Hi Duders. I've been following GiantBomb for years, but am posting for the first time. To keep a long story short, I have suffered with agoraphobia and panic attacks for the past five years or so, and that caused many of my relationships to turn south. Mostly because I was no longer interested in keeping them. I was terrified of my friends thinking I was crazy, so I made the very hard decision to let them go.
Not too long ago, I got in contact with an old friend of mine. She was my best friend for a time. I had noticed quite early on that she seemed distant and cold toward me. Because of my overwhelming anxiety, instead of talking to her about this issue, I took my frustration out on her. I tried to apologize but it hasn't done any good. Obviously, it's been a while since we've seen each other, but I suspect she's had a grudge against me for a while now; even before any of this started. My condition makes me very irritable and treatment is hard because it's a struggle to leave the house. I've tried explaining this to her, but I know I just sound like I'm making excuses, which I don't want to do. Unfortunately, I can only apologize via email since the nature of my disorder, and I doubt she'd even appreciate it if I were to show up randomly at her house anyway. I feel terrible about everything that has happened, and I'm finding it difficult to move on. This is the first time in my life, I think, where an apology hasn't worked. I suppose it's a good life lesson, but it doesn't make it any easier.
I decided to post this here because I'm a huge fan of the site, and I know this community tends to be supportive. This seems to be something everyone has to go through at some point. If you have any stories about friendships that ended, feel free to share them here!