Dating Secret Exposed: Why Nice Guys Finish LastBy April MasiniSpecial to Yahoo! PersonalsUpdated: Jun 20, 2008"Are you a nice guy who has always wondered why the cocky guy -- the one who barely appears interested in the girl -- is usually the one who gets the girl? Have you suffered from hearing the words, "You're a really nice guy, but I only like you as a friend," from a woman who you would do (or may, in fact, have already done) just about anything and everything for -- only to turn around and watch her date (or even chase) a guy who treats her like she's nothing special? And are you stumped wondering why she would date a guy who treats her like that when she could have you who would treat her like a princess and give her everything she wants? Well, you better brace yourself because I'm going to tell you a couple of secrets that you might not want to hear. First, "nice" equates with boring and predictable. Look up "nice" in the dictionary and you find: pleasant; agreeable; satisfactory. In other words, average -- not exceptional, not exciting, and not sexy.I'll bet you've never heard a woman say she didn't want to date a guy because he was too confident, too passionate, or too exciting -- have you? But, I'll bet you have heard women say things like, "He's such a nice guy. He's so sweet and he's always there for me, but I only like him as a friend." Or, "He's such a good guy -- kind, thoughtful, generous, honest, loyal -- but there's no chemistry. He just doesn't turn me on." Sadly, I hear it all the time. The fact is, Mr. Nice Guy, you cannot bore a woman into feeling attracted to you or into wanting to date you. And as obvious as that sounds, if you are one of those guys I described that is exactly what you are trying to do. And it won't work. Please understand that I am not suggesting that you mistreat women or disrespect them in any way. What I suggesting is that you value and respect yourself more. To illustrate what I mean: The answer to the question, "Why does the guy who doesn't appear to care as much about the girl get the girl?" is simple: The nice guy cares too much, too soon. He has made the woman too important and too valuable and it shows in everything he says and does. He is too available, too eager to please, too accommodating, and he gives too much -- all without getting anything in return. By doing so, he has made himself appear desperate, insecure, needy of this woman's attention, affection, and approval -- and he has stripped himself of any value in her eyes. After all, if he's already doing and giving everything, without her doing or giving anything - why would she value him? She won't. She is not going to value him any more than he values himself. What she is going to do is look for someone else, someone who she perceives as being more worthy, more confident, and more valuable. It works like this: Once you need something, or you want it too badly, you forfeit your strength and lose all power of negotiation. You are in a position of weakness and you are perceived as weak. Someone (or something) else is in control of you, the situation, and it's outcome. Men in this situation appear to be anything but confident, strong, and exciting. More, they are perceived as being unworthy and as lacking value. Translation: Things that are easily acquired, obtained, or maintained, without any effort or sacrifice, lack value... it's human nature. The secret to why the cocky guy wins with women, over the nice guy, is that he is perceived as being a stronger, more confident guy with more value. How? He never invests everything -- his entire being, ego, and self-worth in what one woman's response or reaction to him is. He doesn't gush with compliments; he isn't always available; he doesn't give too much; and he knows he isn't going to die if a woman says "no" to him. More, his attitude is, yeah, I'd like to go out with you, but if I can't, that's OK -- I'm a busy guy, with exciting things going on, and lots of other options."
Actually, I've found that if you give a women a lot of attention they will be more likely to sleep with you. You're talking about high school girls.
If you're nice, respectful, give her the attention she may or may not deserve and you're not a loser who gets taken advantage of then more times then none you'll get the girl.
The jerk thing pertains much to high school. Most people tend to grow up after high school.
I did loose a few girlfriends to the asshole guys. One of them was just a total jerk, the other one was a jerk and a stoner. So go figure that the nice guy looses his girlfriend to the jerks, eh?
"I did loose a few girlfriends to the asshole guys. One of them was just a total jerk, the other one was a jerk and a stoner. So go figure that the nice guy looses his girlfriend to the jerks, eh? "
What does being a stoner have anything to do with being a jerk? Most stoners are nice, non-violent people IMO.
"I did loose a few girlfriends to the asshole guys. One of them was just a total jerk, the other one was a jerk and a stoner. So go figure that the nice guy looses his girlfriend to the jerks, eh? "
What does being a stoner have anything to do with being a jerk? Most stoners are nice, non-violent people IMO. "
I dont think he said that he was a jerk because he was a stoner, but he was a jerk as well as a stoner, and stoners aren't exactly the best general group of people.
I think I'm a nice guy, and I've got a girlfriend... Sure I'll joke around by making fun of her from time to time, but who doesn't? It's just funny for both sides.
Translation-99% of women are bitches, do not know what they want, are scum and are worse then any man could ever be in the capacity of lieing, or using others for their own gains.
P.S: after reading the article a 2nd time, the man they describe is not the cocky jerk, the guy describe is a confident man who still has feelings, What good guys cant understand is why women go for the actual jerks, you know the guys that use them for sex, could care less who or what they are, never compliment them, and worse off why so many women go after and stay with wife beaters, child molestors...ect
"Translation-99% of women are bitches, do not know what they want, are scum and are worse then any man could ever be in the capacity of lieing, or using others for their own gains.
P.S: after reading the article a 2nd time, the man they describe is not the cocky jerk, the guy describe is a confident man who still has feelings, What good guys cant understand is why women go for the actual jerks, you know the guys that use them for sex, could care less who or what they are, never compliment them, and worse off why so many women go after and stay with wife beaters, child molestors...ect "
You should patent that Theory there, just make sure Einstein isn't running the patent office. (For those of you who don't get it its a Family Guy reference.)
You should patent that Theory there, just make sure Einstein isn't running the patent office. (For those of you who don't get it its a Family Guy reference.) "
this article is confusing a little bit. Its pretty much not describing an asshole getting the girls .Its saying a confident guy thats not afraid of rejection gets the girl. Reminds me a little bit of that show on Vh1 but what I do is just be myself and not try and be too agressive but on the same time getting the point across. The person who wrote is too much of a stereotype thinking nice guys are always boring. Thats some bs.
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