This topic is locked from further discussion.

#1 Edited by Max_Cherry (1133 posts) -

Enter Kaz Hirai

"Internet Explorer 4.0 for Playstation Plus Subscribers BITCHES!!!"

Drops mic and exits stage

#2 Edited by Grimluck343 (1149 posts) -

The best of Internet Explorers.

#3 Posted by benpicko (2005 posts) -

hmm i hope ur rite

#4 Edited by DaMisterChief (628 posts) -

bungie will be there, why announce something if you're going to then go into hiding.

#5 Edited by Blu3V3nom07 (4203 posts) -

Kaz: "Yo son, I'ma hook you up. I'ma hook you up. I gots this PlayStashun! Four?.. Its gots, The Infamous, it could play Wu-Tang on the internet!, and.. The Spex?!, shit on Microsoft, son!.. And Crunchyroll."

#6 Edited by Oscar__Explosion (2246 posts) -

Oh you thought you were here for Playstation 4? POW PLAYSTATION 5 BITCHES.

#7 Posted by Aetheldod (3556 posts) -
#8 Posted by Max_Cherry (1133 posts) -

This is how it's going to go down.

#9 Edited by Dalai (7019 posts) -

Then that creepy baby from the PS3 launch commercials comes out and mutters, "Genji 2 at launch, where you will play as the giant enemy crab." Then it explodes.

Fin.

#10 Posted by Jay_Ray (1082 posts) -

They'll announce the PS4 for an August release and then the PS5 for November.

#11 Posted by Lord_Xp (602 posts) -

Harlem Shake starts everyone does Harlem Shake, then that's it.

#12 Edited by DarkShaper (1328 posts) -

@dalai said:

Then that creepy baby from the PS3 launch commercials comes out and mutters, "Genji 2 at launch, where you will play as the giant enemy crab." Then it explodes.

Fin.

Genji Days of the Blade was already the second game.

#13 Posted by ThePencil (390 posts) -

"VEEETA PRICE DROP!"

....

Then just silence...and dissapointment.

#14 Edited by Cold_Wolven (2217 posts) -

Just imagining Kaz dropping the mic all gangsta like gets me laughing.

#15 Posted by Strife777 (1555 posts) -

They'll announce the PSP2, duh.

#16 Edited by Warfare (1633 posts) -

@cold_wolven said:

Just imagining Kaz dropping the mic all gangsta like gets me laughing.

Please let this come true.

#17 Posted by Dalai (7019 posts) -

@dalai said:

Then that creepy baby from the PS3 launch commercials comes out and mutters, "Genji 2 at launch, where you will play as the giant enemy crab." Then it explodes.

Fin.

Genji Days of the Blade was already the second game.

Sony is going to remake Days of the Blade where you play as the giant enemy crab. They had to push back The Last Guardian to make that happen.

#18 Posted by Morbid_Coffee (955 posts) -

RIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIDGE

#19 Posted by Blu3V3nom07 (4203 posts) -

I love this one, So-So Much.

#20 Posted by Jrinswand (1705 posts) -

This thread may not be the best place to ask (as it is filled with shenanigans), but when is this thing supposed to be going down tomorrow? I haven't seen it mentioned anywhere.

#21 Posted by Warfare (1633 posts) -

RIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIDGE

Two Ridge Racer jokes in one day shame on you.

#22 Posted by Morbid_Coffee (955 posts) -

@warfare: A Playstation launch without Ridge Racer is no Playstation launch I want to be a part of :(

#23 Posted by Warfare (1633 posts) -
#24 Edited by Blu3V3nom07 (4203 posts) -

This thread may not be the best place to ask (as it is filled with shenanigans), but when is this thing supposed to be going down tomorrow? I haven't seen it mentioned anywhere.

Its going down at 5:30 PST. GameTrailers should have a stream, GameSpot won't? I think, IGN will, and GB's calendar said that it would.

