You don't want to read this. You don't want to think about it. You want to go about your lives and have some freedom of choice. You want to enjoy your day, you want to work to earn money, to feed yourselves, your family, pay your bills. You want to sit down on your couch or chair, and at the end of the day you want to enjoy video games.

So you don't want to read this.

Someone will. It won't be written well. It is quickly put together, from the brain to the mouth to the hands to the keyboard. Rules have been thrown out the window.

Today is August 25th, 2014.

Recent events have led myself to speculate on this and how I feel on the subject as a hobbyist, a consumer, and an admirer of interactive media.

The trust I have put into Giant Bomb, lurking my way to a subscription and eventually canceling that as well due to financial reasons.

I do not trust gaming journalists. I don't think I ever will. I don't believe they should be called journalists at this point, not until they have proven themselves.

It started with Zoe Quinn, it continued onto bigger outlets, which in turn it was struck down.

This isn't journalism. This is censorship.

Instead of getting information on the Silent Hills game or what went on at gamescom I am smacked in the face about how racist white people are. I am told that men are out to rape women any second they get.

I live in Chicago. My window has 3 bullet holes in it. Every day I have to get home before sundown or fear that I could get mugged.

In college I was mugged. Not by a black guy, by a group of suburban high school seniors. I left that alleyway with a bloodied and torn shirt, without my keys, my wallet, and the pain only a brick wall can bring.

When I come home I am faced with this.

I'm sick of this.

Journalists are to tell us facts on a human level, if we wanted facts and just the facts we would have created a machine to do so long ago. We want someone to tell us these things in writing or through a video.

Humans can only do so much. We have feelings, we were conditioned to think certain ways either consciously or subconsciously.

I fear for the gaming industry as a consumer, a hobbyist, and an admirer.

Here is the devils advocate, here are possible facts, here is what sites like Giant Bomb, Kotaku, Rock Paper Shotgun, and Reddit don't want you to discuss. They don't think it is important, they don't think discussing the integrity of game journalism is important. While sites like 4chan and Tumblr are up in arms and want to talk about this. To the Giant Bombs, the reddits, the kotakus, it isn't important enough for folks like us to discuss.

Zoe Quinn ruined a gamejam to get rid of competition.

Zoe Quinn had intimate relations with people in the industry, journalists, people who can elbow smaller developers and shut them up.

Patrick Kelpatrick wants to talk about integrity and being a good person, not to bully others around, so on and so forth. As a longtime fan of the site. As someone who rarely signs up to sites at all. I want an honest answer. Where has journalism gone? Where has the integrity gone?

I've already searched the bottom of a Doritos bag. It isn't there.

I've read Patrick's writings and watched his videos. I am not seeing it.

I am seeing people push their own agenda while hiding behind a buffer.

I am sick of this.

If we, as the consumer, can not discuss about the idea that we may be placing too much trust in gaming websites. Then I don't know what to do anymore.

What I know for certain is that I can not trust Giant Bomb the way I used to.

What I had stumbled across years ago, happily accepting a bastion for games and all things related has turned into sickening distrust.

From now on, I will look upon this site as I do Al Jazeera and The Young Turks. Ears open, but judgmental.

I am sorry Vinny, Jeff, Brad, Rorie, Alex, Dan, everyone involved with the site. I have never seen you folks as heroes or without mistake, but as people that I would happily buy a drink. Sadly that isn't so.

I am not asking you guys to win me over by saying something about Zoe, it's your site and I already named 2 that are open to actual discussion. I am just hoping that I can regain my trust in this site again.