A short diatribe concerning fecal matter

So the other day I really had to use the bathroom. I go in to take the dump, and nothing came out except for 3-4 toads (hard to count those little bastards) and a copy of Madden 98. Does this mean I've finally become a man-- or do I need to see a doctor? (Note: the copy of Madden 98 was for the PC, if that helps to diagnose the problem.)
 
Any help would be much appreciated, I really need some guidance.

I'll give this thread 6 minutes.

" I'll give this thread 6 minutes. "

seriously guys can you try to act mature?

" Sign me up for 15. "

What is this I don't even

fuck you guys im going to gametrailers

" So the other day I really had to use the bathroom. I go in to take the dump, and nothing came out except for 3-4 toads (hard to count those little bastards) and a copy of Madden 98. Does this mean I've finally become a man-- or do I need to see a doctor? (Note: the copy of Madden 98 was for the PC, if that helps to diagnose the problem.) Any help would be much appreciated, I really need some guidance. "

8 minutes...

love this kinda shit!!!!

DO NOT INSTALL THAT COPY OF MADDEN!  INSERT IT BACK THROUGH YOUR SPHINCTER IMMEDIATELY.  THERE IS NO TIME TO EXPLAIN BUT IT IS VITALLY IMPORTANT THAT YOU DO THIS IF YOU VALUE YOUR LIFE.  I AM A LICENSED MEDICAL PROFESSIONAL.

Well, when you consider the way thread topics have been nosediving recently (staff-bashing and such), this is possibly one of the more intelligent things I've read on here all day. 
 
That being said, I think I can speak for if not all, at least quite a few of us when I say:  
 
WTF.

I'll give it 3 more.

Aww fuck.

" DO NOT INSTALL THAT COPY OF MADDEN!  INSERT IT BACK THROUGH YOUR SPHINCTER IMMEDIATELY.  THERE IS NO TIME TO EXPLAIN BUT IT IS VITALLY IMPORTANT THAT YOU DO THIS IF YOU VALUE YOUR LIFE.  I AM A LICENSED MEDICAL PROFESSIONAL. "

Probably just a minor symptom of the swine flu, don't worry about it man just get some rest.

I forgot to mention an important precaution that you should undertake immediately.  If you have any regular non animal or video game feces saved up from before your problem started, place it in your socks and wear them.  Your bowel movements should return to normal after a few days of continuous wear.  If you do not have any of your own feces borrow some from a person you trust.  Good luck.

25 minutes later...:/ this is what I mean by "We need more mods" WHERE IS MY HITLER?!?!

" Well, when you consider the way thread topics have been nosediving recently (staff-bashing and such), this is possibly one of the more intelligent things I've read on here all day.  That being said, I think I can speak for if not all, at least quite a few of us when I say:   WTF. "

" 25 minutes later...:/ this is what I mean by "We need more mods" WHERE IS MY HITLER?!?! "

" I forgot to mention an important precaution that you should undertake immediately.  If you have any regular non animal or video game feces saved up from before your problem started, place it in your socks and wear them.  Your bowel movements should return to normal after a few days of continuous wear.  If you do not have any of your own feces borrow some from a person you trust.  Good luck. "

Jesus, you passed the PC version of Madden 98? Of course that helps the diagnosis. The thing was packaged in a box the size of a cereal box, wasn't it? All PC titles used to be. 
 
Christ, you're going to be shitting rectangles for weeks. 
 
Yep, diagnosis achieved.
 
 
 
 
 
 
Edit: Dear god, the first sentence of ToadRunner's post has me rolling every time.

I'll say this thread hits between the 45 and 50 minute mark.

well thanks for the help, just had one of those rough days ya know?

Oh Giantbomb, what has happened to thou?

" @Food said:

" DO NOT INSTALL THAT COPY OF MADDEN!  INSERT IT BACK THROUGH YOUR SPHINCTER IMMEDIATELY.  THERE IS NO TIME TO EXPLAIN BUT IT IS VITALLY IMPORTANT THAT YOU DO THIS IF YOU VALUE YOUR LIFE.  I AM A LICENSED MEDICAL PROFESSIONAL. "

well i put it back in there, but i couldnt find all the toads. could I use some gummy bears as a substitute? "

Who would have thought that this would last about an hour? Good job, Giant Bomb. This has been a wonderful day for the forums.

There should be a law that should ban the use of inside jokes outside of the circle. That is, of course, assuming anyone would find this funny.