This Ain't No Game: TANG: Alone in the Dark

I want Ryan to do Bloodrayne II: Deliverance next.  If he has any life left after watching all the Uwe Boll movies so far, this one will drain the rest.  While Boll's other movies have been released in theaters, this one went straight to video.  That should show you just how bad it is.

hey uwe, we got les wampas on the phone
 
"NOT YOU UWEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!"

" Does anybody else see the irony of all the newfies talking about pronunciation? "

"You know what's fucked up about this movie...besides everything?  If Uwe Boll didn't direct it, and Tara Reid wasn't in it...it could've actually been a decent movie at least. "

WOOT TANG IS BACK!!!

oh man thats bad

" WOOT TANG IS BACK!!! "

welcome back TANG

Ahhhh... delicious TANG. Hey it IS better if you wait a while.... :P As always the best stuff on earth.

Yeah TANG is back!!! Great episode Ryan, this was one of the best!!

The scene that is shown at 2:57 is awesome, mainly because someone who is supposed to be dead on the floor lifts their head a little before it cuts away.
 
Also, during a fight, someone who is supposed to be impaled by a long, thin thing falls over. As they do, the bit going in the front comes away from them, breaking the illusion and giving away that it's just two different pieces.
 
Oh, and there's also a bullet that seems to miss someone by a freakin' mile, but kills them anyway.
 
Yep, I bought this DVD a bargain bin to see how bad it was. I am mad ambivalent over its entertainment value.
 
P.S. THIS.

lol newfoundland dumb bitch

" Does anybody else see the irony of all the newfies talking about pronunciation? "

" NEW-FIN-LAND!!! Nobody ever gets it right haha. But I agree, that Newfundlund sounds a hell of a lot less stupid than new-found-land.   Most awesome place on earth though, it is all that matters!! "

I do love me some tang.

 
In the words of Alan Doyle, what are ya' at?
 
The Americanized pronunciation always drives us Newfoundlanders crazy.  I think it all goes back to the promo on NTV from the mid '90s where the kid from Home Improvement said it wrong. But Giant Bomb seems to have a Fort McMurray-like representation of us ready to band together when needed in instances like this.
 
Still, this episode of TANG is the biggest thing to happen to Newfoundland involving a giant bomb since  Shaun Majumder set off that nuclear bomb in season 6 of 24.

Daaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaang!

At least she didn't make any "Newfie" jokes.

The dialogue & acting in this film is fucking toxic. Christian Slater & Tara Reid should stick to doing rails in dark nightclub coat rooms.
 
 Oh, & Uwe Boll should wedge a shotgun in the enormous expanse betwixt his front teeth.

new FOUND land. lol

Never seen this movie. Now I have to watch it totally shit faced. It make all bad movies that much better.

Nuu-Fundd-Lend.

We're seven seconds away...

the newfoundland quote was just too funny.

Does box art Tara Reid scare the crap out of anyone else?

FINAAAAALY, TANG is back!

So bad, this TANG was scary!
 
Loved it though! The how Newfoundland thing was horrible when I heard her pronounce it, glad you brought it up Ryan!

Actually Ryan had it 2/3 right.  you say newfound as he did but you say land as you normally would.....everybody now......it's my home...i'm what some would call an expert...

This movie blows..... Yup.  That's all I had to say.

Ugh, I don't like Tara Reid.

" Wow.. Mnemic was in a Uwe Boll movie... awesome! "

They should make an Uwe Boll movie pack and label it Worst Movies of All Time.

" Actually Ryan had it 2/3 right.  you say newfound as he did but you say land as you normally would.....everybody now......it's my home...i'm what some would call an expert... "

Damn it. Now they have advertising before the videos..... GB, I thought you were above that.... Let's hope you don't get worse....

He's the only director I've seen so far that makes montages out of key action scenes to apparently emphasize that they're throwaway moments.
 
NEWfnlnd!

Just getting lower and lower...

Lol finally more TANG

I love TANG!

Will be interesting to see what he's gonna think of the 2nd Alone in the Dark movie.
I had somewhat higher hopes due to Uwe Boll not directing it as well as the inclusion of Lance Henriksson and Danny Trejo, but it turned out to be even worse!

funny when u pronounced it correctly at end end and you added her saying "you ass hole"...Lol

Seven seconds awayyyyyyyyyy. Just so long as I stayyyyyyy. I'll be waiting.

VENESUELA, NOO-FOWND-LAND, ALAAASKAA
 
ROFL. GFTO Uwe! You are officially worse for the videogame industry than Jack Thompson!!

I bought this a while back for five bucks to see just how bad it could be.
 
I'm never getting that time back.
 
I had to inflict it on friends just to make myself feel less bad (there is no 'better' with this). They weren't happy.