#25 Edited by Jrinswand (1705 posts) -

@jrinswand said:

This thread may not be the best place to ask (as it is filled with shenanigans), but when is this thing supposed to be going down tomorrow? I haven't seen it mentioned anywhere.

Its going down at 5:30 PST. GameTrailers should have a stream, GameSpot won't? I think, IGN will, and GB's calendar said that it would.

Thanks, duder! I really appreciate it! And I'm psyched! That means that I can watch it after I get out of school tomorrow night.

#26 Edited by TheManWithNoPlan (5438 posts) -

There's definitely no way my high expectations will be shattered. Right? I just hope that Sony sticks to what really matters to us.

#27 Posted by iam3green (14390 posts) -

"VEEETA PRICE DROP!"

....

Then just silence...and dissapointment.

"RIIIIDGGGE RACER also coming out"... come on guys RIIIIIIDGGGG RACE.

ps4 announced.

#28 Edited by benpicko (2005 posts) -
@blu3v3nom07 said:

@jrinswand said:

This thread may not be the best place to ask (as it is filled with shenanigans), but when is this thing supposed to be going down tomorrow? I haven't seen it mentioned anywhere.

Its going down at 5:30 PST. GameTrailers should have a stream, GameSpot won't? I think, IGN will, and GB's calendar said that it would.

IGN said that they're doing a stream an hour before the conference starts, and that stream is on at 2PM PST.

http://ca.ign.com/articles/2013/02/14/watch-the-220-playstation-event-on-ign

#29 Edited by benpicko (2005 posts) -

There's definitely no way my high expectations will be shattered. Right? I just hope that Sony sticks to what really matters to us.

It's going to be a 5 minute stream. First four minutes and a half are hype trailers, before cutting to Kaz. He says, 'Stay tuned for an announcement at E3! See you all then!'. The lights dim and the stream ends.

#30 Posted by Zebracal (74 posts) -

I do hope that they won't announce anything that will give us any disappointments.

#31 Posted by ajamafalous (11964 posts) -

@benpicko said:

@themanwithnoplan said:

There's definitely no way my high expectations will be shattered. Right? I just hope that Sony sticks to what really matters to us.

It's going to be a 5 minute stream. First four minutes and a half are hype trailers, before cutting to Kaz. He says, 'Stay tuned for an announcement at E3! See you all then!'. The lights dim and the stream ends.

Oh man. I think this would be even better than a Vita press conference.

#32 Posted by Vinny_Says (5700 posts) -

The vita is now the official controller of the next playstation. Eat it nintendo.

Kaz walk off stage with a smarmy look, knowing that a bunch of suckers will pay $200 for a controller.

#33 Posted by spiceninja (3056 posts) -

Five hundred ninety nine US dollars.

Online
#34 Edited by TheHT (11155 posts) -

@jrinswand said:

@blu3v3nom07 said:

@jrinswand said:

This thread may not be the best place to ask (as it is filled with shenanigans), but when is this thing supposed to be going down tomorrow? I haven't seen it mentioned anywhere.

Its going down at 5:30 PST. GameTrailers should have a stream, GameSpot won't? I think, IGN will, and GB's calendar said that it would.

Thanks, duder! I really appreciate it! And I'm psyched! That means that I can watch it after I get out of school tomorrow night.

GameTrailers has a preshow hosted by Geoff Keighley that Jeff is going to be on.

edit: forgot to say, the preshow is at 5ET and 2pm PT. Also the Playstation Meeting apparently starts at 6pm EST, not 5:30 PST (which would be 8:30 EST).

#35 Posted by rachelepithet (1391 posts) -

Welcome announcement over PA by Oscars' commercial break "coming up" sounding voice, the PlayStation logo and blue banner animates and pulls away to a video screen...

Montage of PS franchise characters like Sackboy and happy hipster college-aged multiracial gamers smiling and enjoying Sony products -- set to "We Are Young"...

Banner closes back over screen. The word future is given the biggest font, beside a mish mash of words like entertainment, interactivity, social, gaming, you, music, sports, life, style, and of course the PlayStation logo.

Please welcome Kaz Harai.

