Nintendo, look honey... I'm really sorry. It's not you. It's me. No no no! Don't cry... it's just that... I sort of... met someone else. I know, right? I didn't expect this either. Her name is PC. Yeah, I know. The "stuck up" girl. But she's changed!

She's still higher maintenance in some ways.... driver updates... config files to edit... but she just gives me more back. She uses totally standard stuff... dirt cheap cables and shit. And remember when I tried to plug that dongle into your rear port? Yeah, that was a disaster. But with PC, I can plug two USB drives into her rear panel, and one into her front socket. She takes it a like champ, I tellya. And she can get off without any of those fancy toys you seem obsessed with -just one of cousin Xbox's gamepads and we're good to go. Did I mention what a fucking whiz she is at online stuff? Not to mention, after the up front expenses are paid, I can keep her happy ridiculously cheap. You remember that guy Steam, right? You met him at that party? Well, he gave us the hookup. Pure AAA shit, at a fraction of the price most dealers around here charge.

Anyway...bye, baby. You will always be Number One in my book. You were my first... my favorite. But I have to move on now. Keep your chin up kid. You got great looks, even if you are kind of slow on the uptake sometimes. I know there are dozens of guys who'd kill for a good lookin' piece of kit like you.

PlayStation, you can roll with us for now, but only because I still need a blu-ray player. Don't get the wrong idea, ok?