Disclaimers: This one's gonna be pretty rough around the edges - more rambly than usual. I haven't been writing lately, and my memory is kinda borked. I almost forgot to include Parks and Rec in the TV section (there's a TV section) because my sense of when things happened is all messed up. In 2016, I intend to keep a list of EVERYTHING I CONSUME, and blog about things more! The whole "finding a job" thing has been coming first, though.

Also, if you're a pal who just came to look at my dumb movies +more list, it'll be below the deep dive on my GOTY. Just CTRL+F "The Jimmys 2K15" The length of different sections is so uneven because I wrote this out of order, and at some point realized it was going to take forever and no one would actually read it. Please, enjoy!

This was originally be a more melancholic, introspective thing, like the stuff I wrote on Mass Effect and Mario Maker Mornings. In 2015, life came at me harder than any other year previous. Family health problems, the realities of finding work, the realization that Sonic the Hedgehog may have never been technically "good..."

But man, I've had enough of that stuff right now. 2015? I'll admit I got monked. But 2016? You're 'bout to get dunked on. That I'm listening to Adele right now may change that, of course. And exploring my feelings about my game of the year is sure to get existential. But overall, this is just about the cool stuff that I experienced this year.

I also need to give a special shout out to Austin Walker. The moment he was hired, I could feel it was important. Maybe it's because I took a look at some stuff, realized I had read a lot of it independently without knowing it was all written by the same brilliant critic. And now he'd be writing here? Awesome. But it's more than just his amazing articulation (seriously he's so god damn good it's inspiring/annoying to someone who wants to write good stuff forever). It's the warmth, the passion, the cool robots and cyberpunk games that I may have never heard of otherwise. It's the invitation he extends to us to share our experiences - I think there's a large section of folks who wanted someone hired who could bring a really different point of view to the table. Here on Giant Bomb, we all feel a personal connection to the staff (sometimes bordering on the creepy!) because it feels like we're being invited to sit on the couch with 'em and bullshit on whatever games are on the screen right now. When Austin was hired, it felt like the start of something new. What none of us expected was that he wasn't just here to share his insight, to bullshit and laugh along the rest of the crew - he was inviting us to let our voices be heard, too. To tell us our experiences, just like his and everyone else's, matter. It's maybe what hit home most about Patrick's time on the site - listen to people who have experiences different from your own, because it can make such a difference in your life. What Austin Walker did was really show us that those people - they're right here. They're us. And we've all got something valuable to say.

ALSO PROFESSOR KILLAH WAS ROBBED AT THE RUMBLE, AND HE WILL BE BACK #REALNAMESNOGIMMICKS

Let's kick it off with my GOTY (you can just skip this deep dive and look at the fun list, including some stuff on music and movies titled The Jimmys 2K15) -

MASSIVE CHALICE

Massive Chalice is an amazing game. It is also the only game that I technically finished that was released this year. I figured it deserved some recognition (though it's also a game that encourages multiple playthroughs on different difficulties), I've also been meaning to write a blog/review of it anyway, so why not on the Grandest Stage of Them All? (If WWE can declare Wrestlemania that, I can decide that about my own awards list) But before we go any further, dig out some nice headphones and put on the amazing soundtrack to this game. Got it? Good. Now we're ready to save our nation. Last warning - this gets pretty long-winded. Skip to the Jimmys 2K15 if you just want the good stuff.

Existential Urgency and You

In Massive Chalice, you're the leader of a nation under supernatural siege. The power of the Chalice (inhabited by two spirits who guide you through the game) gives you immortal life and the power needed to save your nation. This actually serves as narrative justification in a lot of places for gameplay mechanics (you're using your vision from the throne to view the battles, or something), which I didn't think I'd dig, but I quickly grew to appreciate the thought that went into it. There's lot of nice touches like that - the choice to separate the goofy/serious family names (I chose serious, natch. ALLabout that immersion, son), the choice to pick which families you start out with (I sought out House Walker, also natch. No Wisdom Forbidden, son). One "nice touch" that I soured on was the adoption mechanic. I was super happy to see I could set up same sex couples in my game and that they'd be able to raise kids together - positive representation of adoption in media is something I get SUPER PASSIONATE ABOUT. But the adoption mechanic took up precious research time, making adoption not a viable option and having kids as a same sex couple not really possible if you want to have enough people to save your nation. Hell, maybe it's a brilliant narrative on the reality of how difficult it can be to go through the adoption process (like when Modern Family did that and it was super exhausting and resonant?). All I'd want is for the game to offer adoption in the same process as birthing, so you don't have to sacrifice the all-important building so my lady and her lady can raise a kid. I dunno - that's probably my only complaint.

