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Dean Evans' Top 10 Games of 2013

The crazy man behind Far Cry 3: Blood Dragon gives us the video game troll's perspective on 2013's game releases.

Dean Evans is the demented mind behind this year's Best Game Featuring Michael Biehn, Far Cry 3: Blood Dragon. His specific brand of video game nihilism can often be found spewing forth on Twitter.

There is nothing I like more than playing the bad guy. I love it. When a game presents me the option of being a dick, I will jump on that train and ride it directly into the centre of Dickville. Many of us like to engage in virtual murder and this certainly has no effect on our real lives. I like to engage is mass virtual genocide (genocide is fun) and make the lives of NPCs an utter misery. In reality I think I’m a much nicer person but in the virtual world I’m a griefer and a troll. I’m that teamkilling shitstain that you hate. I’m that C4 attached to your chopper kind of guy. I just like to make digital beings live a life of misery. Case in point: my utterly racist playthrough of Skyrim. Anyone that wasn’t pure breed Nord would feel the business end of my axe and the party tips of my arrows. I didn’t use any magic, potions or Potter-like spells. Put it this way… I made a lot of soup and anything that used magic would die a death of dead. I was Judge, Jury, and Executioner, and this is the fantasy I want to play.

Killing is easy though… pull trigger and forget. Video game combat is generally short-lived childlike outbursts with little consequence. Sending someone back into a war-torn country based on a dodgy passport is far more chilling and impactful. Imagine what happened when I played Papers, Please... (referred to as PP from now on) The first time I saw that trailer I nearly shit my life out. It’s perfect. I’ve always wanted to deny someone of their freedom in a game. This is how you destroy someone.

PROBLEM SOLVED.

I judge people. You judge people. We all do it. PP is arguably the best judging simulation ever created. I role-played so fucking hard in this game that I started to arrange things on my desk just like I would shuffle documents in the game. PP is by far my favourite game of 2013 and highlights areas of human life that we haven’t truly explored in the gaming space… namely, judgment.

I didn’t even care if I messed up in the game as long as I got to brand you with my stamp of denial I was happy.

PP delivered on and nailed its vision so hard that it’s impossible not to be inspired by such a bleak, twisted, horrific and fun game.

My top ten of 2013 is:

1. Papers, Please

2. Papers, Please

3. Papers, Please

4. Papers, Please

5. Papers, Please

6. Papers, Please

7. Papers, Please

8. Papers, Please

9. Papers, Please

10. Papers, Please

70 Comments
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Posted by BeachThunder

Ha.

Posted by Mercury45

Guys, I'm finding it hard to tell from the subtlety of this piece, but I think Dean really likes Papers, Please.

Posted by csl316

Ha, PP.

Posted by SeanFoster

So glad to see Papers, Please getting love on some of these end of the year lists.

Posted by Sil3n7

Number 10 is pretty harsh on Papers please. Should have been higher.

Posted by CitizenJP

( 7 '-_-)7

Posted by Inf225

This list is great, but I really think Papers, Please should have been on there.

Posted by Agent_of_HYDRA

This list varied a lot from 10-1.

Posted by zladko

10/10 list

Edited by steelknight2000

Glory to Arstotzka

Posted by President_Barackbar

Really surprised Papers, Please got his #1 over Papers, Please. Must have taken a lot of internal debate.

Edited by MiniPato

What a shit list. Don't even see Papers, Please on there.

Posted by White

10 games that were better than Brothers.

Posted by hermes

I get that you liked Papers Please, but what do you think of Papers Please?

Personally, I liked it better than Papers Please...

Posted by jimmyfenix

Papers Please was robbed!

Posted by Alex
Staff
Posted by FoolishChaos

Man, PP getting all this attention is getting my attention

I remember people kind of liking the free version. I guess they improved the hell out of it for release?

Edited by AlexanderSheen

Very good...

Posted by granderojo
Posted by RedTentacle

Fantastic. Also makes me understand Blood Dragon even more.

Posted by Krabonq

Blood Dragon is certainly in my Top 10 this year.

Barely any other game was this much pure fun and showed perfectly how more FPSs nowadays should be. Especially the ones from big publishers.

Posted by DeviousGrievous

Can't wait for the upcoming Far Cry 4: Passport Dragon.

Posted by jdownes

You are a wonderful person.

Posted by beard_of_zeus

DENY ALL BLOOD DRAGONS ENTRY. GLORY TO ARSTOTSKA.

Posted by oversteps

:D!

Posted by ZGoon
Edited by ThatFrood

Fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuck YEAH!

Edited by CornBREDX

I don't have the fondness that others do for this game.

That being said, this list probably wins every internet point.

Posted by Hassun

This is how you hate.

Posted by Jonny_Anonymous

all the wins

Posted by BillyMaysRIP
Edited by Bummey

This is probably the best list and justification for said list.

Posted by rethla

Guys, I'm finding it hard to tell from the subtlety of this piece, but I think Dean really likes Papers, Please.

Its a really good game someone should recommend it for him.

Posted by Daze

Surprised that Blood Dragon wasn't number 10.

Posted by Claude

My Skyrim characters were all pussies compared to yours.

Posted by Harabec

I too played a pure-blooded axe-wielding Nord, but I saved my hate for the Altmer. I didn't give my hatred for just anyone willy nilly like some cheap racist.

Posted by Winternet

Hmm, I don't think I agree with number 4 and 7 inclusion on a top10 list, but to each its own.

Edited by GaspoweR

Not racist enough :P :P :P

Scrolls down to find @alex's comment and find the original comment that was deleted and I went:
"OOOOOoooooooOOOOOoooooooOOOOooooooooOOOOOooooooooo, son."

Edited by Monkeyto

I respect this list a lot. Was a fantastic game, and one even my better half likes to sit down and watch me play. I'm glad that Papers, Please is getting a lot of spotlight that it downright deserves (in my eyes).

Edited by solidlife

Immigration officer simulator 2014 please.

Edited by rpratts

HAHAHA

Posted by TheHT

Oh you want a better life in Glorious Arstotzka? Too bad.

( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

Posted by Xealot42

All this Papers, Please hubbub has convinced me to buy it while it is 50% off on Steam.

Posted by paulunga

This is the writer for Blood Dragon, eh? That explains so much.

Posted by liako21

I would have had #7 higher on my list but....what ev

Posted by wumbo3000

I think his number 3 is way too high on the list, but whatever.

Edited by Sammo21

Brad Shoemaker is crazy in stating this game wasn't fun to play. Also, I think numbers one and two are completely overrated.

Posted by StealthRaptor

Hello, Mr. Lestrade. I've been waiting for you.

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