Okay, you know Doom, right? So, here's my idea: A character creation system in which you can modify the size of your character's liver, anywhere from "kind of small" to "a bit larger than normal". Okay, now, remember how I mentioned Doom? Well, this feature will allow you to survive longer in games without requiring a liver transplant. That's a lie, but you won't know that. As a matter of fact, the slider does absolutely nothing. That's also a lie. It affects item drop frequency. But how? Well, in short, it makes items drop more than they would if you didn't play the game. And if you don't use the liver slider, you can't leave the character creation menu, so really, what are we even doing here? You tell me, because I don't fucking know, man. I'm just trying to pitch this thing. What the fuck are YOU doing with YOUR life, Mr. Judgey? Have you invented a new game mechanic? No? Okay then. So anyway, here you are, with your freshly generated virtual liver, and you're boppin' about stabbing enemies in the ass or whatever it is you do in your goddamn video games, Billy, and you had better have this room clean by the time I come back or your ass is grounded, mister. But yeah, you're running around stabbing enemies, and suddenly BWAAAAAAA you're inside your own liver and depending on how big or small you made it in the character creation screen you'll be in a big or small area that is filled with liver people and you'll talk to them and they'll give you items but none of them matter because you're in a liver not just any liver but your own liver and how is that even possible you'll say and suddenly CUT TO BLACK BECAUSE THE GAME WAS HALF LIFE 3 THE WHOLE TIME HOLY FUCK GABE NEWELL JUST BLEW YOUR FUCKING SKULL wait no it's this stupid ass liver game again fuck it video games are dumb you guys I'm going home.
Edit: Oh shit! COFFEE PHYSICS!
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