Posted by Hawkerace (260 posts) -

Before I typed this, not moments ago was I rolling around in bed unable to sleep not only to an unhealthy lifestyle and a terrible sleep schedule, but the need to tell everyone my opinion about VIDEO GAMES. Yeah, I love video games and if you don't - I demand you leave immediately. I will go into a blindly dota rage if you say otherwise.

Okay, so video games. I figured I would fashion my game and their lists loosely to the Giant Bomb's staff collective already, however since only been two days I will somewhat need to guess what the rest will be. Nostradamus or not, all of this reading pleasure is direct for you to criticize.

Is that a G or a face gargling down cheeseburgers and passing out on his own merit afterwards? YOUR DECISION

2013’s Old Game of the Year

Syndicate

This section seems a bit void of any excitement due to the fact I don't have a windjammers set and I don't have a bunch of rude lewd dudes to crunch a hundred games infront of a gorillian fans. But when I found myself staring at a copy of Syndicate in the bargain bin at the store I immediately was flooded with Jeff's whispering wisdom that Syndicate was a really good game. And I thought he was right!

Runner-Ups: Dragon's Dogma:DA & Mafia II

URL of the Year

Best Surprise

Gunpoint

Is Brother's a better game? I can't tell you that

For a game I thought to myself that was going to be another tryhard indie game that would wow me in the feelings department and throw me art and themes in my face, I found myself knee deep in character for the few hours the play through took me.

I guess that's what I get for being an asshole!

Runner-ups: Rise of the Triad, Mars: War Logs

Best Looking Game

Runner-ups: Bioshock Infinite, Metro: Last Light

Best Music

Rise of the Triad

In a remake of a game that does so much right, the music is just great for the show. I don't mean the current music they brought with it either, see that classic option in the audio? Press that. Yeah, that's the good stuff. Gimme. I don't believe it's the exact same audio they used from the previous iteration all those years ago, but who is actually keeping tabs?

Runner-ups: Gunpoint, Bioshock Infinite

Best Story

Metro: Last Light

He's running to buy more copies of Metro for his friends. Are you?

There's too few games I've played this year that weren't dota or counter strike, and I am ashamed of this revelation. More-so because I've missed out on so many games and addition that time seems to be dedicated to the plagues of multiplayer games then the fleshed out stories this category requires. Metro: Last Light was one of those games I would call a pretty fucking good video game with a good story to boot. Just the world building upon the previous game, which I really enjoyed with some of the DLC put me in a grueling world of misery and vodka. I loved every minute of it. Except those spiders and dark corridors, I don't do that shit too well. Also this game is turbo Russian, and that's what rows my boat if you know what I mean.

Runner ups are GTA V, and Last of Us - Last of Us being a game I have yet to get really deep in, but I imagine it's probably right up my alley, I lack motivation to play through it though.

Most Disappointing Game

Company of Heroes 2

Man FUUUUUUUUUCK this game. I thought I was I was going to be on the Eastern Front, but instead I'm back in 2009 playing Dawn of War II. The moment you make items and powers in a RTS I immediately roll my eyes to the back of my head. Such a bummer. Play Men of War Assault Squad instead, that's a good World War game.

Runner-ups: Sim Shitty, EvE

Best New Character

I miss my bones!

Runner-ups: Michael (GTA V), Roy (Mars War Logs)

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Now I have to fake being creative, and give you the JAMS man, cause I have no more templates to follow!

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Best 'Level'Design

Remember Me

Say whatever you will about this game, I found myself staring at the set pieces I was to progress through more-so than actually enjoying whatever you'd call a game. If they made this a cyberpunk picture book, I honestly can't imagine it loosing any stars ... in our hearts. -sigh- Why can't we have more cyberpunk games you guys? Why?

Runner-ups: Rise of the Triad, Stick it to the Man!

Best Online Community

Dota 2

hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahhhahahahahahahahahahahahhahahahaahhahahaahhahahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha

Runner-ups: CS:GO, Wargame: Airland Battle

Best Budget Games of 2013

  • Far Cry Blood Dragon
  • State of Decay (steam relase 2013)
  • La-Mulana (steam release 2013)
  • Hammerwatch
  • Stick it to the Man!

2013 Games that are going to be made into movies by Uwe Boll

  • Brothers: Tale of Brad's favourite game this year
  • Battlefield 4
  • Zeno Clash II
  • Don't Starve
  • Rise of the Triad

Early Access Games you should check out

NEO Scavenger

Verdun

Betrayer

MAIA

Xenonauts

Wasteland 2

The Age of Dedecance

Caste Story

Top Ten OUYA games

10. Amazing Frog

9. TowerFall

8. Final Fantasy III

7. Neon Shadow

6. Shadowgun

5. Bard's Tale

4. American Dream

3. Pizza Boy

2. Clark

1. No Brakes Valet

Top Ten of categories that need be official

  1. Best game Patrick played that isn't indie
  2. Best game that got most people mad discussing on the podcast
  3. GAMES BETTER THAN BROTHERS (It was okay, but really though not the 7$ good I paid for it I feel)
  4. Best in-game food item
  5. Best bugs/glitches/shit that isn't supposed to happen but does
  6. Best nobody on the giantbomb staff played except maybe Drew if we're lucky
  7. Best Early Access/Beta in terms of quality/fun/content
  8. Best in-game hub/town/city
  9. Best Rorie giggle/snort
  10. Which Early Access Zombie Survival Horror game turns out to be the one everyone likes and plays

Top Ten Official List of Games I liked that came out this year and everyone needs to make one of these lists.

10. Remember Me - Not polished but going in with low expecations, ended up loving many assets and gameplay. Neato story.

9. Grand Theft Auto V - Most recent iteration of the grand theft auto series hits more than it misses, great game with lots of replay ability.

8. Dragon's Dogma: Dark Arisen - I would argue this being relevant because of the Dark Arisen expansion and what it does to the game, it's very good, and I had such a blast being my own person in it. Immersive as fuuuuck. Not enough hubs ):

7. Bioshock Infinite - Great game, unless you think too hard about it. Could have been more though, lets not beat around the bush on this part.

6. Rise of the Triad - play this game, it's fucking great and nostalgic and optimized and fun!

5. Wargame: Airland battle - one of the BEST strategy games I've played, brilliant units and actions with beautiful results and great multi player and single player. Always getting new content and updates.

4. Gunpoint - Best three hours of my life, haha just kidding - eating seven whoppers and passing out prematurely would take that award.

3. Shadowrun Returns - Good remake, a little disappointing (but what kickstarter isn't amirite? Ooooouuuyyaaaaa!!!)

2. Cook Serve Delicious: Extra Crispy Edition (2013 steam release) - this game is great! When it finally got on steam, I was so hype. There's also a Ryan Davis tribute burger, it's great!

1. Metro Last Light: Russians and post-apocalypse, I'm basically erect thinking about how perfect that is.

I hope you guys enjoyed my article as much as I did typing it, I also killed a few hours, and I am really feeling sleepy, so bonus points for that. I will admit I tried pretty fucking hard to be funny, but oh well.

Enjoy Christmas :)