The Last of Us

Oh The Last of Us. How I wish I could understand you. I mean I understand you perfectly, I just don't get how OTHER people understand you. I once said that this was the most overrated game of all time. I was wrong. That honor safely goes with Persona 4, this however is a close second. Lets talk about the story.

Formulaic. Predictable. Well-written. That last word doesn't belong with the other two, but somehow it fits in when describing the nature of this game's story. The game stars Joel and Ellie, a duo put together by death and misfortune, trekking their way across the country. Joel is in it to get some loot, and Ellie is in it to save the human race.

Listen. I understand that not a lot of people are as well versed in pop culture as I am. I get that. However when someone like me who has seen every zombie movie from the original White Zombie to Shaun of the dead...You are going to have a bad time. This isn't a game that plays with your expectations, rather than runs with them. I predicted every twist before it happened. Not just based on the context of the game, but of the few trailers I saw.

The one surprising aspect of the story is the opening section, but from the moment it starts, you know how it ends. It was shocking when I saw who was the star of this section, but once I did, I knew not only how it ended, but how the story ark of Joel and Ellie would play out. Luckily for us though the story is surprisingly well written for embracing so many cliches. There were moments of absolute writing brilliance such as the first couple of scene with David and Ellie, and writing stupidity, like turning David into an absolute fucking idiot to suit the writing needs of the game. The story has its problems but overall it is an enjoyable trek across the country.

Gameplay wise is where the game shines in my book. I know that is opposite from a lot of people but I simply think some of the level design in this game is fucking brilliant. Every clicker section is absolutely tense and memorable, and the section in the school is simply unsettling. Winter is where the game's gameplay truly shines. It removes much of everything you have as you play as a different character and my is it nerve wracking. From the beginning of the deer hunt to the end of the boss battle, Winter is a moment of true brilliance in the game. Too bad the game kind of stops after that.

There are indeed moments of boring level design. The sewer section is one I will mention. I hate sewer levels in any game, and this one doesn't get a free pass. And the entire Spring section can die and go to hell. By that point in the game it feels like its just spinning its wheels waiting to burnout. Even the final hospital section was a snooze, as I was just breezing past everything, probably not because I was very good, but because the game had harder sections before. Again the level design has moments of brilliance and stupidity, but overall it is fun to play.

I would talk about graphics and frame rate here, but ya know...the game looks good. That's all. It was never a very pretty game on the PS3 and now it IS a pretty game on PS4, but it doesn't really affect anything overall. It is the same game it always was with a new coat of paint. Nothing more nothing less.

Now the multiplayer. The reason I bought the game again. This multiplayer is fun, addicting, infuriating, and controller breaking all at once. There is so much involved in sneaking around trying to get the one up on your enemies, but the game has some really stupid points in multiplayer. The masks and hats are completely forgettable, nothing ever exciting me to continue, and sometimes the game just makes NO SENSE.

Putting three burst rifle bursts into someones stomach while getting beaten up, I die. It happens more often than not. Purchasables are a good way to turn the tide of the match, but I didn't buy them for a long stretch of my game because I thought that would take away supplies. The game doesn't tell you they don't and I had to look it up to find out I could spend freely. The multiplayer is great fun, and I will continue playing it. It is one of the best multiplayer games available on the PS4.

DLC...wasted potential. Look its not that Ellie turns out to be gay, its not that it was to short...its just that it wasn't engaging. Yes learning about Riley and Ellie getting bit was alright, and the combat when it was there was fun. Who didn't love throwing a brick and unleashing hoards of clickers on the hunters? That was fun, but for a lot of it I was just walking around admiring the environment and characters, and the characters weren't very admirable.

I don't care that your main character is gay. I care how poorly written it was. You changed up the sexuality of a character I just spent ten plus hours with, not because it served the writing, but to serve as a shock. The game didn't deserve to place the gay tag on its character. In fact the scene was so goddamn confusing that I had to look up if Ellie was gay or not. I merely thought that hey, she has never been very close to someone and she was confusing feelings of closeness and sisterly love with feelings of romance and sexual attraction. That would have been an interesting look, and I might of bought it if that was what they were going for but no. They wrote it, so Ellie was gay. Even acknowledging the fact that they hadn't decided this until they were working on the Left Behind dlc. I wanted to scream when I read that. Their excuse for never revealing this in the game was because there was no reason for it to be brought up.

Fuck you, you hacks. You are telling me, as close as Joel and Ellie grew, as loving as their relationship became...They never once talked about this? Joel may as well be Ellie's surrogate father, but they never ONCE...ONCE talked about how she felt towards the opposite gender. Tomboys don't have to be gay Naughty Dog. Seriously. Most grow out of it, or embrace it. Doesn't mean they are gay. Left Behind was a waste of money back when it came out, and now it is just a nice addition to a package that didn't need to be made.

One final note. When the Tomb Raider: Definitive Edition came out, everyone kicked and screamed. Its a money grab! Its a waste of money! Square Enix are a bunch of greedy fuckers! When Sleeping Dogs: Definitive Edition launches in October, the world will say the same thing. But when Last of Us: Remastered released?

The world praised the Naughty God....I've begun to realize how stupid most gamers are.

Overall The Last of Us: Remastered is a waste of money for people who've already played it, and a good time for those who haven't. While I don't regret the purchase of this game...I'm not exactly ecstatic that I bought it. If you've played the game to completion before and aren't a die hard fan...stay the fuck away...otherwise: Have fun!