, as the house's color can't even be changed from the default green. There's a limited number of modules, only about sixteen can be used at once, and there's no options to customize their interiors. Plus I wish I could give it a shingled roof, like the other modular houses down in Tarrey Town proper. I'd say maybe the DLC will expand the house options, but I suspect some of these are technical, not design limits.

All that said, it's still neat, and I'm happy enough with the end product. It's a cozy little place, with a good view, but I do wish it was a little closer to Tarrey Town. Also, I get why functionally, but it's a little weird that an NPC just...lives in a stall next to the house. Link has to talk to him to customize anything but like...dude, go home.

Regardless, it's a place of my own, one that Link can go to, get away from everything, and just relax. Hopefully one that won't be taken by any princesses any time soon. But, I was still a little disgruntled about losing the other place, so an idea came to me after encountering another quest, and remembering that framed picture on the wall...

Zelda had a prized horse, with golden hair, unlike any other. A favorite of hers, but it broke loose and ran away at some point after The Upheaval. Link gets asked if he could help find it, so of course he does, because I know I can't say no to a side quest. After getting the horse back to the stable, despite it being Zelda's horse, I was given the option to add it to my stable (before then, zero horses strong because I never use horses in this game). I really didn't have much use for a horse (they're okay for pulling wagons), but a gear in my head turned when I remembered something about the house in Tarrey Town. One of the building pieces is a paddock, where a horse can be kept.

So, I stabled the horse, named it Homer (the name I give to all my video game pets and/or mounts), dyed its mane purple for fun, and kept it at the paddock.

She stole my house, so I stole her horse.

This is not only by far the pettiest thing I've ever done in a Zelda game, it's quite possibly the pettiest thing I've done in any game.

And I'd do it again.

I think at this point, what's left are my thoughts on the story. Obviously that will be Spoiler City, so it's tucked away inside a Spoiler Zone. Don't click on it if you haven't finished the game, unless you know you're not going to play it (though I would recommend it, it's quite good, haha).

As for non-Spoilery thoughts on Tears' story? For those curious, I think there's some things that I wish were better fleshed out, there's something in the prologue that wasn't foreshadowing what I thought it was, and I think it would've been cooler if it had. Some unexpected things do happen, but it's still a Zelda game, and for those who haven't finished it, I would keep my expectations in check for what happens.

Though I will say, part of me does feel like this might be the first time the “Legend of Zelda” name is actually earned, given what Zelda does, even if she isn't the playable character. And the ending is absolutely terrific, just an incredible bit of spectacle. I'm not kidding when I say I felt on the verge of crying at a point. But for details on why, go finish the game and come back to read beyond the...

SPOILER ZONE.

Right at the end of the prologue, when Link and Zelda find the desiccated but not quite dead Ganondorf, the moment when he recognizes the two of them was one of my favorite bits of storytelling in the whole franchise. My mind went wild just thinking about it. Does he remember things from past incarnations of the series? They've done things like that before. Wind Waker's Ganondorf remembered the searing winds of the Gerudo Desert, in another moment that has truly stuck with me over the years. And Twilight Princess' Ganondorf had been similarly imprisoned since an earlier era.

Ganondorf is really the only character that across the series has had actually interesting things done with him. I've long found him much more compelling than his Ganon form, which is rarely more than just an evil pig demon. Calamity Ganon at least had a cool design for his first form in BotW, but in the end he just turns into a giant feral hog. Ganondorf, though? He's a character, with plans, and motivations, and that's way more interesting.

At least, I remember him having motivations in those older games, because here...as far as I could tell he's just evil? He wants to conquer the world, and rule everything, but I don't think the game ever really established why. Modern era Ganondorf clearly wants his revenge and whatnot for being imprisoned for ten thousand years, but I don't think flashback Ganondorf had any reason for it other than he's just evil?

It doesn't ruin the game by any means, and I do like that this Ganondorf is a big schemer. He's the sort that when attacking with brute force didn't work, he concocted a plan that involved using a fake Zelda to trick others so he could get one of the Secret Stones to gain its power. That I like, that's a cool bit of storytelling, and I really like that he does it in the modern era too. His physical form is still too weakened to fight, but he's crafty enough to manipulate Hyrule, trying to plunge it all into chaos while he regains his strength.

It just would have been nice if during these flashbacks to flesh out what Zelda was doing with Rauru and Sonia, they also took some time to flesh out Ganondorf, and why he does the things he does. Maybe this is a silly example, but it makes me think of Zamasu from Dragon Ball Super. He's a villain whose goal is literal genocide across the entire multiverse, but he also ends up as the most compelling and fleshed out villain in the franchise (not counting bad guys who later became good, like Piccolo and Vegeta), simply because they actually took the time to develop why he wants to commit multiversal genocide.

There was one question I had throughout the game, and didn't get an answer to until I happened to have a conversation with Impa after she returned to Kakariko Village: What was up with Calamity Ganon? If Ganondorf had been imprisoned for ten thousand years, then what was up with this? It turns out that while he was hidden away underground, his hatred was so strong that it manifested in the Calamity, and the events of BotW. At least it's an answer.

Then there's the whole time travel angle. The reason Ganondorf recognized Zelda was she traveled back ten thousand years, to when he was the buffest man in Hyrule. Not quite as interesting as Ganondorf remembering her from a previous game, but not bad either. While Ganondorf was being evil and scheming, Zelda was having tea parties with her ancestors, and trying to learn the Recall ability that Link would later master instantly in a shrine (that's being unfair, Zelda doesn't have a goat arm to make it easier).

All this is told via flashbacks found in the titular Tears of the Kingdom across Hyrule, and they do eventually explain why these memories exist in the form of glowing Nazca lines plastered around the world. In one flashback, Zelda is learning about the Secret Stones, and Mineru (later to be the Sage of Spirit MECH) presents a theory of what would happen if someone decided to eat one:

They'd turn into an immortal dragon.

Now, do I think that when BotW was made, the devs knew that the big dragons moseying around the sky were actually ancient people who ate Secret Stones? No, this screams of retcon to me. BUT, this is the sort of wild out of nowhere swing for the lore that I appreciate, and wish the Zelda series would do more often. For such a fantastical world, they don't really do that many totally bananas things like this. A lot of the time things don't get any explanation, which is usually good. I don't need to know where Koroks or the Great Deku Tree came from biologically, for example. It's enough to have a giant talking tree and race of little root buddies that scatter little puzzles around the world.

Anyway, as soon as the turn into a dragon lore dropped, I had an idea where it was going, but not to the full extent. Meanwhile, in the modern era, at the house Zelda cruelly stole from Link, I found an underground hidey-hole. Zelda commissioned a secret cellar, and in there I found her hidden diary, which mentioned a new set of armor for Link. Of course it was tucked away in Hyrule Castle, so it wasn't going to be the easiest to get, but I wanted that armor. Eventually I went up there and got it, and though I usually try not to look things up online, I did go and see what the final upgraded defense for the Champion's Leathers was. At 32 it seemed like the highest out of all the armor in the game, and remember that a lot of this game is pretty difficult without good armor, so I wanted to upgrade it. I took it to a Great Fairy, and was a bit perplexed at the resources I needed.

“Light Dragon materials?” I was puzzled. “What's the Light Dragon?” After a while I again gave in and went to the internet, and somehow managed to find the one article describing how to find the Light Dragon to get these upgrade materials, but without saying a single thing about what the Light Dragon is. So, with this new information...I still wasn't able to find this mysterious dragon.

At some point, just for fun, I decided to return to Great Sky Island, and see if there was anything new. When I saw a pillar of light atop the Temple of Time, I was a little surprised that my visit would actually yield something! It turned out to be a challenge from a Zonai Construct to traverse the tutorial area again, lighting some big fires, and doing it all without touching the ground. Fun challenge, and I got some more lore from that Construct about the Temple, and the surrounding gardens. That was all interesting, but as I was about to leave, I looked around, and waaaay off in the distance, somehow even higher in the sky, I saw...something.

A dragon? This high up? I took out my Purah Pad, and after taking a picture, I confirmed it was indeed the Light Dragon I had been searching for. Seeing my chance, I Auto-Built a Flying Platform stocked with batteries, and took off. Even so I still had to use a Large Zonai Charge to recharge mid-flight, but eventually I made it. A new dragon, but this time the music was different. Softer, sadder? More...nostalgic? As I approached, I suddenly had a flash, as I remembered something I saw briefly, but tried to push out of my head.

I do my best to avoid spoilers for games I want to experience in the game itself, but even I'm not perfect at it. Sometimes, when I spend too much time on social media, I'll accidentally catch a glimpse of some fan art I didn't want to see. Including one I saw of Link beside a dragon, with...

When I saw that art, I closed the page, went on with my day, and tried to forget about it. I didn't know the context, and there were several different ideas I had about what it could be. Still, I tried not to think about it...until I was up here, so I just had to check. I hopped off my platform (remember, still no altitude control) and ran along the back of this dragon. My anticipation building as I drew nearer to the head, first seeing a mane of golden hair, and the antlers, then as I crested the mane, I saw it...

The Master Sword, stuck into this dragon's head. Instantly the anticipation exploded into excitement, all I could think was, “this is the greatest game ever made.” Of course I grabbed it, and my stamina being fully upgraded, I passed the test, and finally reclaimed the Sword that Seals the Darkness. Now, how this sword ended up in this dragon, I didn't yet know. But knowing the connection between the sword and Zelda, and given this dragon's mane, it was clear who she was.

Zelda had turned into an immortal dragon.