And look, I'm someone who will sacrifice optimal mechanics for immersion in a heartbeat. I'm someone who looks for my own little gameplay loops, like hunting in the fields of Skyrim instead of doing anything the game wants me to do. But Massive Chalice's greatest strength is forcing you think long and hard about what choices you need to make to save your nation - but not too long, of course. The Cadence are at our doorstep, and time wears away just as much as it builds up. Sometimes you're close to the brink of destruction, with nothing but a squad of geriatric hunters past their prime as your first and last line of defense against the relentless (and brilliantly designed) monsters determined to destroy you. They've got to bide their time, bait their enemies out one by one. You've got to use an alchemist (alchemists, in my experience, are there to die very quickly and do next to nothing to help you. Your mileage may vary).

Even when you're cranking out a steady stream of semi-healthy soldiers, with a standard who can pass along precious traits (Young at Heart is god-tier), you know it could all come crashing down. Old age will take that standard and her hardened experience with her. The Cadence could attack two valuable strongholds at once, forcing you to make an impossible sacrifice. I had my own strategies, conditions that I could satisfy to feel slightly at ease - two solid standards, a boatload of hunters, all the sickly youngsters in the Sagewright's Guild cutting down my research time. But I never truly felt safe - I always knew it wouldn't last. In the game's final cutscene, the Chalice reveals that your enemies will always come back, that all you've done is allow the people to live without fear for a while longer. When the Chalice does its best to destroy your enemies, you will die, as will the peace you forged, eventually. I could tell this was supposed to come as a surprise, but it hadn't really occurred to me that my victory would be absolute. All you can do is the best you can, for as many people as possible.

This ever-creeping, occasionally-charging sense of doom was oddly satisfying. The struggle is never over. Death is an old friend who, despite your fiercest wishes, insists on staying in touch. This is the kind of game I like to play, apparently. The slow-burning urgency wasn't the only thing I found immensely enjoyable, though it may have earned Massive Chalice this top spot even I had played every release from 2015 I wanted to for being the type of challenging gameplay I could get behind. This game also satisfied my intense desire to constantly be writing the stories of my characters as I play my games.

Emergent Narrative and Me

I've actually tried writing on Massive Chalice before. It was fiction written by me, a fan of the game, inspired by the events that transpired in my experiences. WHAT DO YOU MEAN THAT'S JUST FAN FICTION? Look, I don't actually have anything smart to say about fan fiction, except that this felt different because all these things happened. All I was doing was recording the history. The concept of emergent gameplay is one better explained by someone who actually knows what that is. The concept of emergent narrative is one that certainly exists, but I'm also sort of making up my own definition right now to fit my needs and articulate something about how/why I play most games the way I do. I wasn't able to come up with a satisfying conclusion to that story, but I was pretty happy with my opener - "It was Walker family tradition to die a widow." That was simply a statement of fact.

One of the reasons I come back to many of the same games like Skyrim and Dragon Age is because it lets me create a character and tell their story, all in someone else's playground with a unique set of tools and rules. Even in games where creation and narrative choice aren't the focus, I find my mind filling in the blanks between character's actions and motivations, narrating the moments that the game leaves up to the players. In Massive Chalice, that process felt facilitated by the game in a natural, albeit procedural way. Sometimes, when a character accomplishes enough on the battlefield, they'll gain a nickname that'll go down in history. That's something I probably would have done my own, but the game made it a part of the world. Families, each with their own sigil and battlecry, will become known for certain characteristics - Walkers are often asthmatic, but they've also produced some of the best hunters and brightest leaders. Mechanics like this come together in surprising - for example, in the final battle, when one of your heroes falls, one from your past will spawn to continue the fight. I didn't learn this until I was already close to victory, since I had a well-trained vanguard and a solid technique that mostly involved Hunters picking off everyone from afar. The only hero who returned was one of my best hunters from recent history (whose nickname I sadly forget), and I let him land the final blow. It was a cool moment that only could have happened in that specific way, with that person, in this lone playthrough. Just thinking about it makes me want to start up another run.

A combination of bloodlines, relics, and mere luck wrote a riveting saga about Kordesh and Khalan Sterling, a brother and sister from the largest family in the nation who both showed promise, inherited a weapon passed down from their family, and were dealt very different fates. Both were cocky and fought well, but Kahlan was made to marry a lord to carry on the tradition of hunters that had been fading in recent years. Kordesh fell protecting the Walker's keep while his sister had to sit beside a man 14 years her elder while The Web Spinner sat unused. In her 50s, however, her partner dies and she's allowed to return to the battlefield, still in her prime, to seek the same glory her brother fell to. The work I had to put into this story was minimal! I just had to watch it unfold, guiding things forward whenever I could, though some things - mostly loss - are inevitable in this game. That sort of prose just rises naturally from the game, from all the beautiful and tragic moving pieces coming together to tell these family's - this nation's - stories. For me, it's a dream come true.

