#1 Posted by development (2109 posts) -

Brad has mentioned these a few times. You're doing your thing, reading a book, sitting in class, whatever; then, out of nowhere, you recollect some horrifically awkward thing you did from your past that forces you into minor spasms. Whether it's you clenching your fist or contorting your face, you just feel that moment ricochet throughout your whole terrible self.

Tell me about one of yours.

I think I have a decent one to start things off. I'm at a club with some friends; they bring along a lady-friend who ends up showing some interest in me. We end up dancing. There's some shitty song playing where the chorus goes "put your hands up" twice. The first time the song says it I don't see it coming, because I don't go to clubs very often, so I keep my hands down while everyone around me raises their hand. I'm like, shit, now I look lame. Then the song says it again, so I'm like, "fuck yeah, I got this," but I don't realize what the song says directly after this line is something like "(put your hands up) if you're fucking your girl tonight." So I do it, and not only does no one else raise their hands, but this girl who barely knows me is looking at me like "this kid thinks he's totally sealed the deal already? Whaaaat." Needless to say, it felt like a singularity of awkwardness just manifested inside my body. There's nothing you can say when that happens! That's the terrible thing: when you say or do something that stupid, there's no way to fix the situation. The only solution is to never do it in the first place. The rest of the night wasn't ruined, but... *shiver* it was bad.

#2 Posted by wewantsthering (1553 posts) -

I don't have a story that comes to mind right now, but your story was great. Haha. Man that must have sucked!

#3 Edited by TheSouthernDandy (3805 posts) -

That time a bus load of cheerleaders told me they couldn't have anything to do with me cause my junk was TOO big.

Super embarrassing.

#4 Edited by andmm (213 posts) -

Rather not talk about it. :|

#5 Posted by Pezen (1568 posts) -

Once I was out drinking with a lady friend of mine after a concert. At said show we met a friend of hers that joined us at the bar. So as we're sitting there talking, she asks him to help her adjust her bikini top. So he fumbles around back there and says it's tricky. I laugh and say; "Well, you got hands, use them!" To which he stops, reach out his arms and say; "No, I don't." -- I had somehow missed that the dude had no actual hands! He was born that way. I had been around the dude for a few hours and I never noticed! I felt like a real piece of shit.

Oh man, I have plenty. But I don't want to end today with me eating too many calories to distract my mind from asking too many questions.

#6 Posted by RonGalaxy (2919 posts) -

Everyday of highschool

#7 Posted by development (2109 posts) -

@pezen: Isn't the worse person the girl who asked him to adjust her top? Also, that's some shit luck.

#8 Posted by Tearhead (2155 posts) -

Yeah... I hate those moments. When they pop in my head I usually mutter swear words out loud as I try to mentally force the thought out of my head.

#9 Posted by Flappy (2143 posts) -

As a person that was once a dumb teenager, I have a couple of these. It doesn't happen too often, but when one of those thoughts pop into my head, I suck my teeth and let out a "Fuck."

What could've been...

#10 Posted by wjb (1645 posts) -

Pretty much every time I liked a girl from age 18-20. I was shy, didn't know how to talk to girls, and was constantly tormented by my boners.

I guess you can say I was a "nice guy" who came off as a creep. I meant well; I just believed my own bullshit. I didn't understand that simply declaring myself "nice" and doing normal feats of decency doesn't lead to girls throwing themselves at me or giving me blowjobs.

#11 Edited by development (2109 posts) -

@wjb: At about that same age, I was the guy who couldn't take a hint. I finally learned that when a girl is "busy" I just need to let it go. They need to teach shit like that in school.

#12 Posted by Muzhik (23 posts) -

For me every time I talk to a person is that moment which will make me lose sleep for a few weeks

#13 Edited by BackupPanic (112 posts) -

@muzhik said:

For me every time I talk to a person is that moment which will make me lose sleep for a few weeks

This, all the way.

#14 Posted by Video_Game_King (36112 posts) -

I'm not sure I have that, but I do have unwanted, very strange thoughts pop up a lot. I either simply don't want them there because they make me feel like absolute shit, or I hope that I don't act on those thoughts and do something totally fucking crazy. (Also, those thoughts reflect how utterly goddamn crazy I am.)

#15 Edited by DoctorDonkey (192 posts) -
@video_game_king said:

I'm not sure I have that, but I do have unwanted, very strange thoughts pop up a lot. I either simply don't want them there because they make me feel like absolute shit, or I hope that I don't act on those thoughts and do something totally fucking crazy. (Also, those thoughts reflect how utterly goddamn crazy I am.)