I feel like traveling back ten thousand years to fight a demon king, then eating a Secret Stone to turn into a dragon is a pretty legendary thing to do. In most of these games, Zelda really just turns into a different flavor of damsel in distress. BotW tried to flesh her out a bit more, and technically she was holding back the Calamity for a century, which doesn't quite make her a damsel. Even if that situation sounds pretty distressing. Short of doing the thing only the CD-I Zelda devs and the Crypt of the Necrodancer team were brave enough to do (making Zelda playable through the whole game), I feel like this is the best Nintendo has ever, and may ever do for making Zelda herself feel worthy of Legend.

So I stumbled backwards into this, but still didn't know why Zelda turned into a dragon, or how the Master Sword wound up lodged in her head. At least until I got the last of the Tears (which also revealed dragon Zelda herself was crying them into existence), and pieced it together. The Master Sword broke in the prologue, and went back in time at the end of the tutorial skyland. With it in Zelda's possession, and her having the knowledge that the sword will repair itself over time when exposed to holy magic, she took it upon herself to create an everlasting means to fix the sword, despite knowing the cost. In becoming a dragon, she would lose all sense of herself. Her identity, her memories, everything, just...gone. Willing to sacrifice it all in one last, desperate attempt to make sure Link had a way to defeat Ganondorf, far ahead in the future.

There's also a bit during this where Zelda refers to the Master Sword as “she,” and combined with some noise the sword made, that also got me thinking...has Fi been in the Master Sword the entire time?

Skyward Sword is at the very start of the Zelda timeline. And for as much as the timeline is kind of nonsense, especially after it splits into three, the idea that Fi has been living in there for all this time... It's just another moment that got me thinking about the nature of time, and the unfathomable scale of it in this universe. Like, there's ten thousand years between the flashbacks, and the playable part of Tears. Yet that's still the same incarnation of Hyrule. Every part of the timeline, every game has its own version of the world and characters, meaning that for these sorts of changes to happen, wouldn't the whole world have to be destroyed and rebuilt? Like a new universe starting, basically? Aside from Wind Waker, that has an ocean to bury Hyrule beneath it, that's the one I could see not needing a new universe to cover up the past.

Or maybe I'm over thinking it.

Anyway, I think it's rather funny that I not only found Zelda and the Master Sword before either of the ways the game actually points Link to them, not only did that before the game brings her lower in the sky to make her easier to reach...I went up to farm materials to fully upgrade the Champion's Leathers. Keep in mind, each upgrade requires two of the requisite resource, and only one can be gathered at a time. So I went up, got the one scale or whatever, then left, came back later, etc.

Then a friend told me you can just stay up there and wait like ten minutes and get another thing without leaving and I just... Laughed. How else could I react, haha?

Plenty happens in the present of Hyrule, though it's mostly about the regional stories tied to the Temples. Each it turned out had been manipulated in some way by a fake Zelda controlled by Ganondorf. Eventually it turns out there's a fifth Temple, and Link gets a MECH. Literally, Mineru's spirit possesses a robot, and Link can pilot her like it's Titanfall 2! This isn't really story related but I couldn't fit this in anywhere else, and I still can't believe they put a mech in a Zelda game! Yes, I wish her damage was better, but still. It's cool.

Eventually, well over 200 hours into this game, I had done basically everything. All the Temples, all the shrines, all the major side quests, and all that left was...plunging beneath Hyrule Castle to finally take on Ganondorf himself. Just getting to him was a gauntlet in itself, fighting past a Lynel, running from Gloom Hands, and dealing with so many enemies along the way. Eventually going so deep Link's Sage rings could no longer summon his Stands, and it just went deeper, and deeper...

Just when Link seems overwhelmed with a huge swarm of enemies, all his Sage buddies show up in the flesh, and it's a really cool moment! Of course after waves of enemies they have to stay back and fend off new versions of all the Temple bosses (which I've been told is a boss rush for people who didn't complete the Temples, all five in a row with no checkpoints!!), so Link goes deeper still to reach his nemesis deep down.

Newly revitalized, Ganondorf is ready to duel, and I think this is my new favorite boss fight in the whole series. Definitely my favorite final boss. It's not anything too fancy, or flashy, just a good old fashioned sword fight, with a few twists. I love when games mess around with core mechanics, so the first time Ganondorf slow motion dodged one of my attacks, I lost it. Here he was, for the first time, doing the very thing Link, and only Link could do in these two games. One of the cores of the combat is using that slow motion dodge to leave enemies open for a flurry attack, and he could do it to ME. Luckily I managed to always dodge, or block his follow up, so I don't know if he does a full flurry back on Link, but I wouldn't doubt it.

Then, after draining his health bar, I knew it couldn't be over yet, and sure enough, it wasn't. But not only did it refill, the bar kept growing, until it reached the edge of the screen, at least twice as long as it was originally. Again, I cannot get enough of when games do things like this. What better way to illustrate that he not only isn't defeated, he's powered up to be even stronger? So the fight continues, eventually Ganondorf summons copies of himself, but the Sages finally catch up, making it an even fight. My first thought was to take out the copies first, but then I realized the Sages had them handled, so I just focused on the real deal, while they all fought in the background. Just another rad moment in a great boss fight.

By the final phase, Ganondorf (having gone Super Saiyan 3) is not holding back, and uses the same Super Gloom from the prologue that broke the Master sword, and drained Link's max health/stamina. With ten thousand years to heal, the Master Sword is fine, even able to repel the attacks back to the source and hurt Ganondorf. But when Link gets hit, these attacks don't just break hearts like regular Gloom, they erase them. Completely gone! Every hit, my max health decreasing, with no way to restore them. I cannot emphasize enough how great this boss fight is, with things like this in it.

Difficulty wise, it felt balanced just right. I had to play well, dodge and parry when I could, but I got through it all in one attempt. Not too easy, not too hard. So, with Ganondorf on the ropes, absolutely furious that this little punk was able to best him, he pulled out the last trick in his sleeve:

The Secret Stone. The source of his power, that allowed him to survive ten thousand years, and return to full strength. He ate it, and became a dragon himself, taking Link with him soaring up into the sky, high above the castle.

But then, in flies Zelda to rescue Link. Despite having lost herself, stuck as a dragon for ten thousand years, here she still came, to Link's aid right when he needed her. This last part of the boss isn't difficult, it's almost all spectacle. Yet it was all just so much, combined with the beautiful music, and I really felt it all welling up in me as I leaped from Zelda to Ganondorf below, taking out his weak spots one by one as the sun set on the horizon, soon replaced with the Blood Moon, larger than ever, until the prompt for the final hit came, and...

The next bit's kind silly, where Link's shirt and head wear disappear for the cutscene (leaving my Link just wearing short-shorts and boots) to make sure players can see his face and arm clearly, but the spirits of Rauru and Sonia appear, and combined with Link, they turn Zelda back to normal, return Link's original arm (sadly), and leave...

Leave Link and Zelda plummeting back to the ground! One last bit of game play, with Link zooming down, flying through clouds as the ground grew nearer, and eventually reaching out to grab Zelda, stretching as far as his arm will go...until he grabs her! And holds her close as they plunge into water, returning safely.

The two reunite, after so, so long, and again, I got emotional. I'm getting emotional just writing about it now. I can criticize these games for often having paper thin stories all day long, but I've been playing them for so many years. Even if Link and Zelda change for every new setting, I've still gotten attached to them. Especially these two specifically, and it got to me. Their long, arduous journey was finally over, and the two could rest, knowing peace had returned to Hyrule as a new day dawned.

Still wish he kept the arm, though. That means Purah and Robbie are going to have to concoct some new device for Link to build things in the next game, right? We'll see, I guess.

END OF SPOILER ZONE.

Part of me can't believe I've managed to write as much about Tears of the Kingdom as I have, and for the most part I feel good about what I've written. Maybe I went a little long on just describing how the abilities work in Part 2, and I'm sure there's plenty of other bits that could have been edited to be more concise, but pretty good overall, I'd say. Over 27,000 words, across 66 double spaced pages. On one game. Never seriously thought I'd actually write a full novella on one game, but here I am! Spent almost two months playing the game, and now another month on top of that writing about it.

Really though, I still can't believe how good this game is. Like, in 2017, I wrote something to the effect of BotW being a really great game, but one with a lot of flaws that held it back from being a true masterpiece. Tears though... I went in telling myself not to expect it to surpass, or even meet the way that BotW made me feel, and yet... I think it surpassed it all. In every way I think this is a better game, and a much better one at that. Even if I went on to later think BotW was my favorite game, at the time it felt pretty flawed, but Tears...

Like, can I really say it's already my new favorite game? Does it help that I genuinely thought to myself, many times while playing that it's the greatest game ever made? I could probably write a whole other piece trying to work through what it means to, early on in a game, have a feeling where I realized I might be playing my new favorite game, and what a surreal experience that was.

Really, none of that matters that much. What matters is I think Tears is phenomenal. Beyond my wildest expectations, and I love it. It's an experience that I hope I never forget, and all I can really do now is just wait and see what the DLC ends up being, assuming they do it. Probably will. Also, wonder when, or if a game will ever make me feel like this again. Surely they couldn't pull a three-peat with the next Zelda...right...?

That, and try to figure out how on Earth I'll have more to say about this game when it wins GOTY at the Moosies this year... Not to spoil the results, but come on. I'm not even going to entertain the idea that Spider-Man 2 or whatever will top this. Not for me. I'm sure plenty of people will put games like Baldur's Gate III, or even Starfield as their GOTY, and I'm sure for some they'll have their “favorite game” experiences, and for whatever else in the future too.

