Grrr.... I try to play one campaign of L4D while my wife gets little one to sleep.  She comes down, and five minutes later I'm getting lectured about how she doesn't like this and violent games cause aggressive behaviour and they should all be banned... Then I get presented with various research papers, and lists of incidents that have been linked.... 
 
I have to say in some individuals it probably does have an effect - but then would those people be pre-disposed to violent films or books instead?  Or going drinking and picking a fight?  I agree with restricting violent game access to children, but ... I find the idea that all violent games should be banned is absurd... 
 
The trouble is I find it very hard to find research that backs this up.  Generally most research is looking for problems - so they ARE biased... But at the same time... If there are causal links there are causal links.  Personally I think people have killing and murdering each other for centuries longer than games have been about... You could argue that violent games are a representation of a darker side of human nature.  Even Chess, a simple game of chess is simulating battle - pieces taking each other are effectively pretending to kill enemy troops....  Personally I don't think you can change human nature.  Prohibition didn't work in the states, and people all over the world take drugs - whether it's legal to or not - even at the risk of a death penalty in some cases.  This is because it's human nature to seek out experiences, to be taken away from where you are to somewhere else.   
 
We can all enjoy a nice round of 'Top Spin' but you will never get the adrenaline rush, the sheer excitement in playing a round of tennis - than using weapons to fight for survival.  Left 4 Dead, Gears of War..  You have to perform some fairly depraved acts to suceed at this games.... 
 
I guess the debate will rage on - and I will continue to be infuriated... Tomorrow night I'll opt for a quiet life and have a game of FIFA, just have to make sure I don't do any 'rough' tackles when my wife is watching :(    

Seems like this is something you should say to your wife.

Something to think about - is it really the violent game that's ticking her off, or is it that you're up playing a video game while she goes to bed by herself?  Obviously this isn't something you can outright ask her (unless your communication is that good), but it's something to consider. 
 
Edit - I say this as a chick who's gotten ticked at a husband for staying up till all hours shooting people in CoD while I bring the dogs to bed to keep me warm :P

All I can say is that we can only base what we create on our own experiences... so it's not like video games invented violence. But violent acts across history have inspired video games to be certain.  
 
I think the people seriously affected by violent games were predisposed to unstable or generally violent behaviour. Or were pent up nerds. Either way, being a normal person seems to be the counter-argument for all this. Don't be a murdering jack-ass. 

So does your wife think you'll turn into a psychopathic killer if you play violent games...?  I can't help but wonder how you two didn't have this discussion long before you got married and had children... Like did you start playing video games all of a sudden recently or were you doing so in secret before? o.O
 
I'm sure one could find an equal number of papers and studies trying to conclude the same things with books or movies. Catcher in the Rye clearly causes people to become killers because the guy who shot John Lennon read it!  Correlation does not imply causation. 
 
And yep, banning them won't solve anything. As you've said violence didn't suddenly begin in the 20th century. It's been a part of our species since the dawn of our existence and will remain until our twilight. 

Ah well, her opinion is her opinion. Not really much that can be done about that even if everyone here are on your side and will feel she's wrong. That said, hopefully the two of you can work it out somehow.

Dude your wife sucks :P ..... after saying that I agree it is human nature to be violent we are genetically  predisposed to violent behavior , if your wife has a grudge tell her to take it to the hypothalamus .... were our reptilian instincts reside. Now Im not saying that we all should shoot , club or fight to death , violence to another being should only applied when a life is threatened. I think is hypocrital to say that we are more violent nowadays than in other centuries ,  well hello people public executions any one?? Constant wars?? The list goes on and on

How many times must I say this. IF IN DOUBT, WHIP IT OUT.

"
 
@PixelPrinny: I need something I guess - some sort of escapism... I drink an incredible amount too actually... Hell - it's been a rough year this year :P "

Yeah, but I usually only play for 1 hour... Erm, we know each other - just don't agrre on everything.... That's a normal relationship .... 
 
@FourWude:
Dude, she's 28 weeks pregnant.... I have a 3.5 year old daughter, alread whipped and slipped - many times... And paid the price :D

@FourWude: Dude, she's 28 weeks pregnant....

There's your answer to this whole thread. 

Now would you like to pay in cash or cheque?

"  Grrr.... I try to play one campaign of L4D while my wife gets little one to sleep.  She comes down, and five minutes later I'm getting lectured about how she doesn't like this and violent games cause aggressive behaviour and they should all be banned... Then I get presented with various research papers, and lists of incidents that have been linked....

Left 4 Dead, eh? 
 
Is she some zombie activist or something? 
 
I say it now, and I'll say it later. 
 
Zombies are not human!

" Yeah, but I usually only play for 1 hour... Erm, we know each other - just don't agrre on everything.... That's a normal relationship .... "

You guys are married, right? Means you should *know* her beforehand, right? So you tell me that never before, your '' wife '' lectured you on video games? She just vents it out on a random night like this? I find it a tad bit hard to believe. What i'm trying to say is, you know this woman, she's the one you married. Go talk to her.