Brother, I relate to this 100%. Sometimes I sit there and think "How the fuck did that get in there? I must be losing it."

#16 Edited by PandaBear (1312 posts) -

@pezen said:

Once I was out drinking with a lady friend of mine after a concert. At said show we met a friend of hers that joined us at the bar. So as we're sitting there talking, she asks him to help her adjust her bikini top. So he fumbles around back there and says it's tricky. I laugh and say; "Well, you got hands, use them!" To which he stops, reach out his arms and say; "No, I don't." -- I had somehow missed that the dude had no actual hands! He was born that way. I had been around the dude for a few hours and I never noticed! I felt like a real piece of shit.

Oh man, I have plenty. But I don't want to end today with me eating too many calories to distract my mind from asking too many questions.

Giant Bomb needs like buttons. This is brilliant! haha

#17 Edited by Chop (1995 posts) -

@wjb said:

Pretty much every time I liked a girl from age 18-20. I was shy, didn't know how to talk to girls, and was constantly tormented by my boners.

Yeah, this. Any interactions I had with girls I liked from around that age is just...painful to think about.

Being a fat, awkward dude who did nothing but hide in his room during high school didn't really prepare me for interactions with pretty girls

#18 Posted by ArtisanBreads (3763 posts) -

@development: That story was fucking awesome hahaha. Gonna have to think about this, I'm sure I have some stories.

Online
#19 Posted by tourgen (4432 posts) -

Ahh man you guys need to give yourself a break, learn to forgive yourself for being human like everyone else. Maybe think about the times you kicked ass more often. Everyone has their ups and downs in life.

#20 Posted by pyromagnestir (4253 posts) -

This happens to me pretty much on a daily basis. Often several times a day. I usually react by thinking or, if I'm alone, speaking aloud some variation of "I hate myself."

None of the stories I could tell would be particularly amusing, I think. More likely they'd just be pathetic. And not even pathetic because of how terrible they are, but pathetic because of how mundane they are. Pretty much everything I say or do causes me to hate myself. As a result I go through my day never talking to anyone unless I have to, or they talk to me first. So most days I don't say more than 2 words to anybody.

#21 Posted by MaxMikado (51 posts) -

I can't think of a story off the top of my head (I'm sure one will come to me), but you ever think back on those moments and instinctively facepalm yourself or yell out, "FUCK!," only to have everyone stare at you?

#22 Edited by Dasacant2 (215 posts) -

I guess the worst one for me was in high school I was reading and a girl next to me ask me something, I wasn't paying attention and just said "yeah, sure". Everyone at the table gasped, turns out the girl, who I guess had weight issues had asked if she looked fat. One of the many high school moments I wish I could redo.

#23 Posted by Krullban (1024 posts) -

I'm not sure I have that, but I do have unwanted, very strange thoughts pop up a lot. I either simply don't want them there because they make me feel like absolute shit, or I hope that I don't act on those thoughts and do something totally fucking crazy. (Also, those thoughts reflect how utterly goddamn crazy I am.)

Side effect to being a dirty moon man.

#24 Edited by Video_Game_King (36112 posts) -

@krullban:

Now who's the one being a reductive racist?

#25 Edited by development (2109 posts) -

@pyromagnestir: The more you talk to people, the less nervous you'll be, the less you'll overthink it, and the less you'll care about the things you say. I wouldn't take any of these moments to mean you're actually pathetic, just that you said something pathetic. But that's bound to happen when you don't have much experience. It's a self-fulfilling prophecy.

#26 Edited by TheManWithNoPlan (5273 posts) -

Just by seeing this thread, I'm reliving all the awkward moments in my life. One for instance, involved me doing a performance on stage and forgetting the words to a song completely, another was when I tried to make a joke to my friends in High School and I said something seemingly tragic and self revalatory. Neither of these moments seem all that bad, but the problem with having actual OCD (Like myself) is when you do remember, you sit and obsess on that single thought.

As brad said, you relive the instance and for me basically become trapped in my own mind. It can become extremely self reductive. I'm not as bad about it as I use to be, but sometimes you just can't help it. The way the mind retains information makes it so when you create new memories they can become attached to other similarly related subjects, whether that be a song, place, or maybe even a person. So for me, whenever I think of my shitty times in High school, I think of when I started listening to jazz and to this day I unfortunately still connect the two.

#27 Posted by pyromagnestir (4253 posts) -

@development:

What I mean by pathetic is that the moments I'm traumatized by are really not traumatic moments at all. Things don't have to go bad, and often they don't, for me to end up hating myself and traumatized by it for some reason afterwards. Hell I might be more likely to to end up hating myself after good stuff rather than bad.