But this one is mine. An experience like little other, and I'm so glad for it. Same for writing this, and I hope to any who read it, or any piece of it, that you got something out of it. Even if it was just a nice thing to go with your day.

Take care of yourselves, and see you all next time!

This is Part 3 of a four part series on The Legend of Zelda: Tears of the Kingdom. Normally I can squeeze everything I have to say about a game into one, or at most two blogs, but this one obviously left me with quite a bit more to say. Here's Links to Part 1 and Part 2, and I would certainly recommend reading at least Part 1 first. Part 4, with a focus on story, world, and other various thematic thoughts should be coming in the near future, so stay tuned! Hopefully it doesn't balloon into a Part 5!

Part 3 is mostly focused on my thoughts on the overall difficulty of the game, and some specific Temples and other focused story sequences. As such, that means spoilers for some scenarios, but not for anything explicit about the narrative, or puzzle solutions. However, when Part 2 went on too long, I was left with a story that I couldn't figure out where else to include, so it's following after this paragraph. Think of it as Part 2.5.

I have a story to tell, of what I now refer to as Garland Quest. From very late in my time with Tears, it revolves around some good old fashioned vehicular nonsense. It begins in Gerudo Town, with Link volunteering to aid in some classes for the young adults amongst the Gerudo, to help them get used to talking to men (Voe as they say it). Given Link is about the least imposing man in this world (I think being in stasis for a century stunted his growth, as he's supposedly an adult by Tears (my alternate ~Queer Take~ is he's a trans man, but that's a topic for another day)), he's perfect for the job. Anyway, one of the students mentions something about an item from a village way off to the east, that can apparently help bring people together, so Link takes it upon himself to get one for her.

To be clear, this isn't actually a capital Q Quest. This is just dialog that plays, and then I was the one that actually took it upon myself to go do this. I was not expecting any significant reward, even before I realized the true extent of what this would entail. I should also note that not all of these screenshots are from the Garland Quest itself. Some are from much earlier in the game, and some I took after the fact, once I realized I was going to write about it. Nothing wrong with a little re-creation to illustrate what happened.

I wasn't sure which eastern village to check first, so naturally the correct one ended up being the third one I went to, which is when I remembered the kid selling ring garlands. A bunch of ruins landed around Kakariko Village during the Upheaval, including a ring shaped one that's still floating, just above the village. As it became something of a landmark in the area, one of the local kids started making ring shaped garlands as souvenirs for passersby. Only five Rupees each, I'd be practically losing money if I didn't buy one at that price!

More to the point, this garland isn't an item that Link can stow away in his inventory. It's an object that can be carried, and attached to things, so I suddenly had a head scratcher on my hands. Kakariko wasn't literally as far away from Gerudo Town as it physically could be on this map, but it was darn close to it. My first thought was to fly it over, but I knew a glider couldn't make it anywhere near far enough, and if it fell apart in midair, I'd most likely lose track of the garland as I plummeted. Then I'd have to start over. Yes, I had my “Flying Platform,” but without proper altitude control, I'd run into trouble trying to get back down by the time I reached the desert.

So, I decided to take it by ground the whole way. I used a slightly modified motorcycle design from a schematic (I replaced the laser on the front with the garland), as I had actually attached a garland to it much, much earlier in the game, and saved the schematic. I thought it looked pretty. My vehicle now freshly adorned with a pretty ring of flowers, off I went on a leisurely drive.

Before I continue, I should say that I had decided upon two rules for Garland Quest, that I would do my absolute best to adhere to. The first is that after my initial motorcycle, I would only use objects and Zonai Devices found in the world to assist. No pulling out capsules from my inventory. Second, that I would not only do everything in my ability to take the starting motorcycle as far as I could, that anything else added on would also continue the journey for as far as possible.

With those rules in mind, I stuck to the roads, and didn't run into any trouble until I reached the canyon that connects Central Hyrule with the Gerudo Desert. Here though, the path got rougher, and the small wheels that had good speeds on good roads weren't really cutting it, so I had to change up my strategy. Luckily, the canyon provided.

That's how I ended up with my motorcycle attached to the top of this monstrosity. For as ridiculous as it looks with all these wheels, the fact that the outer front ones weren't properly aligned actually made it easier. It created an almost walking motion, which allowed it to climb up those “steps” that are like mini-waterfalls. I should also say, again in another attempt to make this harder on myself, I intentionally chose the more difficult path through the canyon. I could have taken the upper route, which is a more consistent path, but has enemies to deal with. As opposed to the way I went, which was partially flooded.

It went well at first. This beast of a machine climbed better than I imagined, and I think could have made it even further if the water didn't get as deep as it did. Unfortunately, I had to leave the beast behind, as buoyant it was not. Instead, the motorcycle was connected to a boat of sorts. To be clear, that lowest section of the “boat,” with the wheels? That broke off almost immediately in the water, but at least the motorcycle (and garland) stayed on, even if they were mostly below the surface.

One problem I had not foreseen, despite going through this canyon before, was that it's only partially flooded, not entirely. Of course that sounds better, right? It would be, if the reason for the partial flooding wasn't the giant piles of debris blocking the path. Sadly I neglected to take any more screenshots in the moment, so I hope this image I took after the fact will suffice. There weren't any more Zonai Devices lying around, and since this was a canyon, my only other option was to turn back, going all the way through the river again, and take the high route this time.

BUT! I had an idea. To use what I call the “Recall Method.” Recall's main use is to send things back along whatever path they took, but clever thinking can bend the rules of what that means. For example, using Ultra-Hand to lift something in the air, and holding it there for a handful of seconds means that when it's Recalled, it'll float in that spot for that same length of time. So while this debris pile was too high to simply lift the vehicle up and over, it wasn't so high that I couldn't use the Recall Method to keep it aloft after I climbed to the top, so I could grab it again, and carry it over.

The rest of the canyon was relatively short, but rough enough terrain that carrying it ended up being more efficient than trying to drive it. At least until reaching the desert sands, which slows down Link too, without sand shoes equipped. Which I had at this point, but the idea of this was to use the vehicle, not carry it, unless there was no other choice.

Next I tried using a sand seal sled to pull the motorcycle, but I'm afraid the weight was a bit too much for the tusked friend, so I was back to assembling my own transport, because I wasn't going to abandon the bike at this point. As sleds work best on sand, I was still going that route, just propelled by machines instead of a blubbery critter. I don't quite remember if I was able to find a loose sled lying around, or if I relented and pulled one out of a capsule. Regardless, the vehicle became a sled, and at this point it was easy (sand) sailing to Gerudo Town.

Upon reaching the entrance to town, it was now finally time to bid farewell to the vehicle, and just take the garland with me. It carried me across a lot of terrain, and I carried it over that big pile of rubble, and though it was sad to say goodbye, it had performed admirably, which is all I can ask of a vehicle. While in town, I lugged the garland by hand, as people tend to freak out when Ultra-Hand is used near them, which is understandable. Now, it was just a matter of waiting for class to start, so I could show the garland to the student in question, and Garland Quest would be complete.

Except...when I talked to her, despite having the garland right there, nothing changed. Same exact dialog. Now, after going through all of that, I wasn't going to give up, so I paused the game, and looked up a guide for this.

It turns out the garland needs to be Fused to a shield or weapon. In other words, I could have just Fused it to my shield back in Kakariko Village, and fast traveled, thus avoiding that entire misadventure...

But if I had done that, I wouldn't have this story to tell, so really, the journey is the reward. Or as I liked to think throughout the game, “half the fun of adventure is not knowing where it'll lead me.” I genuinely don't know if I got that from somewhere else and it just resurfaced in my brain during this game, but it fits.

Also, if anyone is curious, there's no reward for doing this, other than helping out in the class. I don't mind that, but other people reading this might. Just saying.

So now, as a part of me seems determined to cover every last bit of this game worth writing about, here's something that I feel was a big part of makes a lot of Tears' systems work, at least for me. The game's difficulty.

Something that surprised me about Tears as a whole is how difficult it can be, particularly early on, but even fairly far in. For one thing, leaving the tutorial does not give Link the paraglider, and me being the person who gets sidetracked easily, I went around exploring for a couple hours in Hyrule before actually doing the quest that grants the paraglider. During that time, I was genuinely wondering if the devs had just decided to remove it altogether, in an attempt to make players rely more heavily on building vehicles and other contraptions. There was a while where I really thought that they wanted people to pull out a glider Zonai Device to glide instead of just using the paraglider like in Breath of the Wild.

Never mind that, having gone and rewatched the pre-launch trailers, the paraglider is literally in one of them, and I had seen that trailer. I just must have forgotten. But during that time when I was attempting to explore without it, I was running into some trouble trying to fight the enemies I came across. Or, to be brutally honest, a lot of trouble, particularly against the Battle Talus not too far from Lookout Landing (the closest thing to a hub Tears has). A stone goliath, with wooden platforms built atop it for Bokoblins to ride along, shooting arrows at anyone dumb enough to fight them (me). I was really determined to beat that thing, but even after my best attempts to get atop it (including a ramp and possibly the first time I tried the Recall Method), I just kept dying. Eventually I had to give up.

As an side, for anyone looking to fight a Battle Talus on foot, don't forget about Ascend. It's a lot simpler to just pop up through the platform, even if it moving around can make it tricky to line up.

I don't remember if this was the case in BotW, or to what extent it was, but while Tears will let players go deal with the four “regional disturbances” in any order, there is a very strongly suggested order to do them in. Both in terms of dialog and other NPC things to subtly push players along a path, but also in the difficulty of the enemies in the world. That Battle Talus was directly along the path to Death Mountain and the Zora Domain, but I don't recall seeing one on the opposite path the game wants to send Link down.