There's a lot about this game I didn't touch on, in terms of mechanics and themes and production (some AMAZING sound design in this game). All I'm trying to say is, in a year full of struggles that seem to have no end in sight, it was nice to take part in one where I could see the bigger picture without losing sight of what matters - the people, and their stories.

The Jimmys 2K15

Games I Need to Play More Of

From 2015

• Sentris - a brilliant mentor that guides you along the process of making music while giving you creative freedom.
• Nuclear Throne - yeah, the game feels great, but what I love most is the art direction. Melting FOR (a very short) LIFE
• Pillars of Eternity - I got to the big city and was overwhelmed, but I have immense respect for the world and combat.
• Neon Struct - stylish stealth and a cyberpunk world from the maker of Eldritch. 'nuff said.

Not 2015

• Mafia II - Atmosphere: The Video Game. I just want to wonder the world forever, but the checkpoint system hinders that.
• Mass Effect 3 - I got the Citadel DLC, and now I'm scared to go see my friends before I'm past the point of no return.
• Dragon Age: Inquisition - Also, I'm just going to play this game forever. It's everything I wanted and more.
• The Lord of the Rings: War in the North - Almost forgot I started this. Feels like Tolkien's Middle-Earth in a real way.

Games I Finished From Other Years

Shadowrun Returns and Shadowrun Dragonfall - I love just about everything about these games. I loved my characters - the troll street sam Crooked-Smile Buddha, the idealistic decker/rigger Brain_Powered (named after a mech manga I loved in my youth) - I loved the combat, I loved the world. I've heard the first one described as skippable, and I'll admit it has some third act problems, but what a great, silly introduction into the Shadowrun setting. Hong Kong is the top of my steam wishlist, and once I get my act together as a fledgling game master, Shadowun is definitely something I try to convince my friends to play.

Sleeping Dogs? - There's a question mark there because I don't remember if I beat this in 2014 or 2015. I DID finally track down the unmarked missions (people are just randomly locked in trunks in Hong Kong, I guess?) a few weeks ago. Either way, this game is SO DOPE. The city feels alive, the characters feel real. Sure, there's a detachment between the characters we're presented and the fact that I am just constantly popping fools off. It's something that bothers me about games in a way I really need to articulate in a much longer form. But the point is, I became attached to the characters in a way I was NOT expecting. Plus, it just feels damn good to play. I wrote down little bits of philosophy from the game that I'll delve into some day, but there's none more important than this - a man who never eats pork bun is never a whole man.

I have a nagging feeling there's more I'm leaving off here, and there's certainly tons of games I played a bit this year and enjoyed. But I think that's enough about games for now - time for THE REAL SHOW.

Movies

Creed - I left the movie theater after Creed feeling alive in a way I hadn't in weeks, months, too long. My feelings on the movie are obviously very personal, but it's also just an incredibly fresh movie. Michael B. Jordan is THE actor of the coming years if he isn't already, and in Ryan Coogler, he's found a collaborator he can always return to to make pure gold. Amazing cinematography, powerhouse performances all around, and a dope soundtrack to boot.

Mr. Holmes - The thing that I feel Mr. Holmes and Creed did so well is take their canons seriously, even when their canons are full of goofy stuff. Think about it - Apollo Creed's death and legacy cast a shadow over his son's journey, but his death also came at the hands of a caricature of Commie Culture after James Brown belted out "Living in America." Sherlock Holmes has some RIDICULOUS stories, and is possibly the most overused character in literary history. But these movies have a healthy reverence for their history that still asks "what would happen next?" What happens when Sherlock starts to lose everything that defined him? What happens is one of the most poignant performances of the year that is a must-watch if you're a fan of the world's greatest private detective.

I saw and loved Inside Out, but there's no way to talk about it without being a bummer, and I'm adopting the MBMBAM rules of NO BUMMERS. Also, listen to MBMBAM.

