Magic is indeed good, almost overpowered. My character only had soul arrow/soul ray though and used melee and I got by just fine(NG+ maneaters suck though). I would say go with your preference. If you decide to go for a melee, play defensive, play to the counter attack. Have your shield up almost all the time and learn the enemies. Know when you can block, when you need to dodge, and when to counter attack. As you get stronger, you can start making the first strike, but relying heavily on counter attacking will make the game a lot easier.
Don't worry about dying too much. All that happens is your souls drop, sometimes dying is good because it allows you to get more consumables and souls. If you have a big stockpile, don't finish the level, go back to the nexus and level up, repair, and upgrade your equipment. Always carry plenty of arrows, you'll see why in world 4. This may seem tedious, but once you learn the levels they get a lot shorter.
The ring of Giant Strength is your best friend. I find a good dodge roll to be 100% essential for this game, that ring will let you equip heavier things but move better.
Take some time to look around and make sure you understand the game, but I wouldn't obsess too much about it. I just jumped right in and played and found it to be a lot of fun.
Boss's drop special souls that can get you special equipment or spells by giving them to NPCs, I suggest looking up what each soul will give you so you know if you want to get it or if you want to eat the soul for more souls. I used the Demon's Souls wikidot.
Don't worry about your class, just pick what suits you and you'll be able to build it how you want, as long as you play well you should do ok even if you don't build yourself "right".
As for people invading your world, I didn't really mind, especially if you play with other people it's not too hard to fight them off, though the lag can be terrible. Also, in order to invade people you just need to get the black(?) eye stone by defeating a black phantom, player or NPC, doesn't matter then you can invade other players with you're in soul form. Getting the bad ending gets you the Red Eye Stone which lets you request to duel other players. Are the servers even still online though?
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