The enemies more or less on that suggested path (initially northwest toward Rito Village), feel balanced for just starting the game. The ones in basically any other direction? Mini-bosses aside, there may as well be a Lynel waiting around every corner, for how tough the Bokoblins and Moblins are out there. Okay, that's an extreme exaggeration, but when resource strapped, and lacking any sort of high defense armor early on, I was rebuffed in a way that made me decide to just (more or less) go along with the story in the early hours.

Don't get me wrong, the suggested path still allows for tons of exploration, because Hyrule is as massive as ever. Tears is still what BotW was at its heart. A game about cresting hills and having the view take my breath away, then spotting something in the distance that I just need to check out. And I will say, going from the Wii U version of BotW to Tears on the Switch, even if the Switch is an old piece of tech at this point, I do think it's a pretty noticeable difference in the visual fidelity between them. Looks nicer, and even if the framerate isn't perfect, at least now it's usually only Ultra Hand that causes dips, as opposed to BotWii U, which could drop frames if I looked at it funny.

Exploration isn't just for seeing the sights, even if I know I would play a game in a world of this size with zero combat, assuming it was as beautiful and breathtaking. At its core, Tears is a resource management game, and there are a ton of them. Everything from elemental fruits, to enemy horns, ingredients for food, foods for healing and other buffs, resources to upgrade Link's Zonai battery, Zonai capsules, materials to Auto-Build contraptions, and even the orbs for upgrading health and stamina. Some of these things literally do grow on trees, or at least bushes and other plants around the world, but some obviously require fighting enemies, some require delving The Depths to mine, and those orbs require completing shrines.

Tears does feature “one hit protection,” thus meaning that even if an attack would do more damage than Link's max health, if his health is full, it'll instead take him down to a quarter heart. I'm not sure if this is true of all attacks across the game, there may be times when a super overkill hit on Link could be instant death, I don't know. Either way, this does allow for a tiny sliver of help when fighting tough enemies early on, but it's still disheartening to have that keep happening, and run through healing items so quickly. Never mind how awkward it is to pause and heal after every hit.

Thus making those shrines as important as they were in BotW. Four orbs means either another heart, or another chunk of a stamina wheel. Both are important, but as Link's health can be upgraded way more times than his stamina, I ended up maxing stamina much earlier on. That's also one of those things where the stamina appears as a series of circles, and each upgrade is only one arc of a circle, so it bothered me when they weren't complete circles. At least each health upgrade is a full heart, which never disgruntled that part of my brain.

So yes, despite feeling like more health was more important early on (especially when Ascend and Zonai Devices make climbing feel a tad obsolete at times), I still focused more on stamina. Not entirely so, I alternated between the two at times. It's just hard to resist the allure of stamina.

Anyway, while the shrines in BotW initially felt kind of revelatory, eventually they ended up feeling a bit rote. Far too many of them were just a “combat challenge” against a single ostensibly tough enemy, but as I recall (thanks partly to re-reading what I wrote in 2017), only one of those was actually fun. And the game had twenty of them.

I'm happy to say that the “fight a single enemy” shrines are no longer here as filler in Tears, even though there's significantly more shrines. Which isn't to say all of the shrines are great. A lot of them feel like they exist only to be tutorials for different Zonai Devices, or other mechanics. It's nice to have those, but they end up feeling super simple and quick when it's something that I already know. Of course, that's the sort of thing that will vary from person to person. The rote, “oh I already know this” shrines to me may have been “aha!” moments for others, and the reverse is true for ones that I didn't know the trick going in.

There's also quite a lot of shrines that are “Rauru's Blessing,” where inside the shrine is just a chest and the upgrade orb. The idea is that the puzzle is either getting to the shrine itself, or carrying a big crystal to the right spot, which then becomes the shrine. In many cases, these puzzles are really cool, and worth doing even if they didn't come with an orb and chest to loot. But I still wish there were more shrines with more elaborate puzzles within. Most are only two or three puzzles, as opposed to feeling almost like mini-dungeons. There's a few like that, but at least in my memory, I think there were more larger shrines in BotW. Of course, I know as well as anyone how much faith to put in memories, so who knows.

My favorite type of shrine in Tears, however, are the ones that take away all of Link's gear. Weapons, armor, resources, all of it, and task him with defeating enemies using only what can be found in the shrine, and his arm abilities. Health and stamina are unaffected, but that's it. It's all weapons and equipment OSP, or “On Site Procurement,” for the non-Metal Gear-heads out there. These are a great distillation of what makes playing Tears so much fun. Problems can't be solved by just pulling out one of the hundreds of things stuffed into Link's bag, they require carefully studying the environment, and putting some thought into how to tackle the situation.

They tend to be themed as well, which maybe means they're also meant to serve as tutorials of sorts. Or perhaps more accurately tests to see how well players can utilize certain aspects of the game that they might not have otherwise engaged with. Like how to use the autonomous Zonai Devices to aid in combat, or simply dropping heavy things onto enemies to crush them. Regardless, these shrines manage to both feel tightly designed, but also still built to be tackled in different ways, allowing for that freedom that makes these games so much fun.

It's also cool because the devs must have realized how much people liked Eventide Isle in BotW. Eventide was great (and is smartly different in Tears), but it was only one island tucked away deep in a corner of the world that many people may have missed. So instead that fun challenge was sprinkled around in shrines across Hyrule. They're also a bit more reasonably sized than Eventide, as in my blog from 2017 I did note that I had to rush to get through it because of a real world time constraint I found myself in, and Eventide disabled manual saving.

Honestly, I wish there were even more of them, and while writing about them now, I think it'd be nice if there was a simple way to pick them from a menu to replay. I'm pretty sure the shrines reset after leaving, so I could revisit them, but I'd have to look up which ones were which. There's 152 shrines in Tears, and the descriptors alongside the gibberish names don't exactly make it clear what was in the shrine. Anyway, these were consistently really fun challenges, and some of them were difficult enough that they took multiple attempts. Even ones I found pretty late in the game, after I had already upgraded Link's health a lot.

Considering both my general experience with the back half of Tears, and also how fun the OSP shrines are, it kinda got me thinking something that might be controversial...

The thing is, part of me wishes Link's ability to stock up on things was...more limited? Okay, hear me out here. A lot of my time with this game, particularly before I hit the hundred hour mark (halfway in, naturally), it was pretty difficult. Crucially, in a fun way. I know the limits of the weapon and shield inventory combined with how fragile many of them are rubbed a lot of people the wrong way in BotW, but I found that to be a key component of why the combat worked, and went on to not work as well late in the game after I had upgraded my inventories to hold even more.

So, I went into Tears knowing that, and decided to play without upgrading them...that much. I got one melee weapon slot because I wanted the inventory to be an even ten in the menu (not realizing that later the Master Sword would have its own slot, and thus make it an uneven eleven), and I got one or two bow and shield slot upgrades. Mostly just to watch the fun dance animation a couple more times.

Even without upgrading that stuff, the only times I actually found myself low on weapons or shields was after the hardest, most grueling battles in the game. I'm talking stuff like the Lynel coliseum down in The Depths. That encounter, like the first time I ever fought a Lynel in BotW, really stuck with me. I'd done several of these coliseums, that pit Link against increasingly difficult waves of enemies before getting a reward at the end (I think always a special piece of armor from a previous game). They're all just different variants of one enemy type in each coliseum, and until that point I had only seen ones with manageable enemies like Bokoblins, or Moblins.

Luckily the Lynel one “only” sends out a single Lynel at a time, but even in Tears with new enemies like the draconic three headed Gleeoks, and the panic-inducing Gloom hands, Lynels still stand atop the rest as the hardest foes in the game. Gleeoks have an exploitable weak spot, and even though I feel like I never figured out the “intended” way to fight Gloom hands, they can be outsmarted by just climbing up high and throwing bombs down at them. But Lynels? I couldn't find any trick to make them easier. They can still be sneaked up on, and mounted for a handful of free hits to the back, but otherwise Lynels just require a good handle on the core combat, and weapons with high enough damage to actually whittle them down.

Fighting Lynel after Lynel, with no break in between, AND they were Depths Lynels that do Gloom damage. My max health decreased with each hit, it was the most brutal fight I've ever had in a Zelda game. Despite being so stocked on food that at various points I maxed out that part of the inventory, I didn't have nearly enough Gloom healing food to deal with it, so eventually I was down to literally one heart, three or four Lynels into this fight.

There I was, pulse pounding, solely focused on my enemy, dodging or parrying every attack, somehow surviving despite knowing a single hit would be the end. Then with a well timed dodge and a flurry of hits, I dealt the final blow! The rush of relief was incredible, one of the best I'd felt in years. I'd conquered the Lynels! Down to the most skin of my teeth victory in any game I can think of, at least since I beat Sif in Dark Souls with literally seven health left. So I let out a sigh, but then...

Another gate opened, and out ran the actual last Lynel.

I froze as a gut-wrenching chill washed over my body.

The horror I felt as it charged toward me, massive sword already swinging.

It wasn't over yet.

I gave it my all, I really did, but I wasn't able to beat that final Lynel without getting hit. So, as the game was loading, I took a moment to rethink my strategy. I was playing well enough, so all I really needed was to cook some more Gloom healing food, then I'd be all set, only to realize it actually checkpointed at that last Lynel! And for whatever reason loaded me in with more health. Not a ton more, I think it was at most five hearts, but this time I was resolved to win.

After another thrilling duel, victory was mine! The final Lynel was slain.

