Something went wrong. Try again later


This user has not updated recently.

26 339 13 10
Forum Posts Wiki Points Following Followers

PLATFORMANCE: Castle Pain -- A Fan-Fictional Review

The clink and clatter of deadly machinery echoed around the solitary knight as he paused to rest. His entanglement with the prehistoric sea-dwelling creature had taken much longer than expected. He shook out as much water from his armor as he could before continuing down the stone corridor. 
The sound of his footfalls and the light metallic whispers of his chain mail could not cover the sounds of grinding stone and crackling flames. He knew not how long he had journeyed through the castle. More dangers lay ahead, but he dared not glance back for fear of the nameless, voiceless creature that slowly advanced; the route he traveled to come here was no longer safe. 
He suddenly stopped, realizing that he had come upon a dead end. Gingerly he felt along the cracks in the ancient stone walls, hoping to find an escape. These walls, however, yielded no secret passages. He turned to face the way he had entered the corridor, but a faint bluish glow had appeared at the far end that added a sense of urgency to his predicament. Was it him, or did this are feel suddenly colder? A few seconds of confusion led to an important discovery: a fresh breath of wind was spiraling downward, as the ceiling of this area was no longer in sight! 
Our hero jumped desperately for an outcropping of stone, laboriously struggling against the weight of his own armor. With great effort, he heaved himself over the ledge, sliding over the damp and moldy stone. However as he tried to stand and gain his footing, the slick surface betrayed him and he plummeted back to the floor of the corridor. 
This time he knew his time at run out. A glowing, almost shapeless form was gliding eerily forward, hollow eyes seeking but not seeing. He tried in futile desperation to climb back up the ledge, but now his armor was covered in the same sludge that foiled his first attempt. As the shape grew brighter his surroundings grew more dim, and he could see nothing else but the dead soul approaching. His vision dimmed but his heart remained strong; he knew that this would not be the end. For if he died here, the princess would be forever trapped, and even beyond death he knew it was his destiny to save her. 
Summary: You will die a lot. The game is designed to kill you, over and over again. It will probably take you a few tries before completing the level, let alone getting an award. To prevent you from spending too much time in one place, an instant death ghost will follow your trail at varying speeds (depending on the difficulty). The game offers a good variation of obstacles, but the physics of jumping can feel a little slippery. 
Conclusion: It's only 80 MS points and it offers some nostalgic 8-bit graphics and music that hearken back to the SNES era. For the amount of game you get, the price is good.