Tell her that it's temperary. It does cause agressive feelings in some ppl, however it's temperary, just like movies and other entertainment that goes away quickly. I mean is she going to call for a ban on movies too?

" @smokemare: If you want some unsolicited advice, here's something that worked for us:  Offer to come to bed to "tuck her in" at least a couple nights a week.  You don't have to stay there long.  Like 5-15 minutes.  Just long enough that she's happy she gets to cuddle with you for a bit.  Then go shoot people in the face :) "

it doesn't cause people to get aggressive. i just think ban it for kids because they are young to see that. i find that funny. it might because she is prego.

" So does your wife think you'll turn into a psychopathic killer if you play violent games...?  I can't help but wonder how you two didn't have this discussion long before you got married and had children... Like did you start playing video games all of a sudden recently or were you doing so in secret before? o.O "

You should say she's right throw her on the bed and go ape shit nuts in the sack. Then whenever she mentions video game aggression tell her it's for her own  benefit. If that doesn't work ask her if there isn't something else you love that she can waste her time criticizing.

" @animateria:  Dude - she thinks Gears of War is too violent!  THe locust were NEVER human! :P  Bit of a lefty vegetarion pacifist i'm afraid :( "

smack her around, show her whats up

But, if you don't help wipe out the zombies who will?! 

I'll say what I've said a hundred times before: anything can be a trigger. Sure, there have been murders allegedly linked to people playing video games. But there have also been murders or attempted murders allegedly related to movies, or books, or Twinkies. If someone is predisposed to kill, it's not the fault of a game. It's the fault of their own mental imbalance.

Once again, blame the parents for buying the games for their kids and not doing their research. It's sad because these are the same parents that are complaining about people selling games to minors. If you grow up around violence (ex. violent video games), then you're going to be violent. Yeah, we don't like sex offenders so let's ban porn. 
 
I'm going to say this one more time. Hopefully parents are reading. STOP BUYING VIOLENT VIDEO GAMES FOR YOUR KIDS. There's a reason why it says "M" for Mature on that box. I mean, c'mon. I'm a parent myself and I know not to play violent video games around my kids. That's why I have Nintendo stuff around my house. My PS3 and PC stays strictly in my room.

"You should say she's right throw her on the bed and go ape shit nuts in the sack. Then whenever she mentions video game aggression tell her it's for her own  benefit. If that doesn't work ask her if there isn't something else you love that she can waste her time criticizing. "

You picked a winner right there.

whipped

You need to remind her that most of these stories she reads will be sensationalised. Is news ever positive? Rarely. Negative news is always the top of the heap. 
In regards to video games causing aggression. If the person is so unstable that they are going to go out and kill someone, harm someone, etc, then they already have these ideas and issues. They are going to do it regardless. If you are not the type of person to already show any sign of aggression or instability then she doesn't have reason to worry. These research papers she'd sourced will have been people with problems already existing. 

I tend to be a bit more aggressive after long gaming sessions but that also happens after long coding/studying sessions as well so just tell your wife that every activity can stress you if they take it to the extreme. Try to get her into gaming with something like Kinect/Move/Wii, if she doesn't realize that games = fun she will never understand how can we enjoy killing virtual dudes

If something violent were to occur with video games into the equation, there are other conduits that could also exist.

"...or is it that you're up playing a video game while she goes to bed by herself?  Obviously this isn't something you can outright ask her (unless your communication is that good), but it's something to consider."

Check this out, it might give you some arguing points and show you other places to look for info: 
 
http://www.pbs.org/kcts/videogamerevolution/impact/myths.html 
 
But mainly I say put your foot down, and show her she is being manipulated by a sector of society that has the means to produce miss-information to obtain what they want. There is no real evidence to suggest a causal link between gaming and violence, Im not going to write a wall of text here, bottom line: 
You are right, she is wrong.

Ah, another one of those. Did she also mention violence in books, cartoons, movies and on the news? The world is full of violence, and it's up to you as a parent to shield your children from it until they are old enough to handle it on their own.
 
Heard on the news that an american study came to the conclusion that exposing young children (below ages of 10) to very violent video games (and thus any other entertainment portraying such) may in fact have an impact on their development of empathy. 
 
This study had taken over 5 years. All I can say is essentially this: "No shit, assholes?". We have age restriction on games for a fucking reason, the same reason children shouldn't be watching horror movies or other graphic media. We already knew it wasn't good for them damn it - any self-respecting gamer must've realized by now, after years of gaming, just how blunted we've become on reacting to gore and in-game blood mechanics; it doesn't even phase me these days. That this could have an impact on small children, whose minds are yet to be fully developed, is rediculously obvious. 
 
Stop spewing the obvious, stop preaching to the choir, and stop trying to shield your children from the world by wanting to ban everything that you could easily hold out of their reach. Make sure to play some proper Postal 2 while she's watching, that'll set the debate off again if anything.