That was a case where by the end I was down to only a single shield, because though I didn't think it at the time, now I feel like even attempting to block Lynel attacks is a fool's errand. They hit so hard that most shields break after only two or three hits, so the shield should only be an absolute last resort, or used for parrying.

That fight may have drained a lot of my shields and melee weapons, but had I gone in there with like twenty shields or something, that probably wouldn't have been the case. So, in a similar vein, the fact that I can carry hundreds of just about anything else, means that as long as I remember to pick them up along the way, they may was well be infinite.

Take brightbloom seeds as an example. Early on, they're a vital, and rare-seeming resource that are essential for traversing The Depths. At a point I had well over a hundred of them, and another hundred of the giant variant, which meant I realistically didn't need to worry about running out. I could just throw them around willy-nilly. I don't know what the limit on these things should be, and I'm sure for every sicko like me that wants this game to be harder, there's dozens if not hundreds more that would disagree, but it removed tension that I think was part of what made The Depths special.

I know one response would be to simply stop collecting brightbloom seeds, and let me say, I did. At a point I realized I wasn't going to run out, so I stopped picking them up, and guess what? I didn't run out of them! I know there are ways for players to self-impose restrictions on themselves, sort of how I did with my Garland Quest, but I do feel like at least an option to create tighter limits on the inventory would help encourage even more exploration of every last mechanic the game has to offer, and help prevent people from just relying on a few different tactics.

I didn't play the DLC for BotW, but I do know part of it was a harder difficulty mode, though I'm not exactly sure what it did. All I remember is reading that enemies had regenerating health, which seemed like too much to me at the time. And considering that some of the silver variants in Tears already feel a little too healthy (particularly the Bokoblins), I still don't know that it seems like a compelling difficulty modifier to me. It would make me want to avoid enemies more than actually engage with them.

If it were up to me, I'd focus Tears' hard mode more on limiting things like the inventories. At least in terms of balancing for Link himself, I wouldn't begin to know what to do with the enemies. I'd assume that since the game goes up to silver enemies, then gold, or maybe even platinum could be harder still variants? Which of course would also mean more powerful horns to loot from them.

Now, while I sometimes find it difficult to concoct good segues from one topic to another, it's finally time to get to one of the core aspects of every Zelda game: the dungeons. Or to use the term Tears uses for them: Temples. For those who care about spoilers, I'm not going to discuss specific puzzle solutions, but for those who want to experience the game, play the game. I'll be mentioning stuff from the Water, Fire, and Lightning Temples, plus more specific stuff in the lead-ups to the Water and Lightning Temples. I think this game should be experienced on its terms, so don't say I didn't give due warning!

Anyway, dungeons, Temples, Divine Beasts, whatever each game calls them, they've long been one of the pillars of the franchise. Going all the way back to the original on the NES, which is part of why the Divine Beasts in BotW were disappointing. They had good puzzles to solve, but all four of them had the same aesthetic, the same gimmick (being able to move the Divine Beast to alter the level for puzzle solving/traversal), and had a variant of Blight Ganon as the boss at the end. Individually they weren't bad, but they were way too samey, and all too short.

So I'm very happy to say that Tears' Temples address just about all of those issues with the Divine Beasts. They're all unique aesthetically, and each has a bespoke boss that's completely different from the other Temple bosses. Most of them are still shorter than I would like, but Tears has more in the lead up to each Temple that feels like an extension of the Temples themselves. The game just doesn't put the title for the Temple on screen until Link has crossed the threshold.

As an example, let me compare and contrast the Water Temple of Tears with the Vah Ruta Divine Beast from BotW. In BotW, the arc of the Zora Domain section of the game (which is the suggested first Divine Beast) involves finding electric arrows to open a way into the Divine Beast, and then entering it and solving the puzzles to get to the boss, and so on.

In Tears, the Water Temple is actually the third in the suggested path, but the second I did. Partly because Death Mountain is always a little intimidating to me (the name doesn't help), but mainly I felt a need to go check in with the shark BF, Sidon. And for as much as I expected there to be a difficulty jump by doing these “out of order,” now that I had actually opened up a Great Fairy to upgrade my armor a little, I was able to keep going. Eventually I trudged my way through the Mario Sunshine sludge covering the region, and got to the Zora Domain.

I won't detail every last step, as it'd involve spoiling a really cool environmental puzzle, but even just the lead up to the lead up to the Temple feels better and more involved than the more focused sequences in BotW ever did. To be blunt, it's a better overall mix of the more open-ended design of these most recent Zelda games, and the much more linear/entirely scripted style of the older games in the series. When I say “entirely scripted,” I mean that there was always room to explore for heart pieces and other goodies, but at least in the older 3D Zeldas, there was a core story progression that can't be deviated from. At least without using glitches or speedrun strategies to sequence break the game.

Tears is still a massive, very open ended game, but I really enjoyed these more focused parts of the story. Some puzzles to solve, an ancient area to delve into to get an item equivalent to get up to the Temple itself, and some quality time with my favorite fishy friend, Sidon. Once the two of them are ready to ascend up to the Temple, there's an area that actually took me longer to get through than the Temple itself!

Part of me wants to be a stickler and say the Temple doesn't start until it says “Water Temple” on the screen, but that feels like a disservice in this case. Going by that definition, I'd say the Water Temple was one of the weaker ones, as it's pretty small, and even though the puzzles were individually good (one or two definitely took some tinkering to solve), it's still kind of tiny. But if I'm thinking about the lead-up to the Temple, that might be my favorite lead-up in the game. Link and Sidon actually split up during this, as they enter one of the low-gravity areas amongst the skylands. Link can jump higher, things fly further, and of course all the various physics relating to Zonai Devices and other things in the world get floatier too. For a while, it almost turns into a platformer, with Link navigating up and around all these dozens of floating bits of architecture. There's fun encounters with enemies too, though those are all optional, just for getting chests with extra goodies.

Eventually Link and Sidon meet back up at the entrance to the Temple proper, which brings me to my complaint with the Temples. They effectively all follow the same formula. There's a way to the boss locked by four or five things, that Link and his compatriot (a different NPC joins up for each) are free to complete in any order. Which, to be frank, is basically the same as the Divine Beasts.

I'm sure the dungeons in older games are similarly “rote” and “samey” if they're picked apart from a game design perspective, but they at least did a better job of hiding it. Entering a dungeon in one of those games felt like just about anything could be lying in wait. Even if “anything” meant getting about halfway in, then finding an item used to solve the puzzles in the back half as Link searched for the Boss Key.

Don't get me wrong, I really enjoyed all the Temples in Tears. Particularly the Fire Temple, which definitely took me the longest to complete, and to me most closely resembled what I remember loving from dungeons in older games like Wind Waker and Twilight Princess. Its interlocking minecart rails were really fun to traverse, and made the whole thing feel elaborate in a way the other Temples didn't quite, even if they all had their fun gimmicks. It felt almost labyrinthine, and I kind of managed to get a bit lost in it, in a good way. It definitely took me a lot of effort to navigate my way to the last of that Temple's objectives, and it concluded with a really fun boss fight. Not the hardest by any stretch, but it's built around use of a specific ability in the boss room in a way that's both mechanically neat, and also visually cool.

The Lightning Temple I actually thought at first might be a traditionally built dungeon, because it sees Link and Riju (the head of the Gerudo) moving through linear puzzles for a bit before getting to the core of the Temple, at which point it goes to that same flow of activating four things to get to the boss. The Gerudo section of the game does get me thinking about the one more focused sequences of the game that I did think was disappointing.

The short version that doesn't spoil the story is that Link eventually finds himself having to help defend Gerudo Town against waves of mummified Gibdo. The main point of this involves deciding where to place squads of Gerudo soldiers (the tallest buff women in Hyrule) around the town along with their giant cannon, but crucially there aren't enough to fully cover each entrance. So, given that a core component of Tears is building contraptions, my immediate thought was to build defenses. On the suggested path, this is the last of the four “regional disturbances,” and also the last one I did, meaning by now I had a huge assortment of Zonai Devices in capsules, and I wanted to make good use of them.

But, my excitement didn't last long, as my next thought, as I scoped out the town was, “will the game actually keep everything I build in the world, or will it just disappear?” As cool as it would be if the game remembered every little thing Link ever built, obviously it doesn't. How much of that is technical, and how much is design I can't say, though given the Switch I'm inclined to say it's more technical. Anyway, I decided to make a hard save, in case my fear was correct, so I could reload and not waste my Devices on literally nothing. I don't mind throwing away a brightbloom seed when I have hundreds of them, but I do mind throwing something away if I only have ten.

Considering the Gibdo are weak to electricity, my plan was to combine the roomba buddy Zonai Devices with the electric sparking ones. They would chase after the Gibdo, and weaken them, if not outright destroy them. So, I set some up at one entrance to town, some other defenses at another, and some more at the third, but then I went back to check on the first entrance, only to find that my fear was correct: The game didn't remember what I had built, and they were gone.

Disappointed, but not surprised. Instead I reloaded my save and defended the town with the troops I positioned, and my own combat skills. To be clear, this sequence isn't bad by any stretch, and I bet if I had gotten to this part sooner it would have been a tense, really fun struggle to actually manage, but my being overloaded with electric things to fuse to arrows, I didn't even need to rely on Riju's special power. Almost as if this game's lack of resource limits allows some of the challenge to be trivialized!

Again, it feels like a missed opportunity to have a game with such an emphasis on building not have building defenses be a particularly viable approach here. And I don't know why exactly that stuff disappeared. Is there a limit to the physical space between Link and the creations? Did I create too many individual things? I don't know, but I feel like I've been further away than I was here, and still had things persist, so I can't say. Maybe it's a mix of things, or maybe since Gerudo Town is a denser area than the average empty field, it has stricter limits than other areas.

