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So I got these weird Japanese (?) treats....

By natetodamax October 5, 2010 35 Comments

A friend of ours that delivers Chinese food to us recently took a trip to Asia, and when he stopped in Japan he picked up some of these..... things. I don't even know what they are. Frankly, the guy is so unpredictable that they might not even be from Japan. Only evidence that I have that it came from there is one of those wetnap things (the little moist towels) that has Japanese characters all over it.

So anyway, I decided to taste these anomalies and write about them. There are five different treats, and there's at least three of each. Here's an overview:

Oh yeah, webcam quality!

As you can see, three of the treats have already been eaten. I ate one of the brown ones (next to the tan-ish ones on the right). Let's get to it! (And yes, I had to take pictures with my webcam because our camera died and I couldn't locate any batteries!)

Mystery Treat #1

Hamburger bun?

It looks innocent on the outside, but the inside is a different story
Texture: I'm not sure what I just ate. The outside is covered in sesame seeds, or something that resembles sesame seeds. This little addition made it seem like I was chewing on a piece of Earth.
Flavor: At first I thought I tasted a little hint of some kind of peanut, then all taste immediately went away, and then I thought I tasted some sort of chocolate... I don't even know.
Would I Eat Again?: Nope, partly because I have no clue what I just put into my mouth.

Mystery Treat #2

If you look closely, you can see an evil face staring back

Narsty
Texture: This one's got a really soft feel to it, but it's just creepy once you start chewing on it
Flavor: This one is definitely some kind of chocolate, or at least I think it is. Not only is there a weird aftertaste, but the aftertaste seems to physically stick to the insides of my mouth.
Would I Eat Again?: The taste wasn't that bad, but just like the last one it's the putty-like material that is rather disturbing.

Mystery Treat #3

Little pipsqueek

Looks like some kinda deep sea creature. Rawr?
Texture: There isn't really anything too significant about the texture of this tiny thing. Despite it's small size, it was extremely thick and I didn't feel like I was making any progress as I chewed it.
Flavor: Very similar to #2, and I think there are small chocolate flakes sprinkled on top of it. As I'm typing this, I'm suddenly getting a very small taste of peanuts. Bizarre!
Would I Eat Again?: It wasn't awful, but it was...... boring. I can't imagine having a craving for these things, or rushing to the store to buy some.

Mystery Treat #4

Looks much bigger in person

Looks strangely similar to the last one...
Texture: I was really afraid of eating this one. I'm not a fan of treats that have strange things in the middle, and this one looked like it was about to burst at any moment. Thankfully, it turned out to be a weird mess of putty-like material that was soft like #2. After eating it I grabbed another one and ripped it open. Turns out there is a filling in it. I could easily make out the outer shell-like layer and the inside. But I only taste one thing when I was eating it, so it's possible that the filling is the same thing as the outer layer, just a slightly different color.
Flavor: Again, a little chocolately, but the taste got drowned by the sheer size of the thing. The mass of the treat itself was enough to make me forget about the flavor and worry more about getting it down to an acceptable size for swallowing.
Would I Eat Again?: Frankly, no. Just the sight of the thing freaks me out.

Mystery Treat #5

What is even....

Volcanic rock?
Texture: I was excited to try this one. It looks like death. Much like the first one, the texture was like dirt and gravel due to the weird black sesame seed things all over the outside.
Flavor: Do the Japanese know what makes candy good? It's the flavor, not the texture! Come on! This really didn't taste like anything. I got a hint of chocolate but that disappeared pretty quick because it felt like a sesame seed apocalypse in my mouth.
Would I Eat Again?: How about no? I like my candy to taste like something. I don't like my candy to feel like it's invading my mouth with little particles.

Anyway

There you have it. I don't "explore" very often when it comes to eating, so these monstrosities were easily the strangest things I've ever eaten. And if you're reading this, it means I survived! Fantastic! Better yet, has anyone seen these before? I would surely love to know the identity of these things that have invaded my stomach.

Also, I just opened up what I thought was a little wetnap package, and this was inside:

WHAT IS THAT?

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