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Posted by Aegon (5586 posts) 1 year, 3 months ago

Poll: Has a bird in the sky ever pooped on you? (352 votes)

Yes, once. 37%
Yes, more than once. 15%
No 47%
#1 Posted by GeekDown (1170 posts) -

Yes, I got shit on my head. Luckily I was wearing a cap, so I didn't get it in my hair.

#2 Posted by TheVeteran13 (1209 posts) -

Only one time when I was out fishing, a seagull crapped right on my favorite hat. It wasn't my favorite hat to wear after that but I still have a special appreciation for it saving my head that day.

#3 Posted by BeachThunder (11917 posts) -

Yes, right on top of my head ='( I know I can be a bit of a shithead sometimes, but I don't think I really deserved that.

#4 Posted by AlisterCat (5559 posts) -

Once, at school. Damn seagulls.

#5 Posted by Sanj (2384 posts) -

No, but my brother got pooped on by a pigeon twice in one day. I'm pretty sure it was a different pigeon...unless it had some kind of vendetta.

#6 Edited by Commander_Crichton (156 posts) -

People say it brings you luck, so I guess having been crapped on twice by a bird, means I should consider myself very lucky indeed. I unfortunately wasn't wearing a hat on both occasions.

#7 Edited by pyromagnestir (4322 posts) -

No, but a bird did once mistake my hair for it's nest or something, so it landed on my head and hung out for a couple seconds. That was my cue to get a haircut.

#8 Edited by Turtlebird95 (2384 posts) -

Do vehicles count?

My mom has a story from a few years back when she was driving with my brother somewhere and a goose flies over the car and splatters the windshield with his shit. I'm told it was one of the most hilarious things they'd ever seen and I'm pissed I wasn't there for that.

Also was anyone else reminded of the Robot Chicken scene when the bird shits and that guy's snorkel? I'd link it but Adult Swim seems to have removed all clips of it from Youtube.

#9 Edited by kaos_cracker (587 posts) -

I was leaving walmart and thenboom

#10 Edited by Funkydupe (3316 posts) -

Every single day. Oh you mean like an animal?

#11 Posted by StarvingGamer (8218 posts) -

On my head at school while wearing nice clothes because I had to give a presentation.

#12 Edited by TheManWithNoPlan (5475 posts) -

Never, but I've had a cloud piss on me.

#13 Edited by Sploder (917 posts) -

Four or five times in my life, I get really neurotic when I see a bird perched on a streetlight now

#14 Posted by PillClinton (3291 posts) -

No, but a bird in a tree has. A crow in a pine to be specific.

#15 Posted by JouselDelka (967 posts) -
Like this?

#16 Posted by Chibithor (574 posts) -

I had no idea it was so common. Now I'm scared

#17 Edited by Krullban (1034 posts) -

Not me, but when I went to school there was this kid who would constantly fake stuff to get sympathy, and one day some guy lightly pushed him and he fell to the ground and pretended he was knocked out, mouth wide open and a bird shit directly into his mouth. It was glorious.

#18 Edited by Tylea002 (2295 posts) -


On valentines day.

My girlfriend helped clean shit out of my hair.

On Valentines day.

#19 Edited by Olqavtoras (222 posts) -

A bird pooped on an ice-cream cone I had once, is that a yes or a no?

#20 Posted by sevenLiter (110 posts) -

A fish once pooped in the water underneath me and it floated up to my body.

#21 Edited by MikkaQ (10288 posts) -

Yeah both times I just ran straight to the shower and then stayed in bed the rest of the day. If I'm getting shit upon, I'm taking the day off.

#22 Edited by JasonR86 (9694 posts) -

Yeah, once. When I was in elementary school. And it sucked.

#23 Edited by kerse (2113 posts) -

I had no idea it was so common. Now I'm scared

Yeah seriously

#24 Posted by Zomgfruitbunnies (778 posts) -

Strictly speaking, no, but I have had seagulls attempt to shit on me and miss. The vomit hit, though. Felt really bad for the lady in front who took most of the damage since I kind of instigated the bombardment.

#25 Posted by Milkman (16771 posts) -

Yep, I was at the beach and a seagull shit on my shoulder. It was not fun.

#26 Posted by SMTDante89 (2577 posts) -

Yes, had my arm sticking straight out of the passenger's window in one of my dad's vehicles while riding home from school and hit me just below the elbow. Hurt quite a bit too.

#27 Posted by Nezza (358 posts) -

Yes, and now we're banned from that airline.... Badum-tish

I live on an island. The chances of not getting crapped on by the cornucopia of seabirds at least once every few months are practically nil.

#28 Edited by OllyOxenFree (4972 posts) -

Birds are assholes.

"I set you free and you shit on me!"

#29 Posted by automatontribe (198 posts) -
#30 Posted by development (2306 posts) -

No, but I swear they intentionally try to fly over people for some reason. One shat on my roommate's shirt when he was at the beach. He deserved it.

#31 Posted by AlexanderSheen (4999 posts) -

Twice. The first time it was a pigeon shit on my shoulder then years later a seagull on my pants. I was not happy about it.

#32 Edited by NegativeCero (2999 posts) -

Nope. But if I was a bird, I would shit on every person I saw because I could.

#33 Posted by hughesman (312 posts) -


Right in the eye.

It was very confusing.

#34 Posted by konig_kei (617 posts) -

Once in primary school, got me on the neck, missed the shirt and missed the hair. Just went to the tap and washed it off.

#35 Posted by TheHT (11225 posts) -


Right in the eye.

It was very confusing.



#36 Posted by TheManiacsGnome (270 posts) -

Once on picture day in elementary school ages ago, right on the shoulder. The second time was today early this morning, end of May/Beginning of June has been fucking awful.

#37 Posted by Nilazz (613 posts) -

Yes, on a date actually.

#38 Posted by Icicle7x3 (1180 posts) -

Yup. Seagull.

#39 Posted by masternater27 (918 posts) -

Once right as I was leaving for work,made me late cause I had to re shower. The other time I was with a girl, fortunately had my hood up.

#40 Edited by Colt45 (54 posts) -

A bird in the air has never pooped on me, but one sitting on my shoulder has. It was at an atrium. I was 8. I still carry a grudge.

#41 Posted by CreepyUncleBrad (168 posts) -

No but when I was a kid my friend and I were out riding bikes and a bird crapped on is face, which took him by surprise causing him to wipe out and land face first on the road, giving him a bunch of scrapes and cuts right where the bird crapped on him. So we got back on our bikes to head back to his house. The fall really just ground the bird crap right into his face. It was terrible but also hilarious. Of course one more thing had to go wrong and when we got back to his house this girl he had a crush on was waiting for him in his driveway. He was not thrilled.

#42 Edited by HerbieBug (4212 posts) -

Yes, twice. Once when I was a teenager doing my paper delivery route early in the morning. I walked under a tree, bird must have been startled and flew off right fast, left a parting gift on my jacket sleeve.

The second time was awful. I had just recently gone through a very stressful apartment move and the weather was particularly cold, even for that time of winter. I get up early to go to work, walk out to car, proceed to set about scraping the evening's ice accumulation from the windows and *splat* right on the side of my face from the magpie on the light pole above. That was one of the worst years of my life and this incident was the proverbial cherry on cake of misery. :(

#43 Posted by MideonNViscera (2257 posts) -

Yeah, one time I was in the woods, was probably 8 or 9, and I thought I felt rain. So I stuck my hand out, and a bird shit in it. It was ridiculous.

#44 Posted by Danteveli (1184 posts) -

No and I hope it stays this way.

#45 Posted by awesomeusername (4182 posts) -

A bird pooped on an ice-cream cone I had once, is that a yes or a no?

Did you notice it before or after you ate the ice cream cone?

#46 Posted by afjkidd5 (97 posts) -

A bird got me on the shoulder one time at Universal Studios.

#47 Posted by Coafi (1488 posts) -

Yes, after my high school graduation. I was so happy before that happened.

#48 Posted by EVO (3901 posts) -

I know a guy that got shat on by a pelican. Sadly I wasn't there to see it.

#49 Edited by MegaLombax (390 posts) -

Yeap, happened when i was in school. Landed on my thigh. Everyone else laughed while i ran to the toilet. Last time i wore short pants...ever.

#50 Edited by supamon (1333 posts) -

Yeah I was talking with a friend and out of the corner of my eye I saw some birds flying towards us. Next thing I knew we had poop on us. The dang bird had done a bombing run on us in the middle of a bustling market. I got some on my eye, face and spectacles but my friend took the full frontal attack of the bombing run with his long luscious hair, he was never the same after that. God damn pigeons.