I recently learned of the concept of Anti-jokes, jokes that start out like regular ones, but achieve the opposite effect. most are pretty funny in a dry / deadpan / dark sort of way. and of course you can make up your own.
here are two of my favorites:
"A man walks into a bar. He is an alcoholic. His drinking problem is destroying his family."
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"What's the last thing Batman said to Robin before they got in the car?"
"Robin, get in the car."
Is anyone else familiar with anti-jokes, and if so, what are your favorites?
Anti-Jokes
Those jokes aren't funny. You really need to learn how to write jokes that are actually funny, with actual punchlines.
They are funny when they are surprising and well-delivered. Not so good in writing. Also, kind of agree with the first guy.
" @ArchScabby said:" Those jokes aren't funny. You really need to learn how to write jokes that are actually funny, with actual punchlines. "Man. I feel sorry for you. "
" @ArchScabby said:It's times like these when I miss the "+ / -" days of yore. :( ArchScabby needs to be -1'd to infinity." Those jokes aren't funny. You really need to learn how to write jokes that are actually funny, with actual punchlines. "Man. I feel sorry for you. "
A day before his 15th birthday, the son of a wealthy family was asked by his father, `Well my son, what would you like for your birthday?'
The son hesitated a moment and his father's thoughts leapt ahead to a new computer and similar things. However, his son had had a new computer only recently and could have a new one any time he wished.
Finally, the son said, `Father, I have everything a boy could wish for, but there is one thing I would really like. I would love to have a pink ping pong ball.'
The father was rather astonished at this wish, but said, `If it is a pink ping pong ball that you want, a pink ping pong ball you shall have.'
And so, the next day, the son was given as his bithday present a pink ping pong ball.
The boy took the ball to his room and the next morning the pink ping pong ball was gone. The father was mildly surprised but decided not to say anything. The pink ping pong ball, however, was never seen again.
The next year, a day before his 16th birthday, the father asked his son what he would like for his birthday.
`Father,' replied the son, `I have everything a boy could possibly wish for, but there is one thing I would really, really like. I would love to have a tenpack of pink ping pong balls.'
The father was more surprised than the year before, but kept his curiosity at bay, for he knew that his son had a right for privacy. he said therefore, `If it is a tenpack of pink ping pong balls that you want, a tenpack of pink ping pong balls you shall have.'
And so, the next day, the son was given as his birthday present a tenpack of pink ping pong balls.
The boy took the tenpack of balls to his room and the next morning, not a single ball remained, merely the empty husk of the tenpack. The father wondered where ten pink ping pong balls might disappear to, but decided not to say anything. The pink ping pong balls, however, were never seen again.
The next year, a day before his 17th birthday, the son was asked by his father what he would like for his birthday.
`Father,' said the son to this, `I have everything a boy could wish for, but one thing would make my happiness complete. I would dearly want a carton of pink ping pong balls.'
The father was beyond surprise, but decided to make sure he had not misheard. `A carton of pink ping pong balls?'
`A carton of pink ping pong balls,' the boy confirmed.
`I can't understand your fascination with pink ping pong balls,' said the father, `but if it is a carton of pink ping pong balls that you want, it is a carton of pink ping pong balls that you shall have.'
And so, the next day, the boy was given as his birthday present a carton of pink ping pong balls.
The boy was delighted and took the carton to his room. The next day, miraculously (as if by magic, even) the pink ping pong balls had all disappeared.
`Dear son,' said the father, `I must ask now, what do you do with all those pink ping pong balls?'
The son, however, was reluctant to tell him. `Please humour me, dear father.'
The carton of pink ping pong balls, however, was never seen again.
The next year, it was clear that the son would get a car, but the father felt that, perhaps, his son also had some other wish apart from the obvious. So, one day before the son's 18th birthday, the father asked him whether he had a special wish for his birthday.
`Dearest father,' the son started, `I have everything a young man could possibly want, but there is one craving in me. I would, more than anything, want a warehouse full of pink ping pong balls.'
One of these years, his father thought, I should get to the bottom of this. However, he decided to humour his son's wish. At least he had been wise enough to buy shares in a pink ping pong ball factory.
The next day, the son was given the address of a warehouse where all his new pink ping pong balls were stored. The son was delighted and decided to spend the next night in the warehouse rather than at home.
The following morning, the son stepped out of the warehouse, but it seemed to be empty otherwise. The father had a closer look and indeed, apart from empty cardboard boxes, nothing was left inside the warehouse. No pink ping pong balls were left.
