Dr. Ned

 "Tasked with keeping the workers of Jakobs Cove alive, Dr. Ned (who is not related to Dr. Zed from Fyrestone) does his job a little too well, creating zombies and other abominations that now run rampant in this region."
       -- From the original description given by Gearbox Software for the Zombie Island of Dr. Ned

Dr. Ned Quotes

• "I'm just kidding, of course you're expendable."
• "I am Dr. Ned who is totally not Dr. Zed in disguise."
• "My perfectly healthy liver cries out in anguish!"
• "You kill me some zombie bastards?"
• "Hey, bring me back a couple of bottles of whiskey."
• "Damn, I need a drink. My liver is crying out in perfect health over here!"
• "Well, get to it. Zombies aren't gonna cave in their own heads."
• "I trust you come bearing good news and/or brains?"
• "Wipe your feet. Just 'cause it's the apocalypse doesn't mean you ain't need your manners."
• "Well, well. Looks like you're worth your weight not getting killed, after all."
• "Thanks for gettin' back out there and risking your life while I sit back in safety up here and issue asinine directives. Nah, I'm just kidding, obviously you're expendable."
•  "You smell like popcorn...now, I'm pissed."

Medical Vending Machine Quotes

• "If this crap ain't enough for your ailments, visit my infirmary on the water in Jakob's Cove ."
• "Buy a shield, and when you do, buy a first aid kit."
• "Shields and healing, that's what I'm dealing."
• "Who needs Dr. Zed when you have Dr. Ned?"
• "Zombies trying to tear your face off? Buy a shield ! And then buy an Insta-Health, for when the shield inevitably goes down and you really need it."
• "Choose Dr. Ned before you're undead."
• "Do me a favor. Buy first aid so that I don't have to fix you up later."