I will say, compared to the terrible forced stealth sequence in the Gerudo section of BotW, this was way better than that. In fact, there weren't any forced stealth sections in Tears! The closest thing I found was an entirely optional side quest to infiltrate the Yiga Clan (yes, the very same place as that infamous stealth bit I always complain about). But rather than sneaking around enemies without being seen, this requires Link to assemble a full set of Yiga Clan clothes, and use them as a disguise to join the Yiga, thus learning their secrets. It's a fun bit, but I wish the Secret Earthquake Technique I learned was actually useful in combat. It doesn't seem to do any meaningful damage, which is a bummer.

I could go on and on, but for the sake of keeping this...from getting too long, there's really only one last thing adjacent to the Temples that I want to say. Which is that, as far as I can tell, all the Temples just exist in the world, and they can be reached prior to doing the quests with their respective NPCs. Can they be completed? No, but there was one in particular that I managed to stumble upon MUCH EARLIER than the story wanted me to, and even if I couldn't do anything with it, it was still a neat thing to find.

Even if I wish Tears remained challenging throughout the later parts of the game, despite it being my own doing by accidentally hoarding items, I still appreciate that as much of it is as challenging as it is. Part of me also wants to lump in fully upgrading the best armor in the game (for at least the chest piece, I dunno that my short-shorts with boots are the most defensive bottoms, though I did fully upgrade them), but I cannot imagine beating Lynels without it. I mean, I can, I have a good imagination and it would simply mean just not getting hit. Armor at least, since there's so much of it, can be easily swapped out to change the difficulty of a situation.

While Tears' Temples still aren't quite up there with the my favorite dungeons in the series (Twilight Princess and Wind Waker), they're still a marked improvement over BotW, and pretty great in their own right. Besides, at a point this sort of comparison is just recency bias vs. nostalgia bias, and what difference does it really make when it's all good?

As always, thanks to anyone who read all the way to the end, and look forward to the finale in my thoughts on Tears of the Kingdom! With the end in sight, I'll be finally tackling the ~Queer Thoughts~ I have with this game's strange fashion choices, deep spoilers on what happened in the narrative, and closing thoughts on the experience as a whole.

Have a good day!

Welcome to Part 2 of my extensive series writing up my many thoughts on The Legend of Zelda: Tears of the Kingdom. A game so vast it filled my head with so many thoughts that one blog ain't enough, and two is too low, so three is...also too low.

Listen, I'm going to be real here. I think I'm a pretty okay writer, but I'm not a great editor. I usually find most of the typos, and I'll re-write sentences and paragraphs to make sure they sound as good as I can get them, but I'm bad at cutting. As such, Part 2 here got way too long, I couldn't cover everything I wanted to in it, thus this is now a four part series. No, this is not an intentional bit where I keep increasing the number of parts as I publish each one. I would've started saying it was a two part series if I had thought of that to begin with.

Believe me when I say I tried my best to keep this to three parts, especially after I thought of that Three Blog joke. Which I couldn't even cut that after this turned into Four Blog!

Anyway, here's a Link to Part 1, in which I described a story of one (mis)adventure I had that encapsulates the overall feelings of adventure, and nostalgia that Tears gave me. Part 3 is currently planned to be some thoughts on the game's overall difficulty, how its Temples compare to the Divine Beasts of Breath of the Wild, and even includes a bonus story about some vehicular hijinks I originally wrote for this part. Part 4 will be when I finally cover the story, and get out my ~Queer Thoughts~ about the game's fashion, how it handles things like a society of all women, and maybe even some musings on why Sidon suddenly has a fiance who was never mentioned in BotW.

So, Part 2 is sort of a comparison of the opening areas of BotW and Tears, my initial idea being to compare and contrast how the two handle their more focused segments. Really it turned into a very deep dive on the new abilities, so buckle up.

Famously, BotW opens the same way as DOOM 2016, with Link's awakening from a long slumber to rejuvenate after a war a century before, and the game gets immediately into the action. Rather than slaying demons, Link goes exploring about a big open area, but that's what the core of BotW is. After talking with an bushy bearded older gentleman, and climbing a tower to reveal the map, Link is free to explore the Great Plateau and complete the shrines to unlock the Sheikah Slate abilities in any order.

Tears, by comparison, opens with a very linear, slow paced sequence of Link and Zelda delving into what lies beneath Hyrule Castle. A very different style of opening from the zero context get straight to it-ness of BotW, but one that does a great job setting the mood, and tone of the main story. It sees the duo uncovering information long since buried, and hidden from the world about what happened millennia ago. About The Imprisoning War, that I think no one in world actually stopped to think about what might have been imprisoned in said war. Of course what they find deep down doesn't end well for Link or Zelda, and Link has another awakening a while later, with some odd changes.

Namely his rad, messed up new arm with the ghost of a goat man living inside it. Here is now the true beginning of Tears, rather than the story prologue that preceded it. With nothing but this new arm, an even more messed up Master Sword, a newly flowing mane of hair, and a skort with some sandals (a look I wish I could pull off), Link leaps from a skyland through the late title card, and the tutorial begins as he descends to the Great Sky Island.

Here's one of the first major differences between these games: Tears is a more focused, “authored” experience, or at least it has more in the way of sequences that are tighter and more focused. The Great Plateau in BotW was pretty wide, and open, as a way of showing players that things don't need to be done in a set order. Of course most people's inclination would be to go to the closest one first, but they don't have to.

And for what BotW is, I think showing that freedom in the order things can be tackled was absolutely the right move. The only downside being it means the Great Plateau isn't designed to make players show they've really learned what the abilities can do, at least outside the shrines themselves. Given the relative simplicity of BotW's abilities (aside from Stasis), but the wild difference in core game design from previous games (especially Skyward Sword), I think the Great Plateau is the tutorial area that game needed.

I wouldn't doubt that there's a way to do Tears' tutorial shrines out of the intended order, but the whole of the Great Sky Island has a much more obvious, and harder to deviate from main path. It leads Link along a path that is much narrower than the Great Plateau, but crucially is wide enough to still keep that sense of exploration, and experimentation along the way.

It also allows for more time to put players in situations where they need to learn how to use the abilities to progress. Given what they are, and the true breadth of what one in particular can do, I think that Great Sky Island being a more focused tutorial was the right move for this game. I don't know how anyone could get to those other shrines without Ultra Hand, for example. I'm sure someone managed it, but I feel like doing so would require such a mastery of the game's other mechanics that it'd likely be on a subsequent playthrough. Just trying to do it for the sake of doing it.

The Great Sky Island doesn't immediately present Link with Ultra Hand, it introduces other things, like the basics of combat, and some other traversal related things before the ghost goat man (Rauru) living in Link's new arm tells him to go complete the shrines, in order to open up the Temple of Time. But as it is the first new ability, it is kind of the most important new thing in the game.

Ultra-Hand (named after one of those odd gadgets Nintendo used to make before they got into video games) is not only the star of the show, it's my new favorite ability across the whole of the franchise. Almost certainly the most versatile, and the one that has the biggest impact on the fundamentals of what this game is in relation to BotW. I already covered it a bit in Part 1, but building ramps and gluing rockets to platforms is barely scratching the surface of what's possible. Ramps/bridges to cross gaps are literally the thing the shrine teaches first, and it's so straightforward the initial “puzzle solved” chime almost feels like an intentional joke.

Tears slowly, but smartly builds up what it expects players to do with Ultra-Hand. Next it's attaching a hook to a platform, and using that to slide along a rail, and then combining logs with a sail to make a rudimentary boat. Now, if stuff like this was the extent of what Ultra-Hand could do, that probably would have been good enough. Maybe not a complete game changer, but still cool. Even just being able to lift and move any non-living/undead thing was a big improvement of BotW's Magnesis, which could only move metal objects.

Instead, some brave soul at Nintendo decided that Tears had to also be Banjo Kazooie Nuts & Bolts (a game I sadly still haven't played, but want to now). Along with basic objects like hunks of wood, metal, and rocks, Ultra-Hand crucially works with Zonai Devices. What are Zonai Devices? Everything ranging from multiple sizes of wheels, to fans, mirrors, gliders, rockets, even autonomous machines whose functionality is affected by what other devices are attached to them.

I didn't count them myself, but The Internet says there's twenty-eight different types of Zonai Devices, and I would've guessed about thirty, so that sounds right. They can be found all across Hyrule, also above and below it, and even come in handy capsules that Link can keep in his inventory. Think the Capsule Corp. tech from Dragonball Z, except orb shaped, and they spew forth from gatcha machines. Literally, they're giant capsule machines that give a random assortment, and each machine only has a small portion of the Zonai Devices, to limit what people have access to. I think doling them out in such a silly fashion is an extremely Nintendo thing to do, particularly with the fun animation, and the huge quantity of capsules that comes spilling out if Link spends the right resource.

In the Great Sky Island, Zonai Devices are introduced alongside a battery pack attached to Link's belt. At first only one of eight visible slots is filled, but it turns out it actually has capacity for sixteen full batteries. Zonai Devices can't run on thin air, and the more in use at once, the faster the drain. They don't all individually drain at the same rate (ie, an auto-cannon uses more juice than a fan), but a lot of fans at once will run that starting battery dry in no time. But again, for the first time Link has to use them, it's just attaching a fan to a log boat to cross a lake. Simple, but effective at teaching the point.

