Jeff's Fast Food Burger Blind Test

(From 1/14/14 podcast, ~ 3hr 14min mark)

lol, omg.PLEASE DO A VIDEO OF THIS TEST AND POST IT ON THE SITE!

I could totally do the main fast food chains. They are all pretty distinctive.

Jeff talks a lot of smack, let's see if he has to stones to actually do it!

I could definitely tell the difference between McDonald's, Burger King, Wendy's, White Castle and Five Guys burgers. It wouldn't be that hard, and I haven't gone to a fast food restaurant in probably a year.

hella easy.

I would LOVe to see if he could actually nail that challenge. Your tastebuds would be so shot after a few greasy bites..... :P

I can tell the difference between Burger King, McDonald's and Wendy's but that's probably because I've been to each of them far too many times. McDonald's has the worst buns.

Same here, and you can add A&W and Dairy Queen to the list. And I currently live where the nearest fast food place is 50 minutes away. They all taste so different.

Yeah I don't think it's actually that hard

Hell I could do most of those just by picking them up.

woah you guys know way more about this stuff than i would expect. i couldnt do any of these

I'm sure Jeff could do this with Pizza also. As could I probably. As could most of you. Most fast food restaurants have something in their food that makes it stand out from the rest. That thing can either be good or bad. But every place has something. Unless you don't eat out that often or at all, then you might not be able to tell.

I think you guys are being way overconfident here. We're talking the same/similar ground rules they laid out:

• The most basic cheeseburger from each establishment.
• Each burger is sheared into equal square/cube sizes, to eliminate the Wendy's tell.
• You are allowed a glass of water in between guesses.

I think I could distinguish the Burger King--Jeff's right about the smoky fake flavor--and the McDonald's out of pure familiarity but that's it. Dairy Queen, Jack-In-The-Box, Wendy's, etc would all be pretty wild guesses on my part. And this is coming from a guy that has had his fair share of each, and favors Jack-In-The-Box (mainly out of a superior menu selection).

I just thought Jeff's hubris was hilarious. I'm confident he would do very well but he wouldn't ace the test. No way.

I was surprised by Vinny's incredulity. It would be the easiest thing in the world to identify the major burgers.

But yeah, GB needs a Meet The Meat feature in which Jeff blind-tastes fast food.

Each chain goes out of their way to make their burgers distinct. I was surprised at how much Vinny was thinking it would be hard.

I mostly cook my own food nowadays, but I could still easily tell the difference between all the chains, including In 'N Out and Five Guys

Absolutely. I was walking down the street when he made these claims and I stopped to laugh out loud.

I think this would be pretty easy, actually. There's enough difference in ingredients and textures that you wouldn't confuse a McDonald's cheeseburger with a Burger King cheeseburger with a Wendy's cheeseburger.

This HAS to happen, and Will Smith HAS to be present.

I was eating a fast food burger at the time I heard this part of the podcast. This shit is easy for me. For Jeff, I imagine it would be fairly easy as well. Still make for a hell of a video, though.

wht if we grind up each burger into a refreshing smoothie and then have the test?

Oh yes. PLEASE MAKE THIS HAPPEN, VINNY!

That is just disgusting, and has to happen now.

I think I could do a pretty good job at a blind taste test. Most chains have specific tells, either a flavor, texture, or way that they cook the burgers that makes them different enough to tell a difference. Of course, I have never had certain chain burgers before (I live in Maine, we get everything late or not at all) so those would be impossible to tell. But for stuff like BK, McD, 5 Guys, Wendy's, Sonic, DQ, I think I could handle it.

Jeff is crazy to think that an In-N-Out burger tastes like a 5 Guys burger, and that's if I made each order single patty, cheese, bun, and ketchup.

If they do this, I hope they decorate the set like a fancy resturant, and have Jeff wear one of those fancy napkins on his lap.

I could see this happening at the panel for PAX East, at least one can hope...

@akeldama said:

So let's raise the stakes. @jeff is blindfolded, and @vinny is feeding him. @willsmith is shouting and pressuring him. A dominatrix with a whip is standing behind ready to strike if Jeff answers incorrectly.

Yep. Pizza would probably be even easier. But I bet I could do this test and I don't even eat fast food burgers anymore.

As someone who gets fast food MAYBE six-to-ten times a year, I was on Vinny's side. I think when I had fast food more as a kid I could tell the difference between McDonald's and Burger King (and that I VASTLY preferred Burger King), but all fast food (and if I'm being truthful most real hamburgers too) taste about the same to me. It's the fries that were a tell on the restaurant for me. I've always thought McDonald's had the better fries which presented a dilemma since fries last longer than a burger but the burger is supposed to be the highlight.

Anyway, my answer is Popeyes.

Yeah, I'm like Jeff. Pretty much 100% certain I could do this. I would definitely like to see them try though.

I always get my burgers with only cheese and ketchup anyway. I could totally do this. I'll even throw in Applebees, Dennys, and TGI Fridays. I would have no clue with Sonic and Dairy Queen since I don't eat there.

Since when is there a 14th month? ...oh, America.

Can someone put together a proposed badge of honour/shame for him if he can get them all right?

But seriously guys. We're missing the point here. Jeff thinks that Popeyes is GROSS? FOR SHAME JEFF, FOR SHAME. BLASPHEMY.

I found this today!

http://www.thrillist.com/eat/nation/best-burgers-at-fast-food-chains-thrillist-nation?utm_medium=syn&utm_source=guyism&utm_term=web

I will be really disappointed if it doesn't happen this way.

I probably could have done that back when I ate red meat. Each place has pretty distinctive burgers.

I haven't eaten fast food in about 2 years but I'm pretty sure I could still tell the difference between a big mac and a whopper. I'm sure a master like Jeff would pass the challenge easily.

Yeah Jeff, drop your purse and do it, would ya.

Never heard of a Five Guys until today. Don't eat much fast food, but if it came down to it, BK all the way baby! Anyway, I looked Five Guys up and there's one kind of close to where I live. Is it worth checking out, and if so how do they make their burgers? Thanks.

I really wanna see this happen. Like, so badly.

I have a friend who did this with like 5 different kinds of light beer and got every single one right.

This might be good material for the next 24 hour charity stream.

I would watch this. Sounds pretty difficult to me but, then again, out of the named fast-food chains I've only eaten at McDonalds. And that was about 3 years ago. Pizza is my drug of choice.

Yeah word to this, I could destroy the taste test in my sleep.

Which is when I usually eat burgers, PS.

In my dreams.

You would all bomb it so hard, and I would laugh as you fell into a hubris laden, burger infested, shame spiral! Haha, I say!

No but seriously, make it happen, duders. DON'T LET THE INTERNET DOWN.

And then Alexis can eat a boat load of chicken nugs again?

This all sounded exciting until the whole "just the patty" rule got laid down.

Now I'm bored.

I'll take burger smoothie any day over that.

I was so on board with this from the second I heard them talking about it on the Bombcast, but now that someone raised the idea of Will Smith being there too I NEED IT TO HAPPEN. Fucking Will Smith just berating Jeff the whole time and pronouncing shit incorrectly would be just the icing on top of an already perfect live stream.

Someone go on Jeff's Tumblr and remind him about it. I would do it but apparently you need a Tumblr account now to submit questions so fuck that.

This has to happen in the next Big Live Live Show.