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Srickshaw

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My top 10 worst RPGs

I've gone through and named off my top 10 RPGs, so what about the flip side - the worst? Well, that's not all that difficult, as I've found out. While I could easily fill this list up with Ardolea-published RPG Maker junk, that would take the sport out of it. So here I present to you the top 10 worst RPGs.

(Also to note, Unlimited Saga is not in this list, mainly because I've found if you can get a grasp on that game's systems, it's actually... fun. These are for the games that are damn hard, if not impossible, to actually enjoy and not feel like you're slogging through a mess of a game.)

List items

  • It was hard to choose between this and Laxius Force as the worst, but this won out by hair's breadth. I want to like this game, but the indecipherable interface (good luck figuring out what half the stuff does), gameplay features (you gain random (and permanent) things at seemingly random times for no real reason), unbalanced gameplay (running into enemies that can kill you in 1-2 hits is very common), terrible translation all add up to a very unplayable mess.

  • Ah, Laxius Force, the shining jewel in the pile of Ardolea shit. Terrible art (watch out for the chin on Sarah, it can destroy worlds), terrible writing (with very obvious and very blatant sexism at every corner alongside terrible spelling (Suprem) and grammar), unbalanced areas (it's very common to have encounters that you can breeze through and encounters that can easily wipe your party within three steps of each other), terrible everything. It's a huge wonder how this has a fan base... and 4 sequels. I guess people will like anything.

  • While this game doesn't have *quite* the terrible translation that Dawn of Magic has, it certainly has the unbalanced gameplay in spades. This is a Diablo clone that was made by developers that hate you. Money is incredibly scarce and you need it constantly - gear never comes with full durability (in fact, most gear found has 2-3 points of durability), repair/identify costs are incredibly expensive, and if you play a ranged character? Well, you gotta pay to recharge your ammo as well! Considering it costs 1,000+ credits to do most things in this game and most enemies drop 5-6 credits a piece in the early game... Yeah. It also takes a LONG time for drops to get to the level you need them to be at to vendor.

  • First off, I'll admit: I finished this one (and even wrote a review on this site), but not without some extra effort on my part. This game (once again) suffers from the same problems as the previous games, with one added kicker: The English version of the game includes a game-breaking bug that's impossible to avoid... and that was never patched out by the developers. I had to find a fan patch to get around it - and the fix was literally swapping two bytes. But many times over during the game, I was presented with a plot dump that was near incomprehensible due to the Babelfish-quality translation.

  • Evergrace... yeah. This originally started as a PS1 game that was bumped up to the PS2 as a launch title - and it shows. PS1-quality graphics, awkward controls (tank controls in a twitch-based action RPG), terrible translation (and voice work). All that and insta-death pits everywhere - including the final boss battles. Play (or watch videos of) this just to see how far FROM has come in the way of third-person action RPGs.

  • Okay, admittedly, this game has a lot going for it: SPECIAL system? Check! Somewhat original setting based around renaissance Barcelona? Kickin'! NPC reaction is based around your skills and race choice? Even better!

    It all sounds great until you realize that none of it really matters. Your stats pretty much fall by the wayside if you haven't built a combat character. You spend all of 6 or so hours in Barcelona before moving onto the countryside (and endless amounts of unbalanced combat). Being "marked" (due to racial choice) has almost no impact on NPC reaction or quests (outside of maybe 1). Oddly enough, for all the combat you go through and the fact that speech skills matter for all of 10% of the game - you can talk your way out of the final encounter. But it requires such a high skill check that nobody in their right mind would go for it. There are plenty more problems with this game, but I don't want to ramble.
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