So, assuming Link's battery is upgraded sufficiently, the only real limit to building is the player themselves, and it honestly feels like just about anything is possible. Planes that soar the skies, or mechs covered in cannons and lasers laying waste before them. Rugged vehicles that can cover almost any terrain, or elaborate contraptions designed to keep enemies at bay while Link watches the carnage from the sideline. They don't even need to accomplish any of the goals the game has set before the player, they can just be cute, or fun for the sake of being cute and fun.

Within days of the games release, I saw multiple videos of functionally different contraptions that served the same purpose: Petting the dogs! Nintendo may not have built that into the game, so the engineers out there took it upon themselves to do it on their own, and I salute them for it. Rewatching one of those videos, and it goes to show the ingenuity of it. It's an incredibly simple design, but one that still requires creative use of a big wheel in a way that isn't its primary intended function.

Part of the beauty of the building in Tears is that it is as simple or as complex as each player wants it to be. A basic car requires nothing more than a base to stand on, some wheels, and something to drive it forward. Zonai wheels will even do that on their own, but wooden wagon wheels just roll wherever they're inclined to roll. Of course having a steering stick to give Link control beyond smacking the thing to turn it on and off is handy, but not necessary if it only needs to go in a straight line.

Some of the controls for Ultra-Hand can be a little wonky (I had to invert the horizontal rotation to stop myself from rotating the wrong way every time), and it'd be nice if there was a way for things to be suspended in air while tinkering on them. As is, it can be cumbersome to position something in exactly the right way to attach something else to it, and easy to accidentally have wheels roll down a hill because I carelessly put them to the side while working. That, and while the disconnect functionality being wiggling the stick is undeniably fun, I do think also having a button to do that would have been nice. Faster, if nothing else.

I'll be honest and say that even the wildest stuff I built, or attempted to build didn't come close to a fraction of what other people have. My biggest swing was the time I accidentally built an autonomous, amphibious walking mech. That's wildly outselling what it was, haha, but sometimes I gotta hype myself up a little.

It started with the idea to build a paddle boat, or in other words a boat propelled by big spinning paddles in the water instead of a fan. I can't say exactly why, but I was fascinated with the idea, and actually attempted it a handful of times across the game (including in one shrine where I feel like that was intended, but I can't say for sure). I got the paddles working well enough, even after they desynced, and with a stabilizer the main platform stayed upright in the water (it's easy to guess what happened on previous attempts without it). It was slow, but it worked, and I cracked up when it reached land and the paddles now worked as legs. Though... it may have walked into an explosive barrel. And half of it may have blown off, including Link... But this beautiful creation, it continued to waddle along on its own! Only one leg left, it kept going without me, out into the sea, until it eventually went beyond the range of my battery.

Even if I'm not enough of a robotics engineer to have built my own (Solid Snake voice) Metal Tear, just seeing that other people had was enough to excite me. I was still seeing videos this year of people doing things in BotW that I didn't know were possible, so I can't even imagine what lies in store for the future of Tears. In these first couple of months alone, the sheer breadth of what people have built is astounding. Honestly, just as fun I think are seeing videos of people's attempts at building stuff that failed comically. Whether that's because something physically broke (like they used too powerful a weapon to turn on their flimsy wooden kart), something went wildly out of control (that's happened to me!), or just something in the world happened that they couldn't predict, even failing is almost always fun.

Which goes back to something I said in Part 1 of this series, about the playful nature of all this. No, Tears isn't the first game to have building, and it's far from the deepest or more complex system for it out there. But what it does bring to the table that a lot of other games don't (Nuts & Bolts excluded) is being playful with it. One Zonai Device in particular is this big roomba-looking thing on treads, which goes after and attacks enemies. Not super useful without offensive Devices attached, but even without them it can do a decent job at being a distraction from Link. That's all irrelevant though, as the reason I bring this up now: It has a little tail at its back, and it wags. Like a happy little doggy. But the tail goes straight when it detects enemies, because then it's serious time.

I know the teams at Nintendo have effectively infinite resources and time to build its flagship games, and that's how they can afford to make a game so massive, yet also maintain such playful little details like that. But it really does go such a long way to fill the game with personality on top of the fantastic game design.

For the most part, Tears doesn't actually require using Ultra-Hand that much. It's entirely possible to spend the bulk of the game traveling on foot, and that in fact is how I spent the majority of my time. But, there are two repeated activities across Hyrule in particular that are tailor built for it, and I think both embody the playful spirit of this game super well. Those are helping Addison hold his increasingly lopsided signs for Hudson Construction steady, and helping tired Koroks with very big backpacks catch up with their friends. A lot of Korok activities use Ultra-Hand (like removing those rocks from the holes that had Koroks pop out in BotW, and putting them on little trees now), but aiding the backpackers is easily my favorite.

Both of these are inherently silly. Addison works for a construction company, yet can't figure out that he needs to support the base of the sign before raising the whole thing. And the visual of these little plant buddies wiggling while wearing backpacks several times their size is just adorable. They also both do a great job of testing players' use of Ultra-Hand, and how to best use the environment around them. Figuring out how to use the objects at (ultra) hand to hold those signs up was always fun, and I got significantly better at it the more I did. It's as simple as learning how physics work!

And for the Koroks, well I took it upon myself to deliver each one to their friend as safely and comfortably as I could. Yes, some mishaps happened along the way a few times. For example, the very last one I did before finishing the game...I somehow managed to fall off the glider midway into the journey. I'm still not sure how. Maybe it was poor rocket placement? Anyway, the glider managed to land almost exactly where I wanted it to, and the Korok got to their friend completely fine. I just took an extra minute to catch up.

Which is more than I can say for a lot of the Koroks out on the internet. Truly the most disappointing thing associated with this game is how many people wanted to hurt and torment these fun little forest friends. I genuinely don't understand why anyone would take pleasure in harming a defenseless being like that. Especially when the Koroks can be ignored if people don't like them. Just keep walking! I still think it's a little heartless to not help someone in need, but at least it isn't actively cruel like gluing them to the front of a wheel. It makes me sad just thinking about it.

Anyway, that is an exhaustive look at Ultra-Hand, yet still there's somehow so much more to it, not even taking into account Auto-Build! For the sake of not making this solely about Ultra-Hand, I'll say it's very useful, because as the name implies, it can automatically build things. Saved favorites, a recent history of anything built, and even schematics found across the game. Plenty of things I might not have thought of are already there, and are really handy. The one that's three springs attached to a stake (to keep the whole thing in one spot) was great for getting up places quickly. There's another that's two cannons on another stake, which saved me a lot of time and resources by blasting my way through those really thick patches of tough rocks underground. Some are silly, like a handful of bombs glued together, but there's also a variety of vehicles ready to go.

Unlike the other abilities, Auto-Build is optional, and I could very easily see a decent number of people missing it. I won't spoil where it's at, but I will say one of the main quests does point toward it, so just keep an eye out. I happened upon it fairly early on, and it became a vital part of my tool set for the rest of the game.

Not content to only let Link build things in the environment, Nintendo also decided to let players Fuse things to weapons and shields, as that's what the second main ability is. Fuse. And arrows too, though not the bows themselves, for whatever reason. A lot of the weapon Fusing just buffs damage, but it can have more fundamental changes. A sword can become a hammer with a blunt object Fused on (for smashing rocks and armor), and a blunt stick can become a blade when Fused with a sharp object. Or it can shoot out fireballs with a ruby attached, a freezing sword with an ice Lizalfos horn, a whip with a tail attached, it can even shoot cannonballs with the right Zonai Device.

Shields too. Need to get up high? Try attaching a rocket, or even a spring, and combine that with a shield “surf.” A mirror on the shield will reflect light and blind enemies, and an elemental gem will use whatever element as a counter-attack when struck. Though, if I'm being honest, I didn't Fuse things to shields as often as I probably should have, because I care too much about aesthetics, and having all this stuff jutting out on a shield on Link's back looked silly. I appreciate it, but when the bulk of my time is still spent slowly traversing and exploring the world, where I'm looking at the back of whatever shield I have equipped, it can be a little distracting when there's an electric unicorn head staring back at me.

Fusing is usually pretty good for increasing the durability of things, but not always. Zonai Devices Fused to shields tend to drain the durability much faster than usual, but that's the tradeoff for having something powerful attached to a shield. I can see why using an active flamethrower while blocking against enemy damage is the sort of thing that could get over-powered quickly, so it needs to be balanced some way. But it led to me not Fusing things to shields very often. Weapons though, I always Fused, particularly the Zonai weapons, which get an extra boost when Fused with Zonai Construct horns.

In BotW, learning the right rhythm of how to use the weapons, and take weapons from enemies was really important, especially early on. If Link's weapon was about to break, throwing it at an enemy to make them drop theirs, and taking it before they could recover was key. That's all still here, but now enemies all have a horn (or more for the toughest ones) that drops on death, and that adds an extra layer to the combat. Most weapons dropped by enemies are pretty weak on their own, even when they're from higher tier, stronger foes. But those foes always have better horns than their weaker counterparts, and sometimes that extra damage buff mid-fight is exactly what's needed to swing the tide. Of course, enemies tend to drop a bunch of other stuff as well, and when the good horn is buried under a pile of giant toenails and meat, there isn't always time to actually Fuse the right thing on, because the enemies aren't going to wait!

There is also another layer to this, as the horns have different lengths, and ranges, which don't always work well with each weapon type. A short horn might be fine on a one handed sword or the tip of a spear, but I found it made two handed heavy greatswords all but unusable when their range was reduced to that of a dagger, even if the damage went way up. The greatsword is my least favorite of the three broad weapon types (and to be frank I wish they had added more), even if the damage output was really high. The big spin is fun, especially after Link has the stamina to keep it going, but I just found the regular swords and spears to be more versatile.