Talks about what makes PS brand and Sony uniquely great, in terms that USA Today and The Sun reporters will eat up, but us actual game players will know are nothing that Xbox and Nintendo don't already do as well.

Bragging about how successful the PS Vita is. Bragging about the developers on board with it, and smash hits like Assassin's Liberation and Call of Duty Declassified (again, we know better, but mainstream media will eat it up like, "wow, the venerable Call of Duty franchise made an unprecedented appearance on a mobile system, only on PS Vita!").

Bragging that the Vita will only get even MORE successful as its price drops from 250 to 200, and now in silver color, with three or six months of PS+ included! Also, maybe a slight drop of memory card prices.

Finally, a big PS Vita game announcement, which will be something like Final Fantasy XIII-2 Crystal Chonicles Bearers.

Kaz talks about the PS3 debut, meaning to segue to talk of how many units its sold, etc., but instead draws laughs from the crowd that remembers how terrible Untold Legends, Lair, and Genji were, and the price, and RIIIIIDGE RACER.

Kaz brings up the grown up asian businessman equivalent to VGCHARTZ or SYSTEMWARS powerpoint slides of PS3 sales, market shares, etc. No mention that bluray is a huge part of that reason.

Bragging about trophies, PS Home, cross buy, music unlimited, apps like the College Hoops Network and Hulu Plus, and all the free games you get with PS+, with promises the service will get even better. No matter how remotely true, there will be a statistic made to make PS+ adoption rates sound amazing.

Toss up: this would be the perfect time, if ever, to mention PS2 sales one last time, and mention how they JUST stopped manufacturing them. Good time to brag about its greatest games getting ported to Vita. Regardless, more PS2 games will be mentioned in the conference than Move games.

Kaz alludes to the future, but gives us JPEG stills on the screen to his left, our right, of the promised exciting properties still yet to come on the amazing Pray-ooh-stash-ee-un Phree System like Two Souls and The Last of Us. (JPEG will be of Ellen Page's head, for shoooooo.) Perhaps new, better trailers for those games, and GOD of War Ascension.

"Today, we are pleased to introduce..." PS4 logo. Trailer. This is the part of canned footage of people like Mark Rein and Peter Molyneux and Tim Schafer sitting in directors chairs, talking about how excited they are about where the industry is going, and the tech the PS4 offers.

When the lights come back up Kaz is gone.

"Please welcome, Jack Tretton..."

Jack takes center stage. but raised platform behind him seems to be hiding the PS4 underneath a black tablecloth.

Tretton bullshits for two minutes about how excited "we are" and a few buzzword lingo about Sony's motives and concepts for what the system will do (like social network button, and OnLive style streaming.)

Pulls back cloth. Minute of oohs and ahhs, finally, another trailer of happy gamers (Abercrombie models and light skinned brothers) and mascots like Sackboy, but this time, with them holding the actual PS4 controllers while they fake play green screened next gen LBP and MLB The Show footage in their fake living rooms. Most of the footage shows them tweeting their achievements from the controller screen, sending JPEGs of the whole 1080p TV feed of their home run replays paused as the bat hits the ball to instagram, and recording gameplay footage to their PS+ accounts, no need for a Hauppage DVR or in game tech like Bungie and Treyarch use to do it. Perhaps showing them livestreaming their Twitch channel seamlessly integrated with their PSN accounts.

Closer looks at the system and controller with Jack T. Now the nitty gritty. Announced for November, and for a good "we are businesspeople but our PR reps that write these scripts know better and need something to win over the true gaming press in the crowd" moment, mention that it most certainly will NOT be as expensive as the PS3 was at launch.

Powerpoint slides about the AMD tech. Bullshit about Teraflops and Triangles per second. Time for the phony graphical tech demos (The Rubber Ducks and Tiger Wood's face sweat.) Something from the guy who made Journey. Not a game announcement, just a pretty screen saver. Perhaps Infinitely Blade shows up.

