Because arbitrary lists are fun. Because 10 wasn't enough to cover an entire decade. Because I never bought a PS3. And because I don't think I even bought ten games this year alone anyway.
I think "Home Movies" was an awesome TV show and I'm not afraid to say it. Loosely scripted dialogue and limited animation rule. As long as they're goofy enough.
Okay, I'm sure you have like ten thousand other blogs with everyone else's thoughts on E3 so far and all that to get to, so I'll keep this quick so you can leave a two-word comment and dispensary:
First of all, as a person who does about 90% of their gaming on handhelds these days, I'm dissapointed that the only thing I've seen from the DS so far is a new Golden Sun (which is cool) and a Mario & Luigi sequel that everyone already knew about. So is there anything more to reveal? Maybe a new Wario Land or something? DSi Ware would get me more excited if I could actually get the goddman Wi-Fi to work.
Metroid M has, uh.... potential. I guess. I freaked out when I heard Samus talking, I really did. Not because I like it either. Now I'm kind of used to it, but I still don't like it. Now I'm just wary that Team Ninja is going to turn Metroid into a Ninja Gaiden clone or a boring corridor crawl or something. But Nintendo has surprised me with the Metroid process before, so I'll give them the benefit of the doubt.
Mario Galaxy 2 is another surprise because it doesn't look that different from the first Mario Galaxy. That being said, the trailer alone suggests that they've come up with a few wacky new twists on the original Mario Galaxy, and I always figured that there was plenty more that they could have done with what they made out of the first game. I could've sworn that Yoshi was in fact in that first game, but my memory has been swiss cheesed by years of video games. I mean, by... it's a mystery. I can't wait for this one because I'm sure it'll be fun. Nintendo has always been good at making little improvements on all of their direct sequels.
And that's it. More portalbe stuff Nintendo! I'd have even more to say, but the fact is that I just don't play video games as much anymore so I've pretty much just regressed to only paying attention to what Nintendo puts out. Maybe if my Xbox magically fixed itself or I found myself with the money for a PS3.... yeah.
Okay, there's a simple formula here. I know that lots of you on the Internet are grappling with this, so I'll teach you this handy trick to figure out just whether or not you should trust a video game console maker to take all of your money and leave you broke and homeless with a bunch of trash.
To determine whether or not a company is evil, simply check to see if you can replace a letter in their name with a dollar sign. For example:
"Sony" becomes "$ony."
And that's how you know they're evil. An honest corporation wouldn't drop you a hint like that. We all know that covert international supervillans love to drop hints like that because they're all arrogant and enjoy teasing us as we thrash about looking for direction in the hopeless mess they're leading us deeper and deeper into. "But wait!" you say, "there's other console makers out there!" And to that I would say that you are right. But if we just give one of them the 'ol test, we would find that:
"Microsoft" becomes "Micro$oft."
Wuh-oh, looks like someone's a bit untrustworthy after all! Good thing we have our little test here! Billy gets it right:
Billy said:
"lol u bought urself a $ony suckstation, good luck getting anything good for that lmao"
To which Mandy might reply:
Mandy said:
"lol owned."
Or at least she might if there were any girls on the Internet! "But wait, there's one more!" you might say as I get annoyed for not figuring it out yourself. Well, if we just run this little test all on our own, we find out that:
"Nintendo" doesn't really become anything if you try to add a dollar sign. "Nin$do"? Nobody's going to know what you're talking about if you do that! You might as well mash your hand into the keyboard and post that on the Internet instead because you're just going to get the same response. It just plain doesn't work. Nobody is going to understand what you are doing and you're going to wind up having to live with the shame. So as you can see, if we run the test properly we discover by the scientific method that Nintendo is in fact not evil because we cannot mock their names by inserting dollar signs into it. A great day for the Internet. Always remember this as you journey forth across the vast cyber-frontier.
You've done it Nintendo, you bastards. You've actually done it. You've convinced me that I need to buy a third model of the same basic hardware. Even though this model can't play my collection of Game Boy Advance games. How did you pull that off? I know I'm rather fanboyish, but it's not like I didn't think about this. Downloadable games? Dammit Nintendo. I would've probably just bought it to mess around with the camera because I'm weird like that, but downloading games? Come on. There's no way I should want that, and yet to have them all in my own hands.... seems so.... desireable.
And of course there is the matter of a new Wario Ware game. You jerks. Making me want stuff. Especially Wario stuff.
Yes, yes I did. I was not expecting to finish the whole thing in a day, and yet I did. I even went against my own better judgment and published it tonight instead of waiting a day to make sure I was happy with it.
As for the logic of making it a Wario Land guide, I just figured that Wario Land was a simple enough game to make my first guide about, and I figured that the site could probably use something like this. I wish I could've given it more pictures to make it a little clearer, but I have no clue as to how to take Game Boy Screenshots.
I missed plenty of games from last year, mostly because of time constraints. I don't really have the time to play as many games as I used to. Plus my 360 is broken, so.... it's not like I can play them anyway. I'll hunt them down and play them as soon as I have the time and a machine that actually works.
On the other hand, I'm still playing Brawl so I guess I am really playing some of the games I picked up last year.
As for this year, the only games that I'm looking forward to right now are Retro Game Challenge and Mario and Luigi 3, so I guess I have to wait a while to pick up anything new anyway.
Okay so we all know that in these modern ages of commercials and endless promos and all the WHINING that SPOILED ATHLETES do because they aren't forced to live in a giant pile of manure like pro athletes were forced to do in the 1800's when people really cared that there's plenty of time that must be killed during your average sports broadcast. It varies from sport to sport yes, but there's still plenty of time to kill folks. So you as a producer may wish to kill fifteen seconds or so by focusing one of your cameras on any of the following:
1. Celebrities. 2. People who look like celebrities. 3. People with signs. Especially with signs directed towards your TV station. 4. Stray wildlife. 5. Fat people attempting to dance. 6. Kids with facepaint. 7. Kids sleeping (only during the last half hour of the broadcast). 8. Youth groups. 9. Other cameramen (wacky!) 10. Local landmarks visible from whatever venue you're in. 11. The game itself (only if you're desperate).
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