Star Wars - I'm not gonna say too much here, because I'm still trying to parse my feelings on it. Not being a "Star Wars person," the nostalgia didn't phase me. What had me cheering internally for pretty much the whole movie and every day since is just how awesome and attractive all these new cast members are. John Boyega - actually the coolest human being on earth. Oscar Isaac - the handsomest space pilot in the known universe, and if he turns out to be gay I will actually die of joy. Daisy Ridley - how can you look so flawless while scavenging on a dessert planet/smashing everyone's expectations of what a Star Wars protagonist needs to be? Also HOW ARE YOU AND JOHN BOYEGA ONLY 23. They were pretty much as old as I am when they made this movie. I can't tell if that's super inspiring or super discouraging - you know what, it's probably both.

I had a section planned for my disappointment with Ant Man and Age of Ultron, but this thing's all about THE DOPE SHIT (MOSTLY) FROM 2015. I also just found out that Ryan Coogler (see above) will be directing Black Panther, and nothing has ever been so perfect.

Music

Leon Bridges - Coming Home is the Album of the Year. I want to spin it right now, except I've still got Adele and the last category of the GOTY podcasts to listen to. It's throwback soul released in 2015, it's got groove and grace and some smooth ass tenor sax. It's everything I didn't know I needed in music. He just happened to be included on the highlights episode of the Late Late Show With James Corden, and I thank the universe for coming together to bring Leon Bridge's music in my life. Smooth Sailin' is probably my favorite track.

Adele and Foo Fighters are two of my favorite artists who suddenly put out music this year with amazing first tracks - I'm not figuring out the capitalization on that one. You've probably had to read it twice already. The point is, I loved Hello and Saint Cecilia, and then everything else on the album/ep just kinda...washed over me, I guess? Not in a bad way, but nothing quite blew me away. Can I just listen to Coming Home again? This is weirdly the only negative part of this monstrous list, but I also couldn't ignore these releases. I'm sure one day I'll go back for more and realize everything I was missing was there all along.

Kool AD - OK and DVS - DVTV are Two Free Rap Releases That I Loved - I don't listen to nearly as much rap as I want. The same could be said about just about everything in my life, but when I haven't technically finished the mixtape I'm rewarding here...hey, in my defense, OK has 100 tracks. It's a great thing to just put on in the background and occasionally get yanked into thanks some insanely clever punchline, some absurd rhyme, some weird beat. DVS is not just the king of twitter - he spits rhymes. I'm not just trying to sound cool - listen to the way he raps, and tell me you don't feel that raw, wild energy pulsing through you. I mean, if you don't, that's cool. It just works for me.

Retro Promenade is Best Music to Listen To while Playing a Game Austin Walker Recommended - Retro Promenade puts out a lot of cool, free "retro" music that skirts the line between homage and genuinely unique hot bangers. San Dingo stands out to me as the best artist, Air Games '84 as the coolest high-concept future sports single, and Metropolis was my favorite concept album.

Bradio is the Japanese Band I'm Most Glad my Friend Linked Me - just watch this video for Golden Liar, and try not to tap your feet. In fact, I give it my "Most Lockdown Song of the Year" award. What more do you need?

Booyah Base from Splatoon (and the wonderful podcast Match 3) isthe Best Song to Have on Loop, From Now to the End of All Things - I didn't even know it was from Splatoon until someone in MMM chat told me! I just thought it was a cool beat someone from the show had found. Now that I have it in my life, I never want it to go. It's the perfect thing to put on in the background when you need to drown everything else out and get to work - a warning, though. You WILL find yourself bouncing and grooving to the beat. It's inevitable.

I almost forgot! Young youtuber Patrick Klepek put out a hot banger of his own, Mr. Wiggles. And if you don't beat the Armageddan under these arbitrary time limits, that's ok. That level is BS, and you're still sincerely an inspiration.

Last but not least (because I need to actually finish this thing), I've been listening to Could Have Been Me by The Struts non-stop since it was used for NXT: Takeover London (it's in a video I link below).

Best TV of 2015

The Kansas City Royals Post-Season - God, I love watching baseball. It's probably the only sport that I can sit down and watch that isn't a fake competitive spectacle where guys and gals run around in underwear making dumb faces (more on wrestling later). I happened to tune into the ACLS to see these guys playing some goddamn baseball. Edinson Volquez was shutting down fool after fool. I dug around, read a bit about their comebacks and close calls, and figured they'd be my team to root for. Then the world series turned out to be against the Mets, a team my New York cousins have been loyal fans to. I would have been happy either way, but the narrative around the Royals became infectious. Late night games, the tragic timing of Volquez's father passing away, and (though I didn't read this piece by Chris Plante until recently) a city, like so many others, due for a win. One day I'm just gonna have a TV dedicated to constantly streaming baseball, so I can just sit down and get swept up in the emergent narratives (and ALL THOSE STATISTICS) while, on the other tv, some goofballs pretend to punch each other.

