Gamez Of Da Year 2015

List items

  • Aside from weak RPG progression and marble madness combat, Gwe..uh..The Witcher 3 is like my favourite game this year or something!

  • I love spending 10 hours making a level no one will play!

  • MY TYPE OF RPG! THINGS THAT LOOK LIKE DINOSAURS AND DIFFICULT COMBAT!

  • I wish I had squid hair. I also wish I had hair, but I wish I had squid hair more than I wish I had hair.

    A lot of people have hair. You see the same styles everywhere. Not many people have squid hair, so it's way cooler.

    A bit like the state of the Wii U.

    Stop.

    Think.

  • It's a comprehensible mess on your computer screen!

  • Shame about the story, but hey! I like video games that play like video games!

  • Bloodborne is like a hob nob.

    Thin and dense.

    Dark Souls is like a flapjack.

    IT DOESN'T STOP GIVING!

  • MATE! YOU MESSED UP MY SHOT! HOW DIDN'T YOU KNOW I WAS RIGHT BEHIND YOU FLYING IN FROM THE OTHERSIDE OF THE PITCH? I WAS TOTALLY GONNA HIT IT! GOD!

  • Dumb fun..an artefact that grants immortality?! NO WAY! A CORPORATION WANTS IT TOO?! Jesus Christ! next you'll tell me that's not all they want and that there's something bigger out there.

    Tomb Raider: Illuminati Godzilla

  • BONUS!

    Godzilla games have mostly been bad.

    This game is pretty bad.

    So why even mention it?

    Let me tell you a story...

    I wrestle with the controls, Godzilla's theme gradually thundering through my speakers. Dragging myself to shore, destroying fishing shacks that block a route to precious nuclear waste I must obtain. Battle Cruisers storm in, helicopters appear overhead and tanks flank me from both sides. Suddenly I am a 5ft Asian man in a rubber suit. I am Godzilla.

    Dinosaurs and that sort of thing, specifically Godzilla - speak to me in a special sort of way.

    They speak to my inner conscience, they say:

    David, you are an idiot. Why did you even mention this game?

    I answer: Only I read these lists, you are trapped with me Godzilla.

    This is David, last survivor of the Nosdromo, signing off.