Something I really appreciate about the weapon Fusing is how varied it is in terms of aesthetics. When Fusing enemy horns to weapons, it replaces the blade (or equivalent surface for blunt weapons) with the horn in a way that looks very clean, and intentionally designed. Conversely, weapons can be Fused to other weapons, and then that's just a sword glued to the end of another sword. Game play wise, that's pretty useful, because it can drastically extend a weapon's range. Two spears Fused together creates a ton of space between Link and the enemies. But it still looks very silly. At least it's in a way that I typically enjoyed. A little less so when they clip through the ground, while on Link's back, but I've accepted at this point that's an issue games can never truly solve. Alas.

Again, in terms of game balance, weapons can only have one thing Fused at a time, but at least they can be un-Fused in the menu (thus destroying whatever was Fused on, even if it's another weapon). There is an NPC that will safely dismantle Fused weapons/shields, but I never found much need of that. Weapons were disposable in BotW, and I figured the Fused on items were supposed to be here too. But I wouldn't blame anyone who didn't want to lose their hard earned Silver Maned Lynel horn, when that buff is massive. Though I kind of feel like it's not worth the resources required to actually take down the strongest of the Lynels, when my battles typically resulted in multiple broken weapons and shields. Worth it for the thrill of the fight, of course.

By now I've more or less lost track of where I was at in relation to this ostensibly being me describing the Great Sky Island as a tutorial. Fuse is great, and the thing that differentiates Tears' combat and resource management from BotW's, but the majority of the tutorial is more about learning how to properly use Ultra-Hand to navigate places. At least up until the cold zone, where the game teaches the importance of eating spicy food to stay warm.

At some point along the way was one of my favorite examples of the game throwing a wrench at me, to make me use some creative thinking to get through. First it introduced minecarts and the rails they can traverse. Naturally on their own they're at the whim of gravity, and physics, but with a fan attached, upward inclines aren't a problem any more. What is a problem though, is when one of the rails is just completely broken. Particularly when I didn't notice until I was already on my way up, only to have the cart fall, and well things didn't go much better for Link.

In retrospect, the answer I came to was fairly simple (using a big hook with the cart suspended below), but so early in the game, I had to do some tinkering to get there. It didn't help that part of me wanted to attempt something comically over-designed before going for the simple solution. And speaking of those minecarts, I didn't realize this until later, but a minecart Fused onto a shield effectively turns the shield into a skateboard, and they lock right onto the rails, which is rad. I don't know how useful it is, because again, I doubt it maintains enough momentum to go uphill indefinitely, but downhill? It's RAD.

At some point along the way, I encountered my first bomb flowers, which finally drove home that the remote bombs from BotW were not returning. At first I was disappointed, and in all honesty part of me does miss the hijinks that were possible with remotely detonating bombs. But when I first tried throwing a bomb to fight a Like-Like, and blew myself up in the process, I had a feeling that the flowers were actually an upgrade, at least in terms of damage. Plus, even if they are technically limited (though I usually had around fifty or sixty, despite using them frequently), not having to wait for a cooldown means a lot more frequent explosions.

Being able to Fuse them to arrows was the most use I got out of them. Yes, I did eventually figure out the range on throwing them, so I wasn't blowing myself up...as often, but shooting a bomb arrow into a distant group of enemies was the ideal tactic. The only issue being the interface for Fusing to arrows is...awkward at best, and frustratingly slow at worst. Holding up on the d-pad to bring up the menu is fine, the issue is that all Fusable objects are listed in a single row, which can only be navigated in linear order.

Thankfully there is at least an option to sort, and eventually the “most used” option filtered the, well, things I most used to the front. Lightbloom seeds, fire fruit, bombs, etc. But it wasn't really useful when I found myself in need of something I hadn't used yet, and had to scroll through dozens of items to get there. It's one of those things where on principle, I appreciate that I can Fuse a full bottle of milk to an arrow, but in practice, I don't understand why I would ever want to do that, and wish there was a better way to handle this menu. I know food can be used to distract enemies, but I'm not using milk for that.

Do separate rows. Have one for the elemental items, one for enemy horns, one for foods, etc. Or let me set my favorites, because I dunno where the homing eyes would fit into any of that, and those were very useful against flying enemies. I used a lot of them battling Gleeoks late in the game.

And while I'm griping about this, the controls for throwing are just...odd? It's still R to throw weapons, like in BotW, but throwing things from the inventory (like an ice fruit to freeze water, or fire fruit to light a campfire) isn't so simple. First Link needs to enter the throwing stance by holding R. Then to access the menu, hold up on the d-pad to select the item to throw (using the same cumbersome menu). Finally after finding the right item, release up to exit the menu, and release R to throw.

I got used to all that after a while, the thing that gets me is that despite the fact that I can hold up anywhere to bring up that same menu, and I can drop things from my inventory there, I can't then hold R to enter the throwing stance. I need to ready my weapon to throw first, even though I think it'd make more sense to select the item from the inventory first. At the very least I feel like it should be doable from either order, but again, I got used to it. Eventually.

Anyway, the next ability, and simplest one, is Ascend. It allows Link to jump and swim up through just about any ceiling, so long as it's relatively flat-ish on the top and bottom, and within range. The ceiling can be extremely thick, just not too high relative to Link's position. Simple though it may be, in terms of number of times I used it, it might actually be the ability I used the most across the game. Of course I'd have to consider situations in which I used Ultra-Hand like fifty times in the process of building one thing as “one” instance of using Ultra-Hand, but that's just nitpicking.

Ascend is obviously useful for getting out of places like caves quickly, but it's also great for getting into places without any other obvious entrance. Whether it's being used to take very clearly intended shortcuts up places, or finding little gaps where it works that I'm sure the devs did know about, but it still feels like getting one over on the level design, it's just extremely useful across the whole game.

Whenever an ability can fundamentally change how I perceive spaces and places in games, I think that's super cool. Now instead of looking for a flat cliff face to climb, or a series of places to stop to regain stamina along a climb, trying to find a little alcove that has enough room to Ascend is sometimes the fastest way to get up somewhere high. Or, if there aren't any built into the environment, combining Ascend with Ultra Hand or Auto-Build could help Link get up part of the way. A big board of wood attached to a stake stuck into a cliff face is a perfect surface to Ascend through. One of the Auto-Build schematics I found is just a series of stone blocks positioned to serve as a stable, very tall platform to Ascend up, and that's something the devs included, not even a cheese strat. All it takes is either going to the right place to get the schematic, or having the ingenuity to build it from scratch.

In the Great Sky Island, after attaining Ascend is where it introduces two new concepts: The glider Zonai Device, and pants. In all seriousness, I do think it's funny that it's not until this point there's pants, and even then they're hidden enough that I know at least one person who missed them. Anyway, the only thing I have to say about the gliders is that, across the whole of the game, it is a little frustrating that they eventually time out and just disintegrate. Meaning they can't be used to fly across the whole of Hyrule, which I get.

Early on, they don't want people to fly over everything. And I agree, people shouldn't just skip the bulk of the game, at least on a first playthrough. I love watching speedruns, and I haven't seen any for Tears yet, so I can only imagine what they do. But after spending literal hundreds of hours traversing Hyrule, I wish there was a way to just make the gliders last. Without them I needed to resort to using other things to make my long lasting flying machines, which meant they didn't really control as well. No real control over elevation, they would just constantly go up. Useful for when I want to do that, but a bit annoying otherwise.

Anyway, there's one last ability, and that's Recall. One of the most interesting, but underutilized in the game, Recall sends objects back in time, moving along whatever path they had taken. On paper it's super cool, but in practice, outside of specific puzzles designed around it, most of my Recall use came from recovering after making mistakes. Something rolled down a hill, fell off a cliff, or otherwise went flying off somewhere I didn't want it to, Recall would bring it right back. Thankfully it pauses time while aiming, because sometimes I was scrambling to recall it in time, and even with that, only just barely managed. But outside of that, there weren't many uses I had for it. It's also useful for finding things that flew out of sight, as sometimes the arrow showing its path will extend into view, even if the object is out somewhere beyond that.

If I have any complaints about these abilities broadly, it's that I wish they were more useful in combat. Aside from Fuse, obviously. I wish I could use Ultra-Hand to rip weapons out of enemy hands, or tear the Yiga clan vehicles to pieces. Recall can be used to send objects flying back at enemies, but even an explosive barreling back to a Big Boss Bokoblin never did as much damage as I felt like it should. At least sending boulders flying back at the Talus mini-bosses would stun them long enough to climb on them and hit their weak spot.

There's one mini-boss type, the Flux Construct, that's made out of a bunch of cubes that shift into different arrangements with different attacks. My favorite tactic for fighting them is to use Ultra Hand and pull out the core, thus destabilizing the whole thing. Or, if the core is hard to get at, because it shifts around, just keep pulling out other cubes until the core is reachable, or the whole thing falls apart. They're super cool, maybe my new favorite enemy across the whole game. But as far as I know, they're also the only one where Ultra Hand is useful when fighting.

In terms of the Great Sky Island, this is the part where Link leaps off, falling to the mainland below, without a paraglider yet, and into...an adventure too great for me to detail here.

This part went on kinda long, and I don't really know if anyone actually likes reading my long explanations of game mechanics, so for anyone who read this far without just skimming to the end, thank you. I write these blogs because otherwise all the words clog up my head, and I've got no other way to drain them out, but if people like reading them, then I'm glad. Until next time, have a good day!