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Ramyun

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Sharing my GIANT BURGER with GIANTBOMB!!!!

Here's the thing. My friend planned out this wild plan to make a giant burger from scratch using flour and yeast and all that jazz. The plan was instead of splitting the dough in pieces like in the recipes, we would use the whole dough to make one huge giant bun. Naturally of course we would also make our giant patty with a whole bunch of mince as well. Here's how it went down:
 
We first made our dough t hrough the recipe of course having little to no knowledge on how to actually make bread except from what we see on TV

That is one big patty.
That is one big patty.
  . After a few scares with the dough starting to crack being to dry and then the dough becoming a bit sticky as it was too wet from some water we put in, we managed to find a nice mid range consistency. One friend in our group used to live in a bread shop which his parents run so we thought he was the most qualified to knead . This worked well as he was also very impartial to using a lot of aggressive force toward the dough and so beat it into shape. To which we jeered and cheered him on.  

The patty came next and it wasn't too hard in making and frying it until it came down to flpping the damn thing. Now as most of you burger afficionados know, the structural integrity of the patty was an absolutely crucial aspect of any burger, just as vital as the choice of sauce in a burger. Through masterful technique we managed to use four people (with four spatulas) to manoeuvre the patty onto the other side. This was a breakthrough moment in our journey.    
 
 Finished product.
 Finished product.

Everything else seemed to all fit into place after that with burger bun cooking perfectly and the rest being just cutting up vegetables. However, when it came to eating the thing, the distr ibution system used was not unilke that of a cake cutting system to minimise disruption of the burger stack. I gotta tell you, that was one tasty burger, I wish I had Sprite to wash it down with (guess the reference?). So here I am now, a wiser and more accomplished young man ready to head out into the future to tackle almost anything in my path. Burger King, eat your heart out!! We are the masters of your domain now!!!
 
 

 
 My friend holding the burger; also works as a scale image.
 My friend holding the burger; also works as a scale image.
46 Comments

46 Comments

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Ramyun

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Edited By Ramyun

Here's the thing. My friend planned out this wild plan to make a giant burger from scratch using flour and yeast and all that jazz. The plan was instead of splitting the dough in pieces like in the recipes, we would use the whole dough to make one huge giant bun. Naturally of course we would also make our giant patty with a whole bunch of mince as well. Here's how it went down:
 
We first made our dough t hrough the recipe of course having little to no knowledge on how to actually make bread except from what we see on TV

That is one big patty.
That is one big patty.
  . After a few scares with the dough starting to crack being to dry and then the dough becoming a bit sticky as it was too wet from some water we put in, we managed to find a nice mid range consistency. One friend in our group used to live in a bread shop which his parents run so we thought he was the most qualified to knead . This worked well as he was also very impartial to using a lot of aggressive force toward the dough and so beat it into shape. To which we jeered and cheered him on.  

The patty came next and it wasn't too hard in making and frying it until it came down to flpping the damn thing. Now as most of you burger afficionados know, the structural integrity of the patty was an absolutely crucial aspect of any burger, just as vital as the choice of sauce in a burger. Through masterful technique we managed to use four people (with four spatulas) to manoeuvre the patty onto the other side. This was a breakthrough moment in our journey.    
 
 Finished product.
 Finished product.

Everything else seemed to all fit into place after that with burger bun cooking perfectly and the rest being just cutting up vegetables. However, when it came to eating the thing, the distr ibution system used was not unilke that of a cake cutting system to minimise disruption of the burger stack. I gotta tell you, that was one tasty burger, I wish I had Sprite to wash it down with (guess the reference?). So here I am now, a wiser and more accomplished young man ready to head out into the future to tackle almost anything in my path. Burger King, eat your heart out!! We are the masters of your domain now!!!
 
 

 
 My friend holding the burger; also works as a scale image.
 My friend holding the burger; also works as a scale image.
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Claude

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Edited By Claude

That's a big burger alright. Looks pretty damn tasty too.

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InfiniteGeass

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Edited By InfiniteGeass

I want to Om nom nom that burger.

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jonnyboy

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Edited By jonnyboy

This truly is the age of giant burgers.

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PistolPackinPoet

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Edited By PistolPackinPoet

yum.

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essaregee

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Edited By essaregee

OMG YOR FRIEND IZ CHINESE?!

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Linkyshinks

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Edited By Linkyshinks

That is a great looking burger.  O'boy I'm hungry now...

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ImperiousRix

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Edited By ImperiousRix

Aw man, my parents just went out to get Taco Bell and now all I can think about is burgers.

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Ramyun

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Edited By Ramyun
The burger was actually smaller than what we set out for it to be which wqas a slight disappointment since it didn't rise as much when we let it rest. But we still ended up being satisfied because that patty was actually pretty damn thick. If you guys want to check out more photos of the burger masterpiece, look in my images section.
@essaregee:
I'm also Chinese, mate; what are the chances???
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Butchio

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Edited By Butchio

wtf, if you eat that you will die

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GunnBjorn

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Edited By GunnBjorn

What was the cooking time of the patty?
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Robitt

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Edited By Robitt

Did you actually eat it? If so, how?

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Linkyshinks

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Edited By Linkyshinks

Was it cooked all the way through when you ate it?  I ask because with a burger that size it needs to be cooked at a lower heat and for longer, so it cooks through to the centre. If I were cooking it, I would fry both sides lightly to seal in the moisture and flavour, then finish it off slowly and gently in the oven.

