No one man should have all those consoles AKA RIP PS3 (2008-2011)

I'm sure I've mentioned this before somewhere in the forums but, just to make sure, I have never actually bought a PS3 in my life. It was definitely not by choice, but I thought the 360 was the only console that fit my lifestyle. Most of my buddies had a 360, you see. And not one night has passed where I didn't see at least one of them playing Call of Duty or Halo or whatever dudebro stuff they were into.

Sending over a chat invite was simple. I didn't have to be in the same game as they were to provide some light chat over Viva Pinata or Mass Effect from my end, everything was just fine while they were trashtalking the other team, even though it was really me getting the misdirected abuse. Until one day, my sister messaged me that I'll get a PS3 soon.

I was like what? Why?

Obviously, my textual surprise sounds like I was totally against getting a PS3 and at the time, I'll admit, there weren't any games I really wanted that were exclusively on the PS3. Except maybe Metal Gear Solid 4, which I have completed since then, but that's a different story.

Apparently, my sister's boyfriend (now ex) asked for a PS3 for his birthday and eventually got what he wanted during their short relationship. Great for him, I suppose, until my sister threatened to get legal up in that bitch. Weeks later, and without legal action, the PS3 was finally in my hands. There were a few save files remaining from the likes of MotorStorm and skate., I believe, that I deleted immediately once I hooked it up to a non-HD TV.

Among my little group of friends, I was the only person who had one and I had absolutely no idea what I wanted to do with it.


Fast-forward three years, everything that shouldn't have happened has been undone on this very day -- my 60GB (upgraded to 160GB) backward-compatible PS3 can no longer turn on, LA Noire up its guts, and its power light bleeds red. (And if it isn't really dead, well, there was my PS3 origin story).

With Nintendo pulling out a new console next year and hopefully Microsoft's and Sony's the next, I'll be much, much more careful with what consoles I choose to get. Sure, it was nice knowing that I was able to experience the best games each console had to offer this generation, but with the games I go for now? I avoid playing any game's multiplayer, so online functionality isn't a problem or hindrance in my purchase decisions.

Waggle, Kinect, and the Move are without a doubt great for kids and I'm not going to knock either of them if they continue this trend of motion controls as I do have little ones running about in my household occasionally and they provide a handy distraction. Using a chatpad or whatever silly proprietary contraption I had to use to send messages through these consoles are now replaced by my smart phone and twitter. If anything, console exclusives will be my sole deciding factor.

However, just knowing that Nintendo will still pull out Mario games and Microsoft more Halo games (franchises of which I've grown tired of, but still hold a great deal of respect for and have their most recent entries still visited by me), Sony is sounding much more appealing to me and that's only because I don't know what they're planning for come the next generation. Favorite franchises of theirs that have grown on me feel like they've only just grasped me. Uncharted? Why the fuck not? Yakuza? THE TITS. PixelJunk? FUCK YEAH. Veronica Belmont>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>Dead puppies>>>Jessica Chobot.

Anyways, I have a dead PS3. I'm pretty bummed about it. Now check out this sweet puppy.

A puppy and a fly trap that's PACKED with dead flies
A puppy and a fly trap that's PACKED with dead flies