WRESTLING wins the MOST WRESTLING AWARD - Wrestling is always there, and always will be. Sure, watching main roster WWE can be a drag (inexplicable booking, commentary that sounds bored to tears, and the fact that it's so gd long). But the wrestlers themselves - I can't even list all the ones I love. We'd be here all day. What I'll say is this - I felt a visceral sense of relief when Sami Zayn returned. I'm invested in these heroes and villains, duking it out across the world for nothing more than our entertainment. I've heard people, sometimes even friends, mock wrestling without realizing just how much it can mean to me. Yeah, it's dumb as hell sometimes. But I can count on it - or, I should say, I can count on all those wrestlers I love - to be there for me. This is verging on being a bummer, so let's just stop and appreciate this Highlights of the NXT UK Tour video that I totally just created a dailymotion account to upload.

Killjoys - Fun sci-fi with bounty hunters, a cool lady lead, some bad ass/resident asshole named Fancy Lee, a dope talking ship, sometimes Luke McFarlane is the handsomest man on tv, and enough fan support to get it another season. SyFy is apparently entering a new renaissance of Good Genre Shows, and I just want you all to know it started with Killjoys. Some might want to write it off as a mere conversion of genre tropes, but I think the writing/production adds a real depth to the universe that makes it something special. Give it a shot.

Parks and Recreation - I watched most of Parks and Recreation in 2015. I also re-watched a good chunk in 2015, because my family keeps recording it (even though it's on Netflix), and I can't come up with a compelling reason to not just watch it again. Every character is likable, with their own journey to trace. The relationships and big "moments," happen organically, and hit you hard. Plus, Craig joins the pantheon of Characters That I Relate To Too Much, alongside Max from Happy Endings, Gil from Marry Me, and the OG, George from Seinfeld. By extension, I need to give Billy on the Street a shoutout. It's BiIly Eichner, occasionally joined by celebrities, running New York City and shouting at people about pop culture. It also is the only TV show to tackle the real issues behind masculinity.

Supergirl - Sometimes, adult life is hard. Sometimes, you have to choose between watching RAW and Supergirl. I chose Supergirl every damn time. Melissa Benoist is perfect, obviously, but the supporting cast is just as charming. James Olsen is one fine dude, Alex is the underrated heart of the show, Cat Grant is the best worst-but-actually-best-boss in recent tv history, and that Hank Henshaw twist had me hurling excited expletives at the television. It's silly and bright and optimistic, and that's exactly what we need out of a superhero show right now.

That Season of Wayward Pines I've Had In The DVR Forever - This show was a fun watch - Matt Dillon was made to be a grizzled investigator, and it made me really want to play Deadly Premonition. It opens up with a really strong oppressive and enigmatic atmosphere. It's impossible to live up to that, so it doesn't try to. They dive into what's going on without dragging it out, and the problem turns more into "who knows what's really going on, should we tell them what's going on, and what's the best way to deal with this." It sets up a potential follow-up in a really cool way, but a network would never jump for it. I guess I should actually watch Twin Peaks, huh.

Shannara Chronicles is starting on January 5th at 10pm on MTV. I'm gonna watch my childhood come to life and cry. At least put it on your tv so it can get good ratings and another season.

THE JIMMYS - BACK TO VIDEO GAMES

I'm basically stealing this section from Xavier Woods, but with a twist - my Best Game of All Time is the SUPERIOR cart racer:

CRASH

TEAM

RACING

It's the game I play the most with friends and family when we're all in the same place, at the same time, and I can think of nothing else that brings me greater joy (and y'know, frustration when I lose again and have to see someone else's victory dance).

Like I said, I scrapped my original sappy ending (unsurprisingly, it had to do with Mass Effect), so I'll end it with this quote from Shadowrun Returns to ring in the new year.

The lesson is this - the game is rigged. The cards are stacked. The dice are loaded. It's the same as it always was. Every cycle. People in power exert power. Little people cower in their homes, think what they're told to think, and buy whatever product will help them forget how horrible their lives are for another day. And that's why we don't *play* their fragging game. We don't swallow their drek sandwich and politely ask for another. It's why we run the shadows. That's where real life is, kiddo.

As always, if you've read this far, you are a certified g and a bonafide stud. If you're a stranger, thanks for reading. Let me know what you thought. If you're a friend, thanks for sticking around. You'll be hearing from me soon - just as soon as I do absolutely every single thing there is to do in Dragon Age: Inquisition... See you on the other side.

Someday, somewhere!