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Ramyun

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Edited By Ramyun
@GunnBjorn:@Linkyshinks: For the patty we poked holes into the meat so that it would cook faster, although we still ended up cooking it for a while. Also, no sharp pains in the stomach or bloody diarrhea so it's all good! :)
@Robitt: As I pointed out in the blog, we cut it like a cake, so it was slightly awkward but it still worked. Obviously there is no way anyone could wrap their lips around that as a whole, so a knife and fork did just fine.
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Meowayne

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Edited By Meowayne
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Robitt

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Edited By Robitt
@Ramyun: Oh right, missed that part. To distracted by the pictures. OM NOM NOM.
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Marz

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Edited By Marz

my arteries feel clogged just looking at that burger.
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gamer_152

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Edited By gamer_152  Moderator

That's quite the tale you have there. You know I could really go for a giant hamburger right about now.

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SBYM

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Edited By SBYM

Ham-boo-ar-gar! Also? Pulp Fiction.

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Ramyun

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Edited By Ramyun
@SBYM: You sir, are the winner!!!!
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Linkyshinks

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Edited By Linkyshinks

I hate this site when I'm hungry, you get inundated with fast food talk and imagery all the time. Fuck this, I'm off out to get burger lol -seriously!

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SBYM

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Edited By SBYM
@Ramyun: Danke.
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bicycleham

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Edited By bicycleham

That is one big kahuna burger. :P

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Evilsbane

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Edited By Evilsbane

Faith in humanity RESTORED!

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Ramyun

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Edited By Ramyun

Now if only we can make a giant hotdog......

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jimbo_n

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Edited By jimbo_n

Oh man, that a respectable burger. I could probably eat the whole thing right now. Alright thats it, im off for lunch !

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natetodamax

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Edited By natetodamax

Meh.

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ht101

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Edited By ht101

That burger looks pretty good.  I just had dinner so not that hungry but it looks really good.

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nanikore

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Edited By nanikore
@jonnyboy said:
" This truly is the age of giant burgers. "
Truly.
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ShaunassNZ

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Edited By ShaunassNZ

Hey friend... um come over to my house with that THING!!!!

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i69edUrGpa

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Edited By i69edUrGpa

That's boss

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TheSmilingDude

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Edited By TheSmilingDude

This is an awesome burger.

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eroticfishcake

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Edited By eroticfishcake

That burger actually looks healthier in comparison to other giant burgers that I've seen before.
 
Still looks kinda awful though...

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CaptainTightPants

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 You call it a hamburger and later in life your body will know it as heart attack. 
Just joking that sure is a big hamburger though. 

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Ramyun

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Edited By Ramyun

Well in my opinion we put less cheese in it than we should have so it was less unhealthy than I thought it would be.

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eroticfishcake

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Edited By eroticfishcake

Doesn't change the fact there's a lot of meat in there though. Then again If I were you I'll still eat it just for the sake of it. Speaking of which, how did you guys eat it? Knives and forks or the proper way (hands that is).

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jonnyboy

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Edited By jonnyboy

This reminded me of a website I used to go to called Pimpmysnack.com (now called Pimpthatsnack.com). It's British so some of you might not regognise the brands but it's basically people making huge versions of regular confectionary and posting the results. Here's a few of my favorites...

 KING ROLO
 KING ROLO


 GIANT PARTY RING
 GIANT PARTY RING

And possibly my favorite.
 MASSIVE FUCK OFF FRUIT PASTEL ICE LOLLY
 MASSIVE FUCK OFF FRUIT PASTEL ICE LOLLY
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eroticfishcake

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Edited By eroticfishcake
@jonnyboy: No love for the pimped Jaffa Cake? Or even Creme Egg that came with it's own foil? (as horrible as it may taste).
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Emandudeguyperson

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Some dude (I forgot who) on GiantBomb made a thread about his huge-ass burger that had pepperoni pizzas for patties.

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Ramyun

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Edited By Ramyun
@eroticfishcake: Yeah as I said before, we ate it with knives and forks and distributed the burger to everyone in sectors like a cake.
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jonnyboy

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Edited By jonnyboy
@eroticfishcake said:
" @jonnyboy: No love for the pimped Jaffa Cake? Or even Creme Egg that came with it's own foil? (as horrible as it may taste). "
I love all of them on there, even tried a few of them (including the Jaffa cake). It's waaaaay harder than it looks.
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eroticfishcake

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Edited By eroticfishcake
@Ramyun: Pah! Be a man! Use chopsticks instead! I'm pretty sure you know how to use them at least, no?
 
@jonnyboy: You've just shattered my dreams now. I was so looking forward to a massive Jaffa Cake. Also, that site looks totally different from when I last visited it. While we're on the topic of foods, have you been to this site? If tea and biscuits are your thing then yes it is!
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jonnyboy

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Edited By jonnyboy
@eroticfishcake: I'd love to have nothing to do with that site, but I'm reading the front page and I'm strangely interested. What the hell is wrong with me? Also if that site had an in depth interview with Monkey, I'm in.
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Ramyun

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Edited By Ramyun
@eroticfishcake: Hahaha I only like using chopsticks for certain occasions. Like, I can't accept eating pasta using chopsticks!! I have to do the spaghetti twirl with the fork!!
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teh_destroyer

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Edited By teh_destroyer

I would eat that even if it meant a heart attack after words.

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Hector

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Edited By Hector

I'm getting hungry now.