So this is my own personal experience and it might help to explain why some people have this view of the community.
I first tried a souls game with dark souls 2 after seeing so many people say such good things about it when it was released. I played it for 10 minutes before I returned it as I didn't like the way the character felt when moving, something about it seemed plodding and unresponsive. When discussing this with someone the first response wasnt something along the lines of oh that sucks you didnt like it or anything it was along the lines of "oh you just dont get it".
The next game I played was bloodborne as I heard the game played a bit faster. I found this game to be fantastic and really enjoyed it. However the few times I was stuck and asked around about what certain stats meant, how to lvl for the kind of build I was going for, or what certain items even did I was met with responses of look it up, the game tells you everything you need to know pay attention etc. Granted I played the game several years after its initial release so I can unserstand to a point people maybe being tired of answering some questions etc but the utter hostility of the responses definitely made me sour on asking for help from the community.
Now with Elden Ring i look around and all I see are people saying using in game mechanics are bad at the game or not even playing the game the way it is intended, meanwhile they die to margit 40 times because they are too stuborn to summon, or the counter argument that the people playing without using the summons are the real noobs and bad at the game etc.
Also there seems to be a large portion of the vocal community who seem to think that saying you would like it if the game had something in it (a minimap, notes log, etc) is equivlent to you saying the game design is shit and then taking it as a personal attack.
There may be a large portion of the community willing to help people or listen to ideas without immediately taking the things said as a personal attack but they are either too few and far between, or too quiet for a person only casually interested in the game or trying to find a quick answer to something to rely on.
In conclusion at this point in time much like the overall view of the smash community the bad vocal majority has ruined the general perception of the community as a whole and I doubt it will ever actually recover.
Sorry this got longer and more rambly than originally intended.
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