Next, talk about how great bluray movies are, and how much better (THE WORD "SMART" USED LIBERALLY) bluray will be on PS4 (just the same bullshit Xbox and Wii U do, but with the Vita and Sony Tablet S as the IMDB.com "second screen") Brief mention of 4K upscaling. "PS4 is future ready!"

Finally, its logo time, in other words, games five years away, if not cancelled, that just give us just a games logo zooming in on a black screen as its trailer.

Then comes announcements, not of true next gen exclusives, but games like Bioshock Infinite and GTA5 and MGS5 which while primarily PS3, will be announced as getting PS4 ports. Someone like Ken Levine will come out on stage and demo it (though itll secretly be the PC version running)

Furthermore, perhaps Modern Warfare 4 and Assassins Creed 4 will be announced, but again, with PS3 as the lead platform, not PS4.

Last but not least, will be trailers for truly next gen games like Watch Dogs and 1313.

Tretton thanks everyone for being there and seeing the future, blah blah blah. And to conclude, a surprise "AND one more thing..." trailer for one, big, truly next gen, first party franchise (Infamous 3? Killzone 4? Socom 5? Uncharted 4?)

#36 Posted by aurahack (2270 posts) -

@damisterchief: god i fukken hate that kid.

I don't know it'll go but if they don't bank on PS+ and promote it as being a digital library of games you can subscribe to, a Netflix-like service, I'm out until the price drops. ... Well, I'm out until the price drops regardless because I don't have the money for that shit anyway but that's the only thing I could see pushing me towards getting another console anytime soon. My gaming habits have changed too much to just buy it because fancier graphics. :T

#37 Posted by hermes (1424 posts) -

I expect a lot of massive damage...

#38 Edited by TooWalrus (13178 posts) -

Sony press conferences are seriously my favorite. I haven't seen you in awhile, Jack... you ARE the boss of me.

#39 Posted by rjayb89 (7720 posts) -

Final Fantasy VII. Used games require internet connection and replaces loading times with 30 second advertisements even if the console can load them way faster than that.

#40 Posted by Dixavd (1354 posts) -

"We are proud to announce that, through our partnership with Gaikai, we plan to change video games forever. No longer will graphics be an issue - as we are bringing back live-action video games. Our new console will stream all of your commands to your own personal team which will act out that which you tell them and stream it back to you.

Not only that, but no longer with dying in games be trivial; we are bringing back tension to video games. When your character dies, so does the person from your own personal team. True realism, brought to you by Sony; all in glorious 3D."

#41 Edited by GrantHeaslip (1573 posts) -

I’m going to get my Last Guardian prediction in writing so I can “told you so” when it happens. Sony specifically called out Ico among 2-3 games in their PS2 retrospective, which seems like a crazy thing to do unless they were planning on announcing something related (Kremlinology, I know).

I love this one, So-So Much.

The unfortunate thing about that reaction is that it basically had to be AT&T, as they’re the US carrier that uses the most standard/ubiquitous 3G bands. T-Mobile, like Mobilicity and Wind in Canada, uses AWS, which is a less-supported set of 3G bands. Verizon isn’t GSM at all, so it was never going to be them. If it were, Sony would have been forced to put special Verizon-specific hardware in each Vita.

I know people in some big cities hate AT&T, but that doesn’t change the reality that T-Mobile uses (relatively) obscure bands and Verizon uses an obscure standard.

#42 Posted by Sinusoidal (1427 posts) -

I'm not getting my hopes up, but it would be nice to find out that all the drama that happened over The Last Guardian was not drama so much as it was Team Ico being given early access and development incentive to make their game for the next generation Sony console. That's about the only thing that would get me to buy it on launch.

Whatever, "tomorrow" has been over here for 44 minutes, and I'm going to bed.

#43 Posted by Max_Cherry (1133 posts) -

What do you think is going to happen?

#44 Posted by Gamer_152 (14072 posts) -

I've said it before and I'll say it again, jokes don't need entire threads to themselves. Please don't clog up the forums for other users who want to start legitimate discussions.

Moderator