The following year, one day before the son's 19th birthday, the father braced himself for another warehouse of pink ping pong balls. He asked his son what his deepest desire was and he had not been entirely wrong.
`Father, you have made me very happy these last years and this year I ask of you a shipload of pink ping pong balls if at all possible.'
It was possible, if only because the father had by now bought each and every factory of pink ping pong balls in the country.
The next day, the father took his son to the harbour and showed him a huge tanker and told his son that there were millions, billions, trillions of pink ping pong balls in there.
`Father,' the son said, `You've made me very happy yet again.'
That night, the son spent on board the tanker.
The next morning, not a single of the pink ping pong balls could be found, but the son was happy.
A few days before his 20th birthday, however, the son had a terrible road accident and was taken to the hospital.
His father visited the young man in hospital. `My dear son! Can I bring you anything to make you feel better?'
Weakly, the son sat up in bed. `Father, dearest father, grant me this wish; just one tenpack of pink ping pong balls.'
The father held his son's hand tightly. `Whatever you wish my son, but I have to give you one condition. Even if it may be embarrassing, I must know what you did with all those pink ping pong balls.'
`Very well, father, but please indulge me first. I will tell you whatever you wish to know after you have given me the ten pink ping pong balls.'
The father thought that was fair enough and the next day brought his son the ten asked for pink ping pong balls. The son smiled weakly but seemed too weak to talk.
`Son, I leave these pink ping pong balls with you and shall come back tomorrow to ask of you what you have done with all those pink ping pong balls.'
The son nodded weakly.
The next day, less than surprisingly, no pink ping pong balls could be found in the son's hospital room.
`Now, my dearest son, apple of my eye, treasure of my life, please tell me what you did with all those pink ping pong balls,' the father requested.
The son nodded and the father gripped his hand tighter.
`I-' the son started and sat up a bit, swallowing with a dry mouth.
`I- I-'
Then he died.
Anti-jokes can be amazing. They are often misused and delivered incorrectly. Above is an anti-joke classic. This one works great in real life because you can spend like 10 minutes telling the story, only to have your pals go "FUCK!" at the end. I've told it to many friends in groups, and its always worked out. However, I feel like most anti-jokes are people making stupid statements without properly understanding the concept. I realize talking about jokes this seriously is pretty lame, but the general misuse of anti-jokes is a shame. Blame the violent video games!
I mean the whole giantbomb forum is full of anti jokes because it's not funny besides 4chan pictures.
Okay, what did the crude chris brown say to riahanna when he hit her? I'm going to kill you (anti joke)
(joke) get back in the kitchen
"both of those endings were serious, unless you're an asshole that is.I mean the whole giantbomb forum is full of anti jokes because it's not funny because 4chan pictures.
"
Okay, what did the crude chris brown say to riahanna when he hit her? I'm going to kill you (anti joke)
(joke) get back in the kitchen
Okay, what do you call a man falling down a hill with red covered all over his body? .....Dying.
A man walked into a bar, he wanted to order a shot........ then someone got shot.
how many blond women does it take to screw in a light bulb? ..........one, she stuck her hand in the socket and got shocked to death.
Does it count if you tell childish jokes in full seriousness to the kind of people who won't laugh at the joke, but that will laugh at you for telling it?
" What did the farmer say when he couldn't find his tractor?Is it sad that, of all the jokes in this thread, that was the one that got me? Just imagining the deadpan delivery cracked me the hell up.
""Where is my tractor?"
" @ArchScabby said:Well I think you're pretty cool." @Cube: It worked. It's a success. So... Man. I feel sorry for you. "Not really. Knew it was a troll attempt from the beginning, I just think you're lame. "
Did you hear about the blonde that jumped off a bridge?
" What did the farmer say when he couldn't find his tractor?Okay, that one's pretty good.
""Where is my tractor?"
All I can think of with this thread is Kramer imitating Jerry. "Styrofoam. What is this stuff? What's up with that?"
In Japan, a guy who watched a very overtly racist commercial said "hey n******" to a Black guy and he got his ass beat.
Wow, these are sort of alright jokes, or joke concepts, but even the farmer one was meh. Nothing against you guys, but these anti jokes are a novelty for a very short time, and when I say a short time, I mean I get sick of them halfway first the first 'anti' joke I read.
OP's jokes are funny, the knock knock joke is superb. Ping Pong joke is so fucking boring, I hate hearing drawn out crap. Brevity is the soul of wit is so true. Hitman47 you really haven't got it at all.
A horse walks into a bar, so the bartender says
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