#28 Edited by Levio (1784 posts) -

These events happen to me about six times per day. The memories aren't even that bad, but the fact that I still have no solutions to the corresponding problems that I faced in my past weighs on me heavily.

EDIT: On a positive note, I read an article a few months back about how researchers were able to use magnetic pulse therapy to disconnect negative emotions from painful memories for some people. So there is theoretically a cure for regret.

#29 Edited by senrat (319 posts) -

An excess of these thoughts is indicative of an anxiety disorder. Dwelling on shit that happened years ago and has no bearing on your current sitiuation is a waste of thought/time and adds stress for no reason. I used to have issues with overthinking and analyzing past events and mistakes until I realized that it was pointless. Focus on the future.

#30 Posted by FancySoapsMan (5808 posts) -

Sometimes it feels like every moment of my life is awkward. Maybe I'm just crazy and nobody else thinks that though.

#31 Posted by development (2109 posts) -

@pyromagnestir: Modern shock therapy is actually a valid option, too. It should only be used for extreme depression, and as a last resort, but there's actually plenty of science behind it, saying it works fine.

@senrat said:

An excess of these thoughts is indicative of an anxiety disorder. Dwelling on shit that happened years ago and has no bearing on your current sitiuation is a waste of thought/time and adds stress for no reason. I used to have issues with overthinking and analyzing past events and mistakes until I realized that it was pointless. Focus on the future.

I love comments like this. It's like saying to a marathon runner: "just win the race." It ain't that easy, buddy. Just for clarification, though, I don't have any depression/anxiety problems. I'm just cognizant enough to know when I've done something stupid, and fortunate enough that I pay enough attention to them that I know to fix the habits in the future.

#32 Posted by squiDc00kiE (350 posts) -

About 5 years ago, I was playing Scattergories with some very conservative friends that I didnt really know very well at the time, and I played "strap on" for clothing starting with S. It didnt go very well. Still makes me laugh and cringe at the same time.

And to anyone who thinks they know anything about mental illness without professional training or being afflicted with it themselves, please STOP TALKING.

#33 Posted by I_Stay_Puft (3062 posts) -

I think I'm good... Pretty scarring moment for the rest of my life even though it happenend 5 years ago.

#34 Edited by theodacourt (520 posts) -

The most embarrassing thing that ever happened to me when I was working at a cinema in London. We got quite a few famous people in and I really didn't care much about them. Keira Knightly came in once and refused to speak to anyone and looked away from the desks while her boyfriend bought the tickets/food. Arsehole.

The Monty Python star Terry Jones comes into the cinema in a rush to watch Slumdog Millionaire and I'm a huuuuuge fan of Python! I couldn't help myself and I spurted out ":-O are you Terry Gilliam!?" and he says no I'm Terry Jones. I say I'm a big fan, and sorry but the screening is sold out so you can't watch your film.

If it was anyone else I don't think I'd feel so embarrassed and ashamed by it but I probably wouldn't have said anything anyway. I still go red if I think about it. The one time I met a legend I cared about enough to say something to and I proper cock it up.

#35 Posted by SecondPersonShooter (616 posts) -

I work at a drycleaner and a guy came in and put his clothes on the counter, and I asked him if they were table cloths.

He responded with "No, they're shirts, I'm a big guy" and I don't know why I did this, but my response to that statement was "Heh, yeah you are", which is probably the worst job I have ever done in customer service in my life.


That's probably my most recent story.

#36 Posted by SunBroZak (1033 posts) -

I've had a few instances where I've seen what I thought was a girl waving at me, only to find out they were waving to someone else, followed by them giggling when they see me waving back like a fool. Not a comfortable situation to walk away from.

Also the entirety of my first (and really only) relationship with a girl was pretty awkward. Which is a shame, since she was a really nice girl, and all I could do when we were together was go silent and embarrassed. I'm sure it doesn't come as a shock that the relationship didn't last long.

#37 Edited by kineticflow (52 posts) -

Here's an advice:

Yeah, you remember these awkward moments, but other people who were there probably don't remember what you did.

Think about this: how many instances do you remember, when some stranger did something embarrassing? Do you remember that guy who worked at the gas station 10 years ago who said something awkward? No.

#38 Posted by Breadfan (6589 posts) -

My whole life is a horribly awkward moment.

#39 Posted by squiDc00kiE (350 posts) -

@kineticflow: Yeah dude that sounds easy enough, but an excess of these thoughts can often be linked with clinical depression. It starts to become out of your control at some point. One thing I have found to help alleviate the pain is to talk about it and try to make it funny. That's all some of us are trying to do here. Then at least you brought joy to